The Weight of Compassion
by Eve of Faith
Summary: What she feels, others feel. What others feel, Evangeline feels. Is it a curse or a blessing? She takes it as the former. She has never felt a hundred percent normal. And when trouble comes to her home town of Mystic Falls, Evangeline; the girl who is most comfortable on the sidelines, gets dragged right into the middle of it all.
1. Prologue

**So I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 a while ago, and liked the empath idea, so I kind of got my inspiration from there (so it's not a crossover or anything, and Evangeline doesn't have antennas...). And I've always liked Elijah, so I figured, why not put the two together :) Super short prologue, but I've got more material that I'm working on so the chapters will be longer.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries.**

* * *

 _''One can be he master of_

 _what one does, but never_

 _of what one feels.''_

Gustave Flaubert

* * *

I had felt it. This... this itch. It was as if my subconscious had been reaching out, trying to touch her – trying to help. I think I was too young to understand, but I remember wanting to make my mothers sobbing stop. And when I touched her – I did.

I was five the first time it happened. My father had just passed away, and my mother couldn't understand why she felt so peaceful all of a sudden. Until a pattern emerged.

The second time, I was seven. I had been angry with a friend at school; and in the midst of an argument I pushed her. In all honesty it hadn't been a push, actually more of a tap. Nevertheless, it wasn't the tap, or push as she called it, that made her cry – it was what I wanted her to feel. She wouldn't stop crying for a whole day. As said, it wasn't more than a mere touch, but children can be quite sensitive so no one got suspicious.

It was when I was eleven that my mother sat me down and straight out asked me if I knew what was going on with me. It'd been after yet another passing of a family member. My grandmother's death had left my mother in a sobbing mess for days and days. One night, when I had gone to bed, I couldn't sleep because of how her cries pierced the thins walls of our house. I'd crept out from under my covers and went into her room. I'd found her curled up crying on the edge of her bed, still in her day clothes. And I had touched her. And she'd stopped crying. And then I went back to bed. The morning after, she'd sat down next to me at breakfast, looked me in the eyes, and asked.

I told her the truth. I didn't know. I had no idea how I could do the things I did. She'd reached out her arm and said: ''Can you make me happy?'' I'd looked at her as if she was crazy. She'd repeated herself, and I'd touched her. Nothing had happened. She'd urged me to do it again. I'd tried focusing that time, and without even digging too deep a funny thing that happened at school popped into my mind. My thoughts and focus had been interrupted by laughter. My mothers' laughter.

Over the years since then, my mother and I had conducted similar experiments. I don't know what I am. I don't know how I got this ability. All I know is that I... I can take pain away from people. I can make them cry and I can make them laugh. I can calm them down and rile them up. I can make people... **feel**.


	2. Chapter 1

**I honestly don't remember when Alaric quit teaching, and I don't have my blurays right now... I'll get to the fact checking when I have them available. This story starts around the beginning of season 2. But this is more of a filler/introduction, though. Thank you for following and favouring, enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''The end is in the beginning and lies far ahead.''_

Ralph Ellison

* * *

''Mum! I need a pen!''

I frantically rummaged through one of our kitchen drawers where we usually kept pens, notepads and such – and I couldn't find a single one. I groaned. I was late for school. Not that I **went** to school – I sometimes filled in as a substitute. I'd graduated two years ago, facing my crushed dreams of going to university and going straight to working at the Grill to help support my mother and I. Sometimes Mystic Falls High called me to fill in for some of their teachers since they knew that I was both reliable and versatile.

''Mum!'' I yelled, my stress emanating in frustration.

I heard her rushed steps and seconds later she appeared in the doorway with a pen in hand.

''Will this do?'' I nodded and pretty much snatched it out of her hand. ''This isn't like you, Evangeline.''

''I know,'' I answered shortly. ''I didn't get much sleep last night.''

My mother put a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, frowning. ''Do you want to talk about it?''

I shook my head and threw everything I needed food-wise into my bag. ''I'm late.''

I gave her a quick hug. ''See you later.'' I waved at her and hurried out to my bike.

We did have a car, it's just that my mother needed it for work on some days. She was a nurse at the hospital here in Mystic Falls, a profession which came with a lot of overtime and many night shifts. We didn't always get to see much of each other these days, since I juggled working at school and taking as many evening shifts at the Grill as I could.

Substituting was fun, usually. Since I was only a couple of years older than most of the students, and we'd all grown up in the same town, it felt awkward on my part from time to time. But I did my best, and I was getting better at it. The class I usually had was English, sometimes history, so I was comfortable around most of the English students. Today, though, it was my first time getting to hold a French class. Me speaking French was the result of my high school education. I always had a knack for languages, so I didn't really have a problem substituting in the subject, even though I wasn't a hundred percent fluent.

When I'd made it to school, and gotten all the materials I needed from the teachers office, I quickly headed over to the classroom. I had French first, and to be honest? I was really, really nervous. Opening the door, I found most of the class already seated. Surprisingly.

''Bonjour!'' I smiled at the students, hoping it didn't look too strained. Or that I looked stuck up. Or something – I pretty much ran every possible scenario I could think of through my head. ''Comment-allez vous?''

Those who didn't just stare at me, stared at their phones. And I didn't get any response. I sighed inwardly, and sure hoped I would fare better in my upcoming English class. There was nothing so exhausting as trying to get a class to wake up.

* * *

I had two different French classes before lunch, and one English class after. Thankfully, it was a group of students that I'd had many times before.

''Hello everyone,'' I gave them a smile as I entered, covering up my tiredness. At least, I hoped it would. I gave the class a look over. Most of them seemed to be here.

''Hi, Miss Moreau,'' the same greeting spread across the room.

''So, obviously, Mrs. Cooper has been elsewhere detained,'' I stated, dumping my folders and books on the desk with a thud. ''I'm going to take over this class for the coming month, just so you know.''

''You always make our day, Miss Moreau,'' I heard a familiar jokester from the back say in a sing-song voice. ''This is going to be the best month ever.''

''Thank you, Isaac, likewise.'' I chuckled and smiled at the familiar blonde guy leaning back in his chair. ''So, today we're supposed to go over your book reports, yes?''

The class answered in a mix of humming and groaning. I laughed. ''Don't worry. You know I'm nice.''

As I walked around the classroom collecting the students reports, I mentally went through the attendance list. I'd had this class before, so I was familiar with who should be there. And besides, I was only a couple of years older than them, and we'd grown up in the same town. Naturally, I knew who was who. I frowned when I noticed that a certain someone was missing yet again.

''Has anyone seen Stefan today?''

''He's sick,'' a female voice responded almost instantly.

''Thank you Elena,'' I replied with a small smile. ''Would you mind telling him that I need to talk with him?'' The brunette nodded.

Stefan Salvatore was an interesting character. Clever as can be, but difficult to read. He wasn't from around here really, although his family was. Being a founding family, and all. He was nice and smart though, and Elena had obviously fallen for him so I took that as a good sign. But he'd missed class quite a few times now. Before class, I'd sneaked a peek in Mrs. Coopers attendance folder and noticed a few too many red marks beside his name. So I knew I had to talk with him, for his own sake.

I picked up my copy of _The Catcher in the Rye_ and waved it in front of the class, leaning back with my other hand supporting me on the desk behind me. ''This is the book I've read. I hope you've all done the same?''

''I have!''

I looked at the back of the classroom trying not to smile. ''Thank you, Isaac.''

To be honest, I was just happy as long as the students respected me even though I wasn't really their elder, and that they did the work that was required of them. And thankfully, they did. The former, at least. Unfortunately, I couldn't expect all of my students to be as focused and determined as myself.

The class continued without any mishaps – thank god – and when the bell rang I felt the same relief as I always did. I wasn't uncomfortable with teaching anymore, not like I'd been at the beginning, but I entered a role that felt heavier than it probably should. Maybe it was my age, I don't know.

I gathered all my things and all the reports that had been handed in and headed towards the teachers office to drop them off. I had to mentally prepare for work at the Grill in – I looked at my wrist-watch – two hours from now. And I had to ride my bike home and change.

As I went to open the door to the office and enter, I bumped into someone who was on their way out. ''Oh, sorry!'' I took a deep breath when the jump scare wore off.

''I'm sorry, too,'' a male voice answered. ''Hi, Miss Moreau.''

I looked up to see who it was that I'd bumped into. ''Oh, mr. Saltzman. Sorry, again.''

The residing history teacher, Mr. Saltzman, looked down at me with his blue eyes. He was really nice, and the students seemed to really like him. And respect him. I honestly wished that when I'd gone to high school, I'd have had him in history rather than Tanner. Not the nicest thing to say about a dead man, I suppose, but truth be told, he wasn't nice.

''You heading home?'' he asked, offering me a small smile.

I nodded. ''Yeah, I only had three classes today so...''

He stepped aside, letting me pass through. ''You're covering for Mrs. Cooper, right?''

''Uhu,'' I replied and went over to what had been cleared as my little corner – basically a chair by a tiny table squeezed in between Mrs. Coopers and Mr. Saltzmans two desks. I placed the folders in a correct order and made sure that everything was neat an right where it should be. ''For a month.''

''Yeah, well, if you need anything, you know where to find me,'' he reassured and I gave him a thankful smile when I turned around again.

''Thanks.''

His gaze lowered to the floor, making him look as if he were in deep thought.

''I'll see you around?'' I grabbed my coat and tried to meet his eyes, which then flickered to mine.

''Yeah,'' he smiled. ''Bye.''

As I went out to get my bike I frowned. Sometimes there was just too many strange things happening in this town. I didn't know if it was all in my head or not, but lately, the past year or so, Mystic Falls didn't seem so safe anymore. I shook myself rid of the thought. No. Nothing bad ever happened in Mystic Falls. Only multiple disappearances. And deaths. Sure – nothing bad ever happened here.

* * *

It wasn't a busy night at the Mystic Grill. Sometimes if would be crawling with high school students, but tonight there were only a few older couples and some people at the bar. Working at a place like the Grill, you got to see and hear a lot. If you were observant. I wasn't one to snoop around, not in excess, but I tended to keep both an ear and an eye out. If anything, it made my job so much more interesting.

''Evangeline!'' I heard my name being called from the kitchen. I gave the tables and guests a once-over before I went back there, making sure I wasn't needed.

My supervisor was in the back, standing next to a girl about my age with brown hair and dark eyes. She looked nervous.

''Yes, ma'am?'' I looked at her expectantly.

The girl beat her to it, and reached out her hand in greeting.

Oh, god, I hated this. I couldn't not shake her hand, and I couldn't control getting an emotional reading from her. All I could do was concentrate on not channeling anything of myself onto her.

''Hi,'' I smiled and shook her hand quickly. That short contact was all it took for me to feel that yes, she was in fact nervous. Incredibly nervous, and I had to bite my tongue to keep myself from feeling the sick-to-the-stomach feeling she gave me.

She smiled nervously. ''Hi. I'm Sarah.''

Thankfully, I didn't seem to have afflicted her in any way. It was a game of russian roulette, me greeting other people. That was the only time I put my hands against another persons skin, and since I didn't know how to control myself, it could always go either one way or the other.

''She'll be taking over after Jane,'' Roberta explained, and I nodded. ''I need you to show her the ropes around here.''

''No problem,'' I said and looked at Sarah. ''Have you waitered before?''

''Yes,'' she answered in a shaky voice. ''Not much, but I've got some experience.''

''I'll leave you to it,'' Roberta leaned in and whispered to me and patted my shoulder as a 'thank you', before she walked away.

I turned to Sarah. ''Okay, first off,'' I began, ''welcome to the Grill.''

She visibly relaxed. ''Thank you,'' she said quietly, looking around. ''Um... Where do you want me to start?''

I grinned, trying to come off as friendly as possible. If she was comfortable she would most likely both feel and perform better.

''You can start with relaxing. Come on, I'll show you how to work the cashier.''

* * *

The first thing I did when I got home was getting myself up the stairs and then throwing myself on the bed. I let out an unattractive grunt and closed my eyes.

''Cheers to another day,'' I mumbled to myself and rolled onto my back, sighing.

I had work tomorrow as well, three classes. Mrs. Cooper being on leave was actually a godsend. Otherwise I might just get one class a week, or even less. It was money we needed, so I only complained when I was completely worn out. I usually just... worked. I'd gotten in to this routine that had me on autopilot from morning until night, and I didn't do much else. Most of my friends were off to college and naturally, we'd lost contact. Whatever social life I had, existed only when I worked. Lucky then, that I worked every night and, at least this month, most days.

My mother was working night today, so I wouldn't see her until tomorrow. I really felt like doing something constructive, but I didn't really have the strength. There was one thing I had to do, though.

I had made it my business to, every night, sit down in front of my computer and search for... well, for my symptoms. I didn't know what else to call it. And I figured, if I searched every night, I wouldn't miss if anything new showed up. I'd done this for a few years without any luck. I still didn't know what I was.

I slid into the chair in front of my desk and rattled the mouse to get the computer out of sleep mode. When I started typing in the search engine my previously searched sentences blinked before my eyes. _Feeling what other people feel? Making people feel things. Make people cry. Make people laugh_. I cringed at especially the two later ones, but my mind didn't let me rule anything out, so I usually surveyed those kind of answers as well.

I let my eyes swipe across the screen as I searched. And searched. I sat there for I don't know how long, but when I felt like nothing would come up, my eyes were almost glued shut and I was yawning every other second.

The worst thing about me was the fact that I had to be so careful around people. I didn't even know the extent of what I could do, and I couldn't always control it. Skin on skin contact was required, but basically I just needed to poke someone to get a sense of their emotional state. Or make them feel something. It was restricting, in a way. And I didn't like not knowing why I got like this, or what it was that I actually was.

Thankfully, greeting the new girl at work today went well. It was worse if I was agitated in any way – either sad or angry, or happy even – but people still noticed if they suddenly felt differently. My guess is that it didn't feel as normal mood swings, it probably had a more instant effect.

I sighed and closed my eyes. All I ever wanted was to feel normal. If being abnormal in a normal town didn't make me feel as the ultimate pariah, then I don't know what else would. Everything in my life **but** this was as normal as could be.

Sure, Mystic Falls had it's fair share of quirkiness, and lately things sometimes seemed to have sprung out of hand, but in my mind it was still the same old, boring town. Boring, but normal. So, why couldn't I be, too?


	3. Chapter 2

**Hi again! I just wanted to give a shout out to HappyLucyLocket and say thank you for pointing that out in your review. I've updated the chapter and changed it. I really don't mind constructive criticism and you offered it in a very polite way, so thank you :) And thank you all for reading! These first chapters aren't filled with action, but I don't really want to rush into anything just yet. Even though I have scenes already written that I can't wait to get to.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''How dreadful... to be caught up in a game_

 _and have no idea of the rules.''_

Caroline Stevermer

* * *

 _BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

If I could wake every morning with the sun shining through my window and birds chirping, that would've made my early mornings so much easier. But my house was situated no where near a proper forest, and my window didn't face the way it should in order to get any sun when dawn breaked.

I could hear my mother snoring in the next room. Now, **that** was one thing I was glad I didn't inherit from her. Otherwise, I'd got pretty much the whole package. Blonde hair that was way to frizzy in the mornings, grey eyes, and, according to others, an overly caring personality. Although, I'm wasn't sure to what extent the latter was genetical.

I groaned and reached out to turn off the alarm on my phone, but only succeeded in knocking it off the bedside table.

 _BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

With my eyes half shut I disgruntledly rolled into some sort of upright position and reached down to turn the damned thing off.

 _BEEP. BEEP. BEE-_

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I slowly rose and staggered to my wardrobe. Grabbing a pair of dark skinny jeans and a white blouse, I dragged myself back to the bed and sat down with a yawn.

For a moment, I allowed myself to just stare blankly at the wall. I was really not up for this. And by this, I meant this whole day. I had two classes – one in early morning and then it was one of those god awful days when I had a free period for five whole hours. Five hours. Just thinking about it made my want to curl right back under the covers again and just call in sick.

I didn't do that, though. Somehow, I always managed to force myself out of bed and out of the house. I didn't have much motivation except for the savings my money earned me. Whatever I could scrap from what was left after contributing to the essentials, I put in a restarted college fund. That was my motivation. To get to go to school again. A part of me wanted to get out of Mystic Falls, too. Not forever, but I wanted to see other places. To be honest, anything other than the town that I hadn't stepped my foot out of would do.

After a minute or two I finally managed to get up and get dressed. My mother was a light sleeper, so I had to sneak out of the house not to wake her. As I mounted my bike I repeated a silent motivation mantra to myself, hoping it would somehow give me the strength to get through this day, too.

* * *

I spent some time after the first class to prep for the one after lunch, but when I was finished I went back to the house. When I got home, I found my mother sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee.

''Why are you up so early?'' I asked her. Her night shifts usually had her in bed until lunchtime.

She smiled at me with tired eyes. ''Couldn't sleep. There are some weirds things happening at work, again.''

''What?''

''Oh, honey, you know I can't tell you that,'' she yawned. She grabbed a grape from the fruit bowl on the table and put it in her mouth. Seconds later, she spit it out with a displeased grunt.

''There are seeds in these!''

''Sorry,'' I apologised, embarrassed. I scratched the back of my neck. ''They didn't have one's without.''

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. ''I've just had a bad night, that's all. It's okay.''

''Sorry for the... um... surprise.''

My mother chuckled and got up from her seat to put her cup in the dishwasher. ''So, were you planning on going to that masquerade thing at the Lockwoods?'' she suddenly changed the subject.

''That's like, two weeks from now,'' I frowned. ''But I guess I am, why?''

She shrugged. ''I thought maybe you'd like an outfit.''

I stared at her. ''Mum, I have some dresses...'' I trailed off uncomfortably.

She just waved me off. ''I know, I know... but I got some extra for all the overtime this month, and I figured maybe we could go shopping,'' she looked at me hopefully.

If there was one thing to say about my mother, it was that she didn't have half of what she deserved. If I thought I worked hard, that was nothing compared to her. And for some reason, maybe it was the overly caring personality trait, she had always found joy in making others happy. And I did love shopping trips.

I gave her a one armed hug. ''Okay. It sounds like fun.''

All of a sudden I felt a jolt of tiredness and a wave of stress came over me. For a short second, I didn't know why – until I realised that my mother was only wearing a tank top, with nothing covering her arms. I gasped, and shame flashed across my face.

''I'm sorry,'' I apologised quickly. ''I'm so sorry, I didn't...''

My mother looked confused, until she came to the same realisation. Her eyes filled with sympathy.

''It's alright, Evangeline,'' she consoled me.

''No, no it's not,'' I stressed and shook my head rapidly. The tiredness and stress I got from my mother was gone, but my own feelings were still there. And I felt devastated.

''It's no big deal, honey,'' my mother tried to convince me, but I wouldn't have it.

''I didn't mean to, I'm sorry...''

''Evangeline.''

''I just...'' I sighed and stared at the floor, trying to keep my eyes from welling up. Oh, god, I felt so ashamed. ''I don't want to invade. It feels like I'm invading.''

''I'm your mother,'' she said solemnly and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. ''It's okay. It happens.''

''I don't know if I want it to,'' I mumbled, still refusing to look at her. ''I can't control it.''

She sighed. ''I know, honey. I know.''

I stubbornly kept my gaze locked on the floor, but my mother lifted my head by the chin and made me look at her. Her grey eyes pierced into mine.

''It's okay,'' she repeated. ''Do you hear me?''

I nodded reluctantly. It didn't feel like it was okay, though. No matter what she said.

''Good. Maybe we can talk about something a little bit more fun?'' she suggested, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. ''About that dress...''

* * *

I had another shift at the Grill that evening. Friday's were our busiest nights, but also the nights when I'd make the most money. Around dinner time, the place would usually start to fill up with more and more people – mostly high school students.

Tonight, we had reinforcements, thankfully. I worked alongside Sarah and another waitress, Jessica. The workload was heavier than usual, for me at least, due to having to run to Sarah's aid now and then. She was a pretty quick learner, and with some experience backing her up she would get the hang of it in no time.

I was clearing off tables when I spotted Elena Gilbert coming in alone and sitting down at one of my tables. Balancing a highly stacked tower of plates, I walked on sure feet to drop everything off by the kitchen. On my way, I checked on Sarah to make sure she was okay by the cashier, and then walked over there.

''Hi, Elena,'' I greeted her.

When she looked at me, her eyes were cold. And when she smiled, it didn't quite reach her eyes. But her voice was laced with cheeriness. ''Hi!''

 _Finally!_ I cheered on the inside. ''Thanks for not calling me 'Miss Moreau','' I laughed. ''It makes me feel so old sometimes. Is there anything I can get you?''

''I'm fine, I'm just here waiting for someone,'' she claimed and smiled at me again. And again, it didn't quite reach her eyes. Something was off.

''Okay,'' I said slowly. She seemed so different. Almost too different. But it was out of my bounds to ask, so I kept myself under control. Maybe she had a falling out with Stefan, or something. ''Well, if there's anything you need, just holler.''

I went off to tend to some other customers, and when I finally had the time to glance over at her table, all I saw was her back as she got up and left. I tried to shrug it off – and would've succeeded if a certain someone hadn't walked in through the door.

I was wiping off the table Elena just had been at, for good measure, and when I turned around I looked right at Elena. Again.

''Elena?'' I asked, baffled. ''But you...''

Elena had just come in with Stefan in tow, and now they were both looking at me strangely.

''Something wrong, Miss Moreau?''

 _Miss Moreau._ I almost choked on my words, because I was seriously confused. ''Um...'' I looked from Elena to the door and back. ''You were just here? Only a minute ago.''

''I was?'' for a second, Elena looked just as perplexed as me, but then a light dawned in her eyes. She glanced at Stefan who looked at her back with a deep frown. ''Yeah, I was... sorry. I dropped my keys just outside, so I went back to get them.''

Elena and Stefan exchanged looks before Stefan turned to me with a smile. ''Yeah, she can be... forgetful.''

I shook my head. ''I'm sorry. didn't get much sleep, I guess it's catching up to me,'' I laughed nervously. _She had been wearing different clothes._ They probably thought I didn't notice, but the short second when they both let their emotions show were enough to fuel my doubt. _She didn't even have the same shoes_.

I cleared my throat uncomfortably. ''On another note, can I get you two anything?''

''A coffee and half a sub?'' Elena said and smiled kindly at me. I nodded and turned to Stefan.

''Just a glass of water, thank you.''

''No problem. Oh, and Stefan, you'll come by the teachers office on Monday?''

''Absolutely,'' he replied. ''Elena told me.''

''Good,'' I nodded.

''Thanks, Miss Moreau.''

 _Miss Moreau_. ''It's Evangeline outside of school,'' I plastered a fake grin on my face. ''I'll get right to it.''

As I went off to get their orders, I threw a quick glance over my shoulder. It was impossible. Either it was some sort of joke, or I was just tired beyond belief. I was sure of what I saw. And who I saw, wasn't the same Elena who came in only a minute after. It was probably the lack of sleep. And all the stress. Yeah, that's most likely it.

As if in a trance, I poured a cup of coffee and filled a glass with water. I made the sandwich entirely by routine, and then I sunk down on a chair by the kitchen door.

''Are you okay?''

I looked to my left and found Sarah eyeing me worriedly.

''Would you mind getting those to table five?'' I nodded towards the plate and beverages on the counter. ''I just need to sit down for a minute.''

''Okay...'' Sarah replied, uncertain. ''Are you sure you're fine?''

I nodded and forced myself to smile again. ''Yeah, thank you, Sarah.''

She gave me a concerned once-over before she went to get Elena and Stefan their orders.

''I just need a minute,'' I mumbled to myself and leaned forward to rest my head in my hands. Maybe my stressful work schedule had finally gotten to me. I knew stress could do strange things to your body, but I never expected it to happen to me.

I sat there for a while, contemplating whether or not I was beginning to go crazy, but when I hear a panic-struck Sarah call for my help at the cashier I stood up and brushed it off. At least for the moment.

* * *

When I finally got home the time was well past midnight. I trudged into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. All I wanted was to take a long hot shower and then just stumble into bed, but if I didn't get some food in my system I might just pass out before I got to that. I made a sandwich and went up the stairs to turn on the computer.

On the way to my room I took a quick look into mum's. She wasn't home yet. Her night shifts usually ended at around four or five in the morning, so she'd still be a couple of hours.

I took a bite from my sandwich and chewed pensively. I could barely keep my eyes open, but my fingers were still quick enough for keeping a decent typing pace.

 _Manipulating feelings._

 _I can manipulate people's feelings._

 _When I touch someone I feel what they feel._

After about ten minutes of restless search, I let out a heavy sigh and leaned back, finishing the last piece of bread. Nothing. I tried to not let the endless defeats get to me – but when even the infinite web couldn't provide me with any answers...

My room went dark when the screen switched off. I fumbled for my desk light and managed to turn it on, letting it shed some light in part of the room.

I actually surprised myself when I managed to take a shower **and** get out of my day clothes and into a set of pyjamas before collapsing. I think this day had resulted in more confusing events than my mind could handle. That probably helped with me instantly falling asleep, only seconds after my head hit the pillow.


	4. Chapter 3

**It really sucks when you tell yourself not to read any Elijah fanfics whilst working on this story, because you don't want to be subconsciously influenced or anything... but I really want to :/ Oh well…**

 **Thank you for all the follows, reviews and for marking this story as a favourite! As for compelling and how Evangeline fits in the vampire community, we'll get to that, don't worry! :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries (or the quotation from Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift).**

* * *

 _''Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent.''_

Arthur Conan Doyle

* * *

''Wait... so tell me again why we're reading about these little guys?''

''We're working to improve your writing skills, Mr. Johnson,'' I explained. ''That is why you 'read about these little guys'.''

Isaac looked at me with pleading, puppy dog eyes, but I ignored his little attempt to sway me and continued.

''Now, listen to this,'' I cleared my throat. '' _In the large pocket, on the right side of his middle cover (so I translate the word Ranfulo, by which they meant my breeches,) we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the pillar_...'' I trailed off.

Looking out over the class, I saw the boredom apparent on their faces – but at least they were paying attention. ''What is he describing here?''

No answer, until Stefan Salvatore reached his hand discreetly in the air.

I nodded towards him. ''Yes, Mr. Salvatore?''

''A pistol. A gun,'' he added to clarify.

''And a pistol it is indeed,'' I praised him, and then turned to the whole class. ''I want you to pick an object in this room – anything at all – and describe it in the most objective way you can. And you can't say what it is or what it's meant for. Are we clear?''

The class hummed in agreement and I felt my heart leap a little in my chest from the sound of rustling papers. It really warmed my heart – and my confidence got a sweet boost – that they did what I asked.

* * *

After class, Stefan stayed behind. ''You wanted to see me?''

''Oh, good, you remembered,'' I said and hurried to gather my things. I didn't have a lot of time in between two classes this morning, so I tried to be as straight forward I could without sounding rude. ''You've been gone a lot, lately.''

Stefan smiled apologetically. ''Yes, I know... I have been in and out of a bad cold, and there's been a lot concerning my family that I needed to... um, take part in.''

''If that's the case,'' I began, brushing some hair out of my face, ''I guess there's really nothing you can do about it? It's just been an awful lot, and I'm only thinking about you. Too much absence and you won't be allowed to graduate, you know that right?''

''Yes, I am aware,'' he said slowly. His voice seemed to stay at the same pitch, it was so leveled. He most likely knew how to talk his way out of things, that's for sure. He seemed so polite. And he was smart, I'd seen that myself, first hand, in class. And yet, he appeared to think this wasn't a problem. Which it was.

''I'll settle it,'' he promised.

''Good,'' I nodded. It still seemed somewhat strange. Nevertheless, I remained polite and offered him a reassuring smile. ''Thank you for stopping by.'' After all, I couldn't actually force him to go to school, I could only hope he would take my words into consideration.

I got back to fumbling with what papers I was supposed to bring for the next class, which, of course, the one time I had no time at all were in complete disarray. In the corner of my eye, I noticed him still standing there. ''There wasn't anything else, so you can go.''

''Okay. Oh, and by the way?'' He paused and I looked at him expectantly. ''Good choice on Swift.''

I tilted my head. ''Thank you.''

''Bye, Miss Moreau.'' He smiled politely and stepped out of the office.

''Have a nice day,'' I replied slowly. When the door shut after him, I let my mask fall and frowned. I couldn't figure him out. In class, he was the epiphany of good behaviour. And I didn't quite believe that all his absence was because of a cold, since I'd never seen him as much as sniffle. And family issues, sure, but the reasons he gave couldn't quite explain it anyway.

When I rushed off to get to class, I made a mental note to myself to go straight to the teachers office afterward, to see if there was a teacher there I could discuss this with.

* * *

I stuck my head through the door and looked around to see if anyone was there. Luckily, I found Mr. Saltzman seated at his desk, deeply concentrated on what looked like grading papers.

''Um... Mr. Saltzman?''

His head snapped up quicker than I thought it would. ''Hi, Miss Moreau.''

''Can I talk to you for a second?''

He nodded and pushed the papers away from him. ''Sure.''

I walked over to my chair and sat down a couple of feet away from him.

''Well...'' I began, not quite sure how to put it. ''You know Stefan Salvatore?''

Mr. Saltzman frowned, his brown eyes showing a hint of concern. ''Yeah? What about him?''

''He's... well, he's been missing a lot of classes. It kind of has me worried.''

Mr. Saltzman sighed. Almost in relief. ''I'm aware.''

''You...'' I spluttered in surprise. ''You're aware?''

He nodded solemnly. ''Yes.''

I wasn't sure what was out of my bounds as a substitute or not, honestly, but at the moment that wasn't really in my head. ''Well, did you ever talk to him?''

''We...'' Mr. Saltzman cleared his throat. ''We have an understanding.'' _An understanding_ , _what on earth does that mean?_

''Um... okay?''

''So you don't need to worry about it.''

''What kind of understanding?'' I pressed.

''You don't need to worry about it, Miss Moreau. Evangeline.''

Using my first name honestly only made the whole thing seem patronising, like he used the I'm-an-adult-you're-not-quite card. And if he'd made some sort of proper understanding with Stefan Salvatore, then he shouldn't want to keep it a secret. Maybe it concerned something that had him legally obligated to keep quiet, though. But my gut told me it wasn't anything like that. And I was very good at reading people. My… my powers seemed to allow me to read people somewhat, when not even touching them. The feelings that were visible. And even though Mr. Saltzman's face was hard as stone - his eyes… they were something else. He was most certainly hiding something, something that didn't have to do with the things they wanted me to believe.

To be honest, the little devil on my shoulder whispered in my ear to accidentally touch him to get a sense of him – but I knew that I couldn't use it like that. It went against everything I stood for. So I couldn't. And I wouldn't.

''Okay, then,'' I tried my hardest not to make it come out as a sigh, because that wouldn't earn me any points. ''All I did was talk to him about it. Let's hope he comes around.''

Mr. Saltzman nodded in agreement. ''Don't worry about it.''

 _I swear, if I hear one more time that I don't need to worry about it..._

I stretched the corners of my mouth into an uncomfortable smile. ''Have a good day, Mr. Saltzman.''

It was one thing for a student to – maybe – lie about his or her whereabouts, but for a teacher to do so blatantly made me both angry and confused. Call me intuitive, but something was off. I just couldn't put my finger on what it was, and why Mr. Saltzman seemed to be protecting Stefan Salvatore's interests.

* * *

''Get in!'' my mother's excited voice rang from the car across the parking lot. I shook my head and laughed. How did her voice manage to carry that strong at that distance? I jogged over to her and jumped in next to the driver's seat.

''Hi mum,'' I grinned. ''Think everyone heard you loud and clear?''

She glared at me. ''Ha ha. Ready to do some shopping?'' She said the latter with some sort of strange, almost-French pronunciation.

''You're so cool,'' I rolled my eyes.

''I know, right?'' she laughed and shook her head. ''No, but seriously. You know anything we should be on the lookout for?''

''Well... I like red, you know that,'' I said slowly, thinking. ''And blue. Just not black, please.''

''Black is off the radar,'' she proclaimed. ''You're so pretty in black, though.''

I shrugged. ''It's boring. And if we're going to spend money...''

Mum threw me another glare. ''You remember, Evangeline. No talk of finances.''

''Sorry,'' I mumbled. ''Red or blue.''

''We look good in grey, too. It goes with our eyes.''

I punched her lightly in the shoulder. ''We're not sisters, you know that right?''

My mother let out a hearty laugh. ''I know. It's true, though.''

I groaned and sank down lower in my seat. ''I know,'' I muttered.

* * *

I sighed as I went through each and every one of the dresses hanging on the rack. They were either too revealing or too old-lady like. We had an old mask that my mother had used before, which still was in good condition – and the dress had to match it as well, at least a little bit.

Shopping was fun... until you didn't find what you were looking for. I had almost gotten to the end of this particular line of dresses, when my mother called out excitedly from the other side of the rack.

''I've found it!''

I leaned up and peeked over it only to find her practically jumping up and down in excitement.

''Well, let me see it?'' I demanded and went over to her side.

It was actually really pretty. With a halter neck, a fitted waist from which a pleated skirt fell down to mid thigh; it definitely lived up to my imagination. The colour was stunning, too – and would probably make my hair look more golden than it really was. It was a dark crimson – short on any other simile; almost like the dark red colour of blood.

''I agree,'' I grinned approvingly. ''I'm going to try it on.''

''If you had said no I would have forced you,'' my mother joked.

I stuck my tongue out to her and closed the drapes on me in the closest fitting room. When I slipped into the dress, it felt like a dream. It was so soft, and hugged my waist just like the design was supposed to, and when I looked in the mirror I almost gasped.

''Mum?''

''Yes, honey?''

''I really, really like this dress,'' I admitted and spun around to look at the back of it as it reflected in the mirror.

''Oh, can I see?'' I swear, sometimes my mother could pass for a twelve year old girl.

I opened up the drapes and saw my mother's face erupting in a smile larger than mine.

''Evangline, you look beautiful.''

''Yeah, right,'' I huffed and rolled my eyes. ''But thank you.''

She smiled and gave me a big hug. ''So you want it?''

I nodded enthusiastically. ''I do.''

''Take it off then, so we can go pay for it,'' she practically sang. I let out a quiet laugh. My mother had always been a little... eccentric. To say the least. But she was happy.

''Well, get out,'' I ordered her and closed the drapes right in front of her face.

I slipped out of the dress easily and hurried to get back in my own clothes. I took a quick look around to make sure I didn't forget anything, and then went to join my mother who was already standing by the cashier.

''For the masquerade?'' the woman, Mrs. Martin, asked kindly. It was a small town, Mystic Falls. Everybody pretty much knew everybody.

''Yes,'' I nodded.

Mrs. Martin leaned over the counter and lowered her voice. ''Between you and me, Evangeline, how is my daughter behaving in school?''

I laughed. ''Just fine, Mrs. Martin. Nothing to worry about, that I know of. She's doing excellent in English.''

Mrs. Martin looked content. ''Good. Janine.'' She nodded towards my mother. ''How's everything at work?''

My mother smiled politely. ''It's work,'' she said, earning a snort from Mrs. Martin.

''Tell me about it,'' she laughed. ''You enjoy the party, Evangeline. Hope everything clears up, Janine. I'm sure you know what's been going around.''

''Yes, unfortunately,'' my mother grimaced. ''We'll sort it out.''

''I don't doubt it,'' Mrs. Martin smiled. ''Have a nice day!''

We said goodbye to Mrs. Martin and excited the shop, my mother not jumping up and down anymore.

''What was that about the hospital?'' I asked curiously. Mum had it her way that I didn't get to hear anything work-related from her, at least not anything specific.

''Something I thought wouldn't get out,'' she sighed and shook her head.

I wanted to pry deeper, but I knew that if I did, she would come at me with claws and teeth. Not literally, of course, but she was very keen on her professional secrecy, even when it might not legally apply.

* * *

After dinner that night, I spent about fifteen, twenty minutes admiring the dress that I'd hung visible on the edge of one of the bookshelves. Right now, it was probably the prettiest thing I owned, clothing-wise. The mask hung on the hanger, too. It was old, practically vintage, and was pretty simple. Dark grey, with silver threads leaping along the edges. It was like the dress and mask were made for each other, and me.

I swirled around my chair so that I faced my desk instead. The pattering of keys under my fingers was the only sound besides my mothers snoring that sounded in the whole house. The whole neighbourhood, it almost seemed. Not surprising, I hadn't gotten any reasonable hits this night either.

Maybe I should just give it up? Maybe I'd live a fuller life if I just accepted it. If I tried even harder to be normal. Wear a pretty dress to a masquerade and hang out with people, normal people, who wore pretty dresses and nice shirts. People who after they took of their extravagant masks and clothes went back to being everyday people, with everyday lives and everyday minds. Not people who, when they touched each other, could manipulate each others feelings. If I lived a lie long enough... maybe I'd believe it?

* * *

 **I'm not sure if I'll be able to post another chapter next week, I might but I'm not sure. I have it written though, so as soon as I can. But, on the bright side, we've got some action coming up! Stay tuned for the next one :)**


	5. Chapter 4

**This chapter is a lot shorter than usual, but I honestly couldn't think of making it any longer, so this is hopefully just one of few shorter ones. As promised, though, this is where the action picks up!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''Remember tonight..._

 _for it is the beginning_

 _of always.''_

Dante Alighieri

* * *

This night was not a good one. In the afternoon, the sky had exploded and it had been pouring non stop since then, and the temperature had dropped way down. Driving in this weather was probably not the best idea. I squinted to try and see the road in front of me more clearly, but it didn't help much. The rain pouring down had my windscreen wipers going crazy. I sighed. This was hopeless – but I had told my mum that I'd pick her up at work, so I obliged.

I pulled my scarf closer around my neck and buried part of my face in it for warmth, keeping my eyes on the road. The heater was broken and we hadn't gotten around to fix it, so my breath came out in puffs of smoke.

As I pulled up on the parking lot by the hospital, the downpour increased. I quickly got out and fumbled with my keys, and when I'd finally managed to lock the car I sprinted across the lot and only stopped for breath when I'd gotten through the entrance. I was leaving a nice and pretty water trail behind me, and my wet hair stuck to my face. I was not thrilled. I was supposed to meet up with my mum by the night surveillance, and that wasn't right through the main entrance. Most of the hospital staff knew me by now though, so I was let through.

It was usually the same people who took the night shifts, so the nurse seated by the desk was familiar. She lit up when she saw me approaching.

''Hi, Evangeline!'' she looked up at me under the brim of her glasses and smiled. ''You want to see your mum?''

''Uhu,'' I replied, looking around to see if I could spot her. ''I'm supposed to pick her up.''

''She's with a patient right now, but if you wait here she'll probably be only a short while.''

I nodded and sat down in a sofa by the desk. I removed my scarf and took of my jacket. It was a whole lot warmer in there compared to outside. I looked at the clock on the wall. Half past seven. I leaned back against the chair with a sigh. If I knew my mother right, she would be longer than 'a short while'. I figured I might as well make myself comfortable, so I stuffed the jacket behind my neck and closed my eyes.

The next twenty or so minutes, I spent drifting in and out of a light nap. I was only properly woken up when I heard the nurse talk loudly with someone. I yawned and opened my eyes to see what it was all about, only to find one of my English students, Caroline Forbes, standing a few metres away in a hospital gown, looking distressed.

''I-I need to go home,'' she said, taking a few staggering steps towards the desk where the nurse sat.

''Honey, what you need is to go back to bed,'' the nurse ordered and went to help her return to her room.

The blonde looked a complete mess – which was the complete opposite of how she normally looked. She was after all, the belle of this town. She was ghastly pale, her skin tight on her skull and with dark circles under her eyes. Her hair fell in limp strands down to her shoulders.

''No,'' she refused, her eyes darting all around, as if she was blinded by the sterile hospital lights. ''No, I need to go home. I have to go home.'' She rambled in a croaky voice. She really didn't look too good.

The nurse started walking up to her, but when she did, Caroline started begging her no, no, no. I looked from Caroline to the nurse and back. Maybe she would feel safer with someone she knew?

''I can walk her back,'' I offered. Caroline's eyes were immediately upon me, though, she still seemed to have trouble focusing her gaze.

''Miss Moreau,'' she whimpered. ''What are you doing here?''

''I'm here to pick up my mother,'' I replied with a warm smile. ''How about we go back to your room?''

''O-oh... o-okay,'' she stammered and nodded shakily. I kept the smile on my face and put my jacket and scarf over one arm, got up and walked over to her.

I grabbed her arm to support her, and helped her staggering form back to a room a few doors away. I made sure to grasp the fabric covering her upper arm, since the hospital gown she wore was short-sleeved. She clutched my arm so tight that it hurt, but I bit the inside of my cheek and didn't say anything.

''Is this it?'' I asked and pointed at the one door in the hall that was open. Caroline nodded meekly and she clasped her hand around my arm, digging her nails into my skin. I suffered through it though, and supported her all the way to the bed, where she sat down.

''How did you end up here, Caroline?'' I frowned.

''I-I...'' she sniffled. ''I don't remember.''

''I'm sorry,'' I consoled and looked at her sadly. She looked so lost. ''You should get some rest, okay?''

She nodded shakily. Her blonde hair fell in limp tendrils down her head, some strays etched on her teary face. ''Y-yeah.''

''If you need anything, the nurse is still right outside, okay?''

''Mhm.'' She stared blankly in front of her. Her whole body shook in tiny tremors, if they were the cause of something that put her in the hospital or her crying, I couldn't tell.

I gave her a small smile and went to leave. I was just about out the door when I suddenly heard her whimpers behind me.

''It burns,'' she cried. ''Please make it stop, it burns.''

I turned around, feeling more and more anxious as the seconds ticked by on the clock on the wall. She was sobbing quietly after saying those words, not uttering anything else. Her whole demeanour had changed in the blink of an eye.

''Do you want me to get the nurse?''

Caroline was still on her bed, but she was grasping at her throat and her breathing had started to get really heavy. Tears were streaming down her face, which was contorted in agony. ''It b-burns...'' she sobbed. ''It burns...''

I immediately went over to her and felt her forehead. She was scorching. I bent down so that I was on eye level with her. ''Caroline? I'm going to get a nurse, okay?''

She was shaking. I didn't care if she wanted me to or not, I was getting help.

''O-okay,'' she stammered and groaned in pain. ''P-please, it... it hurts so bad.''

''I'll be right back,'' I tried to comfort her and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. When I touched her, her head snapped in the direction of my hand in the blink of an eye. Her sobs quietened. And then she _sniffed_ my wrist.

''Caroline?'' I asked worriedly. ''Hey, it's going to be okay. I promise.''

And then she opened her mouth, her breaths coming out in heavy rasps. She cried out in pain.

''Caroline...'' I whispered and stared at her in fear. ''Your teeth...''

I swear, my heart stopped. When she'd opened her mouth, two... two teeth, no, not two teeth – two _fangs_ had grown out with a painful crunching sound.

''Oh my god,'' I breathed.

Caroline brought her hands to her mouth and her fingers gently touched her teeth. New tears fell like waterfalls down her cheeks. She looked at me with pleading eyes, eyes from which dark lines grew, spreading down her cheeks.

I couldn't move. I didn't know what to do, I was by fear frozen to the spot. All I could bring myself to do was stare, wide eyed, in absolute terror at what I was seeing.

Caroline's eyes zoned in on my neck, and her face was so distorted I didn't know if I was looking at Caroline or a... a monster.

''C-Caroline,'' I finally managed to get out. ''Please, calm down.''

Her eyes were still focused on the thin skin on my neck, the skin left completely bare after I took my scarf off earlier. ''I-I'm so hungry,'' she growled. My eyes widened.

And then she jumped on me. All I saw was her wild blonde hair and all I felt was a piercing pain in my neck where she... where she was _biting_ me. Biting me. A disgusting slurping sound made me think that she was actually _drinking_ my blood. I felt my body growing weaker and weaker by the second, and I fell limp in her grasp.

''Caroline,'' I tried, my voice coming out a weak whisper. ''C-Caroline, please...'' A part of me was hoping that she'd hear my pleas and stop.

She didn't.


	6. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone! I figured, since you had to wait a while for the last chapter and it came out so short, that I'd post another one a bit sooner than usual! Enjoy :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''Death is not the opposite of life,_

 _but a part of it.''_

Haruki Murakami

* * *

 _''Oh my god,'' I breathed._

 _Caroline brought her hands to her mouth and her fingers gently touched her teeth. New tears fell like waterfalls down her cheeks. She looked at me with pleading eyes, eyes from which dark lines grew._

 _I couldn't move. I didn't know what to do, I was by fear frozen to the spot. All I could bring myself to do was stare, wide eyed, in absolute terror at what I was seeing._

 _Caroline's eyes zoned in on my neck, and her face was so distorted I didn't know if I was looking at Caroline or a... a monster._

 _''C-Caroline,'' I finally managed to get out. ''Please, calm down.''_

 _Her eyes were still focused on the thin skin on my neck, the skin left completely bare after I took my scarf off earlier. ''I-I'm so hungry,'' she growled. My eyes widened._

 _And then she jumped on me. All I saw was her wild blonde hair and all I felt was a piercing pain in my neck where she... where she was biting me. Biting me. A disgusting slurping sound made me think that she was actually drinking my blood. I felt my body growing weaker and weaker by the second, and I fell limp in her grasp._

 _''Caroline,'' I tried, my voice coming out in a weak whisper. ''C-Caroline, please...'' A part of me was hoping that she'd hear my pleas and stop._

 _She didn't._

* * *

''Car-'' I gurgled in vain. She wasn't stopping. And it hurt, god, it hurt.

I don't know if you literally can feel the life draining from you, but if you can, this is how I bet it felt. It was as if I could feel my body going dry.

In a final act of desperation, I reached out and grabbed her arm, bare due to the hospital gown. All I knew what that I wanted her to stop, and I wanted her to stop right now and not be able to do it again. When my fingers came in contact with her bare skin, Caroline collapsed in a heap by my feet. I inhaled sharply. _Did I do that?_ She wasn't moving.

''Oh my god,'' I breathed, my first thought being that I'd... that I'd killed her. I didn't know if I could, so therefore, it might be possible.

I pressed one hand to my bleeding neck and kneeled beside her. When I did, I almost fell over and for a short second the room spun before my eyes. I must've lost a lot of blood. The thought of it made me feel sick. I leaned over her face, trying to feel her breath. I sighed in relief when I felt her breathing softly.

And then I went on some sort of auto-pilot. I stood up and looked around in the room for something I could use to cover up my neck. Along one side of the room, I noticed some gauze. I quickly put together a rough bandaging and grabbed my scarf and wound it around my neck to cover everything.

I looked for any possible blood splatter. Thankfully, it had mostly gotten on and around my neck. The only trace was a few drops around Caroline's mouth, but that could probably be explained by something else. Then I called the nurse.

''What happened?'' the nurse who entered the room exclaimed and rushed to her side.

''She collapsed,'' I explained meekly. ''She told me that something was hurting, and then she just collapsed.''

I honestly thought that she would see through my weak lie, but she didn't. She leaned over Caroline and examined her closely.

''I checked her breathing,'' I said quietly.

''Okay,'' the nurse stressed. ''You can go now. Please tell tell someone that I need some help in here, to get her on the bed.''

I nodded.

When I got out of Caroline's hospital room, I ran right into my mother. I staggered back, feeling faint. She was still wearing her work clothes, and looked at me sternly.

''What is this?''

''I didn't do anything,'' I said and held my hands up in defence. Well, I had – but I couldn't tell my mother about what Caroline had done now, could I?

''She needs some help,'' I nodded tiredly towards the nurse on the floor next to Caroline.

''You go wait in the car,'' she ordered me. ''I'll be right out.''

* * *

Right out, in my mother's terms, meant twenty minutes. I sat in the car, just staring straight ahead of me. Into nothing.

I couldn't comprehend what had just happened. I couldn't make any sense of it. God, I wasn't even really sure if it'd happened or not! I reached up and gingerly touched my neck. The scarf was soaked through. I grimaced and pressed my hand against it, gasping at the sudden jolt of pain. Thankfully, the scarf was dark enough so that it wasn't really visible. It could pass for rain, for all I knew.

I closed my eyes, humming lowly to myself. It didn't calm me down one bit. All I could see – it didn't even matter if my eyes were closed or not – was Caroline's razor sharp teeth and monstrous face. What was she? How was it even possible for someone to... to grow fangs like a vampire and bite someone?

 _Vampire_.

I tried to shake it off, but I couldn't. _Vampire_. That word was all my mind would think of, over and over again. _Vampire. Vampire. Vampire._

''Oh god,'' I choked and felt bile in my throat. I threw the car door open despite the rain, and collapsed by the side of the car – my body convulsing, but nothing came up. I felt tears forming in the corner of my eyes, and I pursed my lips to keep myself from crying. ''Oh, oh, oh,'' I moaned in agony. Both physical and psychological. I had no idea if were I was was someplace real or if I was dreaming. I must've been dreaming, because things like that doesn't happen. The belle of the small town isn't a vampire and she doesn't attack you and feed from your neck.

There was also the matter of me making her go unconscious. I didn't know how that happened. I just wanted her to stop, and I was so scared that all I could think of was wanting her gone, away from me.

I had to try and get myself together, though. If my mother came out and saw me like this, I wouldn't know how to cover it up. My breath was ragged, but I tried to calm myself down and breath at a normal pace. It helped me off the ground and back in the car, at least. But there was no way that I could drive home in this state. Absolutely not.

Suddenly I heard someone pulling on the car handle. I jumped and almost screamed, but when I heard my mothers voice I relaxed a little.

''Ah, finally,'' my mother slid into the passengers seat with a heavy sigh. ''Let's go home.''

Her not mentioning what just had happened wasn't a surprise. As soon as she left work, she made sure not to speak a word of it. That's just who she was.

When I didn't say anything, I could feel her eyes on me. ''Why aren't you buckling up?'' She sounded surprised.

I took a deep breath. ''You know what... do you mind if you drive?'' I asked hopefully, my head spinning. ''I feel kind of faint.''

My mother looked at me, her forehead creased in sudden worry. ''Are you okay?''

I hesitated, but shook my head. ''Not really. Caroline...'' I gulped. ''Caroline collapsing like that really scared me.''

I really didn't like lying to her like that. But if I didn't even believe myself, then why would anyone else?

''Sure honey,'' she smiled at me reassuringly, then got out to switch places with me. When she'd started the car and put her seatbelt on, she turned to me again. ''I'm sorry you had to see that.''

I just nodded. I had trouble getting words out, to be honest.

''If you want to talk about it...''

''No. I mean,'' I sighed shakily, ''not now.''

''Okay.''

The rest of the car ride home was spent in silence, the only sound being the rain smattering against the windscreen. Just like the night had begun.

* * *

When we were home, I hurried as fast as I could on my shaky legs to the bathroom. I turned the lock and sat down with my back against the door.

I brought my trembling hands up in front of me. I whimpered at the sight of my blood stained skin. I didn't know what to do. Tears welled in my eyes again and I brought my knees up and buried my face in them, shaking from silent sobs.

I sat there crying until I'd run out of tears. My neck throbbed painfully, and I constantly let out small whines of pain and confusion, because even though I wasn't as dizzy anymore, the world around me didn't seem steady.

I put my hands on the floor and pushed myself up, staggered over to the sink. I turned the tap on, and tried to ignore the red water running down the drain. When I looked up and saw myself in the mirror, I froze.

Staring back at me were a pair of glazed blue eyes. Empty eyes. I almost looked like Caroline. Ghastly pale skin, eyes sunk into the skull and my golden blonde hair had lost whatever vibrance it'd had before.

The scarf was still tied around my neck. I was scared to remove it, but I knew I had to. I took a deep breath to try and calm down, and then began to unwind it slowly. When I got to the last piece, my homemade compression, I pried it off and let out a yelp. When I saw my neck reflect in the mirror, the urge to throw up came back stronger than before.

''Oh god...'' I whined and felt my breathing increase. ''Oh god, oh god.''

Although most of my skin was smudged in blood, you could clearly see two distinct puncture wounds where Car... where she had bit me. The bleeding had stopped. My guess was that the artery hadn't been punctured, otherwise it would all have ended so much worse.

I began rummaging the cupboard under the sink for disinfectant and some sort of bandaid or bandage I could use. We kept all of those things packed in a first aid kit, and I found some cotton wipes there, too. I soaked some in water first, and went to clean of the blood first. I was sore, but it didn't hurt to much. Maybe my body put its efforts into other things than the feeling of pain.

When all the blood was gone, the teeth marks were even more apparent. I lifted my chin up and examined them, until I couldn't anymore. I decided that I should just get this over with, and then it would hopefully all be gone in the morning. I put some disinfectant on a wipe and begrudgingly brought it closer to my neck. I hissed when it came in contact with my skin, but dabbed it carefully anyway.

A minute or two later, I was still in front of the mirror staring at my reflection, but my neck was clean and bandaged. I guess I'd have to wear scarves every day for a while. I stared blankly at myself. I felt completely lost. And helpless.

Grabbing my bloody scarf, much to my disgust, I put it around my neck again and left the bathroom. I heard my mother downstairs in front of the TV, probably watching one of her reality shows. They never seemed to end.

I went to my room, ditched the scarf in the trash bin and dug up another out of my wardrobe. I put it on, just in case my mother came up. I went over to my desk and sat down. My fingers hesitated over the keyboard. Only one word echoed through my mind. _Vampire_. But, that wasn't why I was sitting there searching. I wasn't that stupid that I had to google the words fangs, drink and blood; only to come up with what I already knew. Who hasn't heard of vampires?

I still felt sick to my stomach. It was like I constantly was on the edge of throwing up and passing out at the same time. But I forced myself through my nightly routine anyway. And, as usual, nothing.

I knew that I probably just should go to bed. But when I lay there, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't. There was a hammering pain in my neck, maybe from the shock wearing of, and all I could think and see was _vampire_.

I hit myself in the head, my helplessness presenting itself in frustration and anger. And fear. God, I was terrified. And all at the same time, I didn't really feel like... like I knew what I was feeling? It was as if I was numb yet not, simultaneously.

I sighed heavily, my eyes dry from crying so much. Turning on my side, I changed my normal sleeping position so that I was facing the door instead. For a few seconds I lay with open eyes, staring... waiting. Scared of what might come through the door.

All in short, I didn't get much sleep that night...


	7. Chapter 6

**Hi everyone! Thank you for all the reviews and follows! Here's the next one...**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him.''_

Frank Herbert

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I saw the ceiling above me like I did every morning. Every normal morning. I felt like I was waking up to a day just like any other – groggy, tired, and with the one wish to just go back to sleep again.

For a blissful moment, my only thought was that this day wasn't going to be any different from the rest of them. That was, until I yawned and stretched out my body, and a throbbing pain made itself known in my neck.

I froze. No. No, that wasn't... I brought my hand up and touched my neck, only to find a coarse bandage instead of smooth skin. I quickly reached out for my phone on the nightstand, and dropped it once on my stomach before I got a good enough grip with my trembling hands.

The screen was too dark for me to see anything, so I turned on the front camera. My frowning face looked back at me, neck all covered up. Maybe I was still asleep. I pinched myself hard in the arm, wincing, but nothing happened.

Did last night really happen? _It couldn't have._

It felt so strange, like I'd dreamed the whole thing - but the fact that my neck bandaged told me otherwise. _It couldn't have happened, though._

Somehow, I pushed the thought away. I had to get up if I was going to finish preparing everything and then getting to school on time. I slowly heaved myself up, feeling sore all over. I was so tired. Slowly sliding my legs across the edge of the bed and placing my feet on the floor, I remained sitting for a minute.

I rubbed my eyes and yawned. At least everything around me wasn't spinning anymore. The dress for the masquerade was still hanging on my wardrobe, and I silently prayed that my wounds would've healed by then. It was after all only about a week away. I pushed myself off the bed and walked on stiff legs into the bathroom in the hallway. Locking the door behind me, I then turned to the sink to wash off my face.

When I looked up in the mirror, my face was pale and my skin was tightly stretched across my bones. Tiny droplets of water ran down my cheeks and forehead, and I grabbed a towel to wipe it off. I'd never seen myself looking so tired before.

I only threw a quick glance at my neck. Last night felt surreal, and I intended to keep it that way. Maybe it had something to do with my abnormal stress-levels. _Because things like that don't happen._

Normally, I wouldn't wear too much makeup, but today I didn't even care about the littlest things. All I cared about was keeping the memory of yesterday night locked away tight in the furthest corner of my mind, and getting through the day. _It didn't happen. It didn't. It couldn't have..._

I finished up in the bathroom and went back into my room to put on some clothes. Dressing had never been so excruciatingly tiring. My whole body was limp – when I went to lift my arms and do something, they were weak and shaky. I muttered under my breath. This was hopeless.

Standing up with a yawn, I then trudged out of my room. The door to my mothers room was open, and when I went down the stairs and into the kitchen I realised that she would already have left for work. I poured myself a glass of milk and grabbed an apple. I knew that, because of yesterday, I probably should eat more – but I had not appetite. None whatsoever. Just thinking about eating made me cringe... but I forced the milk and apple down anyway. My body needed something to run on.

I had two classes today, and if I could skip them, I would. The same with my shift at the Grill later that night. But money was money, and I needed it. What made matters worse was that I didn't have a car, which meant I had to ride my bike. Maybe I shouldn't drive like this, even though the bike felt much less appealing. As long as I could stand on two feet, I should manage... Somehow, I always did.

When I went outside, the weather was completely different from last night. The sun was out, and it was warm... which meant an even worse ride to school. And on top of that, all my moving around had triggered a massive headache. I pursed my lips. This day was not going to be a good one.

* * *

Riding my bike to school that day was probably one of the worst things I'd been through physically. Trying to keep your eyes open with a stabbing headache and stay on a wobbly bike when your whole body pretty much was like jelly, that wasn't easy.

And I got a few strange looks from the students when I entered the classroom, probably because I always tried to be as chipper and welcoming as possible, for the sake of a good classroom environment. Right now, though, I could only bring myself to offer them a weak smile and a 'hello'.

I would usually stand, or lean against the table, when starting up or talking in front of a class, but I sat down. My legs could barely keep me up after that bike ride.

''Alright...'' I mumbled, trying to sort my thoughts somewhat coherent. ''We're still working on a writing assignment, yeah?'' I got some scattered yes's from around the room.

''Then let's continue with those today. Does everyone have something to do?''

When I looked up at them, they all nodded, or at least acknowledged it in some way. Both Stefan and Elena were in class, I noticed. But not Caroline. I'd told myself to push it back, what a good job I was doing... I swallowed, and felt my heart rate increase only by thinking about it. Stefan was frowning at me from his seat, and I noticed Elena glancing worriedly at him, looking for an answer. When my tired eyes met his, he didn't look away immediately. He studied me, almost calculating, until he let his gaze wander off.

The next fifty minutes were tormenting. I was sitting there in my chair, on the verge of falling asleep, only kept on my toes by the questions I would get from time to time. No one asked me what was wrong though, and I was thankful for that. Of course they noticed, I could tell, because they were awfully quiet – all of them. They were not a loud group, but occasional there could be occasional chatter and there wasn't anything wrong with that. But for the whole hour, you could hear a pin drop. If that was because they were uncomfortable because I was acting so strange, or just them acting out of compassion or politeness, I didn't know.

I managed to survive. When the clock struck twelve, I told them in a low voice that barely held itself in the room, that they were free to go. They emptied the classroom as quietly as they had been working, and I honestly think that they all actually **lifted** their chairs for once.

I noticed Stefan lagging behind. Elena stood by the door for a while, looking at him expectantly, but after an exchanged glance she nodded and went outside to wait.

''Miss Moreau,'' Stefan said. ''I'm sorry, but you don't look okay.''

And here I thought no one would comment. I sighed internally, preparing to come up with some credible lies to tell.

''Just a bit tired, that's all.''

''Is that a new scarf?'' he suddenly asked and pointed to the red thing around my neck.

''Not new,'' I answered faintly, ''but it's cold today so I figured I'd break a rule on outside wear in the classroom.''

''Okay...'' he trailed off, not sounding the least bit convinced. I would probably not have bought it, either. It wasn't cold enough outside that you had to wear a scarf.

''I'm just feeling a bit off, that's all,'' I tried to cover up my small mishap. ''Maybe it's a cold or something.''

He nodded, his dark eyes piercing into mine, darting to my neck and back. ''I hope you feel better soon.'' His smooth voice sounded reassuring, but his eyes told me otherwise. He was worried about something. What?

''Thanks,'' I replied. I honestly just wanted to avoid all people today, and right now I really, really wished he would leave. I thought he would too, but for some reason his eyes wouldn't leave mine. Maybe I was imagining things – hey, I was pretty sure that's all I did these days – but his eyes seemed to go darker... deeper.

''What happened to you?'' he asked, his voice gentle, but calculating. Like he was trying his hardest to convince me to tell him why I wore a scarf.

''I told you,'' I repeated slowly, confused. _Nothing happened. It couldn't have._

He looked taken aback, but quickly collected himself. ''Yes... yes, of course. My bad. I'll see you around,'' he smiled politely, and left. I was still frowning as I watched his retreating back. What was that all about?

I sighed in relief when the door closed behind him. I fished my phone out of my pocket to get a glimpse of my appearance again. When I saw my reflection, I froze. The fabric didn't cover everything. Just above the red lining, a piece of something white was peeking out.

The way Stefan had been eyeing my neck told me that he couldn't possibly have missed that. I quickly wrapped it tighter around my neck, hopefully that would hold it up. I would most likely only need this bandage today, anyway. Then I could take it off and the scarf would cover everything a lot better. _Cover up what couldn't have happened._

Now I just had to make it through one more class and then work later on. I could do that without completely falling apart, couldn't I?

* * *

Before I'd left for work at the Grill that night, I had taken a quick look in the hallway mirror to make sure the scarf was wrapped tightly and didn't show anything. _If nothing happened, why is there something to hide?_ I tried to shake myself rid of the thought, but it sent chills down my spine.

The warmth in the restaurant and around the kitchen and bar area had me sweating like nothing else. But I couldn't take it off, so I had to just bite through it.

At least Sarah was completely independent now. She was handling orders and payments like she'd been here for a year. We'd actually gotten kind of close. It was nice to have something in the likes of a friend again – a friend that was closer to my age than most of the other co-workers I had. She had an overwhelming amount of customers right now though, since her tables were packed with larger groups.

''Hey, could you help me get these to table seven please?'' she begged me, her arms packed with trays. She nodded towards another two on the counter.

''Sure.'' Balancing two trays was not problem. I tried to take it as easy as possible, since I wasn't too keen on the thought of falling down in a heap of glass, metal and food. I didn't trust my body right now, so I decided not to push it.

When I got back to the area behind the bar, I noticed Mr. Saltzman sitting there with a glass of scotch. He was tracing the brim of the glass with a finger, looking deep in thought. I went past him to put away some dishes, when I heard him call my name out softly.

''Miss Moreau.''

I finished what I was doing and turned around. ''Mr. Saltzman. Hi.'' I wiped some sweat of my brow and balanced myself on my tired legs. If there was one thing I was good at, it was enduring tiredness. I would say that I'd been through worse, but I guess that wasn't true.

I noticed how his eyes went to the red thing around my neck and then back to my eyes.

''You never wear scarves,'' he frowned, then cleared his throat. ''I mean... I've noticed.'' At least he was aware of what was coming out his mouth. I took notice of the empty glasses next to him. Well, he must've had a bad day. And now he was a little bit too honest for his own good.

I pulled at the scarf around my neck, pressing it closer to me. ''Yeah, well, I'm in a phase.'' It was an attempt at a joke, but he didn't get it. ''I'm just cold, that's all,'' I continued meekly.

Mr. Saltzman looked at me like he didn't quite believe my lies. I never said I was a good liar, especially not when I hadn't had time to think through what to say.

''Cold?'' he echoed. No one could be cold in here, and he knew it.

''I'm sorry, but I have to get back to work,'' I told him, trying my hardest to get away. My mind was foggy enough, I didn't need all these questions hurled at me.

At least the alcohol hadn't thrown him completely off. He was sober enough to back off, which was a huge relief. Because I couldn't deal with anymore of this... Why were they all so concerned about the scarf?

''Could you get me another one of these?'' Mr. Saltzman hollered to my co-worker working the bar. Then he turned to me again. ''Make sure you look out for yourself.''

I frowned. ''Um... okay. Thank you?'' It came out more a question than a simple exchange of gratitude. He just nodded at me, before he went back to his drink.

He spent a lot of time there, I realised. But he never drank too much. Or maybe he just had a high tolerance... but who was I to judge. I sighed. The thing that itched was Mr. Saltzman and Stefan Salvatore's relationship. The way Mr. Saltzman seemed to let things slide a bit too often. And then the fact that the two of them were the only ones who'd commented on my scarf. That actually made me feel a bit uneasy. Did they know something? _Something about the thing that couldn't possibly have happened, you mean._

* * *

Mr. Saltzman didn't talk to me anymore that night. I swear though, I could feel his eyes on me the whole time he sat there. Maybe an hour, or two. I'd tried to ignore him as best I could.

When the clock finally struck ten, I bolted right out to my locker and grabbed my things. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I was so tired that I decided to simply use my bike for support, and then walk home. It wouldn't come as a surprise if I'd end up seeing doubles anytime soon.

I finally got home about fifty minutes later. That's how slow I was. Normally, walking would take half of that time. The car wasn't in the driveway when I got there, so mum wasn't home. That was a relief, in a way; I wouldn't have to talk to anyone or explain anything. She rarely pried, but still.

I put away my bike and dragged myself up on the porch. My keys jingled when I put them in the lock, and I turned them until I heard a click. Stepping over the threshold, I stretched my hand out to turn on the lights.

All I wanted was to go straight to bed, and I did. For the first time in forever, I didn't follow my strict routine of searching online. Well in my room, I collapsed on my bed fully clothed. And when I lay there, I was too tired to move – and I almost immediately drifted off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, I've started a new internship that takes up SO much time and I've been ill too, so I've just been buried in work. I'm not sure if I'll be able to update each week for the next month or so, but I'll try my best... Anyway, enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''Oh, monsters are scared,'' said Lettie.''That's why they´re monsters.''_

Neil Gaiman

* * *

Every year, students at Mystic Falls High School put together a carnival. That meant organising booths, getting rides up – like tea cups or bumpy cars – and planning different competitions. The school had been buzzing all day, because after twelve they were all let off early and most of them engaged in getting it all ready in one way or another.

Having just half a day at school made most of them restless and eager to just get out as soon as possible. I was in the middle of teaching history at about eleven thirty or so, and I could tell that most of them weren't really paying attention to anything other than the clock on the wall behind me.

''You know what, guys,'' I sighed and looked at them. ''You can go.''

Two guys in the back fist-bumped each other, and a couple of students in the front smiled thankfully at me.

''Thanks, Miss Moreau,'' I got a few replies as they pulled their chairs out, a bit too screechy for my liking.

''No problem,'' I assured them. To be honest, I wanted to get out of there as well. They all emptied the classroom quicker than quick, and I took my time gathering my books and folders. I took one last look around the classroom to see if I'd missed anything, and then I locked the door behind me when I left.

When I walked from the classroom to the teacher's office, passing students chatting and rummaging through boxes with decorations, I noticed Stefan Salvatore leaning up against the lockers next to Elena's little brother, Jeremy Gilbert. They were talking.

As I passed them by, the words I heard coming out of Jeremy's mouth made my heart drop.

''What, like a stake to the heart?''

Maybe I'd heard him wrong. Maybe... maybe my mind was just playing tricks on me, and forming sentences that it wanted to hear. Upon getting to a crossing corridor a bit further up, I threw a quick glance over my shoulder. Now, Elena had come up to them with a notepad in hand. She was in charge of the planning committee for the carnival, which obviously spooked her younger brother, because he left in a hurry.

I told myself that I must've hear it wrong. That's when, somehow, Stefan's eyes found me looking at them. He met my gaze and frowned. I quickly looked away, and walked off, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling that seemed to stay with me constantly.

* * *

I decided to go home in between. I wasn't really involved in the planning committee in any way, like some of the teachers were.

When I got home, the first thing I did was check our mailbox. I should've gotten my pay slip for this month. I rummaged through the advertisement stuff and a bunch of envelopes addressed to my mum, until I found one with my name on it.

I practically ran inside and threw everything else on the kitchen table, grabbed a letter opener from one of the drawers and opened it. I scanned what it said, and let out a sigh of relief when I saw the amount at the bottom. This was a good month – which meant that I could put away a larger sum than usual in my savings account.

Putting the paper down, I walked up to the fridge. I felt like making pancakes. A quick look told me we had everything, so I didn't need to run to the store, thankfully. I quickly made the batter and when I stood by the stove frying, I fished my phone out of the pocket of my jeans and flipped through the news. Nothing out of the ordinary. I was in the middle of reading about how some reality star my mum liked had set fire to a yacht when my phone pinged.

 _17 by the parking lot?_

It was a message from Sarah. She and I had gotten closer at work, and we'd decided to go to the carnival together later today. We seemed to be working just about as much as each other, so we talked a lot at work. She was about my age, and it was nice to have someone to talk to again. Someone I could call a friend. To be honest, I hadn't really had one since I graduated.

 _Yes!_

I quickly texted her back and then placed my phone on the counter to flip the pancake. As usual, I made way too many for just one person. But pancakes... I could stuff myself with those. And today was a stuff yourself day, I'd decided. I would probably have to lie down on the couch for an hour or so before I could go and meet up with Sarah, though.

* * *

Later that day, I was walking around the carnival with Sarah. The student's really had done a great job; there were booths of all sorts, different rides, and even a big ferris wheel. The commitment and drive of some of the kids in this town had me both totally impressed and a bit creeped out at the same time.

''Anything in particular you want to check out?'' I asked her. She had her hair out, and some make up on her face. When I first met her, I couldn't have guessed that she was actually very outgoing. And girly... and sometimes she had no filter. Which could be both hilarious or completely embarrassing.

''Well...'' the tone in her voice and the twinkle in her her brown eyes told me that this was one of those moments when she was about to say something... well, candid.

She looked at me mischievously and I think she kind of blushed. ''Let's go find the Lockwood guy.''

If I had a drink in my mouth I would probably have choked on it. Sarah grabbed my arm, thankfully not my _hand_ , and dragged me off alongside the booths. I said hi to a few students and other people from town I knew but that was all I had time for, as Sarah insisted on completing this mission of finding Tyler Lockwood.

When we passed a table surrounded by a bunch of cheering people, Sarah suddenly stopped. She let go of my arm and I rubbed it soothingly, glaring at her. She didn't seem to notice.

''What is it?'' I asked, trying to follow her eyes to what she was so interested in.

Over by the wrestling club we noticed, the one and only, Tyler Lockwood, and a bunch of guys lining up to beat him at arm wrestling, it seemed.

I noticed Sarah eyeing him with eyes big as saucers. ''Of course,'' I chuckled. ''So you like him?''

''He's hot.''

I sniggered. ''How old are you?''

''Not too old,'' she answered firmly. I just laughed and shook my head. She was actually just a year younger than me, so there wasn't much of a difference.

Tyler beat anyone who had the courage to arm wrestle in front of that big a crowd. All that guy seemed to do was work out. Suddenly, a man came up to him and placed himself on the opposite side of the table. It looked like they knew each other.

''Who's that?'' I leaned in to ask Sarah. I hadn't seen him before.

''I think that's his uncle,'' she answered, in a failed attempt to sound like she had to think about it for a second.

''You know that's his uncle,'' I laughed. She smiled sheepishly and mumbled something incoherent, but I let it slide.

Tyler and his, apparently, uncle, locked hands and even from this distance I could see the veins in their arms. Tyler face was contorted in concentration, and his arm bobbed up and down. Eventually it hit the table.

''Huh,'' I let out a surprised sound. ''Seems they've got the same genes?''

''He beat Tyler.'' Sarah shrugged. ''He's still hot.''

It seemed as if the Lockwood uncle was the king of the hill now, as he asked if anyone wanted to go up against him. I guessed most people figured that if Tyler was pretty much unbeatable, then his uncle was an impossible task.

''Oh, Stefan wants a go!'' I suddenly heard someone shout.

Damon Salvatore. Now that was a guy I'd rather not hang around with. I didn't know too much about him, but occasional run-ins and the time when he'd hung around school for Caroline had been enough for me. I didn't like him that much. He was rude, full of himself and just not very nice. It didn't matter if you hadn't even met him before, and he'd be a complete douche to you.

He stood next to his brother a couple of feet to my left, and at first Stefan looked like he wanted to nothing else but punch him, but he walked up to the table anyway.

''Get him, Stef!'' Damon shouted. His brother looked at him exasperated.

''All right, you want to leave?'' I asked her, not really keen on staying and watching the Salvatores. ''If you're done ogling, that is.''

''Sadly,'' she frowned, but a smile quickly found its way on her face and she let out a small laugh.

When we walked off, I could've sworn that I felt Stefan's eyes burn holes in my back. I still didn't have him figured out, and it bugged me. But the carnival and Sarah quickly helped me get all the pondering thoughts out of my head.

There really wasn't a whole lot to look at, so we got through the whole thing pretty quick. I suggested that we should go on the ferris wheel though, so that we'd done and seen everything. And maybe I wanted to contribute a little to the school after all that the students had put into this carnival. It really was amazing.

''Have you got someone?'' Sarah asked when the machinery rattled to life and we slowly went up to the top of the wheel.

''Huh?'' I looked at her perplexed.

She poked my arm. ''You know. A guy. Or a girl, for that matter.''

''Nope,'' I clasped my hands together tightly in my lap, suddenly feeling really uncomfortable.

''Anyone you like?'' she pressed curiously. Another thing about Sarah, she was a bit of a gossip. But not in a bad way, she was just... very curious. I guess this was just a way for her to get to know me a bit better, and I didn't blame her for it. But that didn't mean that I had to answer.

''You really can see a lot from up here...'' I mumbled and turned my head to look around us.

Sarah laughed. ''Okay, if that's how you want it. I won't ask.''

We sat in silence for a second.

''Are you planning on studying something, or do you want to do something else?'' I asked her.

She shrugged. ''I don't know, to be honest. Right know, I'm just working. I'm not sure what I want to do yet. How about you?''

''Well,'' I began, not really knowing how to put it. I mean, I liked Sarah, I did, but I rarely trusted people with some parts of my life. Like how my college fund was depleted before I turned eighteen and how I was trying my hardest to save up and at the same time help my mum.

Clearing my throat, I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. ''I'm not really sure yet, either. I've thought about it, but I figured I might as well work until I find something I want to do.''

Sarah nodded understanding. ''I get what you mean. It's so hard though!''

''Mhm,'' I hummed, grateful that she bought it. I just didn't like talking about it. Talking about crushed dreams – not my forte.

We got of the ferris wheel, and Sarah said she had to use the restroom. We were going to walk home together – at least part of the way. She lived about fifteen minutes away, a lot closer than me.

I strolled casually by the line ups of pop corn, cotton-candy and all kinds of different sweets. I smiled at some people I knew passing me by, otherwise I kept a bit to myself, just taking it all in again.

I was in the middle of giving a longing look to a box of chocolates when I noticed something in the corner of my eye. I turned my head, not really sure what it was that my brain had registered. I scanned the area trying to figure it out. All I saw were people chatting, playing games and...

Then, suddenly, a flash of something blonde. I blinked. I thought I might've imagined it, but no, it was still there. My heart skipped a beat. In the crowd in front of me, I saw a blonde head that looked all too familiar. And I saw Matt Donovan. Which meant...

Her eyes were darker than usual. Not just the fact that she had put on more aggressive make up, but even from here I could tell that her eyes were dark. She looked troubled, and Matt tried to talk some sense into her – but she turned on her heel and left.

My breath hitched in my throat. Caroline. Caroline Forbes. I stared wide-eyed at the spot by Matt where I'd seen her. She obviously wasn't there anymore, but every time I blinked I saw blonde hair before me.

I didn't think, I just rushed off to get away from all the commotion. I wanted to get home, lock myself up safely and throw my cozy and warm covers over me, and then I wanted to stay like that. Safe. I took a few long strides and before I knew it I'd left all the sounds of the carnival behind me.

But when I'd gotten away from all of that, it suddenly didn't seem like such a good idea – because now I was all alone – and I'd just about changed my mind, when I heard someone crying.

I squinted my eyes and tried to make out any silhouettes, and noticed someone leaned their head against a tree a few metres from me. ''Hey, are you okay?'' I called out, my voice shaking. Without any lights, it was kind of dark, so I couldn't see who it was from this distance.

''Go away,'' the person wailed. It was a girl, or, at least it sounded like it.

I approached her slowly. ''Should I get someone?''

The girl continued her crying, but when I put my foot down and got a step closer to her, she snapped her head in my direction.

''I said, go away!''

I couldn't breathe. A chill ran down my spine and I stared at her in disbelief.

''Miss Moreau?'' she whimpered, and then that whole night came back to me. All of it. I backed away slowly, not letting my eyes leave her. I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn't see her coming.

''What are you?'' My voice cracked. I think that I might've been too shocked to cry.

Then it looked almost as if a light dawned in her eye. ''You remember?'' she breathed, her voice ragged, and looked terrified. _She_ looked terrified? Why would she look terrified when she was the one who... who...

She suddenly changed from a huddling, bawling, petite little thing to completely confident as she walked briskly up to me. Her eyes locked on mine and I shied away in fear. ''Forget what happened.''

I frowned. ''W-wha...''

For a short second, she looked surprised. Then she went back to looking scared to death, and all that confidence that had oozed off of her disappeared immediately.

''Forget. What. Happened.'' She repeated herself and looked like she was ready to kill me. Her voice was desperate.

''Forget,'' she said angrily through gritted teeth.

''Leave me alone,'' I hissed and backed away further.

''Why isn't it working?'' she screamed and grabbed her head in between her hands, turning away from me. She collapsed in sobs again.

''Who's there? Are you alright?'' I suddenly heard a voice shout from afar.

My body was on full escape alert. Now someone else was there, and I couldn't decide if I was overjoyed that he or she might help me get out of here, or panicked that they might suffer the same fate I would. Caroline could kill me.

''Hello?'' the voice sounded again, closer this time. I turned my head towards the direction I'd heard it from for a second. Behind me, I heard a faint _whoosh._ When I looked back, Caroline was gone.

''Evangeline?''

''Sarah?'' I said in relief. I tried not to let the tears fall now that part of the shock had worn out.

And then Sarah appeared before me. Her brown eyes locked on mine. ''Who screamed?''

''Um...'' I was terrible at coming up with lies on the spot. Absolutely terrible. ''I did. I fell.''

She frowned at me. ''What are you doing here? I thought you'd wait for me by the candy booth?''

''Yeah, well...'' my voice felt so fragile and meek. I cleared my throat, and tried to shake the fear of me, but it didn't really work. My body was still on edge. ''You were taking so long so I figured I'd warm up and stretch my legs. I was just about to go back there.''

I didn't think Sarah bought it, but at least she didn't say anything. We started walking home, and after a minute or two she started up a conversation and I had no trouble keeping up with her. It felt so normal talking to her that I almost forgot what had just happened. But the way my subconscious kept on making me throw glances over my shoulder every few metres that we walked, reminded me that everything wasn't normal. Caroline was still out there. And I had no idea what I was in the middle of. Absolutely no idea. And it scared me to death.

* * *

 **Okay, I think I can say that the countdown to chapter E can officially begin…. Someone in particular will soon make his first appearance!**


	9. Chapter 8

**Yay, I got a chapter up! Thank you for all the follows and kind reviews, it really makes my day :)**

 **(To answer a review, and maybe if anyone else have thought the same – Evangeline simply looked at the attendance list to get an idea of how often every student had been there, if there was someone who was absent frequently and so on, in order to get an overview)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''And I got out of there without punching anyone, kicking anyone, or breaking down in tears._

 _Some days the small victories are all you achieve.''_

\- Molly Ringle

* * *

''Why are you wearing that scarf?''

I tried my hardest not to glare at him. Good or bad, I'd inherited my mothers compassion. I always had to treat people as I wanted to be treated myself, always as nicely as possible. ''Why do you ask?''

I tried to recollect any time, any time at all, when I'd ever spoken a word to Damon Salvatore. His brother came off as nice enough, but the elder Salvatore was crude, full of himself and a bit too much of a... well, douche, for my taste. From what I'd heard and seen from afar, he wasn't the nicest person to be around. And now, he just randomly came up to me and asked me about the scarf. He wouldn't do that if he didn't knew something. Maybe his brother asked him to, so that he could see if Damon would get an answer out of me.

I couldn't for the life of me figure out why they were so persistent, though. Did they know about... about vampires? I didn't want to bring that up again, because it still felt like a distant dream, a haze – something that I still couldn't decide if it was real or not.

''Oh, just wondering.'' His smile was more of a sneer, to be honest. I didn't trust him.

He leaned over the counter and locked his eyes on mine. He had the same look in his eyes as Stefan had before, but he wasn't trying to cover it up.

''You sure you don't want to share?''

''Oh, for the love of...'' I muttered, but stopped myself. ''Yes, I'm sure. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some tables to tend to.''

''If you say so, honey.''

I cringed. Ignoring him as best I could, I went to collect dishes from some tables. I noticed Elena at one of Sarah's tables, deeply concentrated on reading a book. When I went back with trays packed on my arms, Damon suddenly brushed past me and threw me off my feet.

I waited for a _clang_ but it never came.

''Sorry 'bout that,'' his honey sweet voice rang as he gently placed the tray I was sure would've hit the floor, on my arm.

''Thanks,'' I mumbled and quickly stepped away from him. He winked at me and then went over to sit by Elena – who like me looked anything other than happy about it.

I'd been in a bad mood all day – all week, really – and being harassed by Damon Salvatore about the same thing as every one else seemed to ask me about didn't make it better, not one bit. Lucky for the customers, they weren't many, so they were spared my fake smile and strained pretending-to-be-happy voice.

''Ev!''

I turned around and found Pete from the kitchen looking expectantly at me with a box in his hands. He reached it out to me. ''Give this to Damon Salvatore, will ya?''

My shoulders slumped in defeat. Just my luck. ''What is it?'' I frowned.

''Peach cobbler.''

''Um... okay,'' I said tentatively.

That was the first time Damon Salvatore had ordered anything other than liquor, to my knowledge. And I spent quite a lot of time at the Grill. So forgive me if Damon Salvatore ordering _a peach cobbler_ came off as a bit strange.

I hurried to the table were Damon and Elena sat and put the box in front of him quickly, avoiding any possible hand-to-hand contact.

''Perfect, thank you,'' he said, and actually sounded nice. My ability to read people told me he wasn't really trying to.

''You're welcome.'' Because, for some reason I was always nice to people. I treated them the way I wanted them to treat me, and all that. Even if they didn't give me anything in return, I still did. It was just who I was. Sometimes, though, I wondered if it only was a trait or if it was something more. At times, I almost felt compelled to be nice. As if I couldn't help it.

Thankfully, when Elena left, Damon did to. And she got up pretty much as soon as he sat down next to her. Then I was left to myself for the last hour of my shift, the only customers being the ones already seated at Sarah's tables. And since it wasn't an evening shift, they weren't many.

* * *

I made dinner that night, since my mum came home late for work I figured I'd have it ready for when she got here. After putting the lasagne in the oven, I dragged myself to the bathroom.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I didn't know why I expected something other than the same tired and pale face that always met me. I was always tired. Always. And right now, with all that'd been going on, I wondered how much more I could take. How much emotional stress could a person go through, before they broke down?

I'd always been strong, especially emotionally – always having to keep my feelings bottled up so that I wouldn't accidentally transfer them onto somebody else. It was getting so hard, though. After everything with Caroline, I didn't know how to deal with it. And it wasn't like I could turn to anyone and release some of the pressure put on my poor brain, either. I mean – something strange was up with me, both my mum and I knew that, but that was different. Right?

Grimacing, I gingerly started to pull off the bandage on my neck. I tried to breathe slowly, but my heart was racing. When I got to the last piece, I closed my eyes.

I gulped, and dropped the white fabric in the sink, still not looking. I was scared to look, but I opened my eyes and peeked anyway.

It wasn't too bad, surprisingly. All there was were two faint black marks, that most likely no one would notice. I turned my head and looked as well as I could from the side as well, and then they were almost invisible.

I let out a breath I didn't realise I'd been holding in. Maybe it would all work out in the end. If the physical evidence disappeared, then I could write it off as a bad dream. Just a bad, bad, dream.

* * *

When my mum and I sat down for dinner later, she tried to coax me into talking but it didn't really work. After a while she realised that I wasn't really up for small talk.

But after quite a long while of silence, the only sound having been the clattering of cutlery on plates, she decided to speak up again.

''So, Caroline got out of the hospital.''

I felt a chill down my spine. ''Oh.'' I swallowed nervously.

''I just thought you should know. She's better than when you last saw her.''

 _Yeah, right._ When I last saw her, she would probably have killed me like she almost did the first time.

''Oh,'' was all I could get out, again.

''Thank you for dinner, honey. It was great.'' She placed her knife and fork neatly on the plate and downed the last of her water.

''No problem,'' I mumbled.

It wasn't hard to tell that she was worried about me. I mean, I didn't even have to touch her, it just oozed right off of her, getting everywhere in the room. It was suffocating – that heavy, damp feeling of worry that made your heart rate increase and had you feeling as if someone was slowly pressing their hands harder and harder around your neck. I had to get out of the kitchen.

''I'll do the dishes later.''

''Oh, no, don't worry,'' she assured me. ''I'll take care of it.''

I nodded in thanks and practically rushed out of the room. When I got to the top of the stairs, the weight was lifted off of me and I could finally breathe normally again.

I felt bad for my mum... I never wanted this for her. I never wanted her to have to deal with this, to have to deal with me. If that's how worried she'd get from time to time, then she couldn't be feeling too good either. But she never talked about it – and I guess I didn't ask often enough.

I sank down on the edge of my bed and stared blankly in front of me. I didn't know what to do. And not just about all these overwhelming emotions, but about everything! Work, money, my mum... life. I felt like I didn't know how to live anymore. I was stuck in this day to day routine: waking up, going to work to earn money, going to work again and then getting home only to work even more and then go to sleep. I felt stuck.

Standing up again, I began pacing about the room. The walls started to close in on me, and for a second I thought that maybe my mum had followed me up to my room because I started to feel heavy again, like something or someone was pressing down on me with all their might but never actually crushing me. But my mum was still downstairs... this was all me.

It would get like this sometimes – bottled emotions flooding out without me being able to control it. But it had never been like this, and I couldn't control it. Usually, I would manage to get it under control fairly quick. But the feelings had not been near as heavy as these.

I went into the bathroom. If I distracted myself, maybe I could calm down.

But I got even more claustrophobic, and I ended up at the bottom, curling up in a ball and letting the water run over my knees. I couldn't tell for how long I sat there. Somehow, maybe the hot water helped to relax all the tension in my body, I managed to get myself up, stepping out and wrapping a towel around my body.

Getting into my bathrobe with robotic motions, I staggered out to my bed and lay down with a soft thud. I sighed and placed a hand over my forehead. Why did I always have to feel so much? Why? I never asked for any of this – and I didn't know how to deal with it. Not right now.

I reached out to my right and traced the corners of my nightstand. When my fingers came in contact with the book laying there, I grasped with my fingers, brought it to me and opened it to the last page I'd read. Books always helped me get my mind off of things.

* * *

''Evangeline?''

I looked up from the book I was reading and saw my mother peeking into my room. The air in my room suddenly grew thicker, and I could tell she was still worried.

''Yeah?''

''The masquerade is tomorrow...'' she trailed off, biting her lower lip.

I'd almost forgotten. The dress was still hanging in the same place, I just hadn't found it in me to look that much at it. The masquerade... the thing was, it really excited me that I was going there. But right now, I was just numb thinking about it – all the eagerness had gone away completely.

I think my mum was waiting for me to reply to her, which I hadn't planned on. ''And...?'' I tried to get an answer out of her a bit faster. She was still worried, and I could feel it a few metres away.

''Well, do you need any help?'' she asked.

I shrugged. ''Sure.'' It was no secret that my mother was better with makeup and hairstyles than I was. I could make myself look presentable for a normal day, but when it came to evening events, I was lucky to have her.

''Why didn't you go to the Historical Society Volunteer thing?'' she added. ''I thought you loved those sort of things?''

''I do...'' I said slowly. I didn't want to tell her that the reason I went was that I didn't want to risk running in to Caroline. If she was out, which she was, the only natural place for her to be was right in the middle of all the town events. She had always been involved in those things, and I just didn't dare to risk it. The only times I went out was for work, and even then I had to really force myself.

''So?''

I looked down at the book again, avoiding looking her in the eye. ''I had other things to do.''

''Okay...'' She didn't believe me, I could tell. She looked at me with worry in her eyes. ''You know... if you need anything, you can always talk to me. You know that, right?''

''I know, mum,'' I mumbled.

''And if this has to do with your... um...'' she struggled to find words. We always did. How did you put a word to something that wasn't supposed to exist?

''It's not that,'' I said quickly, and subconsciously pulled my sleeves down to cover my hands.

''Okay...'' She sighed heavily. ''Good night, then. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon?''

I hummed and nodded in confirmation and tried to look like I went back to reading, when in fact, my whole body was stiff as a board and I stared straight at just one word.

''Good night,'' she repeated and in the corner of my eye I saw her close the door quietly, with slumped shoulders.

I had to make this up to her somehow. It was just and endless cycle of feelings... if I felt bad, then she did – and when she felt bad I felt was she did and it just never stopped! Where did I get all of this from? All of these feelings, all this compassion constantly forcing me to feel everything to the max?

And if I didn't figure out why people were so interested in my covered neck, then I might just explode, because I couldn't take anymore prodding. Where they involved somehow? Did... did they know?

I was so freaking torn between wanting to forget and acting like it didn't happen, and the natural urge I had for figuring stuff out. Because it didn't make any sense. None of it did.

And, god, it was driving me crazy.


	10. Chapter 9 - Part 1

**Hi everyone! Sorry for being MIA, but I'm back! As I'm stating at the end, this is part one out of two, so it won't be long until you get to read the next one. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''Masks reveal in the eyes the face that lies hidden_

 _as if the mask is a dark glass mirroring your soul.''_

\- Chloe Thurlow

* * *

I grabbed my concealer from the cabinet above the sink and put some on the tip of my finger. I lifted my chin up and brought my finger to my neck, dabbing gently to cover up the two marks. Maybe I was being a bit too paranoid. I mean, if you didn't pay real close attention to my neck, for some strange reason, then you wouldn't notice them. But something in my subconscious told me to cover it up anyway.

Closing the door behind me when I was finished, I left the bathroom and went into my own room to go on my computer before I had to leave for work. I typed in my usual search words and let my eyes skim the screen before me. Spending fifteen minutes or so looking through all of the new hits, I finally got tired of it. Yet again, it wasn't giving me anything useful.

I glanced at my wardrobe, and the dress hanging there. I was finally going to be able to wear it. Pushing the chair away from the desk, I went over to it and grabbed the hanger. I put the dress neatly and flat on my bed for when I was going to put it on later.

But first, work.

* * *

I had a shift at the Grill that day. We were closing early, since pretty much the whole town was going to the Lockwood's later on. Yet somehow, we were still pretty busy. I would've thought that business would be extremely slow, but no. Maybe people figured they'd make a whole day out of it, I don't know.

We were kind of undermanned. I was the only waitress alongside Sarah, and we only had Pete and Matt Donovan working in the kitchen. Were we prepared for this many customers? Not really, but in one way or another, we'd make it work.

Thankfully, when we were nearing closing time, the stream of people got thinner. And that was about the time when Sarah came up to me, apron in hand, with a guilty look on her face.

''You're leaving?''

She nodded slowly. I didn't know why, it wasn't like I was going to get mad about it. ''I've got to get some stuff sorted before getting ready for tonight. I'll meet you there?''

''Absolutely,'' I confirmed, wiping my hands off on with a towel. She raised her hand in a quick goodbye and then disappeared to her locker to change.

People were leaving anyway, and no one came in. So it really wasn't that big a deal. I got to work wiping tables and fixing all of the salt and pepper shakers and napkins. When I'd done everything I could think of, I sat down on the chair behind the counter and stretched my arms.

Work really could get boring sometimes. When there was nothing to do, there really wasn't anything to do. And it wasn't really right to pull out my phone either. So all I could do was sit there.

In the corner of my eye, I noticed Matt by the kitchen door, taking off his apron. Was he leaving, too?

I remained seating, but soon enough he walked up to me with the same guilty look as Sarah had.

''I have to go,'' he said, looking uncomfortable. ''I promised Elena to help get Jenna home. I already talked to Pete about it.''

''Jenna?'' I frowned. Elena's aunt was at the hospital? Figures, my mum wouldn't mention it.

''Oh, you didn't know?''

I shook my head. ''No, what happened?''

''Um...'' he scratched the back of his head. ''She walked into a knife.''

 _She walked into a knife?_ ''How does someone 'walk into a knife'?'' I frowned.

Matt shrugged, looking clueless. ''Who knows?''

People don't just 'walk into knives'. Seriously, they don't. But still, I felt so sorry for Jenna, however it'd happened. ''I hope she gets better soon,'' I made a face. ''That's horrible.''

Matt nodded. ''I should go.''

''Sure,'' I said gently. ''Business is slowing down, anyways.''

''Sorry for leaving you too,'' he smiled apologetically.

I brushed it of. ''It's fine.''

''Still,'' he said. ''Are you going to the masquerade tonight?''

''Yeah,'' I replied and grabbed some clean glasses from a freshly washed batch out of the kitchen, putting them behind the bar. Might as well start preparing for tomorrow.

''Then I'll see you there,'' Matt offered me a small smile.

I nodded. ''Yeah, good luck.''

And then Matt too went to his locker, leaving only me and Pete managing the whole place. That wouldn't have worked if we had customers ordering anything other than drinks, to be honest. Lucky us then, that the only one there was a guy drinking coffee.

Eventually, that guy left too – leaving only me and Pete to finally close everything up. I was kind of anxious to get home, both because when we had few customers everything was just so boring, and also because I hadn't been out like this in a while. I usually went to all the town gatherings, but I hadn't in a while now. I felt rusty.

* * *

''Just don't overdo it, please,'' I pleaded. My mum wouldn't let me see myself until she was finished with me. She was usually very tasteful, but sometimes her eagerness got the better of her.

''Don't worry,'' she assured and pulled the brush gently through my hair.

I'd been sitting there for half an hour or so, I think, when she determined she was finished.

''Okay, I think that's about it,'' she decided and pulled the brush through a strand of my hair one last time. She kneeled in front of me and inspected her work. The corners of her mouth turned up in a big smile. ''You look beautiful, honey.''

''You didn't overdo it?''

''I don't have to overdo it with you,'' she huffed.

Rolling my eyes, I stood up and walked over to the full size mirror on the back of my door.

The thing is, I rarely got all dressed up. So when I did, I never really recognised myself. For all I knew, that pretty blonde looking back at me could be just about anyone else but me. Mum had put my hair up in a delicate french braid, leaving some strands of hair to fall down and frame my face. I always liked having my hair out of the way.

She'd only smoothened my skin and framed my eyes with some dark eye-liner and mascara, as well as putting on a faint blush red on my lips, matching the colour of the dress. I felt really pretty.

I turned myself from side to side in the mirror to see the dress from every angle. It fit perfectly. If I could marry a dress, I'd marry this one.

Then I noticed my mother dangling something in her fingers behind me. ''Oh, no. Please,'' I begged her, taking a step back.

''You can walk in them,'' she noted and raised an eyebrow.

''I know,'' I grumbled. ''But that doesn't mean that I like it.'' One – heels made me taller than I already was. Two – they were a horror to walk in. My legs were always dead after only spending an hour in a couple of heels.

''Go on,'' she urged and practically pushed them into my hands. I grabbed them reluctantly, bringing them to the bed so that I could sit down and put them on.

''See?'' my mother exclaimed excitedly. ''You look great!''

I let out an inaudible grunt but looked in the mirror anyway. Yes, it looked good – they matched the dress and all, but I only wore them for my mothers sake. I usually wore heels everyday – but they were thick. These were practically stilettos.

I gave my mother a halfway hug. ''Thanks mum.''

''No problem, Evangeline,'' she smiled warmly at me and pinched my cheek. I shied away. ''Hey!''

She just laughed. ''Have fun tonight. I'll come pick you up, okay?''

''Yes please,'' I sighed. ''I'd rather not walk home in these.''

''Well if you did,'' my mother pointed out, ''at least you would look amazing.''

I rolled my eyes. ''Mum...''

''I know, I know,'' she waved it off. ''Come on, I'll drive you there too.''

* * *

Music was playing loudly, and as Sarah and I walked from the parking area the buzz of people's voices and laughter grew stronger and stronger. There were fire artists on the big lawn in front of the house. They'd really brought out the big guns on this one.

I was always in awe by the Lockwood estate. It was such an old beautiful building, and the grounds were gorgeous. I wasn't going to lie, I was a little jealous. Our house was just enough, and I loved it – but sometimes you just longed for more, you know?

I stepped over the entrance threshold alongside Sarah. All these people in bright and sparkly dresses and masks had my head spinning before I got used to it.

''Evangeline!'' Mrs. Lockwood suddenly appeared before us, looking striking in a purple dress and a black intricate mask.

''Mrs. Lockwood, hi!'' My voice got real squeaky all of a sudden. I thought she might chop my head off for not helping prepare for all of this.

''I missed you at the preparations?'' Mrs Lockwood smiled kindly at me. She had spent so much time perfecting a smile that it was hard to tell if it was a real one or not. And I couldn't tell how she felt about it if I didn't touch her. The only times I felt something without having to go skin to skin, was when someone was practically exploding with a certain feeling; like fear or happiness.

''Yeah... I know,'' I said, desperately trying to come up with an answer. I really had to start planning my lies ahead. ''I wasn't feeling too well.''

''I'm sorry,'' she apologised, pausing. ''Well... at least you're here now.''

I nodded. ''It looks amazing, Mrs. Lockwood.''

''Thank you, dear.''

Sarah nudged my side and I quickly smiled politely. ''We're going to look around.''

''You girls do that. Have a great time.''

Sarah had never been to the Lockwood Mansion before, so, naturally, she was all over the place. I had to grab her arm a few times when she wanted to peek into rooms which had their doors closed.

There were so many people. Mystic Falls wasn't a big town, but when you squeezed all it's inhabitants into one house, albeit big house, suddenly it didn't seem so small. You practically had to slither yourself between people to get anywhere when you were inside. I was lucky not to lose Sarah in the crowd.

Sometimes I thought that people were a bit daft when they said they couldn't recognise a person just because they were wearing a mask covering their eyes. And I still stood by that... but here, when there were so many people, sounds and smells of hundreds of people's perfumes, I probably wouldn't recognise my own mother unless I stopped and really talked to her. I was kind of confusing, to be honest. At least people weren't overly excited or something like that – their emotions were pretty evened out.

''I'm going to see if I can find Tyler!'' Sarah said a bit too loudly in my ear. And then she was gone.

Great.

There was no use in trying to find her. I decided to make my way out into the fresh air and away from all the flocks of people. It wasn't smothering emotional-wise, but god it was crowded. I needed to get some air.

I pushed through as best I could, but only managed to get back to the hallway before I got stuck behind a bunch of newcomers being greeted by Mrs. Lockwood. I leaned back against the wall, waiting for them to dissolve.

The need for space was kind of overwhelming. I knew I was rusty at the whole event-thing, but this felt a bit over the top... I never really were one to get claustrophobic. I kept my gaze down. If no one payed too much attention to me, then no one would recognise me either. I thought I was off the hook and finally able to get out of the house when I felt someone lean up against the wall next to me.

''Hey there,'' someone whispered in my ear, making my jump in surprise. I turned my head to the right... and found myself staring right up at none other than Damon Salvatore.

* * *

 **I decided to split the chapter in two parts, since it would be so long otherwise. This way I have something for you guys next week too! So stay tuned :)**


	11. Chapter 9 - Part 2

**It's not super long - but here's part 2. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''The devil's finest trick is to persuade you that he does not exist''_

\- Charles Baudelaire

* * *

 _''I'm going to see if I can find Tyler!'' Sarah said a bit too loudly in my ear. And then she was gone._

 _Great._

 _There was no use in trying to find her. I decided to make my way out into the fresh air and away from all the flocks of people. It wasn't smothering emotional-wise, but god it was crowded. I needed to get some air._

 _I pushed through as best I could, but only managed to get back to the hallway before I got stuck behind a bunch of newcomers being greeted by Mrs. Lockwood. I leaned back against the wall, waiting for them to dissolve._

 _The need for space was kind of overwhelming. I knew I was rusty at the whole event-thing, but this felt a bit over the top... I never really were one to get claustrophobic. I kept my eyes down. If no one payed too much attention to me, then no one would recognise me either. I thought I was off the hook and finally able to get out of the house when I felt someone lean up against the wall next to me._

 _''Hey there,'' someone whispered in my ear, making my jump in surprise. I turned my head to the right... and found myself staring right up at none other than Damon Salvatore._

* * *

Great.

He was dressed in a dark suit and had on a matching black mask. The only contrast to the dark colours were his white shirt and pale skin.

''Hello,'' I replied calmly. He freaked me out sometimes. But if I kept my calm, nothing bad could happen if I accidentally touched someone.

The corners of his mouth turned upwards in a small smirk. ''Nice dress.''

''Thank you.'' I continued to keep myself short. I wasn't really happy about talking with him in the first place.

''Nice party too, right?''

''Mhm,'' I was starting to grow more and more uncomfortable. My subconscious made me shy away from him, but he followed. I couldn't get away.

''Do you know something?'' he blurted out all of a sudden.

 _Huh?_ Why was he so pushy? And why was he even talking to me in the first place?

''About what?'' I took a step back.

''Your neck,'' Damon urged on. His eyes were black. ''What happened?''

All the blood left my face. ''N-nothing.''

''That make-up may fool some people,'' he commented and threw a pointing glance at my neck.

''I-I...'' I swallowed nervously. _Just keep your calm._ ''I don't know what you're talking about.

''I can help you,'' he promised. All I heard was that he was way too interested in this to not want to get something out of it. He knew something. But how much?

''I don't know what there is that I need help with.''

''Why can't you be compelled?''

 _What does that even mean?_ Why did he press on? Why, why was he so eager to get answers from me? What was it about me that made people want to put me through these cross-interrogations?

''I still don't know what you're talking about!'' I exclaimed in a whisper. The frustration was seriously getting to me now, and it didn't help that he was so intimidating.

''Leave her alone,'' I suddenly heard Stefan's voice from behind me.

''But,'' his brother spat and glared at him, black eyes on fire.

''Damon.''

The tone in Stefan's voice was anything like I'd heard him sound like before. Commanding. Angry.

''Fine,'' Damon sneered, and stepped back. I could finally let out a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding in.

''I'm sorry about him,'' Stefan offered me a small smile as he took a small step towards me.

''Look, I need to go...''

''I can help you,'' he said suddenly. Not him, too. What was this, bad cop, good cop?

I frowned. ''There's nothing that needs helping. Thank you though.''

''Miss Moreau,'' he began, but I hurried away before he could finish. Free-running a bit between a group of suit-wearing middle-aged men, I hoped that I lost him.

''Ev!'' a familiar voice called. ''Hey, Ev!''

I span around trying to find whoever was shouting for me – which was kind of hard since everyone looked pretty much the same. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

''Hey,'' Sarah grinned. ''Were did you go?''

''Where did **you** go?'' I countered, placing my hands firmly on my hips. ''Did you find Tyler?''

''Yeah...'' she trailed off sullenly. ''He was with that Gilbert kid and two girls.''

I put my hand on her dress-covered shoulder, but didn't say anything. And seconds later, she went on talking about how we should go get something to drink, and dragged me towards the drinks being served by the dancing area on the lawn.

Sarah handed me a glass, but I didn't drink it. She, on the other hand, downed whatever was in it quite fast.

''Look at Stefan and Elena,'' Sarah sighed suddenly. I followed her gaze to were people were dancing and noticed two people who probably were those two. Elena was wearing a short black dress and what looked like a matching black mask. I shrunk in my spot, hoping that he was too occupied with his girlfriend too notice me again.

''What about them?'' I wondered.

''They look so good together,'' she continued dreamily.

''You know, I bet Tyler is around here somewhere...'' I'd just about noticed Jeremy Gilbert coming down the staircase with two girls in tow, before joining someone who could be Bonnie Bennett. But I wasn't sure.

''Mhm,'' she hummed, all of a sudden not sounding as interested as before. I let her be. Honestly, I couldn't figure out what she was thinking sometimes. She was a very dynamic person.

''Have you ever liked anyone?'' she continued. I brought my eyes to her and studied her closely. Her jaw was clenched and her eyes were focused on a single spot somewhere right in front of her. She was really into him. I didn't even know if she'd talked to him, but it seemed like one of those crushes when you just completely obsess over someone and all you want is to talk to them, but you don't have the guts.

''Not really...'' I said slowly, trying to think back. ''Small crushes when I was like thirteen or something, but I don't think that counts.''

''Why is it so hard?''

I frowned. I didn't know it got to her this much. I felt my arm raise to grab her clenched fist, but quickly stopped myself when I realised what I was doing. I mentally cursed myself for being so careless.

''I don't know,'' I admitted. ''But why don't you try and talk to him?''

Her brown eyes flickered to me. ''Isn't that a bit like... I don't know. Too pushy?''

''God no!'' I exclaimed. ''Sarah, just **talking** to someone doesn't mean that you tell them everything you feel by doing that. You can talk to a guy without him thinking you're interested. Well, at least you should be able to. Just find a good time.''

The corner of her mouth twitched, like she was trying to hold in a smile. ''Miss Guru.''

I punched her lightly in her arm. ''Just trying to be a good friend.''

''Yeah...'' she sighed, looking down at her feet.

''How about you take my table at work?'' I suggested. ''He always sits at the same one when he comes in.''

Sarah looked at me, oozing insecurity. ''Maybe...''

''It's seriously the most natural way for you to talk to him.'' I tried to sound as convincing as I could, and I think it worked because her body visibly relaxed. She unclenched her fists and her lips parted.

''Are you sure?''

I looked her dead in the eyes. ''Yes. Take the table. If you feel like it's a bad idea we can always switch back.''

''Thanks Ev,'' she smiled sheepishly. ''Why am I so... so...''

''So enamoured?'' I laughed.

''Woah, that's a big word,'' Sarah relaxed and laughed with me.

She was a little calmer after our little talk, and we stood there talking and looking at the fire dancers for a while.

Suddenly, I got a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt like throwing up, and my body grew warmer and warmer until I could basically hear the blood boiling in my veins. Someone, somewhere, was very, very scared.

I looked around, trying to find out where my feeling was coming from. Trying to find the person actually feeling this. I squinted my eyes, trying to get a clear view through all the smoke coming from the fire dancers.

And that's when I noticed her. From any other angle, she wouldn't be visible, and especially not if you weren't looking. I saw Elena. But, I'd just seen Elena – wearing a black party dress. This Elena was wearing ordinary clothes. And her face was twisted in agony.

''What...'' I breathed, confused.

''What's wrong?'' Sarah asked and poked me in the arm.

I didn't look at her, I just stared at what was happening before me. She wasn't alone, someone was with her. Someone she trusted, I could feel it. Her brother and... Bonnie, maybe? I knew they were friends.

It would take a whole lot for me to feel someones emotions from this far. She was probably scared to death. Scared for her life.

''Hey!'' Sarah poked me even harder. ''What's up with you?''

I finally took a second to look at her and found her staring worriedly back at me. When I glanced back to where I'd seen Elena – they were gone.

''What the...''

''Ev?'' Sarah was actually starting to sound really concerned.

''I-I...'' I honestly didn't know. My emotions had never played tricks on me before. It had to have happened. But... two Elena's? Again?

''I think I need to sit down.''

Sarah nodded quickly. ''Okay, sure. Come one, let's go find a bench somewhere.''

Grabbing my arm, she walked with me slowly to sit down just by the entrance. All of a sudden I felt this overwhelming urge of wanting to go home. This night didn't go as I hoped. Not being out to events for a while, combined with my messed up head, made everything feel different. Like nothing could be the same again.

My mother was supposed to pick me up, but that wasn't for a while, so Sarah sat with me – graciously giving up her stalking Tyler – and we talked about all kinds of trivial things. It helped a little, and eventually, the feeling that had taken over completely left my body and all I had left was tiredness.

* * *

Most people had left when I was supposed the get picked up by my mum. Sarah, too, decided she probably should be on her way. I decided to wait for her by the parking area – something I sorely regretted soon enough. It was getting kind of cold standing outside in a short dress this late at night, but I felt like I'd been there too long to go back inside. If my mum didn't show up soon I might just popsicle.

Suddenly I heard someone approaching. I turned my head to see who it was, and saw Elena – yet again in her regular clothes. This was seriously so confusing. Something was getting to my head and my nerves, and it had started even before the whole Caroline incident.

She was walking towards her car with her phone by her ear. She was far enough away for me not to hear what she said, but I could still see her. And I could see someone walking up to her.

And then I saw him grab her.

A guy in a big mask, that much I could see. It looked twisted, like a joker or a clown. I felt my blood freeze. _Oh god._ _Oh god._ What should I do? Should I scream, should I run to her or... what should I do?

I didn't have much time to think about it though, because seconds later I felt someone throw something over my head and then everything went black.

* * *

 **Leave a comment and let me know what you think :)**


	12. Chapter 10

**Hey guys... sorry for the delay. I've been ill, lost inspiration for a short while, etc. etc. And I didn't want to just throw this chapter together, since it's quite an important one (I don't really want to throw any chapter together, but you know). Anyways, without further ado – enjoy this chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''You'd best start believe in ghost stories...''_

Pirates of the Caribbean

* * *

I think that I was continuously slipping in and out of consciousness, because I wasn't aware of ever really waking up. I couldn't feel my body, and I couldn't move it – but my mind was awake enough to register things from my surroundings. I could hear people talking... I think they were two. A man and a woman.

 _''Why did they take her?'' someone hissed._

 _''I guess she saw everything...''_

 _''So? He should've just knocked her out. We can't risk this.''_

Who where they talking about? Me? Everything went dark again. I wasn't sure for how long I was out this time. The next time I came to it, I realised that the voices I was hearing were probably the same as before.

 _''How's the girl?''_

 _''Still passed out.''_

 _''You didn't touch her, did you?''_

 _''Give me some credit.''_

I was beginning to lose all sense of time when I came to it the third time. I had no idea how much time had passed between the conversations I... at least I think, I was hearing.

 _''So you called him?''_

 _''No, I called one of his contacts. You know how this works.''_

 _''Did you or did you not get the message to Elijah?''_

 _''They say he got it.''_

 _''Wonderful. And what?''_

 _''So that's it, Trevor. He either got it or he didn't- We just have to wait.''_

* * *

I don't know how long it had been when I finally woke up. The first thing my mind registered was how cold I was – how the hairs on my arms were standing and how I was uncomfortably stiff, and my limbs were trembling.

Clicking my tongue up against my pallet, it stuck. My mouth was dry. When I brought my hand to it I realised that I had dried saliva all around it. Lovely. I tried to wipe it off best I could to get rid of the icky feeling I had in my mouth.

When I opened my eyes, at first I could see nothing but darkness. Eventually, though, yellow spots started to appear and glimmer, splattered all around me. It took me a while to realise that the splatters where lights, and that the room around me was otherwise dark.

God, my head hurt. Like I'd hit it real hard on something. It hurt so bad that I felt like throwing up, like someone was stabbing me repeatedly in the head with tiny, tiny, knives.

I didn't know if I could move. I squinted and looked down at myself – I was still wearing my dress from the party. The party... the last thing I remembered was going off to wait for my mother. What... what had happened? And were on earth was I?

I had to find out where I was. Trying to take in my surroundings, I sat up slowly, painfully. Everything spun before me a few seconds, before my head adjusted and I didn't feel sick from moving.

''Ow,'' I groaned and brought my hand up to somehow support my head. This was even worse than migraines. My hair was a mess, I noticed – the delicate french braid my mum had done was all loose and some of the hair pins were painfully pricking my scalp. I stretched my legs in front of me, hoping that the only part of me drenched in pain was my head. Thankfully, I was only very, very stiff.

I turned my head away from my body and tried to take in what was around me. The run-down room was dimly lit by stray lights scattered all over. I was on a couch in the middle of the room, facing what looked like a swirly staircase. Everything was still very foggy, and I had trouble making out contours of things.

'' _Miss Moreau_?''

Up until now, I hadn't even considered the thought that I wasn't alone. Looking to the right, I noticed a familiar figure on the opposite edge of the couch I was on.

My eyes widened. ''Elena?'' I coughed. My throat was so dry that speaking was difficult.

Elena looked at me, her brown eyes wide as saucers. ''What are you doing here?'' She hissed in pain as she sat up in the rugged couch and I still couldn't focus my eyes, but I could tell she was injured.

''Are you hurt?'' I pressed anxiously, my voice ragged. ''Where are we? And what are _you_ doing here?''

Elena hushed me and turned her head in another direction, looking distressed.

''A-are we...'' I began, but Elena shook her head and brought her finger in front of her mouth to silence me again.

She moved in closer to me but gasped as she did. My eyes, slowly regaining their focus, couldn't see properly in this dim room, but I did see a large dark spot on her sweater.

''We need to be quiet,'' she whispered, her voice barely a breath. She moved her hand up, gesturing towards her ear. '' _They can hear_.''

I frowned. ''Who...''

''I thought I told you to be quiet,'' a voice called harshly from the doorway.

My head immediately snapped in the direction of the voice. I knew that voice, it was the woman talking before. She was alone, though.

''You finally awake? Took a real beating,'' she stated and walked up to us with her arms crossed.

''Who are you?'' I managed to get out, my voice raspy.

The woman before me had brown, short and spiky, almost to the shoulder hair that looked like she'd cut it with a couple of shears. She seemed to be around thirty or so, and was wearing a leather jacket and pants. She looked like she meant business, and her emotions were calm so I couldn't even get an insight into her that way.

''None of your business,'' she snapped and looked at me angrily. ''You're not even supposed to be here.''

''Her name is Rose,'' Elena muttered next to me, causing the woman to quickly walk up to her and smack her over the head.

''Be quiet,'' she demanded.

That was when I realised that Elena and I, we were in real trouble. Looking to Elena, I saw that somehow she didn't seem too faced by all of this. I couldn't feel any fear from her, either. Maybe she was in shock. But still, there was something off, I just couldn't put my finger on what it was.

The woman – Rose – then turned to me, her nostrils flaring in anger. ''And you too. Stay quiet. You've been enough of a nuisance as it is.''

Then she stormed off, her heels clicking on the floor. She only came in to tell us to be quiet? _Why_?

''Are you okay?'' I asked Elena, my voice barely a whisper. It was all I could muster, honestly.

She nodded, clenching her fists. She didn't look scared. If anything, she looked determined. She stood up and started walking around the room, careful not to stomp in case it would bring Rose back.

''Who was that, Elena?'' I asked.

She threw me a quick glance through a curtain of long, dark hair. ''I don't really know.''

''But you've talked to her,'' I pressed, desperate for any kind of answer. She knew something – at least she knew more than me.

''I'm not supposed to be here,'' I repeated what Rose had said before she left. ''What about you?''

Elena stopped in her tracks and locked her eyes on mine. ''I...'' For a moment, I thought she was going to tell me, but she must've changed her mind at the last second, because she shut her mouth and started pacing again.

''Come on... Elena,'' I pleaded, ''you've got to understand how weird this is? Why on earth are we here? Do you know?''

She bit her lip, looking down at her moving feet. ''I don't.''

Yeah, that was a lie. I could sense that even without touching her. I could tell she was trying to keep her distance, and if she wanted to keep everything to herself, then I guess she could.

That's what we did for I don't know how long – I sat on the couch thinking and Elena walked back and forth around the room in silence – until Elena finally stopped her pacing and collapsed on the couch next to me. ''We have to get out of here.'' I nodded in agreement.

Suddenly, I noticed her forehead crease. ''What's wrong?''

She didn't answer, but fidgeted with something under her leg. I looked closer, and when she opened her hand she had a crumbled piece of paper in it.

''Oh my god,'' she breathed, rubbing off her relief on me, finally letting me know that she actually had been worried. ''It's going to be okay.''

''What is it?'' I inquired, leaning in to see what the note said.

''It's okay,'' she repeated. ''Stefan and Damon are coming.''

I frowned. ''How...?

She shook her head rapidly. ''I'll explain everything, okay? Just not right now.''

I wanted to protest, I really did – especially since she shut me out again – but my gut told me to trust her. So I did, and kept my mouth shut.

We sat in silence. Small talk felt like the furthest thing from what I wanted to do right now, and I think that we were both fine with that. Instead, my mind was on overdrive working through every possible scenario it could come up with.

Why was I here? And why on earth was Elena here? I still couldn't remember anything past going to the cars at the Lockwood's for my mum to pick me up. God, I didn't even know if that _was_ last night. How long had I been gone for? Sure, I was wearing the dress, but that didn't mean that only one night had passed. Was my mother looking for me? Was she worried? Or had she not even made it to pick me up yet? Maybe it hadn't been several hours, as I first thought...

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. I wanted to scream. I wanted to kick something, to smash something. A part of me asked what good all this wondering would do, since it wasn't giving me any answers, only more questions – and the other part kept on wanting to know though I knew I probably wasn't going to get any.

* * *

''What if we smash one of those windows?'' I suggested, breaking our record-long silence, and pointed to one of the draped windows on the far end of the room. Someone didn't seem to want any sun to shine throw, because all of the windows were covered in the same way.

Elena shook her head. ''We're in... I think we're in the middle of no where.''

''So? At least we'll get away from her.''

''Them.''

I gave her a puzzled look. ''Huh?''

'' _Them_ ,'' she corrected me. ''There's two. There's a guy too. His name's Trevor.''

Right, I forgot. When I'd been slipping in and out of consciousness, I'd heard a man, too. But I hadn't seen him yet, only Rose.

''And we can't get away,'' she continued, focusing intently on picking some dirt from her fingernails.

''But if we just...''

''We can't,'' she interrupted. Her brown eyes were solemn.

''Just a while ago you wanted to find a way out of here,'' I pointed out, slowly starting to grow frustrated with her.

''Stefan and Damon are coming.''

I sighed heavily. This wasn't going to get us anywhere. She seemed so sure of it though, that help was on the way. And even if I wanted to try and break the window, my chance had already passed – because seconds later, Rose's heels could be heard echoing closer and then she was in the room with us again.

I subconsciously pressed myself closer to the back of the couch, but she didn't pay me any attention. She started throwing stuff in her bag, a jacket on a table and a book that was next to it.

Suddenly, I heard urgent steps scurrying towards us. A man hurried down the stairs on the other side of the room, approaching Rose with wide eyes. He was practically surrounded by a cloud of fear. He had brown hair reaching the nape of his neck, stubble on his chin and dark eyes. I recognised his voice, it was the same one as the man before. He was obviously the other half of this pair. What was his name... Trevor.

''He's here,'' he announced. He started pacing back and forth, pulling at his hair frantically. ''This was a mistake.''

 _Who's here_? _And why is he so scared?_ I looked from Trevor to Rose, and then to Elena. She shook her head, letting me know that she didn't know any more than I did. That was a first.

Rose looked at him, a glimpse of desperation in her eyes. ''No, I told you I would get us out of this. You have to trust me.''

''No,'' Trevor exclaimed. ''Elijah wants me dead, Rose.''

I noticed Rose's eyes drifting towards Elena. ''He wants her more.''

What did this unknown ''he'' - Elijah - want Elena for? Was she in trouble? I mentally slapped myself. Of course she's in trouble, genius. I was too, and in way in over my head.

''I-I can't do this,'' he was breathing heavily by now, practically hyperventilating. ''You give her to him, he'll have mercy on you, but I need to get out of here.''

Rose walked up to him and grabbed both his arms. I couldn't see her face but somehow, she kept him still. They obviously trusted each other.

''Hey...'' she said slowly, her voice softer than I thought it could be. ''What are we?''

He let out a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. ''We're family. Forever.''

In the corner of my eye, I noticed Elena watching them just as carefully as I was. It was strange, watching our... our captors being so casual and caring. I had no idea how Trevor was, but from what I'd seen from Rose, she didn't give me the impression to be a sensitive person.

This obviously meant something to the two of them – no, not something... it meant a lot. A whole lot. I got the feeling that somehow, their lives were dependent on whatever they had planned. A plan which apparently involved Elena.

There were sounds echoing throughout the house. Someone else was coming.

Whoever this person was, Rose and her partner were terrified. I hadn't sensed Rose's fear before, but now I felt it sipper through the air spreading out like a spiders web filling up the whole room. As if my own fear wasn't enough, now I had these two to deal with as well. Closing my eyes, I tried to take as slow and steady breaths as I could as not to pass out. It was overwhelming.

Elena picked up on it too, even without supernatural powers. ''You're scared,'' she breathed, like she couldn't believe it.

Rose looked over at us, before turning back to her friend. ''Stay her with her. And don't make a sound.'' She scurried up the stairs, her heels echoing against the floor. And she told him to keep quiet...

''Hey, wait!'' I exclaimed. ''Who's... who's Elijah?''

Rose turned around and looked at me sternly. She was nervous, though. She couldn't cover that up. Even from this distance, I could see her bottom lip tremble as she said:

''He's your worst nightmare.''

* * *

 **I'm sorry, I had to :P I know you were excited to finally meet Elijah – but at least now I can say that you most DEFINITELY will in the next chapter (and I promise to not take two weeks this time). Stay hyped!**


	13. Chapter 11

**Ugh... I don't know what to think about this chapter! I'm both super-excited and totally not... because as far as I'm concerned, Elijah is the best thing that ever happened to TVD :P and I never think that I do him justice! Oh well... I hope you like it! This chapter is long, so prepare... Here you go guys, FINALLY the chapter we've all been waiting for!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _God has mercifully ordered that the human brain works slowly;_

 _first the blow,_

 _hours afterwards the bruise_

\- Walter de la Mare

* * *

 _There were sounds echoing throughout the house. Someone else was coming._

 _Whoever this person was, Rose and her partner were terrified. I hadn't sensed Rose's fear before, but now I felt it sipper through the air spreading out like a spiders web filling up the whole room. As if my own fear wasn't enough, now I had these two to deal with as well. Closing my eyes, I tried to take as slow and steady breaths as I could as not to pass out. It was overwhelming._

 _Elena picked up on it too, even without supernatural powers. ''You're scared,'' she breathed, like she couldn't believe it._

 _Rose looked over at us, before turning back to her friend. ''Stay her with her. And don't make a sound.'' She scurried up the stairs, her heels echoing against the floor. And she told him to keep quiet..._

 _''Hey, wait!'' I exclaimed. ''Who's... who's Elijah?''_

 _Rose looked at me sternly. She was nervous, though. She couldn't cover that up. Even from this distance, I could see her bottom lip tremble as she said:_

 _''He's your worst nightmare.''_

* * *

 _Click. Click._

I could hear Rose's heels. Her footsteps were coming closer and closer, and it was as if each step sent a loud thud vibrating throughout my body.

''Elena?'' I croaked, not knowing what to do. I stood up next to her.

''We'll be fine,'' she persisted, slightly comforting. ''Don't worry.''

She sounded like she was used to encouraging people, or herself, like this. She came off as so convinced that she almost had me all the way with her too.

''I don't know what to do...'' I began, but Trevor hushed at me and threw me a glare that made me close my mouth immediately.

Then a man appeared in the doorway above the stairs, and it was like everyone stopped breathing.

I would be lying if I didn't say that he was handsome. He was. Wearing a dark suit, shirt and tie, he looked very much out of place in this trashed and old room. His dark hairstyle looked like something out of an old film, but every hair was impeccably placed and he looked stylish from top to bottom. However, the fact that this man most likely was Elijah clouded all that, and the fear that spread across the room and etched itself on me made me forget all about his appearance.

To my right, I could hear Elena's heavy breathing. Now I could feel how scared she was. The fear of everyone else in the room mixed with my own was making it impossible to tell what _I_ was really feeling.

In the blink of an eye, the man had moved from the top of the stairs to just mere inches from Elena. I let out a practically inaudible yelp and I think my heart skipped a beat. That didn't just happened, it didn't... he wasn't like Caroline, this couldn't happen again, could it?

He towered over Elena's trembling form and stared at her. And then he leaned in to her neck and sniffed.

''Human. It's impossible.'' His voice was calm and low, and it was his voice that told his emotion, while his face was completely blank. He seemed intrigued, almost... in awe? ''Hello there,'' he continued, a small smile playing on his lips, not letting his eyes drift from her for as much as a second.

I stared at the scene that was taking place before me. I felt completely lost and at a loss for words, thoughts, everything except the emotions that everyone else in the room was feeling. Everything but Elijah, I couldn't get anything off of him – meaning that he was in absolute control and knew exactly what he was doing.

''We have a long journey ahead of us. We should be going.'' Elijah went to grab Elena's arm but she yelled in protest.

''Please, don't let him take me,'' Elena begged Rose, tears forming in her eyes. Rose shook her head, avoiding any eye contact. She looked embarrassed and sad when Elena's shaky voice pleaded her for help, but she didn't do anything. This exchange that was supposed to happen, it was important to her... to her and Trevor. But why?

I felt like such a bystander, like I wasn't really there, but just watching through a screen. Elijah hadn't even acknowledged my presence – and I supposed that I should be glad – but it also made me feel indispensable. I didn't know what they would to do me eventually, and it scared the living hell out of me.

''One last piece of business. Then we're done.'' Elijah said, not taking his eyes of Elena for longer than he needed to. He backed away and walked up to Trevor, who's eyes darted back and forth between Elijah and the floor nervously.

''I've waited so long for this day, Elijah. I'm truly, very sorry.'' Trevor took a deep breath.

''Oh, no, your apology is not necessary.'' Elijah was strolling casually around him. I don't know why, but I had a bad feeling about this. It was like watching a predator circling in on its prey. I didn't like it, not one bit. And this is knowing that Trevor had kidnapped Elena and I just... I still had no idea how long ago. And now I was feeling sorry for him.

''Yes. Yes, it is.'' Trevor paused hesitantly. ''You trusted me with Katerina and I failed you.''

''Well, yes, you are the guilty one,'' Elijah said and looked up at Rose who was still standing in the stairs. ''And Rose aided you because she was loyal to you. That I honour.''

He then stopped right in front of Trevor. ''Where was your loyalty?''

It was like the ambiance in the room took a u-turn – and crashed into a wall. If things had been tense before, I wouldn't know what to call this. My gut was telling me more than ever, to get out of there, because I knew something bad was about to go down. If Elijah was like Caroline, then I wouldn't underestimate him.

For a second, Trevor looked confused at Elijah's choice of words. ''I beg your forgiveness'', he quavered.

Elijah just looked at him. ''So granted.''

Then he punched him from the side and tore his head clean off.

I had to grab the back of the couch for support. Maybe it was because I felt Rose's feelings too, that I felt like dying. Her pain ripped through me and it was like I'd been cut clean in half. My scream mixed with the heart wrenching one of Rose. ''You-''

Elijah turned to Rose, who stood bent over, clutching her body. He seemed completely oblivious to all the blood on his hands and sleeves. ''Don't Rose,'' he said calmly. ''Now that you are free.'' His voice was so soaked in... nonchalance, like he didn't care that he just killed someone. Like he didn't care about anything. I fought the urge to collapse on the floor and throw up.

Elijah brought his attention back to Elena. ''Come.''

I didn't know if I should say something – and even if I should, I couldn't. But I couldn't just watch him take Elena away to god knows where.

''Elena...'' I mumbled, trying to reach out.

''Don't worry,'' she panted, but she didn't sound like she even believed it herself.

Up until now, Elijah hadn't given me as much as a glimpse, but when he heard my voice he must've realised that he probably should deal with me too. However he would. And after what I'd just seen him do, I prepared myself for a screening of my life flashing by.

''What is your name?'' he asked, and when he took a step towards me I took a step back. He smiled, knowing that he frightened me.

I didn't dare to keep my mouth shut. ''Evangeline,'' I replied, keeping my eyes on him. It was so hard to stay on my feet, with everyone's feelings weighing me down.

''Evangeline... My name is Elijah,'' he greeted, surprisingly polite. That seemed to be his thing, somehow. He was polished... but brutal.

''I don't know why I'm here.''

''Oh, I am here for Elena. You, I believe, are somewhat of a... nuisance.''

He walked up to me, and I backed away frantically, until I managed to trip over something and fall backwards with a loud thud. I hissed upon feeling a sharp pain in my hand, and when I looked down I realised that I'd scratched it on an old wooden board. It was bleeding, but not much. I knew those heels were a bad idea.

''Get up.'' He sounded impatient.

I scrambled to my feet. I blinked, and then all of a sudden he was right in front of me.

''H-how?'' I choked.

His dark eyes pierced mine intently. He didn't look away, and I couldn't for the life of me understand what he was doing. It was like that thing Stefan and his brother had tried before.

''W-what are you doing?'' I stammered.

''Are you on vervain?'' he demanded. ''Tell me.''

''I-I don't...''

''Yes, she is!'' Elena suddenly cried from her place by the couch. ''She's on vervain. She's been drinking it.''

Elijah raised his brow at her. He turned his gaze towards the ceiling, like he was pondering something. Then, he gently grabbed my scratched hand and put his finger on the wound.

Out of pure instinct, I protested loudly when my hand came in contact with his. He frowned at me and I retracted my hand quickly. He kept looking at me with a strange look in his eyes, and then he... he put his fingertip in his mouth. As if he was... as if he was tasting my blood.

I didn't know if I'd transferred anything onto him when our hands touched, but if I'd touched him now all he'd feel was an extreme nausea. Everything about Caroline was coming back to me, and all I could think was: _it can't happen again_. He was like her, he must be. How else would he be able to move so fast? And why would he taste the blood from my hand?

He looked taken aback. ''Your blood...'' He paused, his eyes dark. ''You are not on vervain.'' He seemed intrigued and studied me intently. ''What are you?''

I swallowed nervously, hurting my dry throat. I didn't know what to answer. I mean, I knew that I shouldn't tell him anything, but at the same time, _I_ didn't even know what I was.

''What are you?'' he repeated his question, His mouth was pressed in a thin line, and while he didn't sound angry, somehow that feeling was what struck me anyways.

For a second, all I did was stare at him. I had this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I was completely terrified but somehow in awe at the same time. But I couldn't escape the thought that I was a meal to him if he wanted to.

''Evangeline,'' Elena's voice cracked, ''don't tell him.''

Stefan must've told her something. Whatever it was he thought he knew, at least. To the best of my knowledge, he didn't _know_ a thing.

Elijah advanced on me again, and this time I didn't have any room to back up. He looked down on me menacingly. ''You are not a vampire. Why can't you be compelled?''

If I had any doubts before, his words pretty much confirmed the fact that he was like Caroline. Otherwise he wouldn't talk about it so bluntly, there's no way.

''I don't even know what compelling is, okay?'' I exclaimed, the nervous, frightened and frustrated bubble inside me finally burst.

''What is she doing here, really?'' Elijah turned to Rose, jaw clenched.

I let out a relieved breath when he stepped away from me, and glanced past him at Rose who was still in the same place as before. She shook her head, biting her lip. ''She was an accident.''

''Really?'' Elijah questioned. ''You know, as far as accidents go, she is a particularly interesting one.'' He turned his eyes back at me. ''But I am not here for you. Elena, dear, come.''

Elena looked from me to Rose and then to Elijah with panic-struck eyes. ''Wait! W-what about the moonstone?''

Elijah stopped suddenly in his tracks, frowning at her. ''What do you know about the moonstone?''

''I know that you need it. A-and I know where it is.''

He raised his brow at her, waiting for her to continue. ''Yes?''

''I can help you get it.''

''Tell me where it is,'' he said simply.

''It doesn't work that way,'' she shook her head firmly.

''Are you negotiating with me?'' he sighed, sounding like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Turning to Rose, expecting an explanation.

She stared back at him, her eyes empty. I noticed how she kept herself in the exact place, close to Trevor's body, but she never as much as glanced at him. ''It's the first I've heard of it.''

He looked deep into her eyes, his pupils dilating like before. Then he looked down at the necklace hanging around her neck.

''What is this vervain doing around your neck...'' he mumbled and tore it off, after which he grabbed her forcefully by the head and forced her to look into his eyes. ''Tell me where the moonstone is.''

''Elena!'' I exclaimed in horror. Elijah raised his free hand and hushed me. I had no idea what they were talking about, but it was obviously important.

''In the tomb underneath the church ruins,'' she breathed robotically.

''What is it doing there?''

''It's with Katherine.''

''What is darling Evangeline over here?'' he murmured and put a stray strand of hair behind Elena's ear gently.

''I don't know.'' Elijah didn't look too happy with this fact.

Then some glass was heard breaking somewhere in the house. Elijah's head immediately snapped up, and he kept his head high, listening. ''What is that?'' he snapped.

''I don't know,'' Rose replied, her face glistening with tears.

Elijah looked around suspiciously. ''Who else is in this house?''

''I don't know,'' she repeated.

Elijah grabbed Elena's arm in one hand and mine in the other. ''Move!'' he commanded and pushed us forward and up the stairs. I had trouble keeping up in my ridiculous shoes but I managed to keep myself upright, at least.

Elijah pushed us through a corridor that eventually took us into what looked like the house's entrance. I hadn't been awake to see the rest of the house, but there really wasn't much to say about it. It was just as shabby as the room we'd been kept in.

He stopped just below a grand staircase. Suddenly, something swooshed past us. Elijah turned in the direction the sound went and his face wasn't blank anymore. He looked around him, listening, with his jaw tightly clenched and mouth pressed into a thin line. Elena seized the moment and broke herself loose from Elijah's grip, and grabbed me in the process, whilst running towards Rose.

''Rose?'' he asked, his voice low and angry.

''I don't know who it is.'' Then something swooshed by again.

''Up here,'' someone suddenly said, his voice echoing along the walls somewhere from upstairs.

One minute, Elijah was standing down by the front door with us, then all of a sudden he was at the top of the stairs. If I didn't have all that adrenaline in my body, then I would think that I'd gone mad, again. I'd decided to push everything about Caroline back, to the furthest corners of my mind, but now it was all coming back – and with other people. She wasn't the only one, and when this was over – if it ended well for me – that realisation would come crashing down on me like nothing else.

''Down here,'' the voice said, getting Elijah to turn around. Elena breathed heavily and swirled around, but there was no one there. Suddenly, Elijah had something sticking in and out of his hand. A stake. I half expected him to scream out in pain, but all he did was pull it out, looking pissed of.

Then, all of a sudden, I was pressed up against a wall somewhere else. My eyes widened and I almost screamed, until I saw Elena next to me and Stefan holding his finger up to silence us both.

Elena had been serious. Stefan was here. But how did I get here, like, away from the entrance? _How_?

''Excuse me! To whom it may concern, you're making a grave mistake if you think that you can beat me,'' Elijah shouted. ''You can't. You hear that? I repeat, you cannot beat me. ''

I looked to Elena and Stefan for any kind of telling what to do, but Elena shook her head.

''So I want the girl, on the count of three,'' Elijah continued, and I could hear the sound of wood breaking. ''Or heads will roll. Do we understand each other?''

In the corner of my eye, I noticed Elena starting to walk away from us. ''Ele-'' I began, but Stefan immediately put his hand over my mouth. I glared at him and motioned towards Elena helplessly, but he wouldn't let me go. Then, I could hear her voice.

''I'll come with you, just please don't hurt my friends. They just wanted to help me out.'' Elijah answered something inaudible, and even though I really tried to listen, I couldn't make it out.

 _BOOM_.

''What was that?'' I hissed in panic, fighting against Stefan's hold.

''Stay here,'' he persisted. He must've seen the turmoil in my eyes, because he added, ''you'll be fine.''

Someone was screaming in pain. After that, all I heard was gunshots and grunts and things beings thrown around. Or people. And after a minute or two, everything got real quiet. I gulped, hearing my heart beating loudly in my ears.

''Miss Mo-'' I heard Elena's voice to the right of me, stopping before she'd finished and correcting herself. ''Evangeline, come on.''

I stared at her. ''What did you do?'' I was honestly surprised that I even managed to speak after all this. ''Where's Elijah?''

She waved her hand, gesturing me to come. On shaky legs and horrid shoes, I wobbled after her back into the big entrance. Just below the stairs were Stefan and Damon, just like she'd said. Elena ran down and threw herself in Stefan's arms.

''Hey, come here,'' Stefan reached for Elena. ''Are you hurt? Are you okay?'' She clung to him tightly, and I felt a stab in my heart – I really needed my mum right now.

When I looked to the right wall, I noticed a dark form. First, I flinched, thinking that it was a threat – until I also saw the pole going through the body of the person pierced to the wall.

I gasped, tears forming in my eyes from the shock. ''W-what did you do?''

Getting everyone's eyes on me would've made me feel very uncomfortable, in any other situation.

''Is he dead? D-did you kill him?'' I stammered and clutched the railing desperately so I didn't fall over from the shock that was ripping through me.

''Well, technically, he was already dead,'' Damon sauntered and put his hands casually into his pockets.

''Damon,'' Stefan barked, untangling himself from his girlfriend. ''Evangeline, are you okay? Are you hurt?''

I opened my mouth, only to close it again, somewhat in a daze. I didn't know how to answer that.

''I-I...'' I began, taking a shaky breath. ''I think that we need to talk.''

Elena glanced at Stefan. ''Yeah, we do...''

''And we will,'' Stefan confirmed, ignoring Damon who was standing in the background and tapping his foot impatiently. ''But you two need to rest first.''

I had gotten past the point where I protested and constantly wanted answers before I did things, so I complied. The fact that I was beyond physically exhausted helped with that – I could barely stand up on my own. My feelings were still all mixed up with everyone else's, and the impact of them had been so strong that the ''barrier'', as I liked to call it, that shielded me from getting those kind of impressions from other people had been broken. I couldn't separate myself from anyone else, and it was driving me mad, but also draining me of every single ounce of energy that I had left.

When we walked out of the house, I couldn't help but look at Elijah's lifeless form. It didn't feel right, the killing. It just didn't. I think it was the way I was, making me so damn emotional all the time, so compassionate.

They had come by car. How they'd found us, I had no idea, but I would ask that question eventually – among many others. But Stefan was right. I wasn't right in neither head or body right now, and any kind of interrogation or conversation, however you want to put it, wouldn't give me anything.

Getting into the car, I finally got to tearing off those god-awful shoes. My pretty dress was ruined, there were tears and dirt all over it, and my hair was a dead ringer for a birds nest. My arms and legs were shaking from the strain of keeping me on my feet, and the cut on my hand throbbed painfully. I was a complete mess.

A complete, filthy, torn up and exhausted mess. Not only did I look dirty, I felt dirty too. The way that other people's feelings entered my body... they weren't supposed to be there.

I didn't utter another word the whole ride back. I didn't sleep, either – I just sat completely still, staring down at my clutched hands. Eventually, my mind went almost completely blank. I think that Elena tried talking to me a few times, but her voice was nothing but a buzzing sound far off in the distance.

I had tried to understand what had happened, but I couldn't make any sense of it. Was this my life now? Running into... vampires, wherever I went? I must be going crazy, everything I thought was normal around me had been turned upside down. I was strange, and always had been, but that was normal for me. This wasn't. This wasn't normal. _What had I gotten myself into?_

* * *

 **Let me know what you think XD … I'm not sure if I'll be able to upload next week, since I have a big exam coming up, but I'm always trying to never let it go longer than every 2 weeks so don't worry!**


	14. Chapter 12

**Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter... whew, I was so nervous! But I'm glad you liked it :) I have this idea that Elijah is intrigued by Evangeline, but it would be a little strange for him to just fall head over heels infatuated with her right away. He kind of needs to know every pawn on the board, you know? (and keep in mind, this was also the first time he saw Elena, so I'd figure he was kind of focused on that). But stay with me and we'll see how it all unfolds!**

 **(Oh, and I figured out too late that the girl dying at the masquerade, you know, the one who hangs around with Jeremy and Tyler, is also called Sarah... Evangeline's Sarah, however, is still alive and kicking – sorry for any confusion!)**

 **Sorry for being kind of late with this one, but enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''When you come out of the storm,_

 _you won't be the same person who walked in._

 _That's what this storm's all about.''_

Haruki Murakami

* * *

I had never seen the Salvatore estate before. It was massive, to say the least. It wasn't like every other mansion in Mystic Falls – there was nothing colonial about it, actually. It wasn't white with tall roman pillars, but made with dark bricks and wood. It had been built back in the early 1900s. The Salvatores used to have a colonial estate from the beginning, just like the Lockwoods, but it was in ruins now.

Everything kind of went by in a blur as Elena led me into the house. I hadn't bothered to put on my shoes again, but that didn't matter. Before I knew it, I was sitting on a leather couch in the Salvatore living room, an blanket wrapped around my bare shoulders, the cut on my hand cleaned and bandaged, and a glass of water in front of me.

My eyes wandered the room. High ceiling, walls covered in dark wood and plenty of antique furniture. It kind of went in a brownish-red theme. There was way too many things going on in that room than I could take in right now, but it looked nice – even though going all groupie on a room wasn't really on the top of my list at the moment.

''How are you feeling?'' Elena asked carefully, like she was treading on thin ice. I didn't come of as that unstable, did I?

''I don't know.''

I stared straight ahead. The fear and adrenaline that had been running through everyone's veins was still very much present in mine. Whenever I activated myself, my whole body was overcome with tiny tremors - so I tried not to move around too much.

''Do you feel like you're ready to talk?''

''I don't know.''

Elena looked to Stefan for help, and he cleared his throat, sitting down on a chair facing my way.

''Is it alright if I call you Evangeline?'' he asked tentatively.

I nodded, slowly. ''We're past formalities anyway,'' I added, mumbling.

''Can I ask you a question?'' I looked up from the spot I've been focusing on for the past minute.

Stefan nodded. ''Sure, anything.''

''I haven't imagined the last hours, have I?''

''Unfortunately, no,'' he crinkled his nose. ''I'm sorry.''

I bit the bottom of my lip. ''Are you okay?'' I aimed my question at Elena, who looked a little startled.

''Yeah, I'm fine, I'm more worried about you, miss- sorry. Can I call you-''

''Sure,'' I cut in and just waved it off. ''We're not in school anyways.'' I let out a heavy sigh, rubbing my temples. My head still hurt a little bit. ''And besides the fact that I've just figured out I'm surrounded by vampires, I'm perfectly fine, thank you.''

''So you know,'' Stefan stated.

I reached out for the glass of water and took a quick sip. I realised that I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink for quite a while. The cold fluid went down my sore throat like smooth silk.

''How much do you know?'' Damon suddenly joined the conversation. He'd been standing by himself up until now, picking up bottles from a table and looking at their labels closely.

''Not enough, probably,'' I mumbled under my breath, keeping my gaze from him.

''How old would you say I am?'' he continued, lifting his arms from his sides and turning his body back and forth as if he was showing himself off.

''Let me guess,'' I said, a bitter taste on my tongue. ''You're old.''

''Well, they...'' Elena began, but Stefan interrupted her.

''I was born in 1846.''

I just stared at him. He lowered his eyes and played with a ring on his hand.

''1839,'' Damon jumped in, smiling slyly and raising his hand. My head snapped towards him.

The only reason I wasn't running for my life when they confessed that they were vampires, was my gut telling me that they could be trusted. And I trusted my gut. I felt like I should say something, but all I could get out was:

''Okay.''

Feeling everyone's eyes on me, I squirmed in my seat, using the blanket to wrap myself up in a cocoon. It was really warm.

''Just okay?'' Elena asked, frowning at me.

I shrugged. ''I honestly don't know what else to say.''

''Um... okay? Do you want to ask anything else or...'' she trailed off.

I didn't know what there was to say or ask about them being vampires. Seriously, I had no idea – so I decided to just leave it at that. I did have other things on my mind though. I brought the glass to my mouth and downed what was left before I asked my next question.

''What's compelling?''

Stefan reached out and grabbed a bottle on the table to fill up my glass again. ''It's a kind of mind control-''

''Oh, please, it's total mind-control,'' Damon scoffed. ''Don't try to sugarcoat it.''

''As I was saying,'' Stefan continued, ignoring his brother, ''vampires can compel humans to do whatever they want them to. Unless they're on vervain, either having it in their system or somewhere on their bodies.''

''That's a kind of herb, right?'' I asked, not completely sure. Stefan nodded.

''But Elijah said...'' I gulped. ''He said that I didn't have any vervain in me. And I'm pretty sure I don't have it on me... so why couldn't he compel me?''

''Yeah, _why is that_?'' Damon mused, with a half smile on his face that looked more like a smirk than anything else.

Stefan rubbed his forehead in annoyance. ''If you could quit being a jerk for just one second, that would really help.''

''I was just asking! It would be really handy, you know.''

''What do you want to know?'' I sighed, exasperated. ''I don't know what I am.''

''You don't?'' Elena looked perplexed.

I shook my head. ''Sorry to disappoint.''

Damon scowled, his electric blue eyes boring into mine. I sighed again, closing my eyes briefly. ''Look, I...'' I swallowed nervously. Should I really tell them about me? Again, I went with my gut. ''All I know is that I am very susceptible to emotion. It's usually only dependent on touch but sometimes, if someone is really scared or something, I can feel that too.''

Elena looked at me. She went to say something, but only ended up opening and shutting her mouth again.

''Really?'' Damon asked in a high-pitched voice. ''What am I feeling _right_ now?''

''I just told you,'' I snapped. He was really starting to get to me, and I didn't like it. I didn't like getting angry – not that I was all sunshine and daisies every second of the day, but it was like my body wasn't compatible with that feeling. Like it tore at me more than other people. Treat people the way you want to be treated went to war with treat people how they treat you in my head. The latter one had the high ground, for sure. ''I can't unless my hand comes in contact with someone's skin or if someone's either really happy or really scared. Or something else.''

I don't think he expected me to talk back, because that seemed to have shut him up. If only for now.

''Back at the house,'' Elena started, pulling her hair behind her ears, ''did you feel something?''

Scratching the back of my neck uncomfortably, I hesitated to answer. Like always, it felt like an invasion of privacy. ''I did... I felt how scared we all were.''

''Do you get like an inkling or-''

''No,'' I shook my head rapidly, interrupting Stefan mid-sentence. ''I feel _everything_. Exactly the way the other person is experiencing it.''

I felt Stefan's curious eyes on me. ''Can you protect yourself somehow? I mean, it must be exhausting if all that's thrown at you.''

''I can shield myself, sometimes,'' I admitted. ''Well, I think I can. But it's like I don't know how to hold the barrier up. And if I'm surrounded by people with a lot of over-the-top emotions, its practically impossible.''

''Hm...'' Stefan looked deep in thought. ''Maybe you have some sort of resistance to it... being compelled? Something in your nature that vampires don't have?''

''I don't know what nature that is,'' I muttered. ''I've spent every night since, forever, and I haven't been able to figure it out.''

''We should probably call Bonnie,'' Stefan concluded. ''She might have something in one of her grimoires.''

I tilted my head in confusion. ''Grimoires?''

''Her witchy potions book,'' Damon chimed in.

''A book that has spells written in it, among other things,'' Stefan explained further.

''Wait, did you say Bonnie? As in, Bonnie Bennett?''

Stefan scratched the back of his head. ''Yeah, she's...'' he cleared his throat. ''She's a witch.''

''This just keeps getting weirder,'' I mumbled, falling back against the couch. ''The thing is...'' I groaned and buried my head in my hands. ''It's kind of great to know that I'm not the only strange thing out there, you know? Even if we aren't the same. But that doesn't mean that... that I feel comfortable with all this.''

''There's nothing wrong with that,'' Stefan consoled. ''Listen, if you want to, I can take you home and we won't bother you.''

I sighed. ''No... no, it's fine. It's just overwhelming.''

''What I don't get,'' Damon began, ''is that not even you yourself know what you are, and you think its us who is weird. Come on, if you figured out vampires exist, why should it stop there?''

''I thought I was alone,'' I glared at him, kind of offended of how he spoke to me as if I were five years old sitting at the grown ups table. ''And I didn't really 'figure out' the whole vampire thing. Not voluntarily.''

''Right, about that,'' Stefan looked a little ashamed, ''Caroline isn't like she was in the beginning.''

''You know about Caroline?'' I exclaimed, but quickly restrained myself. ''I mean, well... of course you would. Never mind. What do you mean 'in the beginning'?'' I quickly quit my babbling.

''Well, when she'd just turned she didn't have control,'' he explained. ''It's very common, but unfortunately you ended up on the other side of it. I'm sorry.''

''Ding ding, next question.'' Damon tapped a spoon on a whisky glass by their bar table.

I brought my hands to my hair and started to undo the mess there; picking out all the pins and trying to untangle everything best as I could. Some pins were pricking my scalp painfully and I just had to get them out. ''What about the moonstone?''

''What _about_ the moonstone?'' Damon smiled.

''Well, what is it?'' I pressed, placing every pin I got out in a pile on the coffee table.

Stefan glanced at Damon and Elena before proceeding. ''It's a component in a curse... the curse of the sun and the moon.''

''It's about yay big,'' Damon put in and measured with his fingers.

''The curse of the sun and the moon?'' I echoed.

''An old curse that made werewolves bound to turn on nights with a full moon and vampires weakened by the sun,'' Elena filled in. ''And the moonstone is a part of breaking it.''

''How do you know all this? And you,'' I turned to Elena, ''how did you get involved in it?''

The corners of her mouth turned up, forming a small smile. ''I met Stefan.''

Of course, how could it be any simpler? She fell for him, and then he just happened to turn out being a vampire.

''The rest of it is kind of a long story...'' Elena continued. ''And maybe we can talk about that some other time?''

I nodded, yawning at the same time. To much of this and my brain would fry.

''And we'll get Bonnie to come, too.''

Suddenly, Stefan's forehead creased and he looked over his shoulder towards the door.

''What is it?'' Elena asked worriedly.

Stefan didn't say anything, he just stood up and let his gaze sweep the room.

 _Whoosh_.

''You,'' Elena's voice was dripping with resentment.

It was Rose. I felt the hairs on my arms stand when her eyes went to me, before they focused on the other three.

''I've come to warn you.'' It was only now I realised that she actually had a British accent.

''You just kidnapped us,'' Elena said through gritted teeth. If looks could kill...

''It's about Klaus,'' Rose continued, completely ignoring Elena and obviously aiming her words at Stefan and Damon. Stefan's frown deepened, and Damon actually looked surprised for a moment, before he collected himself.

Elena's eyes locked with mine when I looked at her. She and I were sitting in the same boat, being completely uncomfortable in this situation. Only a couple of hours ago she'd been holding us hostage, ready to trade Elena off to a vampire that wanted god knows what with her.

Elena looked to Stefan for support, and he seemed to understand. He stood up and walked over to Rose, still keeping a fair distance. ''Come on,'' he mumbled, and gestured for her to walk out with him.

''How can she just...'' I began, feeling very confused, only to quickly be interrupted by an irritated Elena.

''What is she doing here?'' she practically spat. ''And Stefan shouldn't have gone with her by himself, she's older than him!''

I choked on the water I'd just had and quickly placed the glass on the table. ''What?'' I coughed. ''She's older?'' She was a vampire? I'd just been kidnapped, by a vampire?

''She's a vampire too,'' Elena explained, fuming. ''She thinks she can just walk in here and...''

''Calm down, ladies,'' Damon urged half-heartedly. ''He'll be fine.''

I leaned back against the couch. Thankfully, the blanket was large enough to cover most of my bare legs too. I couldn't wait to get out of the dress and into a pair of sweatpants. With Elena pacing and Damon keeping himself busy with drinks, glasses clinking constantly, there was no way I would be able to get some sleep. That was a good thing, I guess... I hadn't let my guard down just yet. Not enough to relax.

* * *

''Okay, you have to understand – I only know what I've picked up over the years, and I don't know what's true and what's not true. That's the problem with all this vampire crap. But Klaus, I know is real.'' Rose seemed convinced of this, yet she didn't convince the two brothers hearing her out.

''Who is he?'' Elena asked from her place on the other end of the couch with her arms crossed, glaring at Rose.

''He's one of the Originals,'' Damon piked in. ''He's a legend.''

''From the first generation of vampires,'' Stefan added.

''Like Elijah,'' Elena breathed.

''No,'' Rose shook her head firmly. ''Elijah was the Easter bunny compared to Klaus. He's a foot soldier. Klaus is the real deal.'' Damon rolled his eyes.

''Klaus is known to be the oldest,'' Stefan explained.

''Okay, so,'' Elena began, frowning, ''you're saying that the oldest vampire in the history of time is coming after me?''

''No-''

'' _Yes_!''

''What they're saying is, I mean, if what she's saying is true...'' Damon rambled.

''Which it is,'' Rose cut in.

''And you're not just saying it so we don't kill you-''

''Which I'm not.''

''Then we're looking at a solid... maybe.'' Damon sounded a little confused himself. That helped a bit with the feeling of not understanding anything. It was almost like being back at that abandoned house, watching Elena with Elijah like I was at the cinema. The only thought running through my mind was – how old was _old_? A couple of hundred years? _Thousands_? When was the dawn of vampires?

''Look, Elijah's dead, right? So if no one else even knows that you exist...''

''Not that you know of,'' Rose grumbled.

''That's not helping.''

''Look, I've never even met anyone who's laid eyes on him,'' Stefan said softly to Elena. ''I mean, we're talking centuries of truth, mixed with fiction. I mean, we don't know what's real. For all we know, he could just be some stupid bedtime story.''

''He's real!'' Rose exclaimed angrily. ''And he doesn't give up. If he wants something, he gets it. If you're not afraid of Klaus, then you're an idiot.''

''Alright, we're shaking,'' Damon cut her off. ''You've made your point.''

Elena abruptly rose from the couch, hanging her bag over her shoulder.

''Where are you going?'' Stefan frowned in confusion.

''School,'' she said shortly. ''I'm late.''

School. Oh no... What day was it? Did I have work that I was missing?

''Let me grab my stuff, I'll go with you.'' He walked up to her, expecting her to say yes. She didn't.

''She's in denial,'' Damon leaned in and said to Rose.

Stefan turned around and glared at him. ''Shut up, Damon.''

The fact that Elena left so quickly told me that she really didn't like Rose, and that she wouldn't forgive her for simply coming here and handing over information, no matter how valuable it might be. And neither would I. I wasn't really a part of all of this – well, somehow I was, but I didn't feel like it. But I wanted to know more – I _needed_ to know more. So if they didn't make sure we discussed this more, then I would, eventually.

''Um... Stefan?'' I spoke quietly, not wanting to draw attention to myself.

''Yes?''

His eyes were lingering at the doorway, probably longing for Elena. She was really short with him, actually, and I didn't know why. But I didn't know them well, either, so who was I to speculate.

''How long were we gone?''

''About two days,'' he answered, turning his eyes from the opening in the wall to me.

I inhaled sharply. '' _Two days_? I have to get home, right now.''

He nodded in understanding. ''Come on, I'll take you home.'' Stefan offered me his hand. I hesitated, and decided to push myself off of the couch instead.

He slapped himself gently on the forehead. ''Sorry, I didn't mean to. I forgot.''

''It's fine.'' I grabbed my shoes in one hand then let him support me out to the car. No skin on skin contact.

On the way home I quickly realised that I – at some point – had lost my bag, and therein my phone. If my mum had called me I wouldn't know – and she wouldn't have been able to get ahold of me. When we finally turned right onto my street and Stefan stopped in front of my house, I started feeling nauseous.

''We'll find a time to talk some more, okay?'' Stefan looked at me from the driver's seat. ''You okay?''

''Yes,'' I said, answering both questions at once, and gulping when I noticed the car in the driveway. I think that my mum was home. Turning back to Stefan, I nervously fidgeted with my fingers. ''Thank you. For... well, for...''

He smiled. ''No problem. Go and see your mum. We'll talk.''

I nodded. ''Bye.''

Getting out of the car, I noticed the front door of my house opening. As I slowly started walking up to the house, the sound of Stefan speeding away in the car behind me, it was really dawning on me. I didn't know if my mum had noticed me being gone. She probably had. And I was terrible at coming up with cover ups on the spot.

How on earth was I supposed to explain this to her?

* * *

 **So... this ended up being way longer than I expected it to be, but consider it me making up for a week with no update :P**


	15. Chapter 13

**200+ followers – thank you guys! :D**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''Strange how paranoia can link up with reality now and then''_

\- Philip K. Dick

* * *

''Where have you been?''

It wasn't unusual for my mother to be overly emotional – just like me, but without all the strangeness. I couldn't tell if she was mad or worried, or both. When two strong emotions were mixed together, sometimes one took over more than the other making it almost impossible to distinguish if there was only one, or two.

''Why didn't you call?''

She faced me with both hands on her hips and a worn look on her face.

''I lost my phone...'' I mumbled and looked down.

''You lost your...'' she spat. ''You lost your phone?'' Putting her hand over her forehead, she looked like she was about ready to pass out. '' _Where have you been, Evangeline_?''

If I had been gone for as long as Stefan said I had, then she had all the right to be mad at me. And knowing that I couldn't say something like I'd spent the last days with Sarah, because she'd most likely been at the Grill, I had to come up with something else, and quick.

''I... I met a guy.''

She raised an eyebrow. ''You met a _guy_?''

I shifted uncomfortably on my feet. Technically, it was true?

''You mean to say,'' my mother began slowly, her eyes piercing my own, ''that you spent the last two days with _some guy_?''

In the history of lame excuses I'd ever made, this one was actually one of the better ones. And that's saying something.

''Look,'' I gulped, ''I met him at the party and we got to talking... and then somewhere down the line I dropped my phone.''

''Well, didn't he have one?''

''I never thought of it...'' I mumbled, closing my eyes briefly.

Mum let her arms fall to her sides in one exasperated and dramatic motion. ''I know that you're twenty years old, but you still live under my roof. And that means that you don't go away for two days without telling me where you are. What if something had happened, huh? What if... what if you were kidnapped, or... or...''

To my surprise, she bought it. Part of me didn't think she would. It stung a little having to lie to her like this, but I didn't know what else to to do.

''I called the school, I called the restaurant, but they said you hadn't shown up,'' she continued frantically. I was scared that if I let her go on, she'd start pulling at her own hair, so I meekly said:

''I'm sorry.''

''You can't do that to me, Evangeline,'' she whispered. ''You can't.'' Her eyes darted downwards. ''Your dress,'' she gasped and looked at the mess I was wearing. ''How did this happen?''

''I'd rather not talk about it,'' I said, unable to come up with another excuse.

She stared at me, her eyes watery. ''This guy... did he,'' she frowned, lip quivering, ''did he...''

Knowing where she was going with it, I quickly held my hand up to stop her. ''Nothing happened. I'm okay, really. I just... I need to go change.''

''Do you promise?'' she pressed, placing her hands firmly on my shoulders. I flinched as her nails dug into my skin.

''I promise,'' I looked her right in the eyes, her eyes that looked so much like mine, and lied to her, and it hurt. Because whenever I lied, it always showed in my eyes, and the fact that I was able to do it now…. It just hurt.

''We'll talk more later. Go get cleaned up.'' She hugged me swiftly and then stepped aside to let me go inside. We didn't say anything else, even though I had a hundred words on the tip of my tongue aching to get out to not have our conversation end with that enormous lie.

* * *

I hurried to the bathroom and shut the door quietly, turning the lock, before sinking down on the toilet seat like a rag-doll.

More than anything, I just wanted to go to sleep, wake up and find that everything was normal again. That I didn't have a special gift that no one seemed to get, that I hadn't just been kidnapped by vampires and that I wouldn't have found out that one of my students was one and another was dating one.

Something was tugging at the back of my mind, though. Part of me felt like I was finally getting somewhere. The fact that Stefan and Elena seemed so dedicated to helping me find out about myself was the most progress I'd done in years. Yes, it sucked that this is how I got to this point, but still; a small part of me was so, so grateful.

I stood up on my shaky legs and went to stand in front of the mirror. It was like I was staring back at myself the same way after I'd been bitten by Caroline. All of the make-up had been smudged, leaving the faint marks on my neck visible again. I groaned – would they just heal already?

Opening the cabinet next to the sink, I grabbed my hairbrush to try and de-nest my hair, grimacing when I began the tedious work of untangling the blonde chaos.

Stepping into the shower, I turned the knob so that hot water scolded my skin after only a couple of seconds. Feeling like I had to rinse everything off, every second of the past couple of days, I emptied half a bottle of shower gel and almost as much shampoo. The warm water eased the tension in my body, and eventually – after standing under the shower head for a while – I finally felt a little bit relaxed.

When I was finished, I pulled my towel close around me and snuggled up in it. I stayed like that for a minute or two. Grabbing the brush, I pulled it through my hair again and decided to leave my hair down. Putting it up would only remind me of how strained it was with all the hairpins poking everywhere.

When I got into my room, the first thing I did was throw the dress on a chair, putting on the nearest pair of sweatpants I could find, along with a way too big t-shirt. The shower had softened up my muscles, but it hadn't taken the exhaustion out of them.

I grabbed my old teddy bear from the shelf he was sitting on and hugged him close, sinking down on my bed. Silly, maybe. But I needed a hug and I didn't want to go to my mum, because she would without a doubt sense that something was wrong. Maybe she didn't have the same abilities as me, but she had the same intuition.

Staying in that position – curled up on my bed tightly gripping my all-time favourite stuffed animal, I looked around me. My room had always been a safe zone, always. The bookshelves covering the walls were comforting. That's practically what I had in my room, books, books and more books. They made me feel safe. Nothing bad had ever really happened to me. Until now.

I sighed. Now it felt like all I did was get myself into trouble. I'd missed two shifts at the Grill, and one class at school. After checking my schedule real quick, I saw that I had an English class booked for the next day. I honestly didn't know if I would have the energy for it.

But, I didn't think that I would be able to sleep either – and still I found myself drifting off quicker than I thought, teddy in my arms and body aching. Sleep finally washed over me like a soft, warm and fluffy blanket, engulfing me and at last giving me some much needed rest.

* * *

I should've called in sick.

The first step onto school property was one of the heaviest steps I'd ever taken... but as always – I needed the money. And for that I could force myself to overcome practically anything.

The only thing I wanted was to get this whole day over with, but the first thing that caught my eye on the school lot had me thinking, that it wasn't going to be that easy.

From a distance, I saw a girl who could be none other than Bonnie Bennett. The apparent witch. She always seemed so sweet in class, maybe a little distant, but nothing more. But, I hadn't known about the Salvatore's either.

She was strolling on the grass with a guy I hadn't seen before, and since it was a small school I knew everyone – if not by name, then by appearance. His skin was a rich caramel and on his lips he had a smile I could see all the way from where I'd stopped. They looked to be deeply engaged in conversation, up until they stopped, facing each other.

I frowned, wondering what they were up to – and I was just about to get my answer. A gust of wind caught my hair and I tucked the loose strands behind my ear. I thought nothing more of it, until I noticed all the leaves whirling around Bonnie and the guy she was with. Knowing what she was, as well as seeing that none of the tree tops were trembling... How did she dare do that out in the open? What if someone spotted them, someone besides me? Sure, I didn't know much about witchcraft in real life – nothing actually – but it still didn't feel like such a good idea to me.

When the windy ''weather'' had calmed down, I scurried from the scene. Lucky me, I only had one class today. Fishing my phone out of my pocket, I jumped when I saw that I only had five minutes to get to class and run by the teachers office to grab some folders.. How long had I watched Bonnie for?

I broke into a light jog and darted between the mass off students walking the hallways at the ring of the first bell. When I got to the office, I didn't think and practically slammed the door open – bumping into Mr. Saltzman in the process. Thankfully the door didn't hit him.

''Sorry!'' I gasped.

He chuckled, pulling his hand throw his dishevelled hair. ''It's fine. You in a hurry?''

I nodded, taking three long strides over to my desk and gathering a couple of folders in my arms. ''I'm a bit late, sorry to barge in like that. I've got to run.''

''Don't worry!'' he hollered after me as I ran past him and towards the classroom.

When I entered I was flustered as can be. My face was probably red and my hair a mess, but what else was new.

''Hey, Miss Moreau, we missed you yesterday!'' Isaac shouted from the back of the room.

''Yes, I was ill,'' I didn't meet his eyes, dumping the folders on the desk. ''Sorry I'm late you guys.''

''You're only...'' a girl named Sophie checked her phone. ''Forty seconds late, Miss Moreau. I don't think that really counts.''

I smiled gratefully at her. ''Thank you Sophie. Still, sorry for barging in like this.'' I let my gaze sweep across the room, noticing quite a few students gone. Elena, for example. And Stefan. And there was no glimpse of Bonnie, either.

Trying not to think too much about it or read anything into it, I got to work. Everything was going fine – I wasn't freaking out, feeling faint or absent-minded. That was until, five minutes into my introductory lecture, someone opened the door surprising me and the whole class.

Caroline Forbes wasn't just student-council vice president, head of the prom committee and resident belle of Mystic Falls anymore. She was something I had nightmares about. She was the scars on my neck that wouldn't disappear.

''Sorry I'm...'' she quieted down when she saw me. ''...late.''

Stefan had said that she was in control now. I trusted him, but the way the human brain works is that a feeling called fear is triggered when stumbling upon something you know to be dangerous.

I couldn't let it show now. I barely nodded my head at her and thankfully she took it as a sign that it was okay to go sit down.

The remaining forty minutes were absolutely terrible. I could almost feel Caroline's eyes on me, but when I dared glance at her she was deeply engrossed in her work.

When the bell rang and the classroom emptied, she lingered behind.

''Miss Moreau,'' she began, thankfully keeping her distance, ''I'm so sorry.''

I had kept my eyes down as long as I could get away with it, but now I forced myself to look up.

''I never meant to hurt you,'' she said in a low voice, keeping her eye on the door in case someone walked in.

All I could muster was to hum in response. She frowned, her blonde curls bobbing up and down when she took a hesitant step toward me, then changing her mind in the last second.

''I'm sorry. I can't talk right now, but please...'' she pleaded. ''Please now how sorry I am?''

''Hmm...''

She smiled at me. It was a sad smile, but I could tell it was genuine.

''I have to go,'' she said quietly. ''I hope we can talk later... so I can explain.''

And with that, she left – lifting her own weight of my shoulders. I finally felt like I could breathe. I knew that I probably had to talk to her sometime soon – especially after what Stefan said.

And I couldn't be scared forever. I just couldn't.

* * *

After school I went to the Lockwood estate to search for my lost purse. The grounds were usually beautiful when they weren't all pampered up for a party and crowded with people, but today they felt eerie.

I got off of my bike and leaned it against a tree, starting my search in the area where all the cars had been parked. I took me less than ten minutes to find it in the ditch by the road, and when I opened it I let out a breath of relief upon finding my phone inside. It wasn't damaged, either.

Then a bird chirped. Normally, I wouldn't react to that, but there was something in the tone of it that made me stop in my tracks and look around.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The leaves rustled gently in the wind and the branches creaked. That's when I realised, that there were no birds anymore. After the chirp I'd heard, everything had gone completely quiet.

If it had been a little spooky before, this made a chill run down my spine. I felt like I was being watched, but wherever I looked, I couldn't find anyone. I nervously walked over to my bike and looked over my shoulder into the woods. There was nothing there.

When I looked up towards the mansion, I could've sworn that I saw the sleeve of a dark jacket disappear behind a hedge further up the road, but when I blinked I realised that it must've just been a bird. I quickly got on my bike and hung my purse over my shoulder, eager to get out of there and back home as soon as possible.

* * *

Later that night I went straight to my room and pulled my teddy bear in for a hug again before putting him back on the shelf. With that hug, I tried to leave all of today's events behind me. Bonnie's magic, Caroline, the Lockwood horror house... all of it. Then I went straight to my computer, brought up the search engine, turned on my auto-pilot, and started to type.

After ten minutes, I stopped.

Something was itching. Not like an itch on the back or leg, but more like something was nagging me from the inside. Looking out the window, I squinted to try and make out anything in the dark. I don't know exactly what it was but... it felt like someone, or something, was watching. Just like before. When some shapes eventually emerged out of the dark, what I noticed made my breath hitch in my throat.

There were the familiar silhouettes of trees, and I could just barely make out the fence surrounding our small backyard as well as the patio furniture mum finally bought last summer after two years of saving up. But I also noted that someone was standing, arms down, by the back gate. I blinked. I couldn't really see if he or she was looking at me, but it sure felt like it. I let out a small yelp and darted behind the curtain, heart beating fast.

Someone was out there. This was it – I'd finally lost it. Hallucinating all day, it surprised me that I didn't feel the sting of my brain slowly dissolving – because my head was mush.

This meant that maybe I had been right about what happened at the Lockwood's earlier today as well. Unless I was seeing things – which I was getting more and more convinced that I actually wasn't – then someone was following me.

But _who_?


	16. Chapter 14

**Sorry it's late :P Merry belated Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all! (and if you celebrate something else or nothing at all, hope you've had a good couple of weeks or a nice holiday!)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''There's nothing worse than waiting_

 _and not knowing what'll happen to you._

 _Your own imagination can be crueler_

 _than any captor.''_

\- Richelle Mead

* * *

No missed calls.

No new messages.

Nothing.

I sighed and put my phone back in my pocket after checking it for what seemed like the hundredth time today. Neither Elena nor Stefan had called me up and it was starting to drive me crazy. I didn't have any work today either, which made the waiting all the more excruciating.

From time to time, on the rare occasions when I had a day off, I realised the extent of which my life was made up of me working. All I did was work.

Lately I'd been hanging out with Sarah more and more though, and that was nice. But she had other things to do today, so I was left at home with my books being my only company. I'd already spent a fair amount on Google today and only the thought of pressing down one more key on the keyboard had me cringing.

My mum was away at work, leaving me alone in the house. So far, I hadn't really had the opportunity to talk to my mother after coming home that night, because when she wasn't working, I was, and vice versa. I knew she was still upset with me. She wouldn't let it go that easy though, I knew she would bring it up again.

I was right in the middle of reading _The Old Man and the Sea_ when I felt the soft and even vibrations of my phone ringing. I quickly got it out and looked at the screen. _Unknown caller_.

Holding my phone up to my ear, I answered. ''Hello?''

''Well, hello,'' a familiar voice said.

''Damon?''

''The one and only. Listen, you wanted a chance to talk, right?''

I nodded before I realised I was on the phone and he couldn't see me. I mentally slapped myself in the face. ''Yeah.''

''I have a proposition for you.''

''And...?''

''Well, it's more like I need a favour. I need you to go to Elena's house and hang with her and little miss witchy for a while.''

I frowned. ''Why do you make it sound like you want me to babysit them?''

''Not them. Her. Elena.''

''Okay... um... why?'' I quizzed.

''They'll probably let you all in on it when you get there.''

''Okay, but-''

''Bye now!'' he said quickly and hung up.

 _Beeeeeeep_.

I sighed. Well, at least I finally got a call.

* * *

I hadn't been to Elena's before. The Gilbert family home was a really pretty house in one of Mystic Falls nicer neighbourhoods. It was bigger than mine, white, with a large porch and lawn.

Walking up the steps to the porch, I raised my hand hesitantly to knock on the door. Seconds later, it opened.

''Hi,'' I raised my hand in an awkward greeting.

I'd only met Bonnie, properly, in school before, so this felt really weird. But I'd gotten through this with almost everyone else in their group, so this shouldn't be any different, hopefully.

''Hi,'' she smiled at me and then looked over her shoulder. ''Um, Elena's a little sour, but come on in.''

''I told you guys I don't need a babysitter, and especially not two-'' an angry voice protested from the living room. Elena stopped talking when she came into the hallway and saw me. ''Oh. Sorry.''

''I'm not here to babysit you...'' I assured. That might've been why Damon wanted me to come, but that wasn't why I was there. ''Damon called and said that this was a good time to come by and talk. I can leave if you want.''

Elena shook her head. ''No, no. It's fine. Let's go to the living room.''

''Hope you don't mind me asking, but why would you need a babysitter?'' I asked as we sat down on the couch.

Elena crossed her arms, visibly annoyed. Not at me, though. ''It's a long story,'' she muttered. ''To make it short... I'm kinda stuck here.''

My eyes fluttered towards Bonnie without me meaning to.

''It's for her own good.''

I had no clue as to what was going on, and Elena sitting there with her arms crossed and an irritated frown on her forehead only told me that she was in a really bad mood.

''I'm lost here, you guys,'' I hinted at them.

''Right,'' Elena sighed. ''Sorry. You wanted to talk?''

''Well...'' Suddenly I didn't quite know what to say.

''Why don't we start from the beginning?'' Bonnie suggested.

So the following hour I learned all about how Elena had gotten dragged into all of this in the first place: how she met Stefan and learned about him and Damon being son's of one of the town's founders; how Bonnie learned from her grandmother that she was a witch; how Tyler Lockwood was a werewolf and then how there could be two ''Elena's'' running around at the same time.

''So I haven't been seeing two of you? I thought I was going mad!''

''Nope,'' Elena grimaced. ''That's Katherine.''

''And she's... stuck under that old church?''

''Mhm,'' she hummed. ''And then there's Alaric.''

I frowned. ''Mr. Saltzman?''

''He's our... what would you call him?'' Elena looked to Bonnie for help.

''Vampire hunter?''

''I'm sorry, what?'' I coughed. As much as that probably was one of the biggest surprises so far, it did explain why he'd been so lenient with Stefan at school. ''Let me just see if I got this right...'' I continued. ''There's witches and vampires, and now there's werewolves and hunters too? What is this, the Hellmouth? How do you guys keep track of all of this?'' I felt myself growing more confused by the second.

Elena smiled, but it looked strained. ''I'm not sure that I am.''

''But this curse... the sun and moon curse?'' Bonnie nodded to confirm that I got it right. There was so much going on in my head right now that I was afraid to mess up or forget something important. It was just so much to take in. ''I just don't get it...'' Feeling my forehead crease, I looked at the two of them in confusion.

''What?'' Bonnie asked.

''What breaks it?

They looked at each other. Bonnie's face had suddenly grown a whole lot more serious than before, but Elena was still as sullen.

''Sacrifice,'' Elena replied shortly. ''Me. The Petrova Doppelgänger.''

''The curse was bound by the sacrifice of Petrova blood,'' Bonnie added. ''There's always got to be balance between things, and the Doppelgänger was created so that the curse could be broken.''

''But Katherine's still...''

''Alive?'' Elena stopped me. I shrugged. In a way, she was. Elena shook her head. ''It has to be a human.''

''And then you need a witch, a werewolf and a vampire. Oh, and the moonstone.''

Suddenly, Elena looked really sad. ''Katherine turned Caroline. She compelled a girl to get Tyler to trigger his werewolf curse. She made all of my friends a part of this. All of this is because of me.''

''It's not your fault,'' Bonnie reminded her, but I could tell that Elena wouldn't hear any of it. She'd made up her mind already, and the determination in her wouldn't let anyone change it.

Bonnie looked to have figured this out as well, so she dropped it, and I didn't mention it again. Instead, we sat in silence for a while, and I used the time to try and process everything.

''But what about you?'' Bonnie said after a couple of minutes.

''What about me?'' I asked.

''We only know the teacher-you,'' she chuckled.

''Yeah,'' Elena piped up. I think she was trying to get her mind of off things, which was good. ''What about your family? Your mum works at the hospital, right?''

I nodded. ''Yeah, I live with her over by Willow Lane.''

''Is she... like you?'' I noticed that everyone – including myself – kept on having trouble defining what I actually was. God, it would feel so good if I could just get a word to use!

''Not exactly...'' I began. ''I mean, she is over-sensitive, so to speak. She feels most things to the extreme.''

''But she can't do all the stuff you can?''

''Pretty sure she can't.''

''What about your dad?''

''He died when I was young,'' I said quietly. ''I never really knew him.''

''I'm sorry,'' Elena looked sad again. She'd lost both of her parent's when she was much older than me, and I couldn't possibly know what she must've felt. I never even knew my dad, I had no memories of him whatsoever.

''And your mum never remarried?'' Bonnie wondered with a frown on her face.

''No... I don't think she could.''

Elena tilted her head. ''How come?''

''She always said he was her soulmate.''

''That's sweet,'' Bonnie smiled. Elena smiled too, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

''Bonnie,'' I began, looking down nervously since I was planning on changing the subject. ''Have you... have you ever heard about anything like me?''

''Well, I'm still kinda new myself,'' she said, ''but I did do some reading.''

''What was it called...'' I tried to remember the word. ''Grimoire?''

''Yup,'' she confirmed. ''Usually there's only spells in them, but I figured I'd look through it anyways.''

''And?''

''The closest I got was manipulative magic,'' she answered, frowning. ''But you're not a witch, so... I don't know.''

''Oh.'' I felt my mouth starting to go dry. I had hoped that I would've found something out, but if even the person who everyone thought of to ask first didn't know anything?

''I'm sorry,'' she apologised.

''It's fine,'' I waved it off. ''Thanks' for looking.''

''Evangeline,'' she paused, pondering if it was okay to call me by my first name or not. ''Can I call you-''

''Yeah.''

She looked relieved and offered me a small smile. ''I'll keep looking.''

''Really?'' I was a little surprised, but in a good way.

Bonnie smiled and nodded. ''Absolutely.'' Then she turned to the clock on the wall and gasped. ''Oh, guys, I've got to go.'' She turned to me first. ''It was nice talking to you, and I'll see if I can find anything.'' Then she turned to Elena. ''Don't go anywhere.''

''It's not like I can,'' Elena sighed heavily and fell back against the couch with a thud and almost dramatically rolled her eyes.

Bonnie said goodbye and then hurried of quickly to god-knows-where, leaving me and Elena in somewhat of an uncomfortable silence at first, until I decided to say something.

''Caroline came up to me at school,'' I said tentatively. ''Does she mean it when she says she's sorry?''

Elena sat up a little straighter and turned her dark eyes toward me. ''You're still scared,'' she stated.

''Wouldn't you be?''

''Fair point,'' she agreed. ''She is sorry though, and she is in control.''

''Really?''

''Yes,'' Elena promised and pulled a stray strand of hair away from her face. ''You should talk to her, if you feel like it.''

I had felt that Caroline was sincere, but it felt better hearing it from Elena too. Maybe I might just muster some courage and talk it through sometime. In the midst of thinking about things that spooked me, another thing quickly came to mind.

''Elena,'' I paused. ''There's something else.''

''What is it?''

Going through way too many ways of putting it, I decided to go with the simplest one. I just wanted to get it out.

''I think someone's been watching me.''

''What?'' she breathed, her eyes widening.

''I mean, it could be the stress,'' I rambled, ''but... I don't think it is.''

''Tell me.''

I told her about going to the Lockwood's and then how someone had been standing outside of our house. ''My instincts are never wrong.''

Her dark eyes filled with worry. ''I believe you.''

''You do?''

She nodded. ''I meant to tell you. Elijah... he's alive.''

I froze. ''W-what?''

''He's not dead. Elijah's not dead.''

I just stared at her because I couldn't form anything else than single syllable words and even those were difficult to get out.

''Rose and I went to follow up a lead, this guy: Slater,'' she began to explain. ''He's the only link we know of to Klaus. But he was dead. And while we were there... I sent a message to tell Klaus I wanted to surrender.''

''You did what?'' I gasped.

''Like I said, it's all because of me.''

I frowned. ''But...'' Now I knew that she felt responsible for everything, but I had no idea that she would be prepared to take it that far.

She didn't listen to me, and kept going. ''And when they came to get me, Elijah came too. He's not dead, Evangeline. And he didn't want them to take me, either.''

''But he _was_ dead,'' I stammered. ''I saw him. He was dead. Like, dead-dead.''

''Obviously Originals can't die if you just stake them,'' Elena grumbled. I was bewildered at the thought, she was just annoyed.

''Well, what does that mean? Why would he just let you go? Didn't Rose say that he was Klaus'... what was it? Foot soldier?''

''I have no idea,'' she confessed. ''You should be careful.''

I gulped. Elijah wasn't dead. He wasn't after me, so I didn't know why was was so freaking scared, but I was. ''Do you think he's been following me?''

''Maybe,'' she pondered and bit her bottom lip. ''He's here for me, I think, but you should still watch yourself. Okay?''

''Mhm,'' my voice turned squeaky and my heart was beating faster than what could possibly be healthy. And after just hearing that, it almost jumped up my throat when I heard the front door open.

''You should really lock your door,'' Damon sauntered into the living room and smiled at us. ''Oh, come on, pouty,'' he drawled at Elena, who sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. ''Least give me two points for ingenuity.''

''Do you think this is funny?'' she said through gritted teeth.

''Yes, Elena,'' his tone was more sarcastic than usual. ''I find hilarity in the lengths that I have to go to to repeatedly save your life.''

''What did Stefan say about this?''

Damon smiled slyly. ''We had a good laugh.''

Elena looked anything but humoured. ''And what did he say about Elijah still being _alive_?''

Damon sat down next to her and placed his arm behind her. ''Yeah, that. I didn't tell him.''

''Why not?''

''Well, A, he can't do anything about it, and B...'' he tried to come up with something but didn't really succeed, ''what I just said.''

I hadn't even realised that Jeremy was home until he came into the living room and Damon asked him where Bonnie was.

''I thought she was meeting you,'' Jeremy replied. ''Hey, Miss Moreau!''

I cringed. ''Call me Evangeline, please.'' Jeremy laughed.

''Bonnie's on moonstone duty,'' Damon claimed and then clicked his tongue with a little nod towards Elena, ''and I'm on Elena patrol.''

''Then who's on Tyler Lockwood and the full moon?''

Damon looked pleased. ''Vampire Barbie asked me if she could handle it, and I said, 'why not'? Because if she screwed up, he'd bite her and then I'll be rid of two of my problems.''

Elena's sullen face suddenly broke into a worried one. ''Hold on a second... tonight's the full moon?''

 _Riiiing._

''Yup,'' Damon fished his phone out of his pocket. _Riiiing._ ''But you're too absorbed with all your suicidal tendencies to notice.'' _Riiiing_. He stood up and walked into the hallway to take the call. ''What?''

The rest of us waited in silence. Jeremy probably didn't know what to say since I was there, and Elena was deeply engrossed in her own thoughts. When Damon came back, he pointed his finger at Jeremy. ''Change of plans. You babysit.''

Elena glared at the two of them, but Jeremy just shrugged. ''Sure.''

''Hey, you know, you should get out, enjoy the sun,'' Damon suggested. ''Oh, wait,'' he added in a whisper and sneered, ''you can't.''

Elena grabbed a pillow and threw it at him as he left. She'd gone between irritated, angry and sad fifty times over in the short time I'd been there, and I was starting to feel more and more sorry for her. Like me, it was obvious that she cared for everyone around her; all of her friends and Jeremy, and I knew firsthand how hard that could be. Caring too much.

''I should probably get going too,'' I said when the door slammed shut behind Damon.

''Evangeline, I know we're just starting to get to know each other, but... stay inside tonight, okay? It's a full moon. And... be careful,'' Elena reminded me. I knew she wasn't only referring to crazed wolves when she said that, and it sent a chill down my spine.

I nodded. ''I will. Thanks' for everything.''

''We'll talk later?''

''Yeah,'' I smiled. ''Take care?'' The question mark at the end made her get my point, that she shouldn't do anything drastic. I knew that we were just in the beginning of what might become a friendship, but that didn't mean that I didn't care.

I noted the hint of a smile on her lips, but she still looked about as irritated as she had when I got there. What I'd learned from these last couple of days was how determined Elena was, so her being stuck and not able to do anything must be torture.

* * *

My mum wasn't there when I got home. It seemed we would never get that proper talk that was needed... not that I was looking forward to it. She would probably ask me all about said 'guy' I'd met – and I couldn't exactly tell her the truth. Like always, I couldn't tell her the truth, and it sucked. The truth sucked. I almost laughed at myself for that one.

I went to my room and left my phone on my desk before throwing myself on the bed. The only positive thing right now was that I felt like I, maybe, had some people to talk to, if they would let me in. The thing was, I didn't know if they let me in their circle because they wanted to know if I was a threat or if they actually wanted to help. I only hoped it was the latter. Feelings and knowing if what someone said was true or not were much easier to interpret – intentions were a whole different thing.

Sitting down in the armchair by my window, I spent the following three hours reading. When the clock got to a couple of minutes past seven, I was just about to get in the shower when I saw the screen on my phone light up.

 _Unknown caller._

Frowning, I answered.

''Evangeline?''

''Elena? What's wrong?''

''Look, you need to watch out,'' she whispered frantically. ''Elijah was just in my house, and he asked about you.''

It was like my blood froze to ice. ''What?'' I breathed.

''He compelled Jenna to let him in, and he said that he didn't want to break the curse. I don't think he's on Klaus' side.''

''Huh?''

''He offered me a deal. He wanted me to just... to do nothing. He promised that he would protect everyone that matters to me. Including you.''

''Wait, just rewind a sec?'' I said flustered. ''Why would he ask about me?''

''Because he doesn't know what you are either...'' she paused. ''He seemed like he was sincere, but how could I know? That's why I'm telling you to stay inside and keep tabs on your mum. If you don't invite him in, he can't come in. I asked him to get Stefan out, if he comes through with that, then...''

''Get Stefan out?''

''He's stuck in the tomb with Katherine,'' her voice cracked when she answered. Before I had the chance to ask why, she continued: ''Jeremy went in to get the moonstone and Stefan got him out, but then he got stuck in there himself. If Elijah gets him out, then maybe he isn't what we thought,'' she finished.

''Then, what, you trust him?'' I almost spat. If I had felt confused earlier, this took the price.

''No, I don't trust him. But we could learn more about his motives. I haven't forgotten what happened to us.''

''Good,'' I said. She might not be too shaken up about it, but I wasn't used to all of this.

''Look, I have to go,'' she said quickly. ''Call me if anything happens, okay?''

I nodded. This habit was getting really annoying. ''Yeah,'' I replied. ''I will.''

''Night.''

''Goodnight.''

When we hung up I immediately went to the window and drew the curtains. And turned of the lamp in the ceiling, leaving only the small lamp on the nightstand lit.

I was overcome by fear again. I didn't care if I trusted what Elena said or not, that only meant that she was convicted of something – not that what she thought actually was how it was.

I was scared of Elijah and what he was capable of. I wasn't as an important part in all of this as Elena, but just getting his attention was too much for me. I'd seen him punch someone's head off, for goodness sake.

And I thought that I was just beginning to get over the whole Caroline-ordeal. The problems just seemed to keep on stacking up, didn't they? Was this it, was I going to have to be afraid to leave my house every day from now on? And it wasn't just that, I was afraid of simply _being in_ my house, after Elena telling me about how vampires could simply compel someone to get in. That meant that my mother would be in danger too.

I groaned and pulled at my hair in frustration. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe he wasn't interested in my powers. Maybe... oh god. This thinking was driving me crazy.

All I wanted was not to be scared, and I thought that I finally had that going for me again. But no, because here cometh the Original vampire to mess everything up!

I changed into my pyjamas and buried myself under the covers. It was too early for me to sleep, so I figured that maybe, if I started now, I could read myself tired. I'd read a lot today. Books always made everything better, and I only hoped they would pull through this night too.


	17. Chapter 15

**Would any of you guys be interested in me putting up the ''soundtrack'', so to speak, for this story? It's basically what I usually listen to when I'm writing... I like being inspired by music and lyrics :P Let me know :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''I don't know half of you half as well as I should like''_

\- J.R.R. Tolkien

* * *

The school was hosting a barbecue today, and even though I wasn't obliged to go there for work, I thought I might go anyways. I'd always liked these things, when the whole town came together. It was usually the school that was on the forefront of making that happen, alongside the mayor's family.

While I was strolling through the mass of people, of course I managed to bump into someone. That's the one thing I'm usually focused on when in crowds – keeping my distance, and not touching anyone.

''I'm sorry-'' I began, but fell silent when I saw who it was.

''Hi,'' the pretty blonde greeted me nervously, but smiling.

The avoiding part of me was just about to leave when the other half decided to open its mouth and toss that plan out the window.

''Hey, can I talk to you?'' I thought my voice sounded shaky, but maybe that was only in my mind.

''Yeah, sure,'' Caroline offered me a small smile. We walked together away from the crowd and sat down on a bench.

''So...'' Caroline said and clasped her hands together, placing them in her lap. She sounded very uncomfortable.

My breath hitched in my throat. ''Yeah...'' I mumbled.

''Like I said, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you – I _really_ wasn't myself. I had no idea what was happening to me and no control whatsoever and I know that's horrible... I never wanted to hurt anyone. Do you believe me? And I mean, I'm friends with Elena... and Stefan. And I heard you've been hanging around, and I really don't want it to be awkward or for you to be scared and-''

''Caroline.''

She stopped.

The thing was, that little speech could almost have been enough to convince me. I mean, Caroline Forbes wasn't known to be a quiet person. The fact that she didn't take a deep breath after that long ramble was a little unnerving, but still.

''I'm not... _scared_ anymore...'' The word tasted strange on my tongue. Like it didn't really fit – which it didn't. ''It's more like... I'm weary.''

She nodded vigorously. ''Sure. Sure, I get that.''

''How do you propose we do this?'' I asked her.

She crinkled her nose in concentration for a second. Then she met my eyes, and when I looked down I saw her hand reaching out to me.

''I can't-''

''Oh, right, sorry,'' she looked ashamed and quickly let it fall down to her side. She lifted it up instead. ''Hi, I'm Caroline. I'm a vampire – who doesn't bite!'' she added quickly.

''Caroline,'' I sighed. ''I'm not sure how this is going to work...''

''You can tell I'm trying though, right?''

''Yes...'' I agreed. ''It's just that it's still a bit much, you know?''

''Of course, yeah...'' she looked at me, a tiny smile on her lips. ''I'll let you take your time. Just... please accept my apology?''

''From what I've learned so far about vampires,'' I took a deep breath, ''you went through something really bad. So, yes, I will. But I can't be friends or whatever just yet... you know?''

Caroline nodded. ''Absolutely. Sure. Tipiti-top.'' She closed her eyes. ''Yeah, I'm just gonna go now.''

''I'll see you,'' I offered.

The tiny smile got bigger, and Caroline turned her eyes to me after standing up. ''See you!''

With that, she went off and eventually disappeared into the crowd.

I took a deep breath. I was trying to tell myself that I'd been through worse – but this was hard in a completely different way. Rose, for example, I only had to tolerate – but Caroline clearly wanted us to get along, maybe as friends, eventually. It was just so freaking hard to overlook the fact that she bit me. When I looked at her, I still saw the dark veins under her eyes and the fangs in her mouth.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when my phone rang. It was Elena.

''Hello?''

''Hi, it's Elena.'' She sounded out of breath, almost.

''Has something happened?''

''You could say that...'' she replied slowly. ''Could you come over? I'm at Stefan's.''

''What is it?''

''It's Rose.''

* * *

I was a firm believer in treating everyone the way you yourself wished to be treated. With some exceptions, of course. If someone was in the middle of killing me, I wouldn't hesitate to fight myself out of it and letting my instincts take over. But this emotional side of me was practically an instinct too, and that's why I always tried my best to be nice to people.

Apparently, new things happened every day around here. Another werewolf had come to town, because they were searching for Tyler Lockwood's deceased uncle Mason – who'd been killed because he was teamed up with Katherine – and now this wolf was on a vendetta. In the midst of all this, Rose had been attacked. Elena told me that a werewolf bite was fatal to vampires, which meant that Rose...

I swallowed and pulled myself out of my thoughts. Somehow it felt as if I was going on a mission to anoint. I had a hard time understanding how they all kept track of everything that happened them.

Sending a quick text to Elena that I was there, I leaned my bike against a tree outside. When I got to the front door I got a beep telling me that I could just walk in.

It was always strange going into someone else's house without them being there. I figured the bedrooms were upstairs, so I went up to look for Elena.

''I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry!''

The agonising moans led me through a hallway and into a large room that was either Stefan's or Damon's. There being nothing there but a bed and a bath, had me thinking it was Damon's.

Elena stood by the edge of the bed talking to Rose, trying to calm the crying woman down. When I entered the room, Rose swirled around in the blink of an eye and stared at me. Her face was grey and her forehead glazed over with sweat.

''You,'' Rose pointed a shaky finger at me. ''Elijah won't forget you.''

I frowned. ''What do you mean?''

''He took an interest in you,'' she said. ''He always aims to know all players in the game, and now you're one of them.''

I gulped, looking to Elena desperate for help, not knowing how to act around Rose when she was this ill. Elena got her to lie down in the bed and began tucking her in under the covers. ''Rose, you need to rest.''

''I'm scared,'' Rose voice sounded meekly from the bed.

''You're not alone,'' Elena promised. ''We're right here.''

''Here,'' Rose sat up a little and looked around with a bewildered look on her face. ''Where's here?''

Elena leaned over and put her hand comfortingly on Rose's shoulder. ''Damon's bedroom. You're in Damon's bedroom.''

Rose started breathing rapidly. ''I want to go home.'' Elena threw a glance at me. She looked tired and like she'd rather be anywhere else then here. Where was Damon? Was Stefan still stuck in the tomb?

''Tell us about it,'' I urged, sitting down on the edge of the bed, trying to get Rose to think happy thoughts. ''Your home.''

Rose stared into nothing, but she had at least calmed down. ''St. Austell,'' she got out after a little while. ''Thirty kilometres south of London.'' She leaned her head back against the pillow. ''All fields and trees and horses.''

''That's beautiful,'' Elena whispered. It did sound nice.

''When you live long enough everything disappears,'' Rose continued bitterly. ''So much time wasted. I just wish I hadn't been so afraid.''

''Can you do something?'' Elena whispered to me. ''With your... you know. Can you make it easier somehow?''

I froze. This was what I'd spent most of my life avoiding, using my abilities. I didn't want to, and every time I did it was an accident.

''Look, I don't know if I...''

I was struggling for words. I'd always thought of it as bad. Every cell in my body instinctively told me not to do anything, because I didn't know if I could control it or not.

But then I heard Rose moan in pain. I looked at Elena and her hopeful dark eyes, and then to Rose lying sick in the bed. A thought popped in my head that maybe, maybe I could help people too. I didn't know if I could focus enough to control it – I'd never given it a proper try before! What if I only ended up making things worse?

For some reason I was brought back to when I'd touched Caroline and she'd collapsed at my feet. ''I might be able to get her to sleep, if she wants,'' I mumbled to Elena. I had no idea how I was able to do it the first time, since it was in the heat of the moment and life-or-death, but I figured that I might as well try. If I could ease her pain then I wanted to, I decided.

I don't think Rose could hear me, but Elena nodded in agreement. ''She needs to rest.''

Taking a deep breath, I moved up a little on the bed so I was closer to her. Before I did anything, I tried my best to calm myself. If I was nervous, then she might feel it too when I touched her. Because I spent more time avoiding touching people than practising to control it when I actually did, I was never quite sure how it would go. I reached out one hand and put it on top of hers. She was already quite calm, but I felt her thoughts clear and they became more of a constant stream rather than mumble jumble. Biting into my lip, I tried to focus on what I wanted. I wanted her to sleep, to rest, and to get an escape from her consciousness for a little while.

I wasn't sure if she actually was asleep until the silence in the room was broken by a soft snore.

''Huh,'' I let out a surprised sound. It actually worked...

Opening my eyes, I looked to Elena – who for once looked baffled at something. I was slowly getting used to her not really reacting to anything with surprise or fear, but this time she actually looked like she couldn't believe her eyes.

''That's amazing,'' she whispered.

''I think it'll hold for a while,'' I chewed my inner cheek. ''Then she'll wake on her own. I haven't really tried this before, but I have a feeling.''

''How do you know what to do?'' Elena asked.

''I don't,'' I admitted, scratching the back of my neck. ''I just had a feeling.''

''It's all feelings with you, huh?'' she chuckled.

''Yup,'' I grimaced. I glanced at Rose. ''Is she okay?''

Elena shook her head gently. ''She's only getting worse. She tried to kill me earlier... thought I was Katherine.''

''Seriously, how do you do this?'' I blurted out, gawking at her.

''At one point you just get used to it,'' she replied, a distant look in her eyes.

''I suppose,'' I mumbled, ''but it isn't it difficult?''

She shrugged. ''It's still all because of me, so...''

''Not everything-'' I began, but Elena interrupted me quickly.

''Hey, it's kind of late. Do you want me to walk you home?''

So she didn't want to talk about it, I got it. We weren't really close yet anyways, so I didn't blame her.

''No,'' I waved her off. ''It's fine, I've got my bike. Thank you though.''

''Be careful?''

I nodded. ''Always am these days.''

* * *

It took a while to get home from the Salvatore house. Say what you want about riding a bike, at least it was good exercise.

I had a feeling that Elena didn't like what she'd gotten herself into right now. Or, thrown into, however you want to put it. She said that it was all happening because of her, that it was her fault that everyone around her was in danger. I got that. Not that I agreed with that it was her fault, because she didn't chose her heritage, but I got what she was feeling. Maybe it was because she and all of her friends were so close that they refused to see both sides, I don't know. But getting her, didn't mean that I agreed with her sacrificing herself and whatever else she might have cooked up in her head.

In the upcoming junction I had to turn left to get on a road that would eventually cross with the street where I lived. The only thing lighting the road were some scattered lamp posts, I couldn't see or hear any cars.

I was just about to turn, when I looked ahead of me where the road continued forward.

I crashed surprisingly quietly. The bell rang faintly when my bike hit the ground, but when I landed on the hard asphalt it was like throwing something onto the covers of your bed. I didn't go into shock, and I didn't feel the pain yet – but judging by the feeling of something trickling down my chin I had definitely hurt myself – my only focus was getting up again so that I could see if he was still there.

He wasn't.

But I hadn't hallucinated. I was done thinking that that was what was happening to me. I refused to believe it.

''What do you want...?'' I whispered into the dark. That was about when I started to feel pain radiating from the right side of my face. I gingerly touched it with my hand and winced when I saw tiny trickles of blood on my fingers.

My bike really had taken the fall for me, though. When I leaned down to inspect it, the wheel was all misshapen and I wouldn't be surprised if something had punctured the tube as well. Great, no I had to walk home.

Picking my bike up, I began the slow and stiff and sore-from-falling journey back to my house. Now I had to walk everywhere until I got this fixed, unless I could take the car.

Half-staggering home, I got to thinking. Why was I so interesting? I didn't get it... I had no role in all of this. Why was he following me around, of all people? It was Elena he was here for, so why did he waste his time on me? No matter what Rose had said, I didn't feel like a pawn in a game.

It was an eerie feeling, that a – what, a couple of hundred years at least – vampire could be wherever I went. It wasn't something I felt good about, to put it that way. In fact, it scared the life out of me.

* * *

The lights were on when I got home. _Right, my mum didn't have the night shift today._

If I bothered to try and sneak by her it would probably make her even more worried than before, so instead of doing that I went straight into the kitchen where she was sitting with her worn out laptop and drinking coffee.

When she heard me come in, I saw her eyes look up, her smile turning into shock when she actually saw me.

''Oh my god, Evangeline!'' she gasped rose quickly and grabbed my face gently to look closer at my cheek. ''What happened?''

I twisted myself away from her for a moment and took at look in the hallway mirror. ''Oh,'' I said surprised. ''It's worse than I thought.''

Falling had gotten me a nasty scrape on my right cheek and part of my chin. By the looks of it there was a bit of gravel, too.

When I turned back to my mum, her mouth was twitching. ''Is someone hurting you?'' she blurted out, her grey eyes boring into mine.

''Oh my god, mum,'' I gaped at her. ''No!''

''Well, what do you expect me to think?'' she exclaimed. ''One minute, you come home after being gone for several days looking like you were run over by a car, and now this?'' She sighed. ''Honey, I can't help but worry.''

''Mum, I fell with my bike,'' I declared in a low voice. ''I swear. I you want proof, the tire's all messed up. I had to walk it home.''

''It's just...'' she murmured. ''I've barely seen you this week and I feel like I don't know how you are, or what you're up to...'' she trailed off. She surprised me by pulling me into a tight hug. ''I love you.''

''I love you too,'' my voice was muffled against her shoulder. When she finally let me go and I could breathe again, she took a closer look at my face.

''Thank god there's not too much gravel,'' she muttered. ''Come on.''

She ushered me towards our downstairs toilet.

''I can do it myself,'' I protested.

''I know. Come on.''

It was probably for the best that I just followed her orders. When my mother went into her work role she was a force to be reckoned with. She was kind, but firm. You didn't object when she told you to do something.

She grabbed a first-aid box we stored in a pantry underneath the staircase on the way. I sat down on the toilet as she started rummaging through it for sanitizer and cotton pads.

Having a nurse for a mum was an experience in itself, but I was used to it by now. She didn't even warn me about the sting, she just started her work. She'd brought a clean sponge and started rubbing out the gravel. Then she ordered me to go to the sink and rinse my face.

''So, is he nice?'' she mumbled whilst padding my face softly with cotton pads.

''Huh? Oh,'' I realised. ''Um... yeah.''

''When can I meet him?'' _Hopefully never_.

''Well,'' I gulped, not knowing how to answer that. ''Not yet?''

She eyed me closely. ''But you're fine?''

''Yes,'' I breathed out. ''I told you.''

She only hummed in response, getting up to wash her hands.

''You might get a little blue in a day or two,'' she said. ''I would advise against make up.''

''I'm going to look like a ghost, but fine.'' I didn't wear much make up anyways, but whenever I went without a little coverup I always had dark circles underneath my eyes.

''You wanna watch some TV?'' she asked hopefully. I knew she wanted to spend time with me, and I guess I wanted to just be with her and watch some crazy reality show for an hour or two and just get my mind off of things.

If someone were to ask me what normal was, I'd say watching TV with my mum. Because then, we where just a mother and daughter laughing at stupid people on television and there were no strange abilities involved. It was great.

* * *

I was sitting by my computer when Elena called me for the second time in one day.

''Rose is dead.''

Sinking down in my chair, I let out a heavy breath. I didn't know what to say, or think.

''I'm sorry for the other day,'' she changed the subject almost immediately, and I to be honest I was a little bit glad that she did.

''I was just mad,'' she continued.

''Don't worry, I get it.''

''I just feel like I can talk to you, you know? It's easy, talking to you.''

I smiled. ''I get that a lot.''

''This is kind of weird, isn't it?'' she asked.

''What?''

''You kind of still feel like our teacher. But you're only what, a couple of years older? So it shouldn't feel so strange.''

''Yeah, I'm kinda feeling that too,'' I admitted with a laugh. ''But I have the last couple of English lessons next week, cause Mrs. Cooper's coming back.''

''Oh, okay... Have you talked to Caroline yet?''

I nodded and immediately sighed at myself. ''Yes, I did.''

''And?''

''I don't know...'' I pondered. ''We'll see.''

''Okay...?''

''I should probably go to bed,'' I cut the conversation short. ''It's been a long day.''

I could hear Elena shuffling with something on her end. ''Yeah, me too.''

We said good night and I hurried to take a quick shower before I buried myself beneath warm covers in my bed.

This day had been crazy. With everything that had happened, all I wanted was to sleep. And for once, I fell asleep quickly.


	18. Chapter 16

**Thank you for all your kind comments you guys :) I put the playlist on my profile, if anyone wants to check it out (and I'm going to quote some of the songs in later chapters).**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''Don't Panic''_

\- Douglas Adams

* * *

Sunday morning – I wanted to go for a walk. I was scared to go for a walk. Therefore, I ended up staring out the window instead. The trees were gorgeous in red and yellows like every year when autumn was in its prime.

Not wanting to go outside didn't work too well with the fact that I had to work at the Grill all day, but I knew I had to go. I glanced at the back gate for a second. There was no one there, I told myself, but the silhouette of someone standing there was etched in my mind.

Putting on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt for work I quickly checked the time. I didn't start until noon, but if I had to walk there then I didn't have much time to spare.

I went into the bathroom to rinse off my face and was met by my reflection in the mirror. My face had already turned a bit blue. It wasn't too bad though. What concerned me more was how tired I looked and how limp my hair was. I was surprised that mum hadn't really commented on it either – but on the other hand, she was used to _both_ of us working too much.

''Ev, honey, are you up?'' my mother yelled from downstairs when I was finished in the bathroom. Without answering, I just walked down the stairs instead. She was in the kitchen doing the dishes from yesterday.

''How's the scrape?'' she asked when she heard me coming in.

''Okay, I guess,'' I replied and grabbed an apple that I started munching on.

She dried off her hands. ''Here, let me see.''

Submitting myself to her exam, she gently turned my head towards her and inspected at me closely. Then she gave me a pat on the shoulder telling me she thought it looked okay, before she got back to the dishes.

I sat down and ate my apple in silence.

''Do you want me to drive you?'' she asked over her shoulder.

I swallowed before answering. ''Yes please.''

''Is it twelve?''

I hummed to confirm and continued chewing.

I was really grateful. _Sigh_. I had to get my bike fixed. Sometimes the smallest tasks were the hardest, honestly.

* * *

When I got to work, I went to my locker and found Sarah there putting her apron on.

''Hey, you working today too?'' she smiled happily. ''Where've you been?'' She gasped when she saw my blueish face. ''Oh my god, what happened?''

I pulled the tie out of my hair and redid my pony tail so that it wasn't so sloppy-looking. Putting my apron on too, I met her gaze. ''Had a bit of a... '' I paused. ''Don't really know what to call it. And then I fell with my bike.''

''Looks like it hurt,'' she said.

''Nah,'' I shrugged. ''Not too bad. My bike's a complete mess though, I had to get my mother to drive me here.''

''Wow, that sucks,'' Sarah frowned. ''By the way, your mum asked for you.''

''Yeah, I know, she told me,'' I said. I was beginning to get the feeling she wouldn't stop fishing just yet. She was overly curious by nature.

''Were you somewhere interesting?''

''Girls!'' a voice shouted from the doorway. _Saved by the Roberta_. ''I need you out there!''

I quickly tossed everything into my locker and closed it.

''She's going crazy,'' Sarah whispered to me. ''Apparently we're undermanned, _even though_ they brought in extras.''

* * *

There was a memorial being held in the town square for those who'd been killed recently. Some of them were victims of Rose just before she'd died, others, I didn't know. I hadn't really reacted to how many people actually got hurt in this town until I got involved in all of this.

The Grill was busier than usual. It was a Sunday, sure, but the memorial probably had something to do with it too. Carol Lockwood had planned it very quickly, basically in one day – and the whole town square was crowded with people who wanted to pay their respects. Pete had even set up a table inside the restaurant for people to put flowers and candles.

We were five working the tables; Sarah, Matt and I as well as two other girls who I hardly ever saw. They were probably called in for emergencies like this one.

I didn't really have time to stop and talk to people, except for taking orders, and I didn't keep track of who was coming and going either. I was actually kind of happy about that, because that meant that I didn't have any time to think or ponder about Elijah and that whole situation. Working was a much needed break.

Darting between the tables I grabbed finished dishes and asked if people wanted refills or anything else by pure automatism. I was in such a rush that I didn't even see that it was Jenna and Mr. Saltzman I was taking orders from.

''Oh, hi!'' I gasped in surprise. Then I immediately remembered Jenna taking a trip to the hospital after that knife accident. ''Hi, Jenna, how are you?''

''Fine, thanks','' she smiled. ''How's your mum?

''She's good,'' I looked to her company. ''Mr. Saltzman.''

''Evangeline,'' he said in greeting. I bet he knew all about me knowing all about him. The fact that he didn't say something had me guessing that Jenna was probably being kept out of all of this, which sounded like a good idea.

''What can I get you guys?'' I said and grabbed the notepad from the pocket in my apron.

''I'll take the burger,'' Jenna said, who'd obviously made up her mind quickly. ''And water.''

Mr. Saltzman nodded in agreement. ''Yeah, me too.''

''Sure thing!'' I smiled and stuck the pencil behind my ear and walked off to deliver the order to the kitchen.

It was strange, seeing Mr. Saltzman now. I mean, there was no way I could ever look at him with the same eyes again – Alaric Saltzman, vampire hunter? I shuddered. All these new things being thrown at me had me constantly wondering if people actually were who they claimed to be.

* * *

The hours ticked by. I'd started working at around noon and now the clock was almost six. The place had been completely filled all day, and it was only now that the crowd started to thin out.

''Boy, am I gonna need a massage after this,'' Sarah complained and sat down on a chair behind the counter, rubbing her lower back in slow, circular motions. ''Those breaks we're allowed aren't helping.'' She yawned and looked at me. ''How are you even still standing?''

I shrugged. ''Maybe because you take your car everywhere and I have... sorry, had, my bike?''

''Right, when are you going to get that fixed?''

''As fast as possible?'' I said hopefully. I was thinking about bringing it in tomorrow, cause the place is closed on weekends.''

Sarah gave me the thumbs of from where she was sitting, before her face wrinkled in annoyance. ''I have to get back to work now, don't I?''

''Yep,'' I chuckled. ''But come on, we've only got two hours left.''

''I don't want to,'' she groaned, but she went anyway. I let my eyes sweep across my tables and found that Jeremy and Bonnie had sat down at one of them.

From the small amount of time I'd spent with Bonnie, I'd found out that she was really nice. And considerate. I mean, she didn't just assume that I would understand everything right away.

''Hey, Ev!'' Jeremy apparently decided to go with the nickname most people who knew me called me by – except for maybe my mother. I didn't mind.

I met his big grin with a smile of my own. One couldn't help but be affected by Jeremy Gilbert when he was happy.

''Hi, Jeremy – Bonnie,'' I smiled at the both of them. ''Nice to see you.''

''How are you?'' Jeremy asked. ''I mean, with everything that's been going on.''

''Okay, I guess,'' I said slowly, making a face.

''I hope they haven't been too intense,'' he chuckled and threw a glance at Bonnie.

''Hey!'' she reached over the table and slapped his arm.

Laughing, I grabbed my pen from behind my ear and brought out the notepad. ''What can I get you guys?''

While I wrote down their orders, Jeremy continued chatting casually. I noticed that he still had faint marks on his neck, they looked just like mine, from when he'd been crazy – or brave – enough to go into the tomb where Katherine was.

It was the smallest things, like the marks on Jeremy's neck or the mere sight of Mr. Saltzman – or just anyone with a scarf around their necks, that made me painfully aware of what was out there in the world.

''Hey, you there?'' Jeremy waved his hand in front of my face.

I blinked. ''Yeah.'' I cleared my throat. ''Sorry?''

He chuckled. ''Don't work too hard. You've been here a while already, haven't you?''

I nodded. ''Yeah, I guess. I should go drop this off,'' I pointed at the note in my hand, ''so you guys can get your food.''

''We won't keep you,'' Jeremy smiled. ''It was nice to see you.''

''You too,'' I smiled back at the two of them and scurried off to leave the note to Pete.

As it got closer and closer to the end of my shift, the amount of people started to drop as well. When I'd finally gathered my last glasses, I hurried to get out of my apron and finally go home. As I was untying the ribbon behind my back, Sarah came into the locker room and collapsed with the loudest sigh I'd ever heard. I would've laughed, if I weren't so beat myself.

''That was literally the worst day?''

I hummed in response, busy folding my apron.

''Hey, do you want a ride home?''

''Wouldn't it be a detour?''

''Nope,'' she said, popping the p. ''Come on, let's go.''

* * *

''No, no, no,'' she yelled. ''Come on!''

The engine rumbled one last time, before some very disturbing noises could be heard and then it just shut itself down.

''Well, that's just peachy,'' Sarah muttered sarcastically. ''I'm sorry, Ev.''

''Don't worry about it,'' I said. We weren't far from my house, but Sarah's car had broken down in the middle of the street. ''We should probably call someone.''

''Or knock on a door somewhere,'' she suggested. We were on a street with lots of houses.

''I don't know anything about cars,'' I said, a bit ashamed. I had a driver's license, after all, and I should know how the car in itself worked and all that. Except, I didn't.

''Me neither,'' she confessed. ''I just drive.''

We burst into laughter at the same time.

''Well... I'll do whatever you want to do,'' I continued after collecting myself, looking at her expectantly.

''Okay, then let's just call someone.''

She was just about to pick up her phone when there was a knock on the window. We both shrieked at the same time and I practically felt my heart leap into my throat. I couldn't see who it was, because it was on Sarah's side.

''Don't open!'' I whispered frantically, but she seemed to think that it was okay.

''Hello. I live just over there and noticed your car breaking down, and I thought I'd come see if I could be of assistance.''

I knew that voice.

''Sarah, Sarah, pull down the window,'' I urged her, desperately reaching over her body to try and reach the button on the door.

''What are you talking about, it's fine?'' she looked at me like I was crazy. ''I've seen him around before.''

''No, you don't-'' I tried, but it was no use. Sarah had already gotten out of the car to speak with him.

''Ev, come on,'' she called through the still open window.

The only reason I got out of the car was to make sure that Sarah was okay. That was the only reason. My instincts told me to stay in the car, and if not that, run.

''Hello,'' I heard a melodic voice say from in front of the car. I was scared to look at him. Ever since being kidnapped, I'd only thought I'd seen him. I had decided not to pass it off as just hallucinations, but this still wasn't the same. If I looked at him, then it would truly become real.

''Ev, this is Elijah. He's gonna take a look at the car,'' Sarah explained. ''So that we can get home.'' She looked at me pointedly.

I finally dared to raise my gaze, and there he was.

Elijah.

He was wearing what looked like the exact same outfit as last time I saw him – a dark suit jacket and shirt, and his dark hair combed neatly. _He doesn't live here, he couldn't._ _But what do I know? Maybe he does, maybe he..._

''Pleased to make your acquaintance,'' he nodded, the hint of a smile on his lips.

I didn't answer. I must've gone into shock or something. Sarah nudged me in the side. ''What's up with you?''

''Let me take a look at your car,'' Elijah said, and lifted the hood in one swift motion.

My instincts were still telling me to run – but Sarah had no idea. She was still giving me worried looks, probably thinking I'd gone mad. _And I couldn't tell her what it was._

''You would most likely be best off calling for a mechanic.''

I bet he didn't even look at the engine, he just opened the hood.

''Okay, great, then let's do that. Sarah?'' I rushed around the car, not turning my back against him, and opened the door to the drivers seat for her.

She stared at me, and I stared right back, not budging. ''Fine.''

But before she got into the car she looked to Elijah with a smile and thanked him.

''I sincerely hope help will arrive soon,'' he smiled back at her. Gosh, he looked almost human.

When I finally dared meet his eyes again, he looked right back at me, lifting his chin a little. ''Have a good night.''

I kept my eyes on his back until I couldn't see him anymore.

''What was that about?'' Sarah hissed.

''I-I...'' I gulped, trembling. I was being backed up against a wall and didn't know what to say.

''Seriously, he was being perfectly nice?''

''Look, let's just call someone.''

* * *

Sarah made the call, and we had to wait for about twenty minutes until a tow truck came and got her car. Me, refusing to walk home, managed to get offered a ride to my house and then Sarah went with the mechanic and her car.

We didn't talk much, mostly because I was in what I guessed was a shock. I'd just not just seen, but met, Elijah. And he'd appeared and went away so quickly. Just like all the other times – except, this time, he didn't just watch me.

I thought that I had forgotten his voice, but when I heard it again, it was like the day in that horrible old house came all back. He hadn't done anything to hurt us, but that didn't matter. Just the fact that I somehow seemed to have gotten stuck with him – because he had some master game plan that made him want to know every player in that game – made a cold shiver dun down my spine.

When I got home, I ran into the house, locked the front door, and then hurried up the stairs and into my bed. I sent a quick text to Elena:

 **Just ran into Elijah.**

I waited and I waited, but I didn't get any answer. Eventually, I was practically drenched in cold sweat, but my phone hadn't lit up at all. I desperately threw it on the rug beside my bed.

I started wringing my hands. I could feel my heart beating in my ears and it only went faster, and faster. Shivering, I thought that an extra blanket might help, but it didn't. My breaths were getting shorter and more ragged and the sound of the sweep hand on the clock on my wall stressed me up even more, for some reason.

I'd never had a panic attack in my whole life, but this was as close as I think I'd come to one. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where to look, what to think, if I should sit or lie down and everything was chaos in my head and I couldn't sort any of it out.

Eventually, being after about ten minutes or so, my breathing calmed down.

I was still scared. I had barely been aware of throwing my phone away, so I slowly, with a trembling body and shaking hands, bent down to pick it up. It wasn't broken, thankfully.

At first, I had trouble making out what the screen said. All I could tell was that it lit up – but after a few seconds my eyes managed to make out that I still hadn't received an answer from Elena.

Putting it away, I gingerly brought my knees up and hugged them close. I tried to take as deep breaths as I could, in through the nose and out through the mouth.

I didn't know what to do.

I really didn't.

* * *

 **Yeah, I know - a little strange... But hopefully it will make sense in the long run :P**


	19. Chapter 17

**Hi everyone... I've had a really bad past month, that's why I've been MIA. To make a long story short, I've been really sick and went to the hospital two times, and I've had to put everything on hold for a while. I'm recovering, though – hopefully. So, that's why I haven't updated in a while.**

 **Oh, by the way, 300+ follows! Thank you so much :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''It takes a fool to remain sane''_

\- The Ark

* * *

''Evangeline, you need to get up – you don't want to be late for work!''

Mum wasn't working today, but I was. That is, if I could get out of bed sometime soon. I hadn't gotten much sleep. By now, I'd been awake for over an hour, just staring at the ceiling with my security blanket of a teddy bear in my arms, and thinking about last night. I still couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I'd been victim to a blitz-visit from Elijah. Out of all the ways he'd make contact, he chose that moment? Why?

I really needed to get myself together.

The way I'd reacted last night, it must've been shock. I never lost it like that, never. I think that it was the fact that I knew how dangerous he was, and that I didn't know what to expect from him. It was the not-knowing that had me going crazy. I mean, I didn't even know if he'd kept his word and gotten Stefan out of the tomb...

I finally mustered the strength to roll over and reach out for my phone. Still no text from Elena. I sighed, rolling back onto my back again.

The only other number I had was Damon's and I really didn't feel comfortable talking to him. I knew that I wasn't really a part of their group – but this was making me anxious... the not knowing anything.

''Evangeline!'' my mother shouted again and knocked hard on my door.

''I'm coming,'' I mumbled and rolled over, burying my head in my pillow. I stayed like that for a minute, and then I basically just kept on turning and fell straight out of bed. I stood up and brushed myself off. I really needed to get some vacuuming done in here.

When I got downstairs, mum was sitting by the table having her usual ten o'clock coffee.

''You should cut down on your coffee consummation,'' I commented and dragged myself across the floor to get a bowl of cereal. How was I going to get through this? I was beginning to feel like I had a headache coming on, too.

''And you look like you could need some coffee,'' she retorted. ''Are you tired?''

I nodded slowly. Sitting down next to her, I began munching on my petite breakfast. I could see mum's eyes drifting from the morning paper to the bowl in front of me.

''Don't forget to eat.''

''What does it look like I'm doing?''

Mum sighed. ''You know what I mean.''

I kept my eyes down, avoiding her gaze. ''I know. Sorry.''

''Do you want me to drive you?''

''Sure,'' I answered shortly.

She immediately put the paper down completely and took one last sip from her coffee mug before putting that down as well.

''Okay, what's wrong?''

Yeah, I was for sure getting a headache. I placed my fingers on my temples and rubbed slowly.

''Are you sick?''

I shrugged, finally meeting my mother's concerned eyes. ''Headache.''

It was often quite obvious when I had had enough of something, or if I was feeling under the weather. At least if I was around people I was completely comfortable with. Like now, I usually resorted to one-word-sentences.

''Do you need some aspirin?'' my mother frowned. I shook my head. Maybe it would pass. Hopefully.

Mum rose from her chair and walked out into the hallway. I could hear her rummaging through our medicine cabinet and when she came back the pushed a small carton in my hand.

''Bring this,'' she ordered, ''in case you need it.''

''Thanks,'' I mumbled.

When mum went to get dressed so she could drive me to work, I glanced out the window. It was raining. Normally, I enjoyed rain, but not when I had to bicycle in it to get to work and home.

Mum and I both sprinted to the car and slammed the doors shut as soon as mum had gotten dressed and I'd fetched my coat.

''I can drop your bike off at the shop if you'd like,'' mum offered and glanced at me from the driver's seat.

''Oh,'' I said in surprise. I'd actually forgotten about that. ''You don't have to...''

''Don't worry, honey,'' she smiled at me and then turned her eyes back to the road in front of us.

I was quiet for the rest of the ride. Mum tried to start a few conversations, keeping on asking me how I was. I didn't know what to answer, and I didn't have the strength to answer, so after only getting a few short answers she gave up.

* * *

Business was slow today, because it was work and school hours. On weekdays, we usually had a few people in for lunch and then some strays picking up coffees or something else to go. Not many actually sat down and had a drink or meal.

So, what I basically did for money on days like these – besides waiting on eventual customers – was sit by the bar and try to look like I wasn't falling asleep from boredom. And this was _after_ walking around the tables and making sure the cutlery and salt and pepper cellars were perfectly aligned to the edge of the tables. If I had known how to make swans out of napkins I would have.

Obviously, when I had nothing to do, neither did the rest of the staff. At least I wasn't alone. It was only me and two others working, and I was the only waitress.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice Pete nudging my shoulder before he did it a second time.

''Hey, there's a guy over there, don't fall asleep,'' he chuckled.

''Huh?'' I blinked.

Pete grabbed the top of my head and turned it towards one of the tables by the far edge of the restaurant. He was right, there was someone sitting there, but I couldn't see who it was.

''Oh,'' I made a surprised sound. Collecting myself quickly, I stood up and tightened my pony tail. ''Sorry. Thanks. Um...''

Pete looked at me with a worried look in his eyes. ''Hey, you okay?''

''Yeah,'' I forced a smile. ''Yeah, just tired.''

''I don't blame you,'' Pete replied with a grin. ''It's dead here.''

Pete headed back into the kitchen, and I managed to muster some energy so that I could get to work again.

''Hi, can I get you anything?'' I asked as I came up to the man, who was sitting with his back towards me. I greeted him before I saw his face, but when he spoke my whole body went cold as ice.

''Please, sit down.''

Elijah smiled at me politely, a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Did he ever smile like that?

I stared at him. I had so many things to say at the tip of my tongue, so many questions on why he was so interested in me, but I was too afraid to say anything.

''There is no one that needs tending to,'' he raised his eyebrow and gestured towards the empty tables. ''Sit. Please.''

''We aren't supposed to sit down with guests,'' I practically whispered, because I was still in a bit of a shock.

Elijah looked at me solemnly. ''I don't think that is a problem,'' he said, yet again referring to the empty restaurant.

I reluctantly obliged, almost in a daze, and sank down on the chair farthest from him.

''It's a pleasure to meet you again, Evangeline.''

''You remember my name,'' I said in a weak voice.

''Of course,'' he said as if it was obvious. My eyes went to his hands, as he was playing with a ring on his finger. Not many men wore rings now-a-days if they weren't married.

He must've heard my heartbeat or something, because he raised his eyebrow at me. ''I'm not here to hurt you.''

I let my eyes meet his briefly. The times I'd met him, he'd always seemed so calculating, and that was something you especially noticed in his eyes. But I couldn't for the life of me figure out what else he was thinking.

''You're one of the one's on Elena list of loved ones to protect,'' he continued, keeping his dark eyes on me.

That actually surprised me a bit. Part of me almost thought she'd forgotten about me, but apparently she hadn't. If one could trust whatever came out of Elijah's mouth, of course – but I think that I did. Trust him, that is. At least, if I followed my gut feeling.

''Did I frighten you?''

I frowned. ''What?''

''At the mansion... Last night.''

''Yes,'' I replied truthfully after a few seconds. I really wasn't sure how to behave around him. I mean, just last night I had a total mental breakdown, and now I actually managed to speak to him in a somewhat coherent way?

Elijah studied me intently. His brown eyes felt like they saw every tiny little part of me, like nothing went unnoticed. ''Are you frightened now?''

''A little.''

''Only a little? I'm surprised.''

''What normal person wouldn't be?'' I shivered.

''Ah,'' he said, and leaned back. ''But you are not normal, are you?''

I didn't answer. Instead, I looked down at my hands which unconsciously had formed into fists, and my knuckles were turning white from how hard I squeezed.

Elijah chuckled.

''What are you?''

''I already told you,'' I mumbled. ''I don't know.''

''And I'm not sure that I believe you,'' he challenged.

''Well, you should. I'm a terrible liar.''

I don't know what came over me. I was supposed to be frightened – I mean, I was – so where did that come from? I didn't think I was brave enough to let stuff like that out, but it had happened several times now. I didn't like that he both had me afraid and comfortable enough to let out my true self at the same time.

''Is that so?'' Elijah asked.

I nodded. Elijah was still spinning the ring on his finger. When he noticed my eyes darting towards it, the corner of his mouth twitched.

''An answer for an answer.''

I felt my forehead crease. ''Excuse me?''

''An answer for an answer,'' he repeated simply. ''I know you have questions.''

''I already gave you an answer.''

Elijah cleared his throat and looked away for a second, making me let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding in. When he looked back at me again, his eyes were darker. At first, I thought he was going to try compelling me again – but he already knew that didn't work. No, that's not was he was doing... But I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Was he angry? Confused? Frustrated? I rarely met people who were this good at controlling their emotions.

I noticed a small frown appearing on his face, and just when I did, he stood up in one swift and elegant motion. He looked down at me, a stray piece of hair falling down from his otherwise perfect hairdo.

''Remember. An answer for an answer.''

And then he was gone.

I sat there for what seemed like forever. Completely in a daze, I forgot all about work and I didn't pay any attention to anything around me. _An answer for an answer_. What did he mean? That we were going to play twenty questions?

One thing was certain. I wasn't going to be rid of Elijah anytime soon, not by the sound of him.

It was the strangest thing. The more I saw of him, the more I began to let loose and speak my mind. I wasn't frozen in fear, despite it always being there, keeping my guard up. Breaking down yesterday seemed ages away. However, that was probably also due to a massive amount of built of stress... I knew that I was able to get a pretty good idea of people's honesty and however they were feeling even without touching them – but with Elijah, that was impossible.

''Hey!'' someone shook me suddenly.

''Huh?'' I looked up and found myself staring straight at Pete, standing by the table with his hands on his waist.

''If Roberta saw you like this...'' he began, and I tried to get rid of the icky feeling I had in my whole body as I stood up.

''I know, I know,'' I groaned and rubbed my forehead. ''It won't happen again.''

Pete smiled. ''Want to play some cards before people start coming in?''

I got myself together surprisingly quickly. It was easier when I had something to focus on. ''What if Roberta saw us?'' I joked.

Pete met my gaze with a dead serious look on his face. ''Then we're toast.''

''You know she'll just tell us not to do it and then go back to her own work?'' I laughed, feeling a little lighter, despite the slight tremble in my voice.

He grinned. ''Yeah, but she can be really terrifying when she means business.''

Luckily, Roberta never left her office until later in the day, when my shift was nearing its end, so Pete and I got away with playing cards and chatting for quite a long period of zero customers. It was a good distraction, and at some times I actually didn't have Elijah on my mind at all. And even though he never came back, I still found myself throwing glances at the door every now and then.

* * *

The raining had stopped by the time I finished work, so I decided to walk home just so I could be alone and not have to cope with my mothers questions. When I got home at eight, I saw my bike leaned up against our garage door. I walked up to it to get a closer look – and it seemed almost brand new.

I rang the bell by the door, because I was to lazy to dig up my keys. My mother let me in after a few seconds.

''They fixed it fast,'' I stated, referring to the bike, hanging up my coat and bending down to take off my shoes.

''Yeah, it took like twenty minutes,'' mum answered.

''Thank you,'' I said and locked the door before giving her a quick hug. ''I was going to do it myself, but...''

''Ah!'' she interrupted me quickly. ''I told you not to worry about it. Want to watch TV?''

I smiled in relief. Anything to get my mind of Elijah, I would agree to. Well, almost anything. I just needed a break from my own mind sometimes, no matter how important whatever was stuck in there was.

''Yeah, that sounds good.''

When we were both nestled in under a blanket on the sofa watching our usual shows, mum asked me how I was doing.

''Better,'' I said slowly. ''I've just had a lot on my mind.''

''Is it that guy?'' she pried, eyeing me curiously.

I debated whether or not to talk to her about it. Leaving out certain details, of course. Finally, I decided to just go with it.

''I can't tell what he's feeling.''

I could tell mum wanted to smile by the twitching in her face muscles, but she controlled herself.

''Do you mean his feelings towards you or...''

''No, no,'' I hurried to cut her off. She thought I was seeing someone, I knew that, but I there was only so many lies I could come up with, and I really didn't want to go down that road. ''Like, overall. I can't tell if he's irritated or happy or whatever, you know?''

She hummed. ''Some people aren't as open as others, honey. Not everyone show their feelings to others.''

''I know,'' I sighed. ''But it really bugs me.''

Mum put her arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to her. ''Don't worry, honey. The more you hang around someone, the more you get to know the real them. You just have to get to know him better, that's all.''

I was glad she couldn't see my face when I grimaced. Get to know him better, yeah, sure. That really sounds appealing.

Instead of fretting too much about it, I turned my attention back to the screen. Elijah was stuck in my head and I didn't like it. And what I especially didn't like was how I couldn't tell what his intentions were because I'd never met anyone with that kind of control over themselves. I guess that's what a thousand years of living does to people. If I was to get any sleep tonight, I knew I had to get him out of my mind... so thank god for reality shows.


	20. Chapter 18

**Thank you for all your kind comments :) I'm still not quite well, but at least it's a bit better. Enjoy this next chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''In order for the light to shine so bright, the darkness must be present''_

\- Francis Bacon

* * *

I was staring at an empty classroom. All around me was that eerie silence right before the bell rang and a more familiar buzz spread through the hallways. I glanced at my phone. The class didn't start until in five minutes, so they'd start pouring in soon enough.

I lifted my phone up in front of my face and turned on the front camera. The bruise on my chin was gone by now, so I'd been told, but I guess my mind still made me see some discolouration in the skin.

Mrs. Cooper was coming back from her leave, so this was the last class I had. Well, as a long-time substitute, that is. I chewed the inside of my cheek absentmindedly. If Elena was here, or maybe Bonnie, I had to talk to them.

A few minutes after the bell rang the students trudged in one after another. It was kind of strange, I had to admit, to step back into the teaching role again when I saw Elena, Stefan, Caroline and Bonnie take their seats and place their books in front of them. So Elijah had kept his word about Stefan? He was obviously not stuck in a tomb anymore.

''Has anyone seen Tyler today?'' I asked as I took attendance.

''I don't think he's here,'' Isaac said.

''He's not,'' Caroline jumped in. I glanced at her, but her eyes were glued to the desk in front of her.

''Okay...'' I finished crossing off the rest of the names, before I placed the sheet on the desk and turned to the class. ''Alright, guys, this is the last lesson you'll have to finish your texts. So, let's not waste any time?''

When they sat working by themselves, I usually didn't have too much to do. Most of them didn't really need any help, especially at the end of an assignment, like now. It really did feel awkward to teach Elena and everyone, when they were teaching me on their end.

I wondered if Elena had gotten my text. I mean, maybe she didn't, and I was just fretting over nothing. Or she had to much going on. I wasn't in on everything that happened, and I still wasn't quite sure if I wanted to…. There were just so many questions running about in my head.

After class, Elena lingered behind.

''I'm sorry,'' she said before I had the chance to even open my mouth. ''There's just been so much happening, I forgot to talk to you.'' She looked like she was genuinely sorry.

I shrugged. ''It's okay.''

''No, it's not.'' She sighed. ''Are you okay?''

''Well,'' I began. ''Elijah payed me a visit. Two, actually.''

Elena stared at me wide-eyed. '' _Two_ times?''

I hummed in reply.

''What did he want?''

''The first time he just... _appeared_ ,'' I frowned. I hadn't really made sense of it myself yet. ''Sarah's car broke down, and then he was just... there. And then the second time was yesterday at the Grill.''

''Okay...'' Elena said slowly. ''And?''

''I don't know,'' I sighed in frustration. ''He wants to know what I am. I don't even know that!'' If I were a cartoon figure, I'd be pulling my hair by now. I glanced at the clock on the wall, to make sure another class wasn't about to begin.

Elena looked deep in thought; her dark eyes penned to the floor.

''What is it?'' I asked.

She looked up after a second, a deep crease on her forehead. ''I just remembered what Rose said.''

''Okay?''

''That Elijah wants to know about everyone part in this whole mess.''

''But I'm not-''

''You're getting there,'' she interrupted me. ''Unfortunately. And besides, I don't think he cares.''

''What do you mean?''

''Well, he came across someone supernatural and he doesn't know what you are.''

''Hasn't he lived for a thousand something years?''

''I think that just it,'' Elena said. ''If you've lived for that long and bump into something you haven't encountered before, wouldn't you be curious?''

''I guess...'' I answered in a low voice. ''When you put it like that.'' My phone vibrated in my pocket but I ignored it. ''I still don't know what to make of it.''

''Elijah's up to something, I just don't know what.'' Elena chewed on her bottom lip. ''He got Stefan out, though.''

''I noticed. But what does that mean?''

She shrugged. ''I think he keeps whatever he promises.''

''Should I be worried?'' I asked. ''If he shows up again, I mean.''

''I don't think so,'' she said slowly, furrowing her brows. ''He's been very... surprising. But I still don't know what he wants, exactly. My guess though...'' she paused and looked right into my eyes. ''He'll do anything to make it happen.''

A shiver ran down my spine.

''But we're good?'' Elena asked after a while of silence and, frankly, I was grateful for the change of topic. I felt like I'd had my fair share of Elijah-related business these last couple of days.

I nodded. ''Yeah.''

''Shake on it?''

I stared at her reached out hand and, as I usually did in these kinds of situations, froze. ''Um...''

Her eyes widened and she wrinkled her nose. ''Sorry. I forgot.''

''Don't worry,'' I chuckled nervously. ''You're not the only one. I forget sometimes, too.''

''You do?'' she asked curiously.

I sat down on the desk and took the chance to swing my legs back and forth. ''Yep. When you can't really touch people, you realise how important physical contact is in social situations.''

Elena sat down opposite from me. ''Isn't it hard?''

''Yeah,'' I confirmed. ''It kind of sucks, actually.''

''But do you think you could, like... control it, somehow? I mean... what you did for Rose, that worked, right?''

I frowned. ''It did, yeah... but I wasn't really sure of what I was doing. And besides that, I've tried... a few times. But I really can't move past like an 30-70 percent chance that I might or might not accidentally transfer what I'm feeling to someone else.''

''I wish I could help you,'' she mumbled.

Smiling slightly, I jumped off the desk and got to gathering my things.

''I really don't know what there is to do. I mean, Bonnie didn't find anything, so...''

''Are you sure you aren't just afraid to practice because you've always it at a distance?'' a voice sounded from the doorway. We turned our heads towards the girl speaking, and my heart skipped a beat. That was pure instinct, and I didn't like it. I didn't want to jump, not even for a second, at the sight of her.

''Hey Car,'' Elena smiled, but I noticed her throwing a quick glance at me. I had reconciled with Caroline... sort of.

''Hi,'' the blonde replied chipperly. She then carefully turned to me. ''So?''

''Huh?''

''What I said,'' she repeated. ''Maybe you can't control it because you're scared of using your powers.''

She had a point. I'd spent my whole life suppressing my emotions and never really tried to practice properly. What control I had was most dependent what I _had_ to learn. Like: don't touch others, try get to keep a low profile and stay away from extremely sad or angry people.

''I am.''

''Scared?'' Elena asked.

''Yeah.''

I hugged the binder in my arms. ''We should probably get out of here, class starts soon.''

Elena frowned at me worriedly. ''Okay...'' She could tell that I didn't want to talk about it anymore. ''Can I call you tonight?''

Nodding, I erased some things I'd written on the board during class and started walking towards the door.

''Good,'' she smiled.

''Oh!'' Caroline blurted out suddenly. ''Are you going to the Grill now?''

''Mhm,'' I confirmed and looked at her. ''Why?''

''I was just wondering...'' her blue eyes met mine, and I could tell she hesitated. ''If you see Matt, could you tell him I've been looking for him?''

She looked so nervous and sad that she almost didn't seem the same person. I mustered the warmest smile I had to offer. ''Sure, no problem.''

Caroline let out a relieved sigh. ''Oh, thanks.''

''Now, scoot.''

''Teacher mode on, we get it,'' Elena laughed along with Caroline, and when they headed off to their next class, I took the bike to the Grill.

* * *

Matt wasn't at work when I got there, but Sarah was. She greeted me with a grin. ''Hey, didn't you get my text?''

''I haven't checked,'' I said and pulled my phone out. When I skimmed it my hands went cold.

''He's really nice, but he's at your table and haven't ordered yet so...'' Sarah made a face.

I looked over her shoulder and sure thing – there he was. ''Again?'' I whispered.

''What, he's been here before?'' Sarah asked, clearly interested. ''You've got something going on?''

''Oh, no,'' I shook my head quickly. ''Nope. No.''

Sarah laughed. ''Yeah, right.''

I ignored her. I tried to ignore Elijah, too, but after a while Roberta had thrown me enough angry looks to make me think she'd cut down on my shifts if I didn't attend one of the customers.

''Hello, Evangeline,'' he greeted politely.

I braced myself. ''Elijah.''

''What would you like?''

''Polite,'' he noted.

I looked at him, grey eyes meeting brown. ''I... I like to think that you should treat people the way you want to be treated.''

I saw the ghost of a smile appear on his face. ''Well, then. A cup of tea, if you would.''

''Green, black...?'' I trailed off.

''Black, please.''

I nodded. ''I'll be right back.''

As soon as I'd left I let out a heavy breath. But the feeling didn't last long. I was back at his table after a minute or two with a steaming cup in my hands. When I put it down, a wave of relief washed over me because my hands had been so shaky that I might've dropped it.

''Would you like to sit down with me?'' he offered and gestured toward the chair in front of him.

''I'm afraid that I'm working,'' I mumbled.

Elijah looked around. ''There is no one else here. And two waitresses.'' I looked around as well. He was right. I sat down, albeit reluctantly. A part of me knew that I... I kind of had to.

''So, Evangeline,'' he began. ''What is your role in all of this?''

I frowned. I hadn't gotten that question before. ''How do you mean?''

He took a sip from his cup of tea. When he put it down without a clink, he said: ''Well, there are the vampires. And then there are the werewolves and the witches... this town really is a hot spot, is it not?''

''I guess...''

''And somehow, you got yourself entangled in all of this. A human.''

I tried my hardest to keep a straight face, but it was hard. With his excelled hearing and vision, he had to hear my heart beat, and I wouldn't be surprised if he could see the tiny drops of sweat on my forehead, too.

I stayed quiet. Elijah tilted his head slightly.

''Hm... You want to know what I think?''

I didn't answer, but he continued anyway.

''You're not like the other humans involved,'' he stated, leaning back in his chair, and keeping his eyes locked on me. ''You are human, for certain. Yet, you're different.''

''Well...,'' I said slowly, surprising myself again with what came out of my mouth, ''I'm a girl.''

''I know,'' he stated, and I felt a crease creep up on my forehead.

Elijah leaned forward over the table, his eyes piercing mine. I was almost too afraid to look away. ''I have a feeling... that you are not telling me the whole truth.'' Hadn't we already had this conversation, a few times even?

I sat completely still for a second or two. He looked very... very predatory, and I wasn't keen on getting him angry. I knew what he was capable of. Eventually I broke eye contact and felt a chill down my spine.

He leaned back again. ''You asked me what I wanted.''

''Huh?'' I let out a confused sound, involuntarily.

''The night when you fell with you bicycle.''

So it was him.

''I want to know what you are,'' he said simply. He'd said that before, I knew that he wanted to know, but...

''I've tried to find it out pretty much my entire life,'' I finally let out. ''So I promise, I don't know.'' I'd already told him that, too.

''What can you do?''

I frowned. Elijah cleared his throat and continued. ''Let me rephrase... What powers do you possess?''

''Why should I tell you?'' I dared, but my voice shook, and by the look of the small smile on his lips, he heard it.

''Ask me something.''

''What?''

''Ask me something. Anything.''

''Um...'' I paused. If he was serious about this 20 questions deal, then I shouldn't waste it on trivial things. But what to ask? I glanced at him, and his dark eyes were still on me, waiting. Challenging.

''Why are you here?''

''I am here to speak with you,'' he answered shortly.

''I didn't mean here, here, but in town,'' I retorted, slightly irritated.

''You got one question,'' Elijah said. ''And one answer.''

I sighed. ''That hardly qualifies as-''

''We never did call it a deal,'' he stopped me mid-sentence.

By now, he'd almost stopped scaring me and just started driving me mad. I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to him, when I got into it.

''Any questions you have, I will answer,'' Elijah promised. ''If you do the same.''

I swear, when he reached out his hand over the table I stopped breathing.

Elena had said that he kept his promises – but I couldn't read him. And it was unnerving. Then I realised his hand was still in front of me, and he studied me intently.

''I...'' I breathed. ''I don't know.''

''Think about it,'' he said and pulled his hand back. He rose from his seat, and slipped his hand in his pocket.

''Thank you for the tea, and talk,'' he said with a secretive smile. He pulled a hand through his hair, and my eyes couldn't help but be drawn to it. ''It was delightful.'' With that, he put something on the table and left.

I leaned forward and picked the bill up. I felt my whole face drain of blood when I saw how much it was. Minus the tea, he'd tipped me a hundred dollars. I let out a surprised yelp and quickly looked around to see if he was still there, but he wasn't.

* * *

 _Ring. Ring. Ring._

Sometimes I wondered if I should change my ringtone into something a little more forgiving. The piercing sound of someone calling right next to my head had me jump where I lay on the bed reading.

''Hello?''

''Hi, it's Elena.''

''Hi.'' I put the book down and sat up, crossing my legs. ''I talked to Elijah again.''

''What?'' she gasped. ''When?''

''Right after I left school. He was at the Grill.''

''Why? What did he want?''

''''It feels like maybe he's making one of my table's his second home,'' I cringed. ''He wanted to... well, exchange information, I guess.''

''What exactly did he say?''

''I don't...'' I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. ''Something about, if I answered his questions then he would answer mine.''

''Huh.''

''What?''

''I don't know,'' she trailed off.

''I mean, I feel like he'll do like you said, and keep his word, but...'' I groaned. ''I can't read him.''

''He's a mystery,'' Elena agreed. ''But he kept his word when it came to Stefan. I think he can be trusted. To keep his promises,'' she quickly added.

''So, what do you think I should do?''

''I don't know if it's a good idea to tell him about you,'' she began. ''But on the other hand, he hasn't really told me much when I've talked to him either – and that was like one time.''

''Yeah,'' I mumbled.

''So if he answers _anything_...'' She was quiet for a while.

''Ugh,'' I groaned. ''I don't know what to do.''

''Do you think he'll be there the next time you work?''

''Don't know,'' I admitted. ''Three times a habit, I guess? I've got another shift tomorrow.''

''If he does, call me?''

''Yeah,'' I sighed and closed my eyes. ''Sure.''

''Oh, and Ev?''

''Yeah?''

''You should go by Stefan's tomorrow and get some vervain,'' Elena proposed. ''For your mum.''

I crinkled my nose. ''I haven't even thought of that...''

''Don't worry,'' she comforted. ''Just slip it into her drink or food and she'll be safe.''

After we hung up a short while later, I picked my book up again – only to put it down a second later. If Elijah _did_ come tomorrow, what would I say? I didn't want to tell him about me. None of us really knew why he was there. And what would he do with me if he found out what I was capable of?

What Caroline had said earlier in the day got me thinking that, maybe, I didn't know everything about my abilities yet. I was scared of using them, because I didn't really know how. And because of that, maybe I hadn't discovered everything I could do. Maybe there was more?

I let my hair down before I got under the covers. At night was the only time I felt like doing that, because it annoyed me when my hair stuck on my face. I sighed. Even if I wanted to practice, or whatever, how would I do it? With whom? If there was even the slightest chance of it leading to me being able to control myself better, or even completely, then I wanted to. Despite my head being on the verge of exploding from unanswered questions, I knew that much.


	21. Chapter 19

**Hi everyone :/ Sorry for not posting in what feels like forever, but life still kind of sucks :P Not really back to full health yet, unfortunately. This un-characteristic drought sucks a lot of energy out of people, too. I hope you like this chapter though, even if it's way overdue and all that. Cheers!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer''_

\- Seneca

* * *

Lunch hour on Saturdays was the busiest time of the week at the Grill. It was a place for teens to hang out and for anyone looking for a cup of coffee or a lunch with friends.

''Here you go,'' I said with a smile as I served a couple their food. ''Enjoy your meal!''

I glanced quickly at the door. He wasn't here yet. If he was coming... I didn't know what to do, really. I only got to clear my head enough to think about it sometimes, because, as always, I just turned on some kind of autopilot when the restaurant was this crowded; swiping dishes as I went past tables to get the ready orders, and keeping everything besides work out of my head.

I walked into the kitchen to drop off some dishes for Pete, and when I came back out I scanned the room for any new customers. Mr. Saltzman, Damon and a woman I recognised from TV were sitting by one of Sarah's tables, but otherwise there was no one else. Damon looked up and winked at me. He'd probably heard that I had to go to his and Stefan's house after work to get the vervain.

Averting my eyes from him to the door again, as it opened, my breath hitched in my throat. It wasn't him, though, the freaking hundred-dollar-tipper, and I shook it off and went back to work. With all the people here, I shouldn't let myself get distracted and lose focus.

* * *

There was a steep hill before I could turn onto the road that would take me to the Salvatore house, so I got off the bike to walk up. My footsteps didn't make any sound on the paved road; the only sound heard was the spinning of the wheels. There weren't even any afternoon birds chirping.

This was exactly how it'd been when I went to the Lockwood's to find my purse.

I was just about to climb on my bike again, when I heard a gust of wind.

''Good afternoon.''

When I looked up he was right in front of me, hands in his pockets and un-readable features.

''Hi...'' I tightened my grip on the steer.

''Have you decided?''

''You don't really give me much time to think...'' I replied.

''You are going to see the Salvatores, I presume?''

Even if I would've debated whether to tell him or not, the only reason anyone would be on this road was to go to them.

''Yes,'' I replied shortly. ''I'm actually in a bit of a hurry...''

''I'll accompany you.''

''There's really no need,'' I mumbled and started walking away from him.

''What is your business with them?'' Elijah's voice rang from behind me.

''My business is none of yours,'' I retorted through gritted teeth. Having him this close had every muscle in my body tense, every nerve on alert.

''You will come to see that it is,'' he stated matter-of-factly, as if it was obvious. It was to him, apparently, but if Elena and the others didn't know either, then how should I?

The hill was getting the better of me, and I tried to contain my heavy breaths as best I could. I was half-way to the top.

''Perhaps you could remind them, that any unjust intentions tonight would leave us in quite a severe situation,'' he looked at me solemnly.

''Tonight?'' I asked and glanced at him, walking effortlessly a few feet away.

''We are having dinner.''

''Oh,'' I frowned.

''Alaric and Damon and their accompanying lady friends - even if I doubt that the ladies have anything to do with it. And if their intentions are less than honourable...'' Elijah trailed off. He didn't have to finish his sentence, I got the idea.

Having dinner? That really did sound like something planned. Of course Elijah would be suspicious. I bit my bottom lip and pressed on, finally reaching the top of the hill. The road continued onwards, but to my left the trees parted and revealed a wide dirt road leading deep into the forest.

I didn't want to stop and catch my breath, because that would mark me out as extremely human, and walking next to Elijah that wasn't something I was too keen on. So, even though my lungs felt like they where exploding and my strained breaths came out a little ragged, I still got on my bike and began pedalling slowly.

Elijah, of course, kept my sloth-like pace without any effort at all.

''You are quite strong-willed, aren't you?'' Elijah spoke out of the blue.

I discreetly wiped off some cold sweat from my forehead and tried to take a few deep breaths before answering. ''How do you mean?''

He flicked his chin towards me, without meeting my eyes. ''Oh, just in general.''

After that, he didn't say anything until we got to the Salvatores' driveway. Being silent with him was almost worse than him trying to extract information from me. It was just really, really tense and what was worse was that he was so good at keeping a straight face that no one could possibly tell what he was thinking about.

''I should probably turn around here,'' Elijah said and smiled slyly at the manor in front of us as I jumped off my bike on slightly wobbly legs. ''Do not forget what I said, Evangeline. About tonight, and about our deal.''

''It's not a deal yet,'' I reminded him cooly. His dark eyes narrowed, but in some kind of strange amusement.

''Take care, Evangeline.''

''You too,'' I said before realising it. It came as an automated response, and my eyes widened slightly in surprise over my response. Looking at Elijah, the corner of his mouth turned upwards in a smile before he turned around and strolled back as casually as he'd appeared.

* * *

I knocked on the massive wooden door and seconds later it opened to reveal Stefan's greeting smile.

''Hi, come in. Elena told me you were coming.''

I kept my jacket on. Stefan showed me into the living room, where Damon stood looking grumpy, as he often seemed to do.

''What was _he_ doing with you?'' Damon snarled and stared out the window to see if he'd gone.

''He just showed up,'' I replied. ''It's not like I can help it.''

Stefan frowned and looked at me, thinking.

''What is it?'' I asked curiously.

''Nothing,'' he snapped out of it quickly. ''It's nothing. Sit down, I'll go and grab some.'' He scurried off into the hallway to get vervain from somewhere, leaving me with Damon. I sat down and placed my hands in my lap.

''So...'' I began, because sitting in silence with Damon was even worse than having to keep a conversation, much like with Elijah. ''There's a dinner party tonight?''

''Oh, you heard about that?'' Damon said. ''Yeah, well, actually...''

''Elijah told me to warn you,'' I blurted out quickly.

''Oh,'' Damon tsked. ''He's already told us that like...'' he stopped and scrunched his face ''… two times.''

''Well, _are_ you planning something?'' I frowned. I didn't know either him nor Stefan too well yet, and knowing that Elijah was... well, hundreds of years older than them didn't ease any concerns. In comparison, Elijah must be infinitely more powerful.

''Now, now,'' Damon tsked. ''Let's keep our noses out of other's business, shall we?''

I glared at him. ''Do you know what he'll probably do to you if you break your word?''

''Like I said,'' Damon snapped. ''Stay out of it.''

I scowled at him, but stayed quiet after that. Just because Elijah kept following me around, somewhat harmlessly, didn't mean that I'd forgotten what happened to me and Elena.

Just when the silence was about to become unbearable, Stefan came back with a plastic bag containing something green. I immediately sat up a little straighter and eyed it curiously when he sat down next to me on the sofa.

''So that's...''

''Vervain, yes,'' Stefan filled out for me.

''You had to eat it, right?'' I tried to recall and suddenly felt a chill of worry run down my spine. ''There's no way that I will be able to put it in her food everyday. Some days we don't even see each other, 'cause she's working and I'm working and...''

''Don't worry,'' Stefan said, and I could see his hand twitch when he wanted to calm me but realised he shouldn't put his hand over mine. ''You can put it in a necklace or bracelet instead.''

''That works?'' I'd probably been told that before, but I really didn't remember.

''Yes. As long as its in or on your body.''

''Oh,'' I breathed, feeling a little relieved. ''Okay.'' I bit my lip and looked away from him. Damon didn't seem to care that Elijah would be on high alert at the get-together they were throwing. I sighed. ''Stefan, I don't know what of if you're even planning on something tonight, but Elijah was very specific... you guys won't do anything reckless, will you?''

Stefan smiled. ''Don't worry.''

My gut instinctively told me he was lying, which meant that he probably was. I shook it off. Even if I did worry, I didn't feel like it was my place to push it further and if I did they wouldn't listen to me anyway.

''So... in some sort of jewellery?'' I changed the subject and shook the bag Stefan had given me.

''Oh, um, yeah,'' he smiled again.

''It works like a charm,'' Damon sang from the window and I rolled my eyes at it.

''Okay then,'' I practically jumped off the sofa to get out of there. ''Well.. thanks. For this.'' Once again, shaking the bag of green leaves.

''No problem,'' Stefan assured. ''You off to work?''

I shook my head. ''Nope. Done for the day.''

When I was back outside and riding my bike through the woods I got a really bad feeling in my stomach again, like something bad was going down. Whatever they were planning, it couldn't be good.

* * *

When I got home, my mother sat in the kitchen reading. I took of my jacket, hung it up and went to the sink to wash my hands.

''Hey, honey,'' she greeted, not looking up from her magazine.

''Hi,'' I said, and dried my hands off before sitting down next to her, picking up the nearest piece of paper to skim through.

I had to go buy some kind of jewellery. The store I knew she liked wasn't open during weekends, so first thing after work on Monday, I told myself. Until then, I had to try and get it in her food somehow.

''Hey, mum?'' She looked up with a warm smile. ''I can cook tonight.''

''Evangeline, we can make something together,'' she suggested.

''No,'' I pressed, trying not to sound too eager. ''You've done so much this past week, at home. I'll take care of it.''

She nodded and left it at that, thankfully. I thought of the bag of vervain in my pocket. I'd have to sneak it into whatever I was making somehow. _I might be able to crush it and put it in a lasagne or something..._

An hour later I'd gotten the lasagne into the oven and was sitting by the table going through my phone. Mum had gone into the living room and the sound of some kind of Real Housewives echoed through the hallway and throughout the house.

I scrolled down my newsfeed. Some old high school friends had posted pictures of what looked like a weekend trip somewhere warm. A girl from my French class posed with her boyfriend in front of a beautiful sunset. A ring glittered on her left hand. I turned the screen off and put the phone away.

Someday, maybe, I could travel around as well. After I'd saved up for college. That day felt so far away though... I pinched the bridge of my nose. I shouldn't let myself get caught up in those kind of thoughts, I knew I shouldn't.

My mother's shout made me snap out of it. It took me a second or two to realise that nothing had happened, and she was just shouting at the TV.

The timer went off a little while later and my mum came into the kitchen quicker than I thought she would, with a show on and all. As we sat down, I couldn't get rid of the nervous itching all over my body.

I glanced at her when she put the first bite in her mouth. I kind of expected her to frown at the taste of it, but she didn't. Quickly looking away, I took a bite as well. I thought it would taste strange, but it was just like any other batch of lasagne I'd made.

One day down, one to go. Maybe I could slip it into her coffee?

''You're not listening, are you?'' my mother chuckled.

I blinked. ''Huh?''

''I was just telling you about how crazy Rheanna was, you know, that whole thing with Anna-Beth?'' she swallowed the bite she had in her mouth, ''but you were somewhere else.''

''Sorry,'' I grimaced. I hadn't even heard her talking.

''No worries,'' she said with a small smile. ''This was really good.'' Right after she said that, I saw her forehead wrinkle and her eyebrows begin to furrow – which meant that she was just about to say something that I probably didn't want to talk about.

''I have to tell you something,'' she began and looked at me with worry in her eyes. When I didn't interrupt her, she kept on going. ''I know that you agreed to give your money up, honey, but I can't help but feel that you're just working way too hard nowadays. You barely have any spare time and I know you don't go out much-''

''Mum-''

''-which really doesn't seem fair and I've thought about it for a long time now, that even though you're an adult you really put too much on your shoulders-''

'' _Mum_ -''

''-especially with everything you can do and-''

''Mum, please!''

Even if she didn't cry, her sadness made tears trickle down my cheeks.

''I'm sorry, I just...'' she choked. ''I feel like such a bad mother.''

I reached over the table and put my hand on her sleeve-covered arm. ''You're not a bad mother. And I won't be working as much from now on, the English teacher's back, remember?''

''You're still my little girl, you know?'' she sighed, and chuckled suddenly, wiping her eyes. ''Oh, look at me. Gosh.'' Her hands shook when she brought her fork up to her mouth. ''Maybe we could do something on Monday? I don't know, shopping or something. Something fun.''

When I looked at my mother, I realised that I hadn't really stopped to see how she was doing lately. I mean, she was probably right to worry about me having too much going on (although she didn't know half of it), but she worked harder than I did. There were dark circles under her eyes that had been there before, and when I looked closer her smiles seemed strained and not as genuine as I thought.

''Absolutely,'' I replied.

That might give me an opportunity to pass by the jewellers and either pick something out or nudge her to buy something. It was probably a better idea to pick something that she would wear everyday, like a gift from myself. Apart from that, it could be nice to try and get away from everything for a while... Unless 'everything' showed up, that is.

Mum looked a little happier the rest of the night. Okay, maybe not happier, but at least more at ease. I really wouldn't have noticed if I didn't look closer. I had been so closed off, both emotionally and otherwise. When I had too much on my plate, the easiest thing was to keep everything out because too many impressions could make me so, so tired and emotional, and if it was too much I couldn't control it.

The compassion in me wanted to put everyone but myself first, and even when I probably should do the opposite, it was like something in me wouldn't let me. Stupid _gift_. I knew that was the problem, I wasn't just kind or whatever, that part of me was because of something bigger. Something I didn't consider healthy.

Nothing showed up on my computer search either, and because this day had been so completely exhausting, all I could to was throw myself on the bed and fall asleep immediately.

* * *

 **Just to point out: I haven't really watched any Real Housewives of *someplace* (only parts of like, three episodes or something), so I just made a couple of names up (hopefully, otherwise, it's not them that's referred to) :P**


	22. Chapter 20

**Quicker update, yay :) Thank you guys for reading and for your comments! I'm currently away from my Bluray, so I've had to make due with Youtube and wikis to remember certain parts of the story, hopefully everything makes sense.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''I would rather walk with a friend in the dark,_

 _than alone in the light''_

\- Helen Keller

* * *

 _Highly sensitive persons are specifically defined as..._

 _Compassion – the key to a virtuous life..._

 _A three step plan to come to terms with a breakup..._

''Stupid thing,'' I grunted and slammed my finger a little too hard on the backspace key.

''You okay?'' my mother poked her head in through my door, looking amused. The necklace I got her on our shopping trip a couple of days ago hung around her neck. So far she hadn't really taken it off, which was good because then the vervain could do its work.

''Uhu,'' I hummed and kept my eyes on the screen. When I heard her footsteps go down the stairs I tried typing something else again, but nothing came up.

Annoyed, I stood up abruptly and grabbed a random book from my bookshelf and sat down to read, but after only a minute I put it aside with a deep sigh and let out a small groan before falling back onto the bed.

I had nothing to do. No work, no errands, nothing.

One would think that I would be happy for a little time off doing nothing, but it actually made me go a little bit crazy. Usually, it made me so restless that I had to go for a run to calm down my heart and release some energy.

So far today, I'd tried to learn how to do a proper french braid (with only little success), spent some time online searching, read a couple of pages that I couldn't remember from a book, and vacuumed the whole bottom floor of the house. And, on top of that, like an hour of pacing. Mum was off to work soon, too, so I couldn't hang out with her either.

Whatever I was doing, I always found myself glancing out the window. I never saw him, though. And every time I looked out, I mentally slapped myself for thinking such childish thoughts like he would stand watch outside my house everyday. Not likely.

He just popped up everywhere. And when he didn't pop up in person, he did so in my head. And it was disturbing. It was like I could hear his smooth, emotionally-levelled voice in my mind saying, ''good afternoon'' or ''good evening'' and then, there he was.

I didn't know what to make of the whole deal thing. If I agreed to it, I would have to tell him whatever he wanted to know unless I wanted the wrath of a thousand-year-old vampire brought down upon me because of a lie – and I was a terrible liar. But... if all he wanted was to ask about me? What harm could be done then? I mean, I didn't know anything! Besides, maybe, what I could **actually** do. I'd never told him about being able to read emotions or bestow them upon people. If I told him that, then he might figure it out on his own, if he was able to deduct anything from that. If he'd been around for so long, he had to know something, right?

I shook my head in doubt. Maybe he didn't. _But what if he did?_ That nagging voice in the back of my head just wouldn't stay quiet, and I realised that I was actually treading further and further into the land of accept-the-deal.

A humming sound from my right pulled me out of my thoughts. Reaching out with my hand, I grabbed my phone and rubbed my eyes before looking at the screen.

 _Hey, we're having girl's night at my house tonight. A movie and junk food, you should come if you want :)_

I smiled, practically jumping out of my sweatpants and oversized t-shirt that I'd bought at the men's department (because oversized were only cosily comfortable if they were men shirts, for some reason) and putting on a pair of dark jeans and a lavender turtle neck sweater. Finally, something to do besides wallowing in restlessness and handsome but dangerous men.

* * *

''Hi, come in,'' Elena smiled and I could hear Caroline's voice talking the kitchen.

I left my coat in the hallway and followed Elena. My heart beat a bit louder and faster than it normally would, because, to be honest, I was a little nervous. This was the first time we actually hung out, in a normal way.

''Evangeline!'' the other blonde by the counter beamed at me. Bonnie waved happily from beside her.

''Hi,'' I replied, feeling slightly awkward and I didn't know what to do with my hands so I kept clasping and unclasping them back and forth behind my back.

''We were just talking about food,'' Caroline proclaimed. ''Any preference?''

''Not really,'' I said, following Elena when she walked over to them.

''Guys, if Jenna comes home, she's had a big fight with Rick,'' Elena cautioned. ''About Isobel.''

''Elena's birth mother,'' Bonnie explained in a low voice.

''Wait, what?'' I coughed in confusion. ''Your birth mother?''

''Yeah...'' Elena rubbed the back of her neck. ''That's a long story.''

* * *

Somehow, all these catch-ups made my head so full it felt like it was about to explode.

''Not a dull moment, huh?'' I felt my forehead crease as Elena finished her story about her birth mother and Rick and vampires and how it all just seemed to have gone downhill from there.

Elena shook her head. ''Nope. Okay, let's get this back to being a nice distraction.''

''Yeah, we don't know nearly enough about you,'' Caroline pointed at me and smiled excitedly. I chuckled nervously, not prepared for the conversation be about me all of a sudden.

The three of them looked at me with friendly, but mischievous smiles on their faces. ''Okay... as long as we stay away from inquisition,'' I grimaced.

''So do you have a boyfriend or...?

''Caroline!'' Bonnie exclaimed, glaring at her friend.

I laughed. ''Never mind.''

''But do you?''

''She loves gossip,'' Bonnie rolled her eyes. I looked at Caroline, who was obviously expecting an answer. I wasn't scared to give her one, or anything, so I did.

''I don't.''

Something lit up in Caroline's blue eyes and I sensed trouble. Apparently, so did the other two.

''Oh, no, no, no,'' Elena warned her friend. ''No matchmaking.''

''But-'' Caroline pouted when Elena raised a finger in warning. ''Fine.''

''It's not like I'm looking, really, but thanks anyways,'' I tried to meddle between the two.

''It's not only that though,'' Bonnie said. ''You've had an Original running after you all the time.''

''Not all the time...'' I frowned. ''I hope. I'm sure he's got better things to do. But I suppose that adds to the not ideal dating situation.'' I paused. ''Wait... what do you mean by _had?''_

The three of them looked nervously at each other. Elena tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear before she said:

''Elijah's dead.''

It took me a few seconds before her words made any sense to me.

''Oh.'' I frowned. ''The dinner party?''

Elena nodded, and told me how it'd all went down.

''Okay then,'' I said slowly when she finished, trying to grasp what I'd just heard. I don't know why it made me kind of uncomfortable. Elijah had kidnapped us, killed God knows how many besides Trevor... I felt my jaw twitch. Maybe it was just the killing part that got to me? But there was this nagging feeling in the back of my head. I'd just thought about accepting his deal, and now he was dead.

Treat people the way you yourself want to be treated, I always tried to follow that mantra. And as soon as Elijah got back to being civil, I'd tried to be as brave as I could and follow that, despite how hard it was. And just as with Caroline, I'd realised how vampires basically were either both or one side of a coin. If I didn't know how old he was and was intimidated by that and all he'd done to Elena and I, I wouldn't suspect him to be dangerous at all.

''I have another question,'' Caroline piped up and brought me out of my thinking, and most likely, a strange silence between the four of us that I was just too busy to pay attention to. I was kind of grateful for a change of topic, though.

''Not being rude,'' Caroline continued, and that probably meant that she was about to ask a blunt, **or** rude, question. ''But do you want to go to college, and,'' she quickly added,''what would you major in?''

With some effort I pushed the image of Elijah out of my head and tried to focus on the now instead. Honestly, I had a feeling that question would pop up. My life had kind of been put on hold since we had to use up my college fund, and ever since then I'd just been trying to save up again.

''Yes, I want to go to college,'' I said. ''Literature or some foreign language, maybe. Not sure what I want to work with, though.'' I chewed my bottom lip absentmindedly. I always acted like I had this big dream and planned out life, but it was actually only the go-to-college and see-the-world part that I actually knew I wanted – I didn't know exactly what I wanted to study or where I wanted to travel, just that I wanted to. ''What about you guys?''

''I haven't really thought about it, besides that I want to go,'' Elena said. Bonnie nodded in agreement.

''So I take it you like reading?'' Bonnie asked and brought the attention back to me, in my surprise.

''You're welcome to see my room, I've got a small library in there,'' I joked, even though it was kind of true.

Bonnie smiled. ''That's sounds awesome.''

''Well, they're not as interesting as your magic books I'd presume, but still.'' Her grimoires did sound extremely fascinating, and I really hoped to maybe, I don't know, get to look through them someday. If she'd let me.

''I'm still looking, by the way,'' Bonnie whispered to me when Caroline and Elena suddenly got into a huge discussion about what movie to watch. ''So you know.''

''Really?'' I asked in surprise. ''Wow, thanks...''

Bonnie waved it off. ''We're kind of in this together now.''

I offered her a grateful smile. I never thought I'd get dragged into something like this, but a part of me was kind of glad that I'd had. For the first time in my life I thought that maybe, just maybe, I might finally find out something about what I was. If there existed vampires, werewolves and witches, what else couldn't there be out in the world?

Caroline was practically jumping up and down on the spot. I had to admit, I was warming up to her. I mean, up until now I'd basically forgotten all about her being a vampire. She was so... so normal, somehow.

I noticed Elena eyeing her, amused. ''Someone's excited.''

''Hey, there's nothing wrong with that?'' Caroline said in feign hurt, but I suspected that she'd felt it a little bit. ''I mean, we haven't really known you outside of school until now.''

''I'm not very interesting,'' I said. ''Really, I don't do much. I work, I read, hang out with a co-worker sometimes.''

''Well, be prepared to be busy,'' Bonnie sighed. ''When you get tangled up in all this...'' With that comment, she brought me back to my previous thoughts faster than lightning.

''What happens when a vampire dies?'' I blurted out.

Bonnie eyed me curiously. Maybe it looked like I'd taken the news hard or something, and I didn't think that I had... ''Normal vampires basically just desiccate if you stake them,'' she said. ''Originals, well, as you heard...''

''So he's not actually dead?'' I asked.

''Well,'' Caroline made a face.

''Okay, dead-dead,'' I corrected myself quickly.

''I guess not, no,'' Bonnie said, giving me a puzzled look.

''No! Steer clear,'' Caroline suddenly exclaimed, catching herself, and all of us, getting into these kind of conversations again. ''And don't say you aren't interesting. You're like, the biggest mystery in this room.''

I made a face. ''Yeah... Wish I wasn't.''

''We'll figure it out,'' Elena promised.

''Thanks,'' I smiled. The fact that they hadn't actually killed made me feel a little better. But if someone managed to pull out that dagger, I hoped they were prepared for him, because if he wasn't happy the first time... I sighed, shrugging it off. ''Any other questions?'' I added with a small laugh, trying to get back from all the supernatural, following Caroline's example, despite it being kind of ironic.

''I have one!'' Caroline exclaimed. ''And seriously this time,'' she added, glaring at Elena. ''Chinese food or pizza?''

''Pizza,'' Bonnie decided, with no objections.

''Good. I will get it,'' Caroline said.

''Do you believe that Jonas is being sincere?'' Elena turned to Bonnie.

''I don't know what to believe,'' Bonnie sighed. ''I think he's at a loss. Not sure who to trust.''

''Join the club,'' Elena sighed with a sullen look on her face.

''Who's Jonas?'' I asked curiously, not really keeping up with the conversation.

''Elijah's witch,'' Bonnie said, her lips tightening.

''Well, what are we gonna do about this movie situation?'' Caroline changed the subject again. Somehow, every conversation always drifted towards something horrible, so I could understand why. Her eyes lit up. ''Ooh, what about The Notebook?''

''Caroline, how many times have you seen that movie?'' Elena laughed and Bonnie looked at her like she was saying, 'Caroline, please. Not again.'

''That is so not the point,'' Caroline frowned, pouting.

''Well, yeah, I mean-'' Elena began but stopped when Jenna walked in the room, dropping her purse on the counter and staring at the five of us.

''What's going on?''

''Girl's night,'' Elena explained slowly. She looked like she was tipping on her toes around Jenna, because she seemed to choose her words carefully and her smile was one of pity, even if she didn't mean for it to be.

Jenna nodded, looking down at the floor. I could tell she was kind of glum. At least, she was sad and frustrated enough for me too feel it.

Elena frowned, took a deep breath and let out: ''How are you doing?''

Jenna pressed her lips together. ''You heard about my fight with Rick,'' she didn't ask, but stated. Even if I felt for Jenna, I was happy to know what it was all about in advance for a change.

''He feels terrible,'' Elena said.

''Is this some kind of disguised attempt to cheer me up?'' Jenna asked and gestured towards us facing her lined up almost like a jury.

''No, no,'' Elena said quickly. ''This is about... us girls hanging out and you know... we'll be here if you happen to want to talk or...'' she trailed off, looking to us for backup.

''Because I am a winner when it comes to successful relationships,'' Caroline chimed in. That got a tiny smile out of Jenna. ''You too?''

Caroline shook her head, sighing.. ''You've no idea.''

''Mm... okay then,'' Jenna walked over to the fridge and began rummaging. ''This whole Isobel thing, he's hiding something from me,'' she mumbled, irritated, with her head in the fridge. She slammed the door shut with a sigh and a beer in hand.

''To play devil's advocate,'' Caroline began, ''maybe there's a great reason why he's not telling you. Maybe he's just trying to protect you.''

Jenna looked like she could kill someone. ''Well...'' She swallowed. ''That's not his call to make. I mean, I deserve the truth, everybody does.''

''Sometimes it's harder than that,'' Caroline went on. I knew she just wanted to help, but Jenna didn't know what she did, and from Jenna's point of view this was just about her boyfriend keeping things about her about his ex-wife – anyone would get upset about that.

''Not if it's somebody you care about, it isn't.''

I felt really heavy. It was like having someone press down their hands on you all over the body, light enough so that I could breathe but enough to be uncomfortable. Talking about it obviously made Jenna feel worse.

There was a moment of awkward silence. I squirmed uncomfortably, not really having anything to say and obviously Bonnie felt the same, while Elena looked like she was trying to find words of comfort for her aunt.

''You know what we need?'' Both Bonnie and I looked to Caroline with relief on our faces. ''Dancing.'' She was almost bubbling with excitement. ''There is a band at the Grill.''

''I'm in,'' Bonnie said immediately.

''Me too,'' I quickly agreed.

* * *

The Grill was packed. It wasn't every night it turned into a mini club, but whenever Roberta booked a band it seemed like half the town was there.

I was a little fidgety, I had to admit. Big crowds, lots of people, lots of emotion – not my forte. And I had said yes quickly to get out of that awkward moment at Elena's house, without thinking about what situation I was actually putting myself in. But standing next to Elena and Bonnie not too far from the stage, I suddenly found myself swaying slightly to the music. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. So far, everything was kind of calm and I felt like I could handle it pretty well.

After the band finished their second song, Caroline suddenly tossed her jacket to Elena who gave her a puzzled look as she walked up to the stage and grabbed the microphone.

''Hey everybody!'' she called out and I glanced at Elena, but she was as clueless as I was. ''Let's hear it for the band! Aren't they awesome?'' Caroline clapped her hands, making the crowd in front of the stage join in too. What was she up to?

''So, there's this guy, and he told me to tell him how I feel about him... Like it's easy,'' she laughed nervously. ''You know, just because I talk a lot doesn't mean I always know what I'm actually talking about,'' she babbled. ''Like now, when I'm feeling loofy and I don't really know how to express myself...'' The lead singer went to get the microphone from her, but she stopped him and blurted out: ''I can sing!''

And sing she did. I didn't know whether to be surprised or not, because of course Caroline Forbes was good at everything, and everything included singing. But it was kind of surreal watching her basically serenade Matt from the stage and I couldn't help but feel a little bit happy for her when he walked up and gave her a heated kiss in front of everybody. I wasn't sure if he knew what she was. After spending some time with her, I realised how easy it could be to hide it.

After that performance, it was like the party **actually** started. Everyone apparently got very excited by the scene before them, and especially Elena and Bonnie. From what I'd learned, Caroline's relationship with Matt had had its ups and downs.

The band started their set again and Elena and Bonnie took my hand and dragged me into a weird, but fun, three-man dance that had us laughing our heads off by the end of it. Usually, these kinds of tight crowds bothered me, but now they only amplified my excitement and that wasn't too bad.

When the next song began, we took it easy and chatted as well as we could with all the ruckus around us. It was almost as if I was high on everyone's happiness, and maybe the equal emotion of everyone at the restaurant was what made it so easy to notice any anomalies.

My eyes twitched. Something was off. Looking around, at first all I could see were smiling and dancing people, and everything seemed just the same as it had been after Caroline went up and sung for Matt. That really had upped the mood. But someone here, among all of these people, was in terrible agony.

For a second, I thought I'd just imagined it and was just about to shrug it off and go back to having fun, when I found the source of the searing pain that once again chilled through my body.

In the corner of my eye, I saw a dark skinned man walk determinedly through the crowd. It was like he was surrounded by an aura of ache, thudding through the air with every beat his heart made, like a pulsing wave of pain sweeping across the room every few seconds.

Frowning, I tried to follow him as he disappeared from my view, blocked by people who obviously weren't aware of the iciness he exuded.

I could faintly hear Elena ask me were I was going but I couldn't let him out of my sight. Gently pushing through the crowd I found him again, standing still in basically the middle of the restaurant. I noticed Bonnie appearing next to him pleading something, but he didn't seem to listen. His cold gaze focused on something in front of him and he raised his hand. His lips trembled and I grabbed my stomach, grunting in pain, as a single tear escaped his eye.

First, the lights went out. Then I blinked, and the bar was on fire.

And then everyone started screaming.

Never in my life had I felt anything like it. It was like I was struck down by a chilled knife, and then repeatedly stabbed by it all over my body, over, and over again. Something exploded nearby and the fear of all the people around crippled me. I wanted to scream but all that came out was a strained, hoarse groan unlike any sound that had ever left my body. My body sank to the floor, thudding with the feet of panicked people.

I saw red and orange flash through my eyelids as the fire intensified around me, but I couldn't distinguish between flames and people or flames and screams or people and myself. It grew warmer and warmer, but if I was burning or if people were stepping on me or if it was blood boiling in my head I wouldn't know – their fear was too strong. My heart was beating faster than it should be able to, trying to keep up with the heartbeats of everyone else.

Then, the fire shining through my eyelids slowly started to fade, but not because it was being put out. The last and only coherent thought that managed to slip through my head before I passed out by the weight of everyone else's fear and pain was, _if only I could die as myself_.

* * *

 **So yes, Elijah's staked at the moment, but I can't wait until he gets back because there'll be more interaction between Evangeline and him, always like writing those parts :)**


	23. Chapter 21

**Hello to the world from the regretful-but-have-to-take-it-easy writer of this lovely (I hope) story! I apologise, but the updates might not be as frequent as every week, which they haven't been for a while (I was really proud of that when I started posting this :P), but I keep on writing! I hope you all have a wonderful day/night wherever you are, and enjoy this next chapter :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _''Your mind will answer most questions_

 _if you learn to relax and wait for the answer''_

\- William S. Burroughs

* * *

It was bright in the room when my eyes fluttered open. Too bright. Closing them again, I felt my fingers and toes twitch when my body started coming to.

''She's awake!'' someone called, instantly being hushed by another person. I couldn't tell who it was, but they sounded familiar.

Begrudgingly opening my eyes, I blinked a couple of times before I could make out anything. It wasn't actually that bright, light just seemed to annoy my eyes.

''W-what happened?'' I croaked. ''W-where am I?'' My throat was dry and my chest felt heavy trying to get the words out.

''You're in your room,'' a familiar voice told me.

I flew up in shock, but fell back against the bed immediately because my body didn't seem to have the energy to keep me in an upright position.

''What happened?'' I asked again with cough and looked around groggily. Elena was there, so was Bonnie. Every time I blinked they became clearer.

''What do you remember?'' Elena asked, gazing at me carefully.

''N-nothing,'' I said, smacking my tongue against my dry pallet. ''I think.'' I tried to remember something, anything, but came up blank.

''Jonas set fire to the Grill,'' Elena said mournfully. ''He blocked all the exits. We found you on the floor when we could get out.''

I frowned. ''On the floor?''

''It must've been too much for you, all the panic, you know?''

Pain flashed through my head and I brought a shaky hand up to touch my temple, moaning. ''Ow...''

''I think...'' Elena gulped. ''I mean, you were pretty bad. Physically, too. Someone might've kicked at your head.''

Frowning, I traced the skin on the side of my face. It was coarse and tender, probably covered in dried up blood or just the roughness of scabs.

''Is...'' I swallowed. ''Is everyone okay?''

Elena opened her mouth to say something, only to close it again and throw a quick glance at Bonnie.

''Yeah... now, at least.''

''What do you mean?''

''Look, you need to rest,'' Elena said. ''Really. I'll tell you everything later.''

I wasn't really happy about it, but my mind was so clouded that didn't fuzz over it for too long. Just when my eyes were about to shut close I jerked awake, realising something.

''Work!'' I exclaimed, shuffling, trying to get up but my body didn't do what I wanted it to. ''Work, I have work tonight!''

''Ev, I don't think the Grill is going to be open today,'' Elena said calmly.

Relaxing again, I let out a confused sound. ''Oh.'' I remembered. ''Of course.'' Frowning, I touched my bruised head again. Maybe I had a concussion?

I felt two hands gently press me back against the pillows again and I closed my eyes voluntarily this time, letting out a breath that felt like the weight of the world in my lungs, and my body relaxed slightly, falling asleep to the hushed voices of Elena and Bonnie whispering words I couldn't make out.

* * *

When I woke, I was alone. Adjusting to the light and and managing to focus in on everything around me was much easier this time around, so the sleep had obviously done me some good. _How long had I been asleep for?_ I frowned, trying to find my phone.

''You're awake,'' Elena came in through the half-open door and smiled at me. ''We didn't want to wake you, so we let you be alone.''

I nodded, still feeling a bit out of sorts. ''What time is it?''

''You've been asleep for...'' Elena looked at her phone, ''ten hours, give or take.''

She came over and sat down on the edge of the bed. She motioned towards something on the nightstand next to me. ''I got you some water. You should drink.''

I reached out for the glass with a shaky hand and took a sip, feeling a little better almost immediately, because my throat was still really dry.

''You look a little better,'' she commented.

''I guess,'' I frowned, staring absentmindedly at the glass in my hand.

''What's wrong?''

What was wrong? Apart from feeling like a big lump of jelly, I was angry. Angry and frustrated beyond belief. I suppose I should be grateful I was well enough to have energy to feel like that, but it was like my insides were boiling and a part of me just wanted to punch a whole through the nearest wall.

''I need to learn how to control this,'' I said through gritted teeth. ''I have to, I mean, look what happened! I couldn't do **anything**! I couldn't help anyone, I couldn't-''

''It's not your fault,'' Elena said.

''But it is!'' I exclaimed feverishly. ''I can't control this... this thing, so of course it's my fault!''

''It's not your fault that you are who you are, though.''

''I should be able to control it,'' I whispered, sinking, defeated, back into the pillows. I felt my forehead getting hot and sweaty from the energy running through me.

''Then...'' Elena looked determined. ''I'll help you.''

I gazed up at her. ''What?''

''You heard me,'' she said.

''But...'' I paused. ''How? How can I prepare for something like yesterday?''

''We'll start with the easy part, the projecting-thing,'' she decided. ''You have to start somewhere, right?''

I turned my eyes to my now tightly clasped hands.

''What is it?''

I debated whether or not I should tell her. We had established some kind of friendship over the last months, but I always hesitated when it came to opening up to people. I was so used to bottling my emotions up so that they wouldn't seep out and cause trouble. Thinking about it now, it was probably worse to keep everything in – but I was so used to it.

Meeting her eyes briefly, I drew a shaky breath and stared down again.

''I'm scared,'' I whispered.

Elena sat down next to me. ''I know.''

She reached out her hand and put it on top of mine before I'd even realised what she'd done.

''No! What are you-''

''You don't have to be scared,'' she smiled tentatively. ''See?''

I paused, and realised that I didn't feel anything.

''I don't feel any different – even though you're scared,'' Elena told me with an encouraging smile. ''It doesn't happen all the time, does it?''

''No,'' I mumbled, ''but-''

''I mean, you must've touched your mum thousands of times,'' she continued. ''Does every touch mean that you read or transfer something?''

''No, but-''

''Then you shouldn't have to be scared, especially not if we start practising,'' she concluded.

''But,'' I said meekly, one last time.

''I know you're brave, Ev,'' Elena looked at me seriously. ''We were kidnapped together, you know.''

Grimacing, I squirmed and clenched my fists. ''That's just... I've had this my whole life, you know?''

It wasn't really the easiest thing to face what you'd spent your whole life avoiding. I knew I had to make it work, I had to. But I was so, so scared when I was on the brink of actually doing it.

''So...'' Elena asked carefully after a while of me debating in my head. ''Are you up for this?''

I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath, filling my lungs, and then slowly letting it out. I nodded, albeit hesitant. ''But maybe later...'' I frowned, thinking that I'd forgotten something. Slapping my hand over my mouth, I gasped. ''Where's my mum? Does she know what happened?''

''She called your phone, so I told her you were a little shaken up but we took you home. She sent someone here to check your head, too. You might be a little sore for a week or so, but nothing serious.''

''Oh,'' I breathed. ''Good.''

''By the way,'' Elena said, and she had that tone in her voice that I'd learned she only had when she was about give bad news. ''Katherine's out of the tomb, too. So be careful.''

''How'd she get out?''

''Elijah's compulsion wore off when he died'', Elena said with an irritated look on her face.

Frowning, I prepared myself to ask a question I'd wanted to ask for a while.

''Elena...'' I began. ''How can you talk so... I mean... How can you talk about death so easily?''

She smiled tiredly. ''It's not normal, I know,'' she said, looking a little sad. ''But it's been my normal for so long now. And...'' she inhaled. ''If it comes down to the people that I love getting killed, or me, I know what my choice is going to be.''

* * *

When my mum got home, she made a lot of fuss so Elena and I decided that she'd come back later that night when things had calmed down a bit, and I was in the middle of playing a game on my phone when I heard my mother calling from downstairs.

''Honey, Elena Gilbert's here!''

''Coming!'' I shouted back and put the phone aside, jumping off the bed with new found energy and taking a quick look around to make sure my room looked okay, and then skipped down the stairs and saw the brunette in the doorway talking to my mother. My legs felt a little weak and my head throbbed from time to time, but otherwise I felt a whole lot better.

I could tell by my mother's expression that she was happy that I seemed to be hanging out with more people than usual. Sure, she'd basically only learned it yesterday, when Elena called her to say that I'd passed out, but I knew she was pleased nonetheless.

''Okay, so how do we do this?'' I asked Elena when we sat facing each other on my bed, my bedroom door closed.

''Well, it's up to you,'' she began, biting her bottom lip absentmindedly, ''maybe... shielding yourself first?''

''But it's really hard to try to feel something in particular,'' I pointed out with a frown.

''I'll give it a shot,'' Elena shrugged and closed her eyes. She crinkled her nose in concentration and lines creased her forehead. She looked like she was focusing intensely for a few seconds, until her face relaxed and her lips parted in a small smile.

I tentatively reached out and put the tip of my trembling fingers on her outstretched hand. The moment my skin touched hers I felt them warm up, the heat spreading from the tip of my fingers to my whole hand, my arm, my whole body. It wasn't overwhelming, but I could still feel something that I knew came from her.

When I pulled my hand away, she opened her eyes. ''So?''

I sighed, adjusting my pony tail. ''This is never going to work.''

''Hey, don't give me that,'' she threw me a look. ''What happened?''

''Well...'' I tried to shake the feeling off, because it still lingered on. ''I could feel what you felt, so it obviously didn't work.''

''We just have to try again.''

After a few more tries, the hopelessness started to completely take over me.

''Why isn't it working?'' I cried. ''I've accidentally touched people before and not felt anything?''

''Maybe because you're really focused on this now?'' Elena offered.

''Maybe...'' I let out a heavy sigh. ''Okay, let's do it again.''

''Sure,'' Elena said and closed her eyes for what felt like the trillionth time.

I waited until she relaxed again, and then I took a deep breath and tried to focus again. All those books and movies where someone put up a mental barrier never really explained how it could be done. I felt so silly trying to ''shield my brain'', like a complete moron, but at the same time I wondered why I hadn't tried it before.

When I touched her this time, I expected to get all tingly and warm all over again, but the feeling never came. I frowned, but didn't remove my hand, or my focus.

''Elena,'' I mumbled, keeping as still as possible. She hummed in response. ''I think it's working.''

''Really?''

''Yeah,'' I said, a smile tugging at my lips. ''I think-''

I'd started to feel prickling in my fingers and immediately drew my hand back, opening my eyes.

''Well, it _worked_ ,'' I said gloomily, emphasising the fact that it lasted way shorter than I wanted it to.

Elena's brown eyes lit up and she beamed at me. ''That's amazing, though. See, I told you you'd get it! How did you do it?''

I felt really childish explaining it to her, even more so than I did to myself in my own head. But she didn't seem to mind, maybe because she was so used to strange things by now that nothing faced her.

We tried it a few more times, and it worked every time as long as I concentrated enough. After a while I was completely exhausted, my eyes drooping.

''Thank you, Elena,'' I said sincerely. ''Really. You don't know what this means to me.''

''I can imagine,'' she said, giving me a hug. ''We'll keep working on it.''

* * *

After Elena left, I went into the kitchen to grab something small to eat, and just as I was putting my foot on the first step in the staircase my mum called me from the living room.

''Yeah?'' I popped my head past the wall, looking at her. She turned half-way so she could see me from she sofa, and smiled.

''So you're hanging out with Elena Gilbert?''

''I suppose,'' I chewed, lowering the apple from my mouth.

''Anyone else new in your life I've yet to meet?''

Obviously, she meant the ''mystery guy'', but he was dead, and I wouldn't tell her anyhow.

''Caroline Forbes, Bonnie Bennett,'' I counted. ''Sometimes Stefan Salvatore, but mostly because he's Elena's boyfriend, so we just end up at the same place a lot.''

I even surprised myself with how easy it was to sound normal talking about it. To my mother it would sound like we went to the movies, hung out and had pizza or something, when the truth was so much worse. Most of the time. The girl's night had been really fun until the fire happened.

Mum didn't look so tired. Sure, her blonde hair was dishevelled and she had dark circles under her eyes, most likely from working late, but letting out her feelings seemed to have lightened her a little. That made me happy.

''I'm glad you're making friends, honey,'' she said with a smile.

''You make it sound like I'm completely anti-social,'' I huffed.

''You know what I mean.''

I smiled sheepishly. ''Yeah.''

When I got up to my room, I put the plate on my desk and went to close the curtains for the night. But, instead of closing them and turning to my computer for some shows to watch, I opened the window.

I half expected a hands-in-pockets suit clad man to stand there and stare up at me – not like he had done that many times before that I knew of – but the back yard was empty. I tried to tell myself that this wasn't some kind of Stockholm Syndrome-thing I'd started to develop, but I felt weird knowing that my friends had staked him. I couldn't explain it in any other way than that - I felt weird about it. Like I didn't want him to be dead, but not knowing if it was only because I didn't want people I knew going around killing people, or because a part of it consisted of something else. Something else having to do with who'd gotten killed.

I pushed the thought away quickly. I didn't need that to confuse me now. Elijah was dead, and that was it. Period.

There were so many things going on right now, I didn't know how to keep track of everything. Elijah's death, Katherine – whom I'd had the luck to only run into once – getting out of the tomb, and, especially, last night's absolute chaos.

To be honest, I didn't really know how to deal with what had happened last night. Maybe I didn't need to deal with it. I mean, as soon as I'd gotten a bit of my energy and strength back, it was like everything just passed me by like normal. I didn't cry about it, and I didn't curl up on my bed with my teddy bear or cover myself with three blankets and a night light on.

Elena said that this world was basically her normal now, and it seemed, somehow, I'd started to adapt now too. Did I want to? I don't know.

But it sure was easier.

* * *

 **Thank you for the kind reviews by the way, you're all awesome :)**


	24. Chapter 22

**Hi everyone :) Some questions have arisen, I'll try to answer them in the best way I can. First, Innieminnie noticed that it is mentioned quite a lot that Evangeline and her mum work a lot because they ''need the money'' – I intentionally left this without an explanation. So, don't worry, the answer to that will come! Next, why doesn't E wear gloves? Hm... Well, I see it like this: she developed an evasive behaviour really early in life and kind of stuck to that. Also, it's not only the touching that affects her/she can affect, . Also, by not wearing gloves whenever she's around people, she doesn't have to deal with unwanted questions about them. So, it's kind of a safe, yet not-so-safe, route to take, but still.**

 **Then, finally – I really want to thank HouseOfWolves12 for the extremely uplifting review. As some of you know from these author's notes, I have, and have been having for some time, some health issues (more than usual lately); and when I read your comment it just made my whole day/week so much better. Thank you :) I'm glad so many seem to enjoy this story, thanks a bunch for sticking with it guys :D**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries**

* * *

 _'''Go back?'' he thought. ''No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!'''_

 _\- J.R.R. Tolkien_

* * *

About a week had passed since the fire at The Grill and it almost seemed as things were back to normal. The place had been fixed up fairly quickly, and was back in business as usual. I took a few shifts, not as many as before because my mother refused to let me overwork myself after what had happened. My head didn't hurt anymore, but I had a few scabs to show for it.

The only thing that really had changed was that Elena had come over a few times to practice with me. I had to say, for going at it for such a short period of time, I'd actually made some progress. Well... the progress was basically me not feeling as tired after practicing as the first couple of times. So, it wasn't like it was a huge step forward.

It felt like things really just were getting worse and worse. Which was weird, considering how normal everything else in my life seemed. I hadn't been there for any of it, but after everything had happened Elena filled me in on it.

Klaus. I shuddered. Somehow, his name seemed to have that effect on people as soon as they learned about him. I just couldn't help it. The worst thing was how he was a complete phantom – no one seemed to know a thing about him or how he looked. Thank god this was a small town. Any newcomers would surely stand out.

I went out of my room and into the bathroom to splash myself with some cold water, and inspect my face. It wasn't too bad, but still visible, because my skin was so light. I decided that, since I had nothing else to do today, I'd make some fruit salad or something and watch a movie. Maybe that could get the restlessness out of me a bit.

When I got back into my room, I heard my phone vibrate on the desk. Rushing to pick up, I didn't even check who the caller was, but I knew the voice on the other line from somewhere, I just couldn't place her.

''Miss Moreau?''

I pressed the phone a bit closer to my ear, because the sound was muffled for some reason.

''Yes?''

''Hi, this is Karen from Mystic Falls High?''

I thought I recognised the voice on the other side of the line. ''Oh, Karen, hi!'' I greeted the school administrator.

''I was wondering if you could jump in as a chaperone at tonights decade dance,'' she asked hopefully. ''I know we normally don't do that, but you know we trust you and we really are a little short on people.''

''Oh,'' I said, processing for a second. ''Yeah, sure.''

''And the usual compensation, of course,'' Karen added.

''Sure, I'll go.''

We said goodbye and after I'd hung up I skipped down the stairs to get a snack. I opened the door to the fridge and stopped dead in my tracks staring into nothing.

What had I been thinking?

Why did I say yes?

I realised that I'd just thrown myself off a cliff into an ocean of emotion. Was I going to be able to handle it? _You've done things like this before_ , a voice piped up in my head. True, I had. But that didn't end well.

I felt myself starting to cold sweat. I'd already said yes, I couldn't just call back and cancel. And I would get paid.

Shutting the door, I clasped my hands nervously and paced back and forth in the kitchen. I tried to focus on the memory of mine and Elena's practice sessions, because surely; if I'd made progress I should be able to go to a school dance?

I quit my pacing and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter. Then I sat down, and took probably the most decisive bite out of an apple I'd ever taken. No more fretting, I told myself. Just deal with it. I took another bite. I can do this. I should just see it as a form of CBT. This dance was the perfect opportunity to get some practice in, aside from the help I got from Elena.

My mind was completely focused by the time I threw the core in the bin, just do it-LaBeouf style. Then, a thought crossed my mind, letting worry seep into my head again. It was a decade dance. Did I have to dress up, too?

* * *

I got there about half an hour before the whole thing started. A few of the regular staff were already there, and I was ushered towards the snacks table by the Maths teacher, Mr. Marston, and immediately began emptying crisps in bowls. Looking around, I only saw two teachers – and that was including Mr. Marston. Some of the students in the organising committee was there as well, but I couldn't see Caroline anywhere, and I was pretty sure she was part of it. It would surprise me if she wasn't.

I hadn't gone full out dressed up, but somewhere close to it with a dress that was the closest to the sixties I could get out of my wardrobe. It felt a little weird to chaperone, but most of the students still knew me as basically a teacher, so I tried my best to keep on acting like it. An not being completely dressed up, like all of them were, kind of helped.

The music started just before everyone started welling in, and before I knew it I was standing in the midst of a full-fledged party.

So far, I'd managed fine enough. It was hard with so many people around me, but the excitement they felt from coming there had calmed down.

I strolled along the sides of the room, slowly making my way to where the drinks were. There wasn't too much too keep my eyes on, everyone seemed to have fun and behave. Up until now, at least.

When I got a bit closer, I saw Mr. Saltzman leaning casually against one of the tables, gazing out over the crowd.

''Mr. Saltzman!'' I called. When he didn't react, I repeated his name when standing next to him pouring a drink for myself.

His face twitched, in a strange way, into a smile when he realised I was talking to him.

''Hi,'' he drawled, and I thought, that he seemed kind of off. But I could be imagining it. I wasn't really in my best form in situations like this, invaded by so many other people. It was hard to read people. And besides, I hadn't really talked to him in what seemed like forever.

''So, how about this sixties theme?'' was my weak attempt at conversation. I had most of them figured, but not him. Not yet, not his supernatural world persona.

Mr. Saltzman crinkled his nose, looking half disgusted and half horrified. ''Not my decade, not at all.''

''It's kind of in between,'' I agreed. ''But not completely.''

''It was awful,'' he cringed and sipped loudly from the cup in his hand.

I chuckled. ''You make it sound like you were there.''

The smile that crept upon his face was strangely twisted, it almost didn't look like him.

''It's been great chatting, gotta run!'' he exclaimed out of the blue, and gulped down his drink, put the empty cup on the table and disappeared between the dancing mass of students.

His departure took me by surprise, and I found myself, at first, wondering if I'd said anything wrong. Then, I frowned at his back as he walked away, but after a few seconds I shrugged it off and got back to trying to chaperone. There really wasn't that much to do.

I was in the middle of taking a sip from my cup when someone yanked on my arm so hard that I choked and had to spend the next few breaths coughing like a maniac.

''W-what?'' I wheezed when I finally could focus on whoever wanted me for something.

''You need to get out of here,'' Elena's dark eyes were frantic with worry. Fear surrounded her like a mist. ''Like, now.''

''What? Why?'' I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, feeling extremely attractive.

''He's here. Klaus. You need to go,'' she warned. ''Now.''

I looked around, trying to find any unfamiliar face. I hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary at all.

''But...''

''Please,'' she begged.

''I can't just leave you,'' I objected meekly. I didn't know what to do, or how to help, but I felt like I couldn't just bolt. What kind of chaperone would that make me?

''Please,'' she said again and grabbed me by the shoulders, giving a tight squeeze before she turned around and ran off.

My legs started walking on their own. I gently slid through the mass of students. I tried to keep my eyes on Elena, but she disappeared out through the entrance before I'd even gotten across half the room.

The hallway outside was empty. I listened carefully, which was kind of difficult with all the commotion behind the doors behind me. I had no idea where Elena had gone.

Somewhere in the distance I could make out a scream.

It sounded like a girl, high-pitched; but there was no way of telling who it was, or why she screamed. I started running down the hall, but barely got anywhere before choking when someone suddenly slammed me into the lockers.

''Elena told you to leave, didn't she?''

I frowned up at Damon, who was leering down at me with dark eyes. ''Someone was screaming-''

''Yes, and I'll take care of it. Now, _go_.''

He kept his eyes tightly locked on mine, and I realised just about when he did, that he couldn't compel me.

''Shit,'' he mumbled and released his tight grip on my shoulders. ''Just go. We'll deal with it.''

''But-''

''Listen, you can care all you want, okay?'' Damon snapped. ''But we both know your only contribution is super unpredictable, so just listen to me for once when I tell you to go. It's for the best, believe me.''

I looked at him, and knew he was right. In a blink, he whooshed away and was gone, and I was left leaning against the locker wall. I didn't leave. I waited, listening intensely. No one was screaming now, but the air was thick with grief.

Damon was right. I didn't really have control over my powers – and they were my only defence if I threw myself into anything. I didn't know what I had been thinking. What chance could I possibly stand against an original vampire?

I pressed my fists against my face in anger – at myself, not Damon, or anyone else. I wanted to help them, but what could I do except get in the way? I cursed myself for the blasted empathy that seemed to make up my whole being. If I couldn't keep myself in order, then all I was... was a hindrance.

Now, more than ever, I realised the importance of getting the grasp of my powers. I couldn't keep on cowering. If it meant I could help people – then I'd rather take that than the alternative. Because, right now, I felt so discouraged. Lowering my hands from my face, I stared at the floor in front of me. If I didn't get control over this now, I could put people in serious danger.

I'd been dragged into this mess, but it went against all that I was, and wanted to be, to not be able to help people and only be a burden for them.

Slipping my phone out of my bag, I saw that I'd gotten a text.

 _Elena's gone home with Stefan._

Really, Damon was as short in his messages as in real life.

 _What happened?_

I pressed send and waited.

 _Don't worry._

My brow furrowed when I saw his reply. Yes, because that's the answer I wanted. Then, my phone vibrated again.

 _Klaus left. Everyone and everything's fine. Go back to chaperoning._

I should be grateful I even got that much, I supposed. How I was meant to clear my mind of this, whatever had happened, I hadn't a clue. It was like something was boiling under my skin – I wasn't sure if it was anger, fear or adrenaline. Clenching my fists and relaxing them for a few times, I tried to get rid of the feeling.

My legs took me in the direction Damon had went before. I walked down the hall and turned left to one of the small lounge areas with a vending machine, and a few tables and chairs. I stopped immediately when I saw the mess in front of me.

There was paper spread all over the floor, and when I breathed in, my nose was filled with the smell of burnt electronics. I looked up to the lights in the ceiling. The glass on them was broken. I took a few tentative steps around. Paper crunched under my feet, and when I took a closer look I realised that they were posters and notices from the wall. Apart from all that, there really wasn't any other signs of a fight or something. No blood, thank god. And Damon had said they were all fine, but...

I rubbed my arms up and down to try and warm myself up. It wasn't that it was cold, but whatever happened here made the hairs on my arms stand up.

Sighing, I turned around and walked back through the doors. If I wasn't going to get any answers here, and if they couldn't tell me yet, I suppose I'd just have to take Damon's word – despite how anxious it made me.

My steps echoed in the empty hallway when I headed back to the dance. I didn't know how I'd be able to focus, but it was soon over. And then I could go home.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, I was completely worn out. I'd guess it was mainly because I was woken by my phone ringing, but last night most likely had something to do with it as well.

''H-'' I cleared my throat, ''hello?''

''Ev?'' Elena's voice sounded muffled through the phone. Instantly, I felt more awake. I'd tried getting through to Elena last night, but with no luck. So, I didn't know a thing about what had happened with Klaus.

''Yes?'' I sat up a little in bed. ''How are you?''

''I-'' She went quiet.

''Elena?'' I asked. ''You there?''

A scratchy sound filled my ear. Elena whispered something inaudible.

''I can't hear you-''

She spoke quietly. ''Can you come to Stefan's house?''

''Now? Why are you whispering? I can barely hear you.''

''I don't want them to hear,'' she whispered. ''I need your help.''

* * *

When I got to the Salvatore house it was still morning, but the sun had peeked out. Elena met me at the door, opened it slowly, and closed it after me without almost any sound.

She put her finger to her lips, gesturing me to be quiet, and led the way down the hall into through a door that led down to the basement.

Only after the door had been closed and we were standing on the stone floor down in the dark did she open her mouth to say something, and even then it was only a whisper.

''Thanks for coming.''

''Are you okay?'' I whispered back. ''What happened yesterday?''

''I'll tell you about it later?'' Her eyes begged me. ''Please?''

Her answer nagged me a little, but I obliged. Whatever it was she wanted my help with was obviously important.

''Come on,'' she mouthed and walked to a door opening a bit further away.

I followed carefully behind her, to see what it was she wanted help with.

When I saw what lay before me in the small space inside of the open door, I gasped and covered my mouth with one hand, involuntarily stepping back against the doorframe.

''Is that...'' I couldn't even bring myself to finish.

His skin was grey and thin as paper, crackled; like it would fall apart at the smallest touch. Covered completely in dust, his suit torn... it seemed impossible that he could come back to life. Would he look like that, still?

''Elena...'' I bit my quivering lip. ''He looks...''

It was like she'd read my mind. ''Remove the stake, then they're back to normal. And some blood, I guess,'' she mumbled, frowning at his body, like she didn't know if she should do whatever she was planning.

''If we're both here he is more likely to hear us out,'' Elena bit her lip, ''I think. I didn't want to take any chances.''

My breath caught in my throat. She wanted to _wake him up_?

''But...'' I gulped when Elena kneeled next to Elijah's motionless body. ''Why?''

''He said he wanted Klaus dead'' Elena claimed. ''And if we pull the dagger out of him...'' she drew a sharp breath, ''we can use it to kill Klaus.''

I stayed where I was, but Elena was still fixated on Elijah. For a few seconds, her hand hovered over the white oak stake imbedded in Elijah's chest. Then, in one quick motion, she pulled it out.

He didn't wake up at once. Elena moved back a little and leaned against the rough wall. I stayed put – close to the door. I had no idea what was going to happen, how he'd wake up, how mad he'd be. Elena seemed to handle it like it was nothing.

Suddenly, Elijah drew a sharp breath and his body convulsed.

Elena rushed to his side. ''Elijah?''

His gaze was fixated at her, and he mumbled: ''Katerina...''

I just stared at him. He didn't fall apart, despite looking so fragile. Elena quickly hushed him. ''It's me, it's Elena.''

''My god,'' his voice quavered, and then his head fell back against the floor.

It was really, really strange to see him like this. To see someone, so powerful, so weak. It made me uneasy.

''Is he...?'' I started but, didn't get to finish.

Even if I knew we had to be quiet, I couldn't help but let out a strained croak instead of a scream, when I saw and heard the first crack.

I wished I didn't have to see it, but even if I closed my eyes I wouldn't escape the sounds. Elijah's body twisted in freakish ways, cracked and snapped back and forth like nothing I'd ever seen before.

''I can't breathe,'' Elijah forced out. Somehow, he got on his feet, and whooshed back and forth in the room so fast I got a little dizzy.

''What's happening?'' I said in horror. ''Elena?''

''I-'' She seemed at a loss for words.

''I can't'' Elijah stared at me, grunting. ''I can't be in this house.''

Elena's eyes widened when something dawned on her. ''You're not invited in! He's not invited in, Ev!'' He wheezed something inaudible before running out the open door and away from us. Elena and I stared wide-eyed at each other before we took of after him.

We found him on his knees outside the front door. I glanced worriedly at Elena. He looked so angry. He tried to get in, but an invisible barrier was in the way.

''What happened?'' he asked, face grim.

'' _Shh_ ,'' Elena hushed him. She tapped her finger against her ear and looked towards the upper floor, where Stefan and Damon was. ''I'll tell you. Not here. Can I trust you?''

''Can I trust _you_?'' Elijah retaliated. His eyes wandered from Elena to me. My heart jumped. His eyes drifted down towards my ribcage, like he'd heard it.

I heard Elena let out a sigh, but couldn't tear my eyes away from Elijah. The image of his convulsing body was forever etched on my mind. When Elena suddenly handed over the stake I felt like grabbing her hand and taking it back – if it was so powerful, we should keep it, right?

But I quickly came to my senses. Elijah probably wouldn't accept either of our words, no matter how interesting we seemed to be to him.

''We need to leave,'' Elena nodded towards me. I hesitated to step over the threshold. My eyes met Elijah's again, and the corner of his lip turned up into a small smile. Not a friendly smile, really, more of a jeering one.

He moved when I stepped past him, but I still held my breath. I felt his eyes on me, but I kept mine on the ground.

''You're hurt,'' he commented. ''What happened?''

''I'm sure Elena will tell you about it,'' I mumbled and waited for Elena to shut the door, suddenly very conscious about my face and the scabs on it.

I'd taken the bike there, since Elena seemed so keen on keeping quiet. How any of that ruckus had avoided the ears of both Stefan and Damon was beyond me, but the house remained silent. Elena walked straight for her car, but I slowed down and stopped before I got there.

I understood that she was taking the car somewhere for her and Elijah to talk, but obviously, she knew more than me and I didn't quite know what to do or where to go. I didn't want to leave her with him, but at the same time I didn't know what my place riding along with them would be.

''Elena,'' I called out softly, trying to get her attention.

Her dark eyes peeked over the opened car door, before she walked away from the car and came up to me.

''You don't have to come,'' she told me, seeing my tentativeness. ''I don't want to drag you into something...'' she trailed off. Her hand went in her pocket and a few seconds later she held up her phone to me.

 _I don't want you to have to use yourself as leverage, somehow_. _I think the dagger is enough to get him talking._

It made sense now – why she'd called me. Elijah's interest in my powers could have been used as a backup. I didn't _think_ it offended me, but I also didn't want to divulge if it wasn't necessary. Elena understood that.

''Will you be okay on your own?'' I asked in a low voice, even though I knew Elijah could hear everything we said.

She nodded, and I believed her. ''I'll stop by your house when we're done, and tell you everything.''

I felt a little relieved. ''Okay.'' She hadn't decided to keep me out of the loop.

My eyes involuntarily went to Elijah. He was so difficult, so extremely difficult, to read. But Elena was easier, and I trusted her on that she'd be fine.

''I'll see you later then?''

Elena nodded. ''Yeah. I'll text you when I'm on my way.''

And so, I turned my back to them and got on my bike, pedalling away on the dirt road through the forest, completely unaware of a dishevelled Elijah studying me intently from afar.


	25. Chapter 23

**I was supposed to upload this chapter earlier, but life kind of got in the way again. I'd hate to use ANs to vent, but basically, I've been really ill as you know, and now my boyfriend of several years has left me. So... life kind of sucks, and I didn't have inspiration or aspiration to do anything for several weeks. All I can say is: thank god for dark indie music – which most of the soundtrack for this story is made up of, so maybe that's kind of productive? XD I might link a Spotify playlist by the next update, by the way. Not sure yet.**

 **So yeah, I hope you understand and still enjoy reading even though updates are scarce. I think I'll stick to fictional men from now on... :P**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, only my own characters and plots.**

* * *

 _''Death isn't the end_

 _it's the beginning''_

\- Ghost Whisperer

* * *

''I am so glad that I was home sick when that happened. I can't even... like, I can't even imagine how _awful_ that must've been.''

I grimaced. ''Yeah...''

I was walking down the road towards my house with Sarah after spending the morning walking around shops and hanging out. It was inevitable that the fire would come up. I was glad, too, that she didn't work that night. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

''I just hope they've done the fire exists properly this time,'' she said, looking pale.

''Mhm,'' I agreed, not quite knowing what to say. I crossed my arms and rubbed them up and down. It was a little chilly outside.

After spending time enough walking to make even my legs tired, Sarah had asked to see my house, so I obliged. We figured we could have some tea and coffee. Tea for me, coffee for her. I almost got a foul taste in my mouth just thinking about coffee. _Ugh_...

''I can't believe I've never been to your place,'' Sarah changed the subject. She was good at that sort of thing. ''I mean, we've known each other for a while.''

''I haven't seen your place either,'' I pointed out, and she stuck her tongue out.

''You know, a person's room can tell a lot about her,'' she looked at me seriously. ''So I guess I can expect... books and a bed?''

''Basically,'' I laughed. It wasn't like I was ashamed of it. I thought about her for a moment. ''So your room would... be a surveillance hideout? To keep track of all the gossip?''

Sarah feigned being offended. ''Why, I never-'' Then she burst out laughing, because she knew just as well as I did; that was a pretty accurate guess.

She eyed the houses along the street. ''Which one is it?''

I pointed. ''I think my mum's here,'' I guessed at the parked car and light in the kitchen. Sometimes she forgot to turn it off, but otherwise it meant that she was home.

Digging the keys out of my bag and unlocking the door, I let Sarah step in first.

''I'm not sure that we have that much at home, but I think so,'' I continued. ''Otherwise, we could just go somewhere else-''

''Ev,'' Sarah interrupted my babbling. When I stepped in and looked at her, she nudged me in the side with her elbow. Her eyes were focused on something down the hall, and when I followed her gaze, it felt like my heart jumped right up my throat.

''Good afternoon.''

Up until now, I'd felt like I always had to stay vigilant whenever I left my house. My house had been my safe place. No vampires could enter.

So, seeing Elijah standing before me, where I never thought I'd see him, had me completely at a loss for words and actions.

Sarah nudged me several times. She probably thought I was shy or something, that my silence meant something else.

''Hi!'' Sarah greeted him, and I noticed the giggle in her voice. She was all going to be all over this.

''Ev?'' she nudged me again. ''Did you know he was going to be here?''

I stared at Elijah, frowning slightly. ''No.''

My mother appeared next to Elijah and smiled happily at me, taking a few steps to give me a hug.

''Evangeline, we have a guest for dinner tonight.''

I ignored her and kept my watchful eye on Elijah. ''What are you doing here?''

''Your mother was kind enough to let me in,'' he explained.

Of course. How could I be so stupid? Being on vervain only prevented compulsion, but if my mum was somehow convinced to let him in anyway... Why didn't I think of that? _Stupid, stupid, stupid_...

''You've already met?'' mum looked between the two of us, surprised.

''Yes, we met a while ago,'' Elijah answered with a plastered on smile. At least, it seemed like one. Like always, he was terribly difficult to read.

''Oh... oh!'' Something dawned in her eyes. She leaned in and whispered to me: ''Is he the guy? He's a bit old, isn't he?''

If she only knew... I noticed Elijah's mouth twitching. No doubt he'd heard what she said.

''Janine offered me to stay for dinner. I hope you don't mind?''

Sure, she _offered_. The way I was glaring at him, he probably knew exactly what I was thinking.

''Oh, no, she doesn't mind,'' my mother paid my facial expression no attention. ''Do you, honey?''

''Mum, no-''

''Maybe we'll take a rain check on that coffee, huh, Ev?'' Sarah winked at me. She probably thought she was doing me a favour.

''Elijah is more than welcome, Evangeline,'' my mother insisted. Something seemed off, because her eyes were almost empty as she said it. Like she was compelled. But how would he have done that?

I had to stay home, now. And I'd really rather keep the people involved to a minimum, so I leaned in towards Sarah. ''Is that okay?'' I mumbled, to check. Any other situation, I would have offered her to stay.

''As long as you text me,'' she grinned mischievously. ''See you at work?''

* * *

''So, Elijah, you didn't tell me what you were in town for? Or you did, and I forgot...'' my mother frowned.

''I'm here doing some research,'' he said and took a sip from the wine glass in front of him.

''Research?''

''Yes, Jenna Sommers was kind enough to let me take a look at some of the historical society's documents.''

Elijah smiled at me when he saw me still looking at him.

I'd felt so strange when I found out that he'd been staked. Now, I didn't know what to feel. Like he'd violated my safe space, for sure.

''Do you plan to stay around?'' my mother suddenly got that defensive look on her face. She could be quite stern, not only at work, but at home as well. ''If you're only here for work? Of course, people can keep in touch easier nowadays; when I was little you had to call from home and schedule beforehand and then hope that your friends showed up, because otherwise you wouldn't have known what had happened to them-''

''Mum,'' I cut her off. I didn't think that was the compelled Janine speaking, if she was compelled, and I really didn't want her to go down that road. Not with him in the room.

''I understand that Evangeline works at a restaurant?'' Elijah directed the question to my mother. He seemed to enjoy this... this charade. Why did he have to bring her into this?

''Mostly,'' my mother nodded. ''But she substitutes at the high school from time to time, as well.''

''Mum!'' I didn't know if he already knew that, but maybe he didn't.

''What?'' she eyed me strangely. Her grey eyes had that empty look about them again. Like she was somewhere else. He had to have gotten to her.

I frowned at my mother, and then looked at Elijah. ''Would you kindly leave?''

''Evangeline, don't be rude,'' my mother accused. ''We've barely gotten to dessert!''

''I think Elijah might have other things to attend to.'' I had no idea if he would listen to me. Him being inside my house was violating enough, so why would he? He'd already proven that he didn't have any respect for those boundaries.

''No, I'm afraid that she is right,'' Elijah kept his eyes locked on mine. I couldn't read him at all, and it frustrated me. He only looked away to offer a smile to my mother. ''Tonight has been wonderful Janine. Thank you for a lovely dinner.''

I followed suit when my mother accompanied him to the door. When the door closed behind him, I stood there feeling completely helpless, because I knew that the closed door wasn't something to be considered safe anymore.

And my mother, apparently, thought he was the nicest man to ever cross the state line into Virginia. She was probably planning our wedding in her head already. But there was no blame to be put on her. I might have felt the same way, not knowing what I did.

I stayed downstairs for a while, keeping an eye on mum, and checking the windows from time to time. But he seemed to have left.

It took a while for me to feel okay with going upstairs. Mum sat in the living room watching TV, and I left the door to my room open so I could hear her constant commentaries on whatever was going on.

Sinking down on the edge of my bed, I tried to calm my heart that hadn't stopped racing yet. It didn't go too well.

''Your mother is quite the cook,'' a mellow voice rang from the door, and I jumped, barely holding back a yelp.

Turning around, I found Elijah leaning casually against my doorframe. I swallowed and clenched my eyes shut for a split second hoping that when I opened them he would be gone. However, I had no such luck.

''You didn't think to ring the bell?''

He raised an eyebrow at me. ''I apologise.''

''You compelled my mother, didn't you?'' I accused, hoping for an answer to my mother's suspicious behaviour. ''How? I-''

''Put vervain in a necklace?'' he cut me off. ''She wasn't wearing it.''

''You know, if you'd just been polite and asked me I might have let you in,'' I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him.

''Come now, we both know that isn't true.''

I opened my mouth only to close it again. I didn't know where all the anger came from. I should be more scared than I was, but for some reason, all I could feel was frustration over him so effortlessly getting access to my house. How he'd used my mum. It was like I'd completely forgotten how dangerous he was.

''So this is your room? How quaint.'' He walked along the wall with my bookshelves and studied them.

''You have a diverse taste,'' he noted and glanced at me. ''Do you read much?''

I frowned. What was this small talk about?

Elijah picked a book from the shelf and took a closer look at it. I don't know what came over me, but I walked up to him and snatched it out of his hands.

''All right, that's enough,'' I said and put it back on the shelf. ''What do you want, Elijah?''

''You're not going to ask me what I spoke to Elena about?''

''I was going to ask her,'' I replied coldly. We'd just not had a moment to talk about it yet.

''What are you?'' The way his dark eyes bore into mine indicated that he was trying to compel me.

'' **I** am on vervain,'' I clarified.

''I would hate to have to use your mother as leverage. I make it my business to know every player on the board,'' he said in a low voice.

I visibly paled. ''You wouldn't. Please.''

''What are you?'' he repeated his question. ''You might be on vervain, but you are also supernatural and therefore, shouldn't need it. What are you?''

''What about that deal you were so keen on?''

''The offer has not passed,'' Elijah picked up a pen from my desk and spun it absentmindedly between his fingers. ''But I find myself... lacking precious time.''

''Klaus?'' I tried. The past couple of weeks, I'd really tried my hardest to keep up with everything, all of the links and connections that seemed to cover this town like a thick cobweb.

Elijah seemed hesitant, but nodded.

''This isn't really the best way to get me to tell you something, you know,'' I informed him. ''It doesn't exactly ooze hey-you-can-trust-me.''

He actually looked like he was struggling to figure out the words to say. But maybe that was just my intuition playing tricks on me.

''Did you compel my mother to answer your questions, too?'' I felt a little sick.

''I didn't ask her about your... peculiarity, did I?''

''But you did,'' I persisted. My mum had been a little to keen on answering, I'd felt it. When Elijah didn't answer with anything but silence, I'd gotten my answer. A chill ran down my spine. How easy it would've been for him to just demand an answer from my mother. So...

''Why didn't you?''

''What is the best way, then?'' Elijah asked, and I frowned.

''Huh?''

''The best way,'' he repeated slowly. ''To get you to tell me something.''

I was a little taken aback by his answer. By a snap of the fingers he could've learned everything he wanted from my mother. This made no sense.

''How about about changed terms?'' I suggested.

''What do you propose?''

''I...'' I began, trying to come up with something I hadn't really thought this through. ''For one, don't enter my house without my permission.''

''For one? You really don't know how to negotiate,'' he remarked. ''Besides, you're not going to take the deal anyway, are you?'' he said, seeming convinced. ''It's just stalling.''

''Maybe not,'' I agreed. ''But maybe I will.''

''And what would you have me do? Beg at your feet?'' Elijah scoffed.

''No,'' I frowned.

''What is it, then? Trust?''

''No offence...'' I began, hoping he wouldn't jump at me. ''But I'm not sure I could trust you. Especially since you basically let yourself in here. And threatened to hurt my mother.''

''I understand.'' He looked at me; expecting an answer, probably.

''Just... let the offer remain, and I promise I will think about it.''

''And what makes you believe that I can have faith in that?''

''When I make a promise to someone, I intend to keep it. Otherwise, what's the point?''

He studied me intently. ''You will honour your word?''

I pinched the bridge of my nose and squeezed my eyes shut with a sigh. ''Yes, I will. A promise is a promise.''

''That doesn't mean anything to me until you live up to it.'' His voice was stern, but his eyes curious.

''I-'' I stopped. It felt as if I'd have to reveal something to him, as a token of some sort.

''And...'' I breathed. ''Okay. I'll give you this.'' I gulped, not sure if this was a good idea or not. ''I know what I can do, but I don't know what I am.'' That was cryptic enough, wasn't it?

Elijah walked up to me and put his fingers under my chin to lift my gaze to his. I froze, terrified of what he might do if he didn't believe me. I expected his skin to be cold, but it wasn't. And his touch wasn't rough or persistent, but gentle. His eyes searched mine and I didn't know how to read him. I kept my hands away from him though, so I didn't accidentally channel what I was feeling.

''You really don't know, do you?'' he murmured.

I shook my head and took a step back, away from him, suddenly feeling even more anxious.

''I told you. And I've also told you I'm a terrible liar. Now, if you wouldn't mind, could you please leave?''

He was still looking at me. ''As you wish. And I...'' he paused. ''I won't enter your home without your consent.''

''Do I have _your_ word on that?'' I asked.

''Yes.''

I swallowed. ''Well...'' I looked at him, trying to look strong and bold, hoping my nervousness wasn't too visible. But who was I kidding, I knew he could hear my erratic heartbeat. ''That doesn't mean anything to me until you live up to it.''

For the first time, Elijah showed somewhat sincerity in what he was thinking. The corners of his mouth turned upwards in a smirk. Not an evil smirk, but an amused one.

''Goodnight, Evangeline.''

And, in a blink, he was gone.

* * *

 **I'm excited to get into some more EvangelineXElijah action. I'm glad you agree that a slow development is good, because I really didn't want to rush it, it wouldn't really feel natural. But as you've seen, they are slowly warming up to each other from here on...**

 **Oh, and a guest reviewer pointed out something that I do agree with. Although I'd not say Evangeline is pining, she is kind of passive. But that is part of the development, in my opinion. We've reached the point now when she's getting more in touch with her powers and such, so a lot has been build up to this point. She will be more independently involved further down the road.**

 **Thank you for all the lovely reviews, they are very much appreciated. You guys are the best!**


	26. Chapter 24

**Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, you guys are awesome :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, only my own characters and plot lines**

* * *

 _''Peace begins with a smile''_

\- Mother Teresa

* * *

''Okay, bye''.

I hung up and put my phone on the desk beside me. Elena had called in the middle of one of my searches trying to figure out what to call myself, and she told me what Elijah had told her. Apparently, he and Klaus were brothers. Figure that.

I had to sit and process all that she had told me for a while. From what she had told me, Klaus was even more frightening now that before. I mean, I thought I was strange; not finding anyone else like me, and no one else seemed to know what I was. But being both a vampire and a werewolf at the same time? Geez.

Eventually snapping out of it and getting on my feet, I went out of my room. ''Mum?'' I called down the stairs. I was pretty sure she didn't have work today, and my guess was confirmed when I found her on the sofa playing with her phone.

''I was going to go get some groceries later, want to come?'' she asked without looking up. I sat down next to her and brought my legs up, resting my chin on my knees.

''I have work 'til four.''

I stared at some crumbs on the coffee table in front of me. My mum had accepted and supported that I wanted nothing to do with my powers. She had accepted that I never wanted to talk about it, or have anything to do with it, over the years. So, me building up the courage to ask her what I was about to ask her wasn't really easy.

''Can I...'' The words stuck on my tongue. Mum glanced up from her phone and immediately put it away when she saw the look on my face.

''What's wrong?''

''Nothing. Nothing's wrong, I just...''

She shifted so that she sat facing me. The necklace I bought her hang around her neck. ''Tell me.''

…. _Here it goes_.

''Lately... I've been practising.'' Wiping off my sweaty palms on my pants, I tried not to look at her, because if I did that I might lose the courage I'd built up. ''I don't want to be afraid of... _it_... anymore.''

Letting out a heavy but relieving sigh, my eyes finally traced their way up to meet my mother's gaze.

The thing is, I wasn't really afraid of her reaction. I knew she would support me no matter what. I was, still, scared of talking about it, mentioning it, having anything to do with my powers at all – because acknowledging them made them real. And I'd never really wanted them. Now, however, controlling them, and not just ignoring their existence, was actually something that could save people's lives; and, I shuddered at the thought, my life.

Being thrown into this mess had almost gotten me killed a few times already. I needed to be able to use my powers to their full extent – that I knew of. Both for myself and those around me who, I had to admit, were slowly becoming my friends.

''You've been practising?'' she asked.

Maybe I shouldn't tell her about getting help from Elena. She wouldn't believe me if I told her that I'd made such good friends with Elena that I'd trusted her with my secret.

''Yeah...'' I affirmed, ''well, as well as I can. I was wondering if...'' I sighed.

''You want my help?'' she suggested with a small smile on her lips.

''Not if you don't want to, or think it's a good idea,'' I quickly added. ''But... I would really like it if... well, if...''

''You think it's possible to control it?''

I paused before I answered. ''Yes, I do.''

''Of course I'll help you, honey,'' she looked at me like I was crazy. ''You know I'm there for you no matter what, but I've always hoped you might come to feel a little more at ease with this.''

''You have?'' I asked, surprised.

She nodded. ''I just never wanted to push you... this has been hard enough on you as it is.''

Her phone vibrated on the table, but she didn't check it. Instead, she put her hands in her lap. If I knew what the next thing she said would be, I would've gotten out of there quicker than lightning.

''May I ask if this has anything to do with that handsome man we had over for dinner?''

''Look-'' I began, but struggled to figure out what to say. My mother, just as Sarah, obviously thought that Elijah and I were a thing.

''No, let me just say something first,'' she cut me off and got that look on her face that had me guessing her next words would be awkward. ''I know I joked about him being older, but that really doesn't matter. And he's around thirty, maybe? That's not so bad.'' She smiled. ''And he's nice.''

If I knew my mother, she had looked forward to this day. Back when I was in school, she would sneak in some comments about boys now and then. It wasn't that I was completely uninterested, I had just never had the time for that stuff. And mum always wanted me to be happy; so, now, she probably equated Elijah and me with happiness. How was I going to get out of this?

''It's... complicated.''

I met her gaze and it felt like she was searching my eyes for a more explicit answer. But, I didn't know how to answer it any better than that.

''Well, you're all grown up. I trust you know what you're doing.''

''Yeah...'' I cleared my throat, really hoping to get as far away from this topic as I could, as soon as possible. I decided to change the subject. ''You want to get the shopping done now?''

She eyed me absentmindedly, but when I waved my hand in front of her face she snapped out of it and got on her feet.

''I'll drive,'' I decided as I followed her to the hall and out the door, grabbing the car keys from a hook on the wall on the way.

She still hadn't said anything as I pulled away from our house, and it actually kind of worried me.

''You okay?'' I asked tentatively.

When she didn't answer, I glanced over at her. She was staring straight ahead, but her eyes weren't focused on anything, and they were almost glazed over.

''Mum?''

''Sorry, I was just...'' she stopped, taking a deep breath. ''You know he – Elijah – reminds me a bit of your dad?''

I frowned. ''How so?''

My dad died when I was little, I had no memory of him, and we rarely talked about it. But now and then, mum got lost in her own mind thinking about him. My dad was an only child, and because of that, I knew we payed for his parents – my grandparents – eldercare, even though I'd never met them.

''It's just a feeling,'' she mumbled, and glanced at me with a soft smile. ''Maybe it's the way he looked at you.''

I gripped the wheel a little tighter. Not knowing what else to do, I decided to play along a little bit.

''If you told me he acts like him then that would be a kinda weird,'' I grimaced. ''So I guess that good?''

Mum snorted. ''No, nothing like that.''

She interpreted his interest in me as _interest_ in me. I knew that wasn't the case. But I had to admit that he seemed to only get more curious and strange every time we met.

We got our shopping done pretty quick, and I had just about time to get home and help get everything in the house before I had to get on my bike and ride towards the Grill, and work.

* * *

My shift at the Grill had been uneventful as could be. Stepping outside and letting the door close behind me, I dug around in my bag for the key to the bike lock, and groaned when I had to dig around in my coat pocket for it instead. When I finally got a hold of the little steel devil I slung the bag over my shoulder and looked up.

''You should consider another way of greeting people,'' I said weakly, when it felt like I could breathe again.

''Walk with me?'' Elijah asked.

I hesitated, but nodded. I unlocked my bike quickly and led it next to me.

''Can I tell you something?'' he asked, as we followed the side of the building and took a right turn to the main road.

''Yes.''

Face wipe of emotion, his gaze swept from me to the row of buildings across the street.

''I have...'' he paused. ''I had a family.''

''Klaus,'' I said, recalling what Elena and I had talked about over the phone earlier.

Elijah put his hands in his pockets. ''Niklaus is my brother,'' he confirmed. ''If you've talked with Elena, then you know that he wasn't the only one.''

''She told me there were more, but I don't remember how many...'' I tried to dig back into my memory.

''Seven, including myself,'' he smiled bitterly.

I eyed him curiously. Where was he going with this?

''My brother disposed of them.''

He met my gaze with an intensity I wasn't prepared for, and my breath hitched in my throat.

Bringing my gaze down to the pavement under my feet, I tried to let it sink in. He was making it seem like all that he had done, every threat and death – that I knew about – had been revenge for his family. I tried my best to wrap my mind about it, but somehow it just came to a halt.

''I say this to you because I think that you might understand.''

And here I was thinking that I absolutely could not understand. Really not knowing where he was going with this, I let him continue nonetheless. What really stumped me was how he chose to talk to both Elena and me about it. Elena, I could understand, considering everything... but me? I mean, I still didn't get why he hadn't just compelled an answer out of my mother about what I was.

''I've been alive for a very long time,'' he began. ''And I believe that... we are forever bound to those with whom we share blood.'' His dark eyes landed on me. ''But we cannot choose our family.''

I had a hard time looking away. His eyes were so intense, and for once it actually felt like I was getting a glimpse of him.

''And...'' he continued. ''That bond... can either be a strength, or a regret.''

I was quiet for a brief moment before I spoke. ''Why are you telling me this?''

''It's just a feeling.'' _Yeah, I got plenty of those intuitions_. ''My family...'' he went on, but stopped. He was probably referring to his other siblings. ''It's what's most important?'' I tried. He nodded.

''But Klaus...''

''Like I said. Either a strength or a regret.''

''He is your brother, though. Can you really...'' I gulped. ''Could you really kill your own brother?''

Elijah chuckled humourlessly. ''If you knew what he has done, what he is capable of, perhaps you would not be so quick to judge.''

''I'm not judging,'' I objected gently. ''I'm _asking_.''

''You are... something else.''

He sounded almost surprised. Maybe he expected me to hate him, or something. But I was just trying to understand. He wanted to know every player on the board – maybe I could play that game too.

''I don't understand why there has to be so much... so much...'' I didn't know what word to use. Evil? Should actions be seen as separate from the cause, or as a means to an end?

''When you have lived as long as I have, you learn to fight fire with fire.''

I don't know if he meant it to or not, but something in his tone was slightly condescending. I was quiet for a second, before I blurted out:

''Don't judge be by my age.''

I hadn't even noticed that we had almost come to a full stop. Increasing the pace a little, I kept my eyes in front of me, avoiding the man next to me.

He didn't say anything, and I could only guess – actually, I couldn't even do that – what he was thinking. We walked in silence for a while, turning around another corner, bringing us around the block, and soon back to the Grill.

''Elena has chosen to trust you, you know,'' I broke the silence after a while.

''I know.''

''And this whole... plan. It depends on you.''

''I know,'' he said again. ''You don't trust me.''

I didn't answer.

''I don't expect you to. You are not as frightened as before, though.''

''That's a human thing,'' I mumbled, throwing a glance towards him. ''Adapting.''

''You were already part of this world, Evangeline,'' he insisted.

I scoffed. ''I was literally dragged into it.''

''Your gifts, whatever they may be, already assured you a place in it.''

''Yeah, well...'' I trailed off, feeling like I could not finding words good enough to say. And you always seemed to have to choose them carefully around him.

When we neared the next intersection, I realised that the conversation was close to an end – and something had been nagging me for a while.

''Can I ask you something?'' I hoped I didn't overstep any boundaries. But, so far, the conversation had been harmless – despite the topics.

''Of course. As long as it does not require me to get answer from you as well. Unless you are willing to give one.''

''Why do I get the feeling that you... I mean,'' I swallowed. ''You treat everyone as disposable at first sight. Why?''

He didn't answer right away. At first, I thought that, maybe, I'd crossed a line, but then he opened his mouth and spoke.

''Like I said.'' He paused. ''I am over a thousand years old. When you live that long, you don't get close to that many people.''

''That doesn't mean you have to see people as disposable,'' I argued, thinking of how much I feared for my mother, or any one else, to end up in the way of someone in all of this.

''I would do anything to protect my family,'' he replied quietly.

How could he be so... so... nonchalant? I trying not to judge, but to understand.

''Fight fire with fire,'' I echoed his previous statement bitterly. ''You threatened to use my mother as leverage to get to know what I am. How is that to protect your family?''

''You are part of our world. I usually make it my case to know every player on the board. And right now, that board is Mystic Falls.''

''We're all part of the same world,'' I whispered under my breath. ''I wish people could see that.'' I knew that he'd probably heard me, but he didn't reply. The discussion had come to an end, it seemed.

The restaurant was in our sights again. Passing us were people on their way home from work. Home from their normal workplaces, and home to their normal families. I had never been normal, I knew that, but at least my life hadn't been like this before. I still wasn't sure what to make of it. As it was, I was just trying to get through it with as few scraps as possible.

''Well...'' I said as we stopped at almost the same place we'd started. Elijah had his hands in his pockets, looking at me with eyes that I couldn't decipher for the life of me. ''Here we are.''

''Indeed.''

''I need to get home, so...'' It felt really awkward.

''I will leave you to it,'' he nodded.

Turning my back to him; I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before getting on my bike to pedal away.

''Evangeline?'' he called out smoothly, having me turn around.

When our eyes met, he offered me a small smile. My heart skipped a beat. Not because I was nervous, or because I was frightened or anything. No, it probably did that because it was a friendly smile; a soft smile; and, as far as I could tell; a real smile.

''Thank you.''

I hadn't really been prepared for that, so when I tried to respond, all I could come up with was a tentative smile back and then turning my back to him again.

He had disappeared when I turned around a second time. Looking around, everyone seemed to go about things as usual, not noticing his whooshing away. Why would they though? I sighed, trying to shake it off.

I still hadn't shaken it off by the time I got home.

* * *

Later that night, I hesitantly practised with my mother in the same way I had practised with Elena. I didn't tell her about the making-people-fall-asleep thing, as that would have me explain how I found it out. That was not an option, and I had no idea how to concoct a plausible lie. I sucked at lying.

I realised that it was probably good to get my mother's help not only because I could practise more, but also because it might be useful to try it with another person. Everyone was different. I didn't know if that affected me in any way, but it could.

When I was lying in bed trying to sleep, all I seemed to be able to do was stare at the ceiling above me. Elijah had been in an even more talkative mood today than seemed usual. His goodbye made me think he actually appreciated our conversation – but something in me made me question his motives. I didn't know him. If it kept going on like this, perhaps I would – but that would never happen if I always questioned him for having any ulterior motives.

God, he was just so frustrating. I never knew where I had him. I never knew what to expect. The small smile on his face today had me totally overwhelmed only in itself – not to mention the conflicting thoughts that swarmed my head about it now...

On the surface, when he wanted to, he was so polite and clever, but then he did things like smash people's heads off, or throw threats around him like he didn't have a care in the world. But obviously, he did care. About his family.

He could be absolutely terrifying. But he could smile. That was something, at least.

* * *

 **I actually created a mood board/mind-map for this story on a big piece of white cardboard that I hung on my wall... because sometimes I get lost in what I've written, what I'm currently writing, and what I plan on writing. I'm probably going to do that for other stories in the future as well... It's honestly very useful!**

 **This chapter might have Ev coming off as pacifist – which she is to an extent, but not completely. Just thought I should point that out.**


	27. Chapter 25

**Since it's been so long, I offer you a somewhat longer chapter than usual! Also, I feel like I want to give you guys some more recognition, so I'll do the reviews from the last chapter and some questions that I forgot last time.**

 **Dear author: Thank you so much for your lovely review! It made me so happy, I'm glad you like the story :)**

 **Selene088: Thank you for commenting and adding :) Glad you enjoy it!**

 **ahyeon: Haha XD Thanks for all the reviews :)**

 **Also, to HouseOfWolves12: Yeah, I had some trouble and had to repost that chapter, that might have affected notifications, I don't know... Thank you for your comment, I really want to get back into more scheduled updates, but I'll have to see how that goes :)**

 **And to the guest reviewer, I forgot to reply! The best answer I can give you is that I go by the fact that vampires cannot procreate.**

 **Finally, to everyone else not mentioned that have commented before, and to those who only read – thank you!**

 **Now, without further ado (aside from the disclaimer), enjoy.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, only my own characters and plots**

* * *

 _''I've been watching you walk  
_

 _I've been learning the way that you talk  
_

 _The_ _back of your head is at the front of my mind  
_

 _Soon I'll crack it open just to see what's inside your mind''_

\- The 1975

* * *

''You know they had me sign ownership for their house?''

''Why?'' I asked Elena while reaching for the bag of crisps on the table.

''As a safe house, so I'm the only one who can invite 'people' in,'' she explained and waved her hand, so I tossed her the bag after I was done.

''Oh, right. Yeah, that makes sense.'' Silently, I was wishing that I had sole ownership over our house. That way, not one vampire could get in if I didn't want them to. Not that I knew anyone I'd like to enter. Not even Stefan, to be honest. But I didn't know him too well yet, either.

''Have you seen any more of Elijah?'' Elena asked.

I shook my head. ''Not since the last time, no.''

''Hey, can you _un-_ invite a vampire?'' I asked as the thought popped up in my head.

''I don't think so...'' Elena said. ''Not unless you change the ownership of the place. Like we did.''

''Oh, okay.'' I reached for the bag, grabbed some crips and chewed on them absentmindedly.

''Do you think he'll keep his promise?'' Elena continued.

Shrugging, I wiped my hands on my pants and curled up on the sofa. ''What I know, he has so far.''

''Speaking of the devil...'' Elena looked almost ashamed, as if she felt like she had withheld something. ''He's coming, later.''

''He-'' I paused. ''Okay. Why?''

''To talk about tonight.''

The full moon was tonight. I could feel her nervousness, but I wasn't a mind reader.

''About that... tonight, I mean. How are you feeling?'' I asked her quietly.

Elena sighed, and shrugged, turning her gaze down to the floor. ''I don't know.''

Her nervousness increased when I mentioned it. Maybe I shouldn't have. ''I really wish this didn't have to...'' I stopped myself before I said too much. ''I mean-''

''I'm the key to breaking the curse,'' Elena interrupted. ''Klaus is here because of me. If I don't stop him, then he's gonna hurt people. It's that simple.''

''It's a massive risk, Elena.''

''I know the chance I'm taking.''

''I know,'' I sighed. ''And I understand. I just wish there was something else that we could do.''

''We're going to kill Klaus, and then this will all be over.'' Elena tried to put on a brave face and smiled, but I could tell it wasn't real.

''Elijah,'' I emphasised, ''is going to kill Klaus.''

''He'll keep his word,'' Elena said, almost completely convinced.

I bit my lip. ''He seems to be a man of... honour, I guess, but...'' I sighed. ''Elena, when we talked the other day, he made it perfectly clear that his family means everything to him.''

''Yeah?''

''So, if anything could get him to break his word, it would have something to do with them.''

''But they're lost somewhere,'' Elena insisted.

''I know... it's just something... I mean, I just picked it up.'' I sighed. ''Hey, speaking of family. How has Jenna been?''

I knew she was in the house, probably to stay close to Elena and so that she was safe, for the moment. She greeted me when I came, but then left us alone.

''As can be expected,'' Elena mumbled. ''But she's strong.''

''You all are,'' I said. ''But I guess you kind of have to be...''

Elena made a face. ''Hey, let's try it one last time,'' she changed the subject, going back to what we had been doing for almost an hour before. Her grimace turned into an encouraging smile.

''Okay,'' I agreed. I actually wasn't that tired, even. Elena reached out her hand.

''I'll try projecting?''

Placing my hand over hers, the first victory I could claim was not flinching away. I didn't flinch anymore, but that was only when practising... I guess getting rid of a lifelong habit wasn't going to be that easy.

I felt her skin underneath my fingers, tingling slightly, but I pushed her energy away from my thoughts, and realised a little too late that maybe I should have come up with something beforehand. At a loss of anything else, I thought of a funny picture I'd seen a couple of days ago, and recalled the laughter that had escaped me. For a second, I was so merged that I thought it was me myself laughing, but when I opened my eyes I saw Elena struggling to keep her giggles at bay.

I removed my hand, smiling, and after a short while Elena stopped laughing and looked at me proudly.

''You're getting so good at this, seriously.''

''Come on, it's not like it's a huge improvement,'' I said, but felt a satisfied blush creep up on my cheeks.

''I know it seems small, but it must feel huge, though?''

Biting down on my lip, I thought about it. Sure, I'd made progress, but it wasn't an enormous step forward. I could project for a short while, but I still struggled somewhat with the readings – even though that was going better, too. And that's not even mentioning the distance aspect of the whole thing; being around a happy crowd or anyone bursting out in tears nearby still affected me. I mean, I could still feel Elena's nervousness prickle all over my body.

''It's starting to feel different,'' I admitted.

Elena opened her mouth to answer, but her eyes darted to something behind me, and I guessed what came out wasn't what she originally intended to say.

''Stefan!''

''Hey,'' he walked behind the sofa and placed a hand on Elena's shoulder. ''Hi, Evangeline.''

I greeted him back. ''How are you?''

''Good, I'm good,'' he smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. ''What are you up to?''

''Just practising,'' Elena replied.

''Damon is on his way,'' Stefan informed.

Elena nodded. ''And Elijah should be here any minute.''

Stefan turned his head, tilting it a little as if he was listening to something. ''He's here.''

''Talk about timing,'' I mumbled as Elena got up to answer the door that hadn't rung.

Seconds later, she walked in with Elijah in tow. His eyes swept across the room, and lingered on me before he directed his attention to the others. Elena went to sit down in the sofa next to Stefan.

''Elijah,'' Stefan greeted, and was offered a nod in return. When Damon came sauntering in after a few seconds, he just huffed and then went to stand in a corner.

''Tonight is the full moon. We should assume that Klaus is prepared to break the curse,'' Elijah started speaking, getting right into it.

''Elena said that the sun and moon curse is fake?'' Stefan said, with a frown on his face. Yeah, that had been my reaction. ''That it's actually just a curse placed on Klaus.''

''Klaus is a vampire born of a werewolf bloodline,'' Elijah explained. ''The curse has kept his werewolf aspect from manifesting. But if he breaks it... he'll be a true hybrid.'' I shuddered.

''Then why are we letting him break the curse?'' Damon spat. ''We could kill him today. With Bonnie.'' I clenched my fists. Damon's anger was beginning to boil in me.

''Damon,'' Stefan warned him.

''No,'' Elena said determined. ''Bonnie can't use that much power without dying.''

''I'll write her a great eulogy!'' Damon exclaimed in frustration. My knuckles were turning white.

''It's not an option, Damon.''

''Alright, how do we break this curse?'' I asked, trying to lead the conversation onto another path, one that wouldn't end in me bursting out in anger in front of Elijah for no reason.

Elijah's eyes landed on me. ''Well the ritual itself is very straightforward. The ingredients, so to speak, you already know.''

''The moonstone,'' Stefan said.

''A witch will channel the power of the full moon to release the spell that's bound within the stone. After that,'' Elijah drew a breath, ''Klaus, being both werewolf and vampire, will sacrifice one of each.''

''And where do I fit into it?'' Elena asked.

''The final part of the ritual.'' We were all so quiet that Elijah's quiet voice seemed loud. Maybe it was the seriousness of it all. ''Klaus must drink the blood of the doppleganger... to the point of your death.''

I looked at Elena. She really was brave. I understood why she was willing to do it – I would have done the same, I think – but hearing her talk about what would happen saddened me.

''And that's were you come in,'' Elena responded.

Elijah pulled out an intricate bottle of some sort from a box he'd brought with him, so that we all could see. ''This is an elixir that I acquired some five hundred years ago for Katerina. It possesses mystical properties of... resuscitation.''

''So I'll be dead...''

Damon's head snapped towards Elena, and the rage spiked in me. It took me a second to realise that it was Damon, once again, and not me, feeling those things.

''And then you won't,'' Elijah concluded.

''That's your plan? A magical witch potion with no expiration date?'' Damon looked at Elena. ''You, you wanna come back to life... what about John's ring?''

''Those rings only work on humans,'' Elijah said. ''A doppleganger is a supernatural occurrence. Odds are, the ring won't work.''

''I'll take those odds over your elixir,'' Damon spat. ''What if it doesn't work, Elena?'' He looked at her almost pleading.

Elena was quiet. Then she said, with a shrug:

''I guess I'll just be dead.''

I felt my nails prod into the palm of my hands when Damon dashed out of the room. We all cared about her, about each other – but Damon had a different approach to everything. I could tell he only wanted her to be safe.

Elena and I exchanged looks. Her mouth twitched as if she was about to cry, but she managed to turn it into a sad smile. She turned her gaze to Elijah. ''Do we know if Klaus has everything he needs to do this? Does he have a werewolf?''

''Klaus has been waiting to break this curse for over a thousand years. If he doesn't already have a werewolf, my guess is, by tonight...'' Elijah paused. ''He will.''

An eerie silence settled. What Elijah said made complete sense, but this whole conversation had brought about a seriousness we hadn't had before. It was happening. It really was. Tonight.

''Stefan?'' I spoke up, after putting up with Damon's anger prickling my body longer than I wanted to. ''Maybe you should check on Damon.'' I didn't say anything about him still being angry, but Stefan understood anyway. Saying something about that would surely make Elijah suspicious.

When Stefan had disappeared outside, Elena walked over to Elijah, and grabbed the bottle of elixir with a sigh, inspecting it more closely. ''You'd think he'd understand why I'm willing to do this.''

''Why are you?'' Elijah asked.

''All of this is because of me,'' she sighed and spun the ancient bottle in her hands. ''If he isn't stopped, he'll hurt people I love. It's that simple.''

Those words sounded so much like what she had told me earlier. I looked at Elena when she was busy talking to Elijah. She looked extremely composed, despite everything.

''You know there is a possibility this elixir won't work,'' Elijah cautioned. ''I don't want to mislead you.''

''I know the chance I'm taking.''

A sudden noise rang from the hall, followed by a wave of fear and uncertainty. ''Get out!'' a female voice called angrily.

''Jenna, put the crossbow down, okay? It's me.''

When we rushed into the hall we found Jenna and Mr. Saltzman – him with his hands up, and her shakily pointing a dangerous looking crossbow at him.

''Stay away from me,'' Jenna said. Her finger trembled against the trigger.

''What's going on?'' Elena urged.

''It's me Elena, I swear,'' Mr. Saltzman pleaded. ''He let me go. Klaus let me go.''

''Prove it,'' Damon's voice rang from behind me. I glanced back, and found the whole party gathered. Elijah, too.

''Okay, uh...'' he trailed off, thinking. ''The first night you and I spent together, Jeremy walked in-''

''Okay,'' Jenna cut him off quickly, and lowered the crossbow. ''It's him.''

''Why did he let you go?'' Stefan frowned.

''He wanted me to deliver a message. The sacrifice happens tonight.''

* * *

Minutes later, everyone was gathered in the living room. Controlling the pressure from everyone's stress was making every breath heavy, but I tried my best.

''So you don't remember anything that happened?'' Stefan asked from where he was standing next to Elena.

''No,'' Mr. Saltzman – maybe I should start calling him Alaric – said. ''It's like I blacked out, and woke up three days later. Katherine was there.''

''She's under compulsion,'' Stefan explained. ''Damon snuck her some vervain, but she can't leave until Klaus tells her she can.''

''Where is Damon?'' Elena asked, and when she did, I realised that I hadn't seen him leave. I still felt him, so I just assumed he was still there.

''I saw him go upstairs,'' Jenna said. Elena got up and left to find him.

''So, what else did I do?'' Alaric asked nervously.

''Well...'' Stefan began.

I listened half-heartedly to the recount of Klaus-Alaric's actions. My focus at the moment was something else. As soon as the conversation had drifted in another direction, Elijah had started to approach me. In the corner of my eye, I saw him take a few slow steps towards me so that we were right beside each other.

''Where will you be tonight?'' Elijah asked quietly, twirling a pen between his fingers. The others were too occupied in their own conversation to take any notice, and we were standing a bit off.

''I don't know,'' I said. ''I'm not really sure what help I would be.''

''That is something you would know better than I.'' He paused for a few seconds before he spoke again. ''There can be... honour in revenge.''

I looked at him. It was like he was trying to explain his actions, again. ''This is like... the ultimate revenge, though. Killing someone.''

''You don't approve,'' he said.

''I don't know,'' I sighed. The frustration and tension emitting from everyone around me was really starting to mess with me, and my concentration. ''I don't know, I just... I'm trying to understand. Everything. I don't know. I'm not making any sense, am I?''

''You're like an open book and impossible to read at the same time,'' he stated.

''And right now?''

''A little bit of both,'' he admitted.

I wanted to get my frustration off my chest, but I couldn't tell him anything. I wanted to leave and get away from everyone's feelings, but I wouldn't do that.

My eyes stopped on his hands. He was still playing with the pen.

''Why do you do that?''

Elijah frowned. ''Do what?''

I nodded towards his hands. ''That. You're always twirling or bouncing things.''

A small smile appeared on his lips. ''I cannot answer that.'' As in, he didn't know. A tick, maybe. But probably not a nervous one.

''Maybe it's some-'' I gasped for breath when fear struck me out of nowhere. I grabbed my chest and squeezed my eyes shut. Blinking them open again, I saw a frown on Elijah's face, probably one of the first, and a worried Stefan.

''Elena,'' I breathed, and Stefan disappeared immediately. I didn't know how I could tell it was her, but somehow, I did. She was scared.

Jenna, terrified of her niece getting hurt, ran after him in human speed with Alaric right after her. I still couldn't quite stand straight.

I could faintly hear noises from the floor above. I felt my forehead crease both by my own emotions as well as someone upstairs. A heavy ache settled in my ribcage, only to suddenly burst into rage and frustration beyond any normal levels. This wasn't just one person, these were the feelings of several.

Elijah had not reacted to the commotion at all, even though I bet he could hear every whisper from up there. When I'd gotten my breathing somewhat under control, I let my eyes travel up from the floor. He was looking at me with great interest.

''What's happening up there?'' I asked him, feeling heavy and numb from whatever was going on. The anger had my blood boiling, and I felt my face getting hot. I felt like punching something. Hopefully it didn't show.

''Your heart rate increased,'' he commented, not answering my question.

''What's going on upstairs?'' I asked him again, ignoring _his_ question.

''Damon fed Elena his blood,'' he said without a hint of emotion in his voice.

''What?'' my voice came out in a strained whisper. Handling their emotions was difficult. ''But if she dies with that in her system-''

''That was his intention.''

''Why would he do that? Why...'' I breathed. ''It sounds like they're fighting?''

''They are.''

''Stefan?'' I asked. Elijah nodded.

''I should go up there,'' I mumbled to myself, beginning to stumble towards the stairs.

''Don't,'' Elijah's voice rang softly from behind me.

''Why?'' I asked, a little irritated. I thought I heard a door shut, but maybe that was just a thud from upstairs.

A sudden sharp stab in my chest had me weak in the knees, and I stumbled to grab hold of the sofa. Someone was really scared.

''Are you alright?'' Elijah moved towards me.

''Could you please tell me what they're doing?'' I winced, feeling my breathing speed up and fighting to control it.

I sat down and leaned back, resting, hoping that would make it easier to cover this up. He had already noticed something, but still.

Elijah kept his eyes on me. ''Just now, Damon pushed a piece of... lamp, perhaps? Into his brother.''

'' _What_?''

''Why are you so worried about them when you're clearly not feeling well?''

''Because,'' I took a deep breath, trying to calm down myself. My muscles had started to twitch from exhaustion and I was trembling enough for Elijah to notice. ''I'll be fine.''

I knew he knew that this had something to do with my powers. He didn't have to say it out loud. It would've been obvious to anyone. Besides, I could see it in his eyes. The more time I spent with him, the easier he was to read. Some parts of him.

''They stopped.''

Elijah could hear that, but to me it was still going on because they were all still in the same emotional states as before. Almost. It wasn't as chaotic.

I closed my eyes, resting.

''Evangeline?'' Opening my eyes again, I found his hand in front of me holding a glass of water.

''Drink,'' he said. I offered him a tired smile.

Grabbing the glass, my fingers brushed against his. That was not my intention. Not at all. My instincts had me looking at him, scared, hoping he hadn't felt anything.

Elijah stared at me strangely. ''What was that?''

 _Oh no, oh no, no, no..._

''Um,'' I gulped, starting to sweat nervously. How on earth was I supposed to cover this up? I sucked at lying. He knew I sucked at lying. I'd told him. How-

All of a sudden, Damon sauntered in and poured himself a glass of whiskey. Hadn't I just projected onto Elijah, I wouldn't be so happy to see him. Elijah was still looking at me, though. Maybe I wasn't saved. _Oh no, no, no, no_...

Damon turned and looked at us. ''What, I broke up a love fest?''

I just stared at him, while Elijah couldn't seem less impressed. I didn't care about Damon's comment, but I did care that it seemed to have gotten enough of Elijah's attention. For now, at least.

''It sounds like you won't be needing this any more.'' Elijah put the elixir back into its container. ''Feeding her vampire blood rendered it useless.''

Damon downed the whiskey in one swift move. ''We both know that elixir wouldn't have worked anyway.''

''Your problem, Damon,'' Elijah said, his voice stern. ''You talk a good game but you don't actually know anything. She'll never forgive you. And never for a vampire... is a very long time.''

He turned to me. ''Tell Elena I'll be back before nightfall. We'll proceed as planned.''

All I could muster up was a nod.

''Oh, and Evangeline?'' he turned in the doorway to look back at us.

''Yes?''

''Steer clear of the woods.''

Tilting my head, I studied his face curiously. He was frowning slightly. He hadn't let it slide.

''I was planning on it.'' I wanted to add,' thanks for your concern', but I wasn't sure if that was what it was.

When Elijah was gone, I didn't feel relieved. Not at all. No way he was letting that go.

Damon poured himself a second glass. He didn't leave.

''You look angry,'' he smirked.

''Yeah, well,'' I blurted out, the tension getting to me. ''I haven't gotten around to controlling that bit yet.'' I paused, eyeing him with a frown. ''But, now I feel sad.''

Damon pressed his lips into a tight line and glared at me. For a brief moment, I thought he would storm up to me and do something, but he didn't.

''I'm sorry,'' I apologised. ''I don't mean to.''

''Don't beat yourself up over it,'' he muttered.

''None of us want this,'' I said in a low voice.

''God!'' he exclaimed suddenly. ''Can't you do some... hocus pocus crap and make them see sense?''

Somehow people always found it easy – opening up to me. Maybe that was part of what I was. I don't think Damon would talk like this to me otherwise, because we hadn't really spent much time together.

Eyebrows raised, I gave him a quizzical look. ''Hocus pocus?''

''Yeah.''

''I can't do that, Damon. Literally.''

He made a face. ''It was worth a try.''

''Hadn't the elixir been worth a try?'' I asked.

If looks could kill...

''You might trust lover boy, but I don't,'' Damon said through gritted teeth.

''Hey,'' I threw him a glare. ''Sure, he's difficult to read, but my instincts can usually be trusted. I can tell when people lie, and when he told us about that elixir, he wasn't. He said it might not have worked, but what if it did?''

''Yeah, whatever.''

''Isn't there a spell or something then?'' I tried.

''How should I know?'' Damon trailed the edges of his glass, looking far off in his thoughts.

''I don't know – ask Bonnie?''

Damon only hummed in response, apparently disappearing in to his own mind as he poured yet another glass off whiskey. When I realised that he wasn't going to talk to me anymore, I went out to the hallway to go upstairs.

When I found them, Stefan was sitting leaned up against the wall with Elena beside him. Standing next to them was a grim looking Alaric and a flustered Jenna.

''Hey.'' I took a few steps forward, looking at Stefan's bloodstained shirt. ''How... how are you feeling?''

''It's healing,'' he said, his voice strained.

''Has Damon left?'' Alaric asked.

I shook my head. ''He was downstairs just now.''

Alaric left, Jenna in tow. She gave me a strange look when she passed me.

''Elena-''

''He had no right to do that,'' she said bitterly. ''No right.''

''I know,'' I sighed. ''I know. Look, I'm going to go and see if I can meet up with Bonnie, okay?''

''Okay,'' Elena sighed, and squeezed Stefan's hand a little harder.

''It'll be okay,'' I smiled at her sadly. ''I don't know how, but it will.''

* * *

It was a bit chilly outside, but the final rays of the afternoon sun warmed a little. Riding my bike home through the woods until I got to the bigger road, it felt like the trees were closing in on me. The darkening sky was ominous. It was happening tonight, and it scared the life out of me. I felt useless at the same time as I just had the most extreme urge to _do_ something. To help.

The only thing I'd come up with was asking Bonnie. There must be some spell, somewhere. I'd felt Elena's fear and sadness. She didn't want that kind of life.

Even if my feelings were my own again, everything inside me seemed to pull in all directions possible, stretching me, my focus, and my energy more than I almost could bear. There was so much I wanted, for so many people. I hated feeling helpless like this. Like tonight was going to happen.

No matter what we did.

* * *

 **I know it sets in the US, but I just couldn't bring myself to write chips, sorry XD**


	28. Chapter 26

**Enjoy! I'm tidying up that Spotify list, so I might put it up soon. I'll let you know!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, only my own characters and plots**

* * *

 _''I feel everything and nothing at the same time''_

-Leah Nobel

* * *

I'd called, and I'd texted, but Bonnie still hadn't answered anything. After getting back to town I'd parked my bike next to a tree and sat down, leaning back against it. The sky was slowly getting darker. In my head, I went through the places she could be at while calling her another time. This was the one thing I felt like I could help with, and I felt like I'd already screwed it up.

''Come on,'' I mumbled, calling her another time. ''Pick up.''

''Moreau!'' A voice called from somewhere. I looked around.

''Boo.''

''Jesus,'' I exclaimed, and put my hand over my chest. ''That's _not_ funny.''

''A little,'' Damon smirked. ''Come on, let's go,'' he said. ''We're going to get some witchy business done.''

''You found Bonnie?''

''I did, so get up,'' he urged impatiently. ''And they're already digging. You read fast right? There's plenty of books, so come on.''

''How did you even find me?'' I asked, scrambling to my feet and dusting some dirt off my pants.

''You're predictable,'' he shrugged. ''And louder than you think. Now, _come on_.''

* * *

Damon led me on what was, according to him, a shortcut through the woods to where we were going. I could barely see anything, the forest was that dark.

''Where are we?''

''Almost there,'' Damon said. ''Here.'' He threw me a torch. I had to pick it up from the ground, yet again realising how human I was.

''Really?'' I huffed. ''You've had that this entire time?''

He shrugged. ''I have to see what you're made of.''

I shone the light at his face.

''Hey!''

''I just had to see what you're made of.''

''Ha,'' he said. ''Come on, Joker. We're almost there.''

Damon, who obviously had perfect vision no matter what, wandered off quickly. I struggled to keep up, and bringing the bike certainly didn't make it any easier. At least he got me a torch, I guess.

''Please don't go too fast,'' I said.

''Don't worry,'' he sighed from up ahead. The light of the torch swept across the back of his head. He was somewhat considerate, at least.

''See? There it is.''

I could make out the outlines of a big house a bit further up the path. So that was the old witch house. I didn't really walk around the woods around here just for fun, so of course I'd never known about it. It was more of a small mansion, to be honest. It had that old plantation style, like all the old buildings around town.

When we got a little closer, I could, in the light from the torch, see someone standing outside the house.

''Elijah,'' I said in surprise. I didn't think I'd see him anymore tonight.

''Evangeline.''

''I'm here to help,'' I explained, without him even asking. I didn't know why.

He nodded. ''Of course.'' He didn't say anything about me barging out of the woods.

Damon looked between the two of us, shrugged, and went into the house. ''Get in here when you're done,'' he called over his shoulder.

Elijah put his hands in his pockets. ''The original plan stands, it would seem.''

''Why am I always three steps behind everyone else?'' I muttered, and pulled a stray hair away from my face, tucking it into my ponytail.

''What happened earlier this evening?''

I felt the blood drain from my face. ''What do you mean? Stefan's probably all better by now.''

Elijah eyed me, his features serious. ''You know that's not what I mean.''

''I really don't know what you're talking about,'' I lied, wiping my now sweaty hands on my legs. I hated trying to lie, especially when he wasn't buying it.

''I can hear your heartbeat,'' he sighed. ''And, you revealed to me how terrible a liar you are.''

''Really, I don't know what you mean.''

Of course he could hear my heart. It was beating so hard, even I could.

''You know,'' Elijah looked up at the dark sky above us. It was pretty clear, a few passing clouds, but I could see stars. ''Usually, when I want something – I take it.''

''So why don't you?'' I asked quietly.

His brown eyes seemed black in the darkness. ''I don't know.''

We stood in silence for what seemed like forever, but it was probably only a minute. Damon hadn't gotten impatient with me yet. I wanted to get started with the reading, but something seemed to be holding me back.

''How are you feeling?''

Elijah raised an eyebrow. ''You're asking me how _I_ am feeling?''

I shrugged. ''Yeah, well...''

Just there and then, he looked at me like I was something from another planet. Like I was completely out of my mind.

''You do realise that I am considered one of the... bad guys?'' He rolled the words off his tongue as if they were foreign to him.

''I know,'' I said. ''But you're not all bad. I can tell.''

''Is that included in your powers as well?''

''No comment.''

I looked at him, and couldn't tell anything from his face. He seemed determined, but, what did I know?

''No one can be all evil,'' I continued.

''You sound convinced.''

I shrugged. ''I like to think that way, though.''

''That might prove dangerous,'' he commented, the beginning of a smirk on his lips.

''I'm not naïve,'' I huffed. ''But... it's a decent starting point. And true, to almost a hundred percent.''

''Ah,'' Elijah said. '' _Almost_.''

''Yes, well,'' I cleared my throat. ''One can never be completely sure of anything. People thought the earth was flat once.''

'' _Sometime today, Moreau_!'' I heard Damon's voice faintly from within the house.

''Yeah, yeah,'' I said, knowing he could hear me. ''I'll... um...'' I paused. ''I'll see you, I guess?''

His eyes were piercing. I never knew brown eyes could hold such intensity. Involuntarily, a nervous smile crept onto my face before I turned my back to him and walked towards the front door of the house.

As soon as I stepped over the threshold, a gust of wind swept around me. I frowned. Not a single hair on my head had moved.

''Yeah, that's the witches,'' Damon appeared, looking around him. ''A piece of advice – don't piss them off.''

''I wouldn't dream of it,'' I mumbled, and shuddered when the same feeling came over me again. It was eerie.

''Come on, it's down here.'' He led me through the house and down to the basement.

Every step I took, I felt like I was being watched. The air felt heavy, and not because of all the dust, but something else. Something old. Something powerful.

 _''There has to be something in here to keep Elena from becoming a vampire.''_

 _''And we'll keep looking. Until the last minute.''_

Bonnie and Jeremy were sat on the floor, completely surrounded by books, talking to each other in quiet voices when I entered. Candles were everywhere, spreading a dim, yellow light throughout the room.

''Evangeline!'' Bonnie said, looking a little overwhelmed. ''Good, the more the better.''

''Which ones haven't you checked yet?'' I asked, looking at everything and realising the amount of pages to go through.

Bonnie pointed to a pile to her left, and I dug right into it. The brittle pages felt so fragile beneath my fingers, I was afraid of tearing them.

''Hey Moreau?'' Damon said. I looked up and met his gaze. ''Find something.''

Smiling softly, I nodded, and he left. We would do everything we could.

''Ev...'' Bonnie began slowly. ''There's something you should know.'' She glanced at Jeremy, who clenched his jaw when he heard the tone of her voice. Obviously, he already knew what she was about to say, and it didn't seem like something good.

''Okay...''

''Klaus made Katherine call Jenna,'' Bonnie said slowly. ''She thought it was Elena.''

An chill went down my spine.

''And he's going to use her... as the vampire in the ritual.''

''What?'' I whispered, my eyes darting to Jeremy. He was staring intently at the book in his hands, lips tightly pressed together.

I tried to make sense of what I'd just heard, but it just kept spinning round and round in my head, never really stopping and allowing me to focus.

''Is it ever going to end?'' I asked, defeated.

''It will,'' Bonnie said, her eyes glowing with determination. ''Tonight.''

* * *

We'd been going through books for over almost an hour, with no luck. Jeremy was getting irritated, Bonnie and I even more determined. But we were all frustrated. Bitterness was heavy in the air. Jeremy had found something about a resuscitative spell in one of Bonnie's ancestor's grimoires, but it wasn't really clear what it did.

Steps coming down the stairs had me looking up, seeing a familiar man come through the door. He was carrying a box. That had to be John, Elena's biological dad. I couldn't remember if I'd seen him before. Jeremy had called for his ancestor's journals, because he thought Johnathan Gilbert might've written about that spell in more detail. Apparently, Bonnie's and Jeremy's ancestors had some sort of fling, too. All this history repeating itself was making things confusing, sometimes.

John tensed up when he saw me, and his eyes bore into mine.

''Who's this?''

''Evangeline,'' Jeremy said. I raised a tentative hand in greeting. ''She's helping us.''

''You trust her?'' John asked, keeping a watchful eye on me.

''Yes,'' Bonnie answered. John looked at me one last time, before deciding that Bonnie's word was good enough.

''I brought the journals,'' he said, and placed the box on a nearby table.

''Where's Damon?'' Bonnie asked.

''Upstairs,'' John replied. ''Alaric wanted to talk to him.''

We all grabbed a journal each from the box and began skimming through the pages. The handwriting made reading slower, but at least I could manage it.

I finished mine first, and rushed to grab a second one. We had to get through them as quickly as possible.

Just as my eyes were getting tired, I came across a part that looked interesting. I had to read it twice before I was convinced that my eyes weren't playing tricks on me, and that it might be something useful.

''Hey, I think I might've found something.''

All eyes were immediately on me, expectant. I cleared my throat. ''It's about a mother. Her... um... her baby was really sick. It was dying. The witch cast a spell that would bind the woman's life force with her child.''

''And?'' Damon's voice urged. I hadn't even heard him coming. ''Skip to the save Elena part.''

''Wait,'' I mumbled as I skimmed ahead. ''Here. ''The child died... but the mother's life force flowed through her... restoring her to life.''

''We already know Elena's going to come back to life,'' Jeremy said, exasperated. ''But she'll be a vampire.''

''Hey, wait...'' I frowned as I read further. John walked up to me and grabbed the journal from my hands. ''Not if her soul remains intact,'' he said. He looked at me, daring me to speak. For some reason, I couldn't get a word out.

''Her soul, really?'' Damon spat. ''You're going to put your faith in some act of god mumbo jumbo?''

''Damon...'' I protested.

John took a few steps forward, closing the gap between Damon and himself and staring him down. ''I refuse to let Elena become the thing I've spent my life protecting her against,'' he said seriously. ''And you can call that God or mystical energy, whatever you want, but yes... I'm putting my faith in it.''

John went back to Bonnie. ''You know what you need to do?''

''Yeah,'' Bonnie said, skimming through the pages of one book she was holding. John nodded, dragged a chair to the middle of the room, and sat down.

Before placing her hands on either side of his head, Bonnie took one last look at what was written. Then she closed her eyes, and started speaking latin. I'd never heard her do anything like that before, and I watched curiously.

After her chanting for a minute or two, Damon started getting impatient.

''Come on, Bonnie, we got a hybrid to kill.''

Bonnie opened her eyes. ''It's done.''

''That's it?'' Damon asked. ''Let's go.''

Bonnie let her hands fall down to her sides, and went to leave with Damon. She stopped next to Jeremy. ''I'll be back soon.''

''Wait, what do you mean?'' he frowned. ''No, I'm coming. I need to be there, I need to make sure you guys are okay.''

Bonnie sighed. ''And who's going to make sure you're okay?''

Jeremy held his hand up, and I saw that large ring on his finger. ''I've got my own ring. Look, I'm not taking no for an answer.''

I let my eyes fall to the floor when Bonnie gave Jeremy a goodbye kiss, but looked up when I saw him collapsing, body limp.

''What did you do?'' I asked.

''It's for the best,'' Bonnie said, and I guess I had to agree. Like me, Jeremy would probably be more of a nuisance than a help.

''We'll stay with him,'' I told her, and glanced at John, who was carrying Jeremy to the chair.

When they left, the room was awkwardly silent.

''You know what that journal said,'' I stated, eyeing John worriedly.

''I do.''

''I know Elena doesn't talk about you much but-''

''Look,'' he began, cutting me off. ''We might be stuck here together right now, but that doesn't mean we have to talk.''

''I'm sorry,'' I mumbled. ''I just... I read what you signed up for.''

''Then why didn't you tell them, huh?'' he asked.

I looked at him sadly. ''I guess... it- I don't know.'' I couldn't help that I cared. Even if I didn't know him, I still cared.

Suddenly, Alaric came barging down the stairs.

''Bonnie locked me in,'' he said, like he couldn't believe it.

I frowned. ''With a spell?''

''Yeah,'' he seethed. ''I'm stuck here.''

He was angry, pacing back and forth across the room, grabbing the back of his head in frustration. I wasn't going to tell him to stop, because I knew he had to get it out of him. I don't think anyone of us wanted to just sit and wait.

''I'm stuck here, while Stefan goes off to play hero, and Jenna-''

''Wait,'' I cut him off. ''What do you mean, play hero?''

Alaric pressed his lips into a thin line. ''He's offering to take her place.''

My eyes widened. ''He...'' I felt my mouth go dry.

Alaric clenched his fists, and hit the wall in anger. I felt the emotion behind the punch echo through my body. Why did it have to be like this? Why was it always one life for another? Why?

I sat down, leaning against the brick wall and closed my eyes. I focused on trying to keep my mind shielded, and little by little, Alaric's anger left my body, leaving me with only my own emotions. Not that they were easy to handle.

Now, all we could to was try to cope with all that we were feeling, as we waited.

* * *

''We should've heard from them by now.''

The night had passed, and the morning sun shone outside. My phone had run out of batteries a couple of hours ago, but I knew my mum wouldn't be home from her shift yet. And if she was, she'd be going straight to bed. At least that was one less thing to worry about.

''I know,'' I said, and looked outside. The crisp spring weather was refreshing, but sinister. The trees were bare, the ground was was bare... it all looked grey. From where I was standing, inside the house, I knew the air outside would be much lighter and easier to breathe. The witches' presence was like carrying a constant weight on my shoulders.

When we went back down into the basement, John was busy writing something. His forehead creased, he looked somber... but focused.

If what I'd read was correct, he would die. I don't know what it was that made me keep my mouth shut before. Maybe it was the look in his eyes. Determination. He was bent on going through with it. It was like it was all he wanted. His desperate way to help. I don't know. Something in him made me stay silent.

''Did you read all this?'' Jeremy suddenly spoke up, eyes going from John to me. ''Ev?''

Noticing he had the journal in his hands, I squirmed, glancing at John. He was looking at Jeremy calmly.

''I did.''

Jeremy frowned. ''So you understand what happened to the child's mother after the baby was brought back to life?''

''She saved her daughter,'' John said. ''She found peace.''

There was so much pain in him. So much regret. I wondered if Elena knew that.

Jeremy shook his head slowly. ''John...''

John got on his feet, grabbed what he'd been writing and handed it to Jeremy. ''I need you to give this to Elena for me. And also this.'' He slid a ring off his finger. A ring like Jeremy's.

''What's going on?'' Alaric asked and looked worried.

John sighed. ''Take care of each other. Please.''

When the sound of a door opening travelled from the upper floor down to the basement, a wave of anxiety swept over me, my own and others.

''I think they're here!''

And they were. After rushing up the stairs, we found Elena unconscious on the worn sofa. Damon was on his knees next to her, gently stroking her hair.

''Is she-'' I gulped. She was dead, wasn't she? If the spell hadn't worked, she would come back a vampire.

''I don't know yet,'' Damon confessed.

''What about Jenna?'' Alaric asked, hope in his voice.

Damon turned his gaze from Elena to us, and his look said it all.

''No.''

My chest tightened, like someone was squeezing my heart. I stared blankly at the floor in front of me.

''I'm sorry Jeremy,'' Damon said regretfully.

I'd just been sitting there, in that house, idle, with no idea what was happening. And now...

Neither Alaric nor Jeremy uttered a word. When I looked at them, the vacant stares in both their eyes told me they weren't able to process it either. They weren't even feeling sad yet, not so I could feel it. They were in shock.

I suddenly felt sick, and walked slowly towards the front door and out of the house. As soon as I stepped outside, the air got lighter, and I felt a little less nauseous. I felt like crying, yet no tears would come. It was like I was completely empty.

Steps approached me from behind. When I turned my head, John was standing there, looking back into the house.

Then his eyes met mine, and... I'd never felt such peace in my entire life.

I watched as he fell to the ground.

Gasping, I put my hand over my mouth and stared at him. I crouched down, and buried my face in my hands as tears stung my eyes.

Another life. Stefan or Jenna. John for Elena. My heart ached for all of them, for everyone else, for any of it even happening at all. I hugged myself tightly, trying to contain all the pain that was seeping out my pores.

I sat there; feet on cold ground, next to John's body, and cried. Silent tears coursed steadily down my cheeks, dripping on my legs and dry grass beneath my feet.

Only when I heard Damon's cry of happiness did I pull out of it. Wiping my face, I took a deep breath to try and calm my shallow breathing. I tried not to look at John when I stumbled to my feet, and staggered back into the house.

Elena was awake when I got back inside. Sitting up, even. Like she'd only been asleep.

The atmosphere in the room was the strangest I'd ever encountered. There had been a surge of relief and happiness when Elena came to, but now it was like no one knew what they were supposed to do.

The front door creaked again, and when I looked behind me, Stefan and Bonnie were there.

''So?'' Damon pressed. ''Is he dead?''

My heart clenched when I saw the look on their faces.

 _Please._

 _Please._

 _Tell me it can't get any worse._


	29. Chapter 27

**I'm always so nervous before uploading..! Thanks to LeaValdez23 and ahyeon for your comments :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, only my own characters and plots**

* * *

 _''Guess I got caught in the middle of it_

 _Yes, I've been taught, got a little of it_

 _In my blood, in my blood''_

\- Billie Eilish

* * *

I stayed in bed the next morning, just staring at the ceiling above me, unable to get up. It was like my mind was too heavy for my legs to carry.

The sun was shining, brightening up my room through the curtains. The day was new, but I was still stuck in the events of the past night.

I remembered telling Elena about Elijah and his family. Then, that was exactly what happened. I tried telling myself that the only thing I'd done was understand his... his character; that even if I'd pushed it more, nothing would've changed. I hated thinking in what ifs, yet, that was all I could do.

I knew that I'd doubted Elijah. But part of me hadn't. Part of me would always see the good before the bad in people.

''Honey, do you have work today?'' my mother asked and knocked softly on my door.

''No,'' I mumbled.

''If you haven't woken up yet...'' The door creaked open, and I knew she poked her head in. ''Are you awake?''

''No,'' I sighed.

''Are you okay?''

''Yes.''

''You're answering in single word sentences, honey, I know you're not.''

The bed sagged when she sat down. I could see her in the corner of my eye, but kept my eyes locked on the ceiling.

''Evangeline... talk to me.''

''I'll be fine.''

Mum sighed. I could practically see her pinching the bridge of her nose. She did that when she was frustrated; something I got from her.

''Do you want me to make you some breakfast before I go?''

''No thanks.''

She sat there for a while, but when she figured she wasn't going to get through anytime soon, she got up and closed the door quietly behind her. I could hear the front door slam shut, and the car start up as she went off to work.

Then the silence kicked in again.

My mind was flooded with thoughts of old letters on worn pages, the memory of Elena and John's dead bodies, the thought of Jenna's dead body, and the moment when Stefan and Bonnie came back, telling us all about what had happened. How Klaus had offered Elijah what he wanted most. How everything had gone wrong.

The only thing that felt right was that Elena hadn't become a vampire, but even that was bittersweet. A life for a life. I supposed there always had to be some sort of balance. It made sense. But that didn't make it any easier.

It felt like I was invaded by everyone else's feelings again, but I wasn't. I just cared. With everything that had happened, I wondered if I cared too much. Was all that caring just part of carrying everyone's else's feelings whenever they flooded? I couldn't separate which part of me was which. I mean, which part of me was _me_?

My mind just wouldn't stop. It felt as if everything had happened for nothing. Klaus wasn't dead. Klaus wasn't dead, because he'd offered Elijah his family.

I never liked the idea of killing. I hadn't from the start, but I knew that sometimes there was just no other option. I guess... sometimes you just had to become a villain – a better villain – to defeat one. No matter how much it hurt, or how wrong it felt.

When I thought of all the horrible things Klaus had done, the idea of killing him still didn't feel right. That feeling had to have something to do with my blasted compassion. There was so much of it in me. By now, my greatest bet was that all that had to do with what I was. It had to. Because, even at times like this, when my mind was fighting it – it was almost impossible to overcome. No matter how bad someone was, my heart told me that there had to be something good in there.

Elijah had been proof of that. Somehow, at least. It was strange. I mean, I'd seen him decapitate a man with his bare hands. But, as soon as we started talking... I learned things about him. Despite how closed off he had been, his love for his family had shone through clearly. He wasn't all bad. Despite his actions.

Did that make me overlook everything bad? No. But it was as if my brain was fighting with everything else in my body. With my heart. Like, my mind was me, and my heart was the supernatural part of me. My mind was telling me that it was okay to kill Klaus, and that Elijah wasn't good company. My heart was telling me to think of the good in everyone, and to work hard to bring it out of them.

I sighed. I needed a name to put on it. I needed one. But if even Elijah, who I knew was highly intelligent and had lived for a thousand years, couldn't put the pieces together and label me, then what chance did I have?

I could hear my phone vibrate on my desk. That would be mum texting me to make sure to eat something. I didn't check it.

How was I supposed to refuel from this? How were any of us? It had been like... like this massive build up that just ended in nothing. Nothing but heartbreak and sorrow.

The phone vibrated again; only this time, it didn't stop. I didn't want to pick up, but eventually, I did it anyway.

''Hello?''

''It's Elena.''

Her voice was almost a whisper. She sounded tired.

I wanted to ask her how she was, but somehow, it felt wrong. I could imagine she was in somewhat the same state as I... but probably worse.

''You shouldn't have to deal with this.''

''Nonsense,'' I said softly. ''Of course I'll be there.''

I heard her breathe shakily through the phone.

''I'll see you there, okay?''

''Okay...''

After hanging up, I managed to get myself sitting up. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't wallow forever. And right now, I needed to find something black to wear.

* * *

The weather had been on our side. It was quite beautiful outside, actually. The trees had started blossoming. Spring was well on its way. It was kind of poetic, I suppose... rebirth. But it felt far from that. And it should feel that way, no matter how bad it hurt. Right now, it _should_ be okay to feel stuck, even though it didn't.

I stood next to Bonnie, watching as Elena placed roses on the ground. I could tell she was fighting to hold back tears, and when she walked to an already standing stone, the tears trickling down her cheeks fell down mine as well. The crisp spring air was heavy with sorrow.

Everything about the small ceremony was as it should be, but that didn't make it any easier. I stared at the ground, and all I could see was Jenna's vibrant red hair, how much she meant to her family, and to Alaric.

I didn't know John in the same way. I knew Elena had been angry with him. That she hadn't trusted him. In the end, he gave his life for her.

I drew a shaky breath, and tried to keep the tears at bay. I tried to keep myself together, for once. People should be sad at funerals, but... I kind of felt like I didn't have the right to be as sad as I was right now – because much of what I felt weren't my own emotions. It just didn't feel right, and I didn't want to unleash that on everyone else. I had to keep it together.

* * *

After the goodbye, everyone went back to their own places. That was probably for the best. I thought that, maybe, when I stepped through my front door, some of the tension would release – but it didn't. I still felt guilty for being so invasive.

When I got home, I was met by the familiar sight of my mother sitting in the kitchen with her coffee. She was scrolling on her phone, but looked up when she heard me.

''Are you feeling any better?''

I shrugged, pulling out one of the chairs and sitting down with a sigh.

''Why are you so dressed up?''

''I was out,'' I said. ''With friends.''

''That's good,'' she said. ''So, are you going to tell me?''

''I'd rather not,'' I said with a strained smile. ''What's for dinner?''

''Was thinking spag bol,'' she replied, keeping her eyes on me. ''Are you planning on bringing Elijah over sometime again?''

I winced when she said his name. What I wanted was just a moment of peace, not worrying about everything. Not thinking about everything.

''I don't think so,'' I said.

''Okay,'' she looked at me with sad eyes. ''I won't ask anymore.''

I went up the stairs and into my room to change out of the clothes I was wearing. When I had sweatpants and a t shirt on, I lay down on the bed again. Right back where I'd started this day. In my bed, thinking. Mind battling heart.

I had no clue where all this was going, or what was going to happen next. What Klaus would do. If Elijah would come back. Maybe it was dumb to think Elijah would still hang around. Of course, I didn't expect him to, or _particularly_ wanted him to, but somehow all of that felt... unfinished.

Before, the not knowing was because everything was new. I supposed it still would be, but now I had more insight into what could happen. For all we knew, all hell could break loose.

* * *

A couple of days later, I found myself on a blanket in the town square with Elena, Caroline, and Jeremy. The town was putting on _Gone With the Wind_ on a big screen someone had brought in. The film was already running, but I honestly didn't think anyone was giving it too much attention. Not even the girls walking around looking like they'd stepped straight out of the screen.

''Are we really doing this?'' Jeremy asked with a sigh.

''Yes, we are really doing this,'' Caroline said firmly. ''We are going to take a page from Scarlett. We made it through the war.''

Looking at all the Scarlett's around me, I wondered why they'd dressed up. I mean, there were an abundance of them.

''I know you guys went through hell, and my mum knows I am a vampire, so basically it's like Atlanta has burned,'' Caroline went on. ''And yet, in spite of everything, we persevere.'' Yeah, apparently Matt wasn't an oblivious human anymore, and Sheriff Forbes oversaw Mystic Falls' vampire count. Or something like that.

''All right.'' Jeremy sat down. ''What are we eating?''

''Something good, I hope,'' I said. ''I'm starving.''

''Of course,'' Caroline chirped, and opened the baskets she'd brought with her. ''Behold.''

We'd just dug into the food Caroline had brought when Stefan appeared next to us, a grave look on his face.

''Hey,'' he said.

''Hey!'' Elena smiled. ''Look who couldn't resist an epic romance.''

''Will you come take a walk with me?''

I watched the two retreat. I wasn't sure what it was about, but Stefan seemed more serious than usual. Caroline started talking to me, which brought my attention back to where it probably should be.

Elena didn't come back, but Caroline, Jeremy and I had a good time anyways. It actually felt quite normal for a while. The conversations didn't even stray into supernatural things, as they so often tended to do. Bonnie came after a while, and just when she joined us, Jeremy's phone went off.

I was too absorbed in the film right then to pay any attention, but when Jeremy raised his voice I couldn't help but hear.

''You keep doing this,'' he snapped. ''You left me behind before, and guess what? Jenna still died. Now I'm going to find my sister. You go ahead and try to stop me.'' He jumped to his feet and walked off in long strides.

Bonnie gaped at him, and I looked back and forth at the two of them in confusion.

''He's still mad?'' I asked her. He'd been a little distant when she showed up, and I guess he didn't take to kindly to Bonnie using her magic against him. He had been just as aggravated as the rest of us, just sitting and waiting through the night for any news.

''Yeah,'' she said, and looked away. ''I just wish he would understand.''

''Look,'' I began. ''He had to sit and do nothing while his sister and aunt... you know. I agree that he shouldn't have been anywhere near the ritual, but it's still fresh. He'll come around.''

''Yeah,'' Caroline nodded in agreement. ''He will.''

Bonnie sighed. ''Maybe.''

''How do you guys feel about senior year?'' I asked to change the topic. ''It's only a summer away.''

The smile that appeared on Caroline's face at the mention of senior was one of pure joy and excitement. ''It's going to be the best year,'' she beamed. ''It's going to be _our_ year.''

Bonnie shrugged. ''I guess-''

''Hey!'' Caroline cut her off. ''I will have none of that.''

Our conversation drifted from there. Caroline was going on about all the events and parties that were going down, and I almost felt like I was reliving my senior year. I'd been excited about it too. Back then, it had felt like the final step before becoming an adult, almost. The stepping stone to the rest of the world. Now that I was a couple of years older, I realised that I still didn't quite feel like the world had opened up to me. At least, not in the way I imagined when I was eighteen.

We were chatting about all sorts of things, and everything was starting to feel a little less tense and a little more normal. That was, until I could feel something nagging at the back of my head, prickling, making the hairs on my neck stand up.

''Guys, I'll be right back,'' I said, standing up. I could vaguely hear Caroline ask me something, but I was so focused on trying to find the source of it to hear her clearly.

A jab in my chest confirmed my suspicions. Someone was slowly getting more and more terrified. I looked around the square, but everyone looked normal.

I walked a bit further away from the centre of the square, and that was when I saw it. He had her pressed up against a post. Fear rolled off of her in waves, and I ran to them as quick as I humanly could.

''Damon, you don't have to do this. Please stop. You're hurting me!''

Without a second thought, I pressed my hand to his bare neck and wished for him to sleep.

When he fell down at my feet, I shuddered.

''E-Ev?'' Elena stuttered in surprise.

''I felt your fear,'' I said, slightly out of breath. ''Are you okay?''

She looked from me to Damon. ''Y-yeah. He's sleeping?''

I nodded. ''I hoped it would work...''

''We need to get him home,'' Elena said. ''Could you get my car? It's parked just over there, on the other side of the square.''

I grabbed the keys from her hands, rushed to the side of the street she'd pointed at, and found her dark SUV.

As soon as I'd gotten the car back to where Elena had stayed with Damon's sleeping body, I jumped out and together we dragged him into the car. I don't know how we managed that, but at least he wasn't awake to feel any of it.

I looked at Damon's face. His forehead was shining with sweat.

''He's sick,'' Elena explained.

''A vampire sick?'' I frowned. ''I thought they couldn't get sick?''

''It's a werewolf bite,'' Elena replied quietly. ''It's deadly to them.''

''Is he-'' I stopped myself, remembering. ''Like Rose?''

''Yeah.''

''I should come with you,'' I glanced worriedly at him, recalling the symptoms of that bite. If hallucinations had him thinking Elena was... a blood bag, or something, then she shouldn't be alone with him. And I couldn't tell when he would wake up.

''I can handle it,'' she said.

''No,'' I shook my head. ''Look, he's going to be asleep for a while. I'll help you bring him home, and make sure he's not crazy when he wakes up.''

She sighed. ''I guess you're right. Come on, then.''

The drive to the Salvatore house felt like it took forever, even though I was going slightly above the speed limit. Elena was in the back, cradling Damon's head, and keeping an eye on him in case he started showing signs of waking up.

''Almost there,'' I mumbled to myself, gripping the wheel tightly. My phone vibrated in my pocket, that had to be the third or fourth missed call by now.

As soon as I'd pulled up in front of the house and stopped the car I got out of the driver's seat. Together with Elena, I half carried, half dragged, Damon into the house. I don't know how we managed it, but somehow we got him into his bed.

''He's still sleeping, right?''

Elena, who was sitting by his side, nodded.

''Good.''

I went into the ensuite bathroom, and grabbed a towel. I kept it under the tap for a few seconds, before going back to the bed. I handed it to Elena.

''Thank you,'' she mumbled, looking down at her hands clutching the wet towel like she didn't know what to do with it.

''I don't know what to say,'' I sighed, and sat down next to her.

''He knew he was going to die,'' she said, and used the towel to dab Damon's forehead. ''And I didn't know.''

''I don't think he wanted to hurt you,'' I said quietly. ''He cares about you, you know.''

''I know. I just...'' She sighed.

She was staring at her hands again, clasped on her lap. When I glanced at Damon's face, he still looked sound asleep.

''He's already had hallucinations,'' she continued. ''After that...''

My heart dropped when I recalled what had happened with Rose. As soon as her hallucinations had subsided, she got so much worse. ''I remember.''

''If he wakes up-'' I began, but Elena shook her head. She could hear where I was going.

''No, I have to talk to him.''

''Of course,'' I said.

People were never more vulnerable than when they were asleep. The mask that Damon usually put on was nowhere to be seen on his unconscious face. He looked more relaxed than I'd ever seen him.

''I'll go when he wakes up,'' I told Elena, taking a quick look at my phone. It had been awhile.

She pulled her hair over her shoulder, and that's when I saw the bloody mess on her neck. ''Is it still bleeding?'' I asked.

''I don't think so,'' she said. ''It's fine.''

''Let me at least clean it up,'' I insisted. I went to the bathroom again and came back with more towels. It was the best I could find; apparently vampires don't keep any antiseptic.

She hissed in pain when I began to wipe off the blood from her neck, but I tried to be as gentle as I could. The two small puncture wounds started bleeding a little when I'd gotten her neck clean again. I handed her one of the clean towels, folded together. ''Here, keep it pressed.''

''Thank you, Ev,'' Elena said quietly and looked into my eyes. ''Really.''

I smiled softly at her. ''No worries.''

Damon groaned, and my eyes immediately darted to his face. His eyelids were twitching more than before.

''Is he...?''

''I think so,'' I said, trying to prepare myself for whatever stage he was on. If he still had hallucinations, then I had to be ready.

''Elena?'' Damon croaked as his eyes fluttered open.

''I'm here,'' she said, and scooted up on the bed so that he could see her.

''I'm sorry,'' he said and coughed.

Standing up, I kept my eyes on them. Elena met my gaze and nodded.

''Call if you need anything, okay?'' I whispered. She nodded again, and I sneaked out of the room. I stayed just outside for a couple of more minutes, just to make sure he was himself again. When I didn't hear anything strange, I went downstairs.

I always tried to see the best in everyone. But somehow, I'd never been one to have a positive outlook when it came to being in bad situations. And this was a bad situation.

I don't know about the others, but I was still not really able to process everything. And to think, Damon had kept this to himself because of everything that was going on. Did Elena know exactly how much he cared about her?

Grabbing my phone, I sent a quick text to both Caroline and Bonnie. I had seven missed calls from the both of them now. Throwing a glance at the time, I figured I should probably stay until... Shaking my head, I tried to keep the bad thoughts out. I didn't want to think about it.

I felt kind of out of place in this house when I was alone – but that would probably be the case no matter what house I was in that wasn't my own home. But this was still different. This was were the one thing I really didn't want to happen, happened. Because Elijah had been so interested in finding my powers, it made no sense to me that he would just drop it. Not that I felt important in any way, but it was just odd.

When the front door suddenly opened, every muscle in my body tensed up, because I had no idea who it was. This house didn't feel strange being in just because of the whole Elijah incident, but also because I didn't feel safe. Since Elena had died, it could be anyone entering, right? She was listed as the owner, but when she died, wouldn't that have glitched the invitation-thing?

Heels clicked against the wooden floor, and then Elena passed me down the hall towards the stairs. Her dark eyes darted to me, but she didn't stop.

''Don't mind me,'' she said in a bored tone and walked up the stairs.

Because I hadn't met Katherine but one or two times, it took a while before I realised what had just happened. As soon as my mind had somewhat processed it, I rushed up the stairs, and when I came into Damon's bedroom I found him sitting up. His eyes were present, tired and slightly confused, but clear, and he had something dark on the side of his mouth.

''What just happened?'' I asked, staring at the both of them and probably looking perplexed as ever.

Elena picked up a small glass phial from the floor, and looked at it with a frown on her face.

''There's a cure.''

I walked over to her and took a closer look at the phial. ''Whose blood?'' I asked slowly.

''Stefan got this from Klaus,'' Elena said. ''Katherine said he exchanged it for himself.''

''Stefan... He-'' I stopped, struggling to get any words out, because I couldn't quite understand what I was hearing, exactly.

Elena stared at the tiny glass bottle she was squeezing in her hand. I turned my head towards the bed, and met Damon's blue eyes.

''Are you okay?''

He nodded, looking dogged.

''I honestly...'' I stopped again. ''I don't understand. What are we gonna do?''

The knuckles on Elena's hand were turning white, and her dark eyes seemed even darker than usual. She looked up at me, her eyes, filled with emotion, boring into mine and said:

''We get him back.''

* * *

 **So far, the storyline has been pretty consistent in following canon. I do have some special ideas planned, so it's not like the OC is just ''tagging along'' forever. I'm excited for when it gets there!**


	30. Chapter 28

**I'm late, but here it is! Life enjoys slamming the inspiration out of me, it seems. I had so much trouble writing this chapter, I don't know why... :/**

 **LeaValdez23: I'm glad you're enjoying it!**

 **ahyeon: I've actually already got the first Klaus (in his real body) encounter written XD**

 **The Battling Bard: Don't worry! There won't be too many Elijah-less chapters (I won't disclose the exact amount, but definitely not infinite)!**

 **Hackslash24x7: Thanks, cheers ;)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, only my own characters and plots**

* * *

 _''One ought to hold on to one's heart; for if one lets it go, one soon loses control of the head too''  
_

 _-_ Friedrich Nietzsche

* * *

The sun shone brightly on my face as I rode my bike towards the Grill. Thank god we were allowed to wear shorts to work, because the heat had been almost unbearable at the start of summer.

Several weeks had passed since the sacrifice. Stefan was gone, gone with Klaus, and it was more than noticeable. Elena was almost frantic in her hopes of finding him, grasping for every possible straw she could reach. I didn't blame her.

The first half of this year had been a year of sacrifices. Elena. John. And, then, Stefan. Offering himself to Klaus so Damon could live, and we hadn't seen a glimpse of him since.

Elena was annoyed with Damon, because she felt like he didn't take her seriously. Everything she brought to him, every clue she'd found, he shot down.

Whenever I was with her, I could feel her frustration building up more and more. Of course I didn't blame her. Her boyfriend, whom she loved, was gone. And he hadn't tried to contact her. If I was in her position, I'd probably worry too. We were kind of the same like that, she and I. We were stubborn.

* * *

I locked my bike outside the restaurant, and soaked in the blue sky and fresh air the best I could before going in. There were some tables and chairs placed outside, by the street, and the doors were open, but if most of my time the next couple of hours would be spent indoors I wanted to cherish it.

After grabbing an apron and a notepad, I stuck a pen into my ponytail. I'd forgotten who was working today, and smiled when I saw Matt unpacking napkins by the counter.

''Hey Matt,'' I greeted.

He looked back over his shoulder. ''Oh, hey!''

''Is Sarah here?'' I asked, and leaned a little to the side to see if she was in the kitchen.

''No, Jeremy was supposed to take her shift today,'' Matt said. ''But he's not here yet.''

''He's been late a lot,'' I frowned. ''Do you know if he's okay?''

''Aren't we all a little messed up by now?'' Matt said, laughing humourlessly.

Matt knew of my involvement by now. He'd overheard one of my conversations with Elena and Caroline a couple of weeks ago. Considering the content of that conversation, it didn't take much to put two and two together.

''At this rate, Roberta's going to fire him,'' I pointed out. Jeremy had gotten a job at the Grill at the start of summer break, but he hadn't handled it very well lately.

''I know.''

I hummed. ''Do you need help?''

''Sure,'' Matt said. The place was kind of empty so far, and everyone that was there to serve Matt had already taken care of. I dug into the pile of napkins Matt had created and started placing them on tables.

After going back and forth a few times, the pile was gone, and Matt was busy brewing some coffee. I grabbed the leftover plastic to put in the bin, when I saw Matt do something strange.

''Hey,'' I tapped his shoulder with my closed fist. ''What are you doing?''

Matt hushed me, and looked around to see if anyone was paying us any attention. ''It's vervain,'' he whispered.

''Your putting it in the coffee?''

He nodded. ''Sheriff's orders.''

''That's actually a good idea,'' I said. ''I mean, it _is_ a good idea.''

''Feel like doing it when I'm not working?'' Matt suggested.

I shrugged. ''Sure. Do you keep it here or...?''

''Nah, someone would probably find it,'' he said, and coughed, '' _Sarah_. I mean, it's only been you, me, and Jer for a while so she's the only one who doesn't know anything.''

''So where do I...'' I shut my mouth when he put a small bag in my hands.

''You can take this, I'll get some more later.''

''Okay, sure.''

All of a sudden, Jeremy sauntered into the restaurant. He had been through a lot. More than most of us, really. The same night Damon went somewhat crazy from the werewolf bite, he'd been behind Damon, but in front of Sheriff Forbes' gun. I didn't hear about it until the day after, and then Bonnie had already brought him back to life. _Brought him back to life._ It still felt weird thinking about that; and, I had no idea what was going on inside Jeremy's head. Maybe he was struggling to deal with it. Maybe I should-

''Uh oh,'' Matt brought me out of my mental babbling. ''This is not good.''

Matt and I watched the scene unfold in front of us. Roberta was not in a good mood to begin with, so it was not pretty. Jeremy seemed pretty out of it through the whole conversation, though, so I wasn't sure whether or not he was actually listening to her. But, he seemed to have gotten the gist of it, as he turned on his heel and went straight out the way he came.

Roberta was mumbling things to herself on her way back into her office, probably things about kids these days. On her bad days, she was kind of like that. But she was a fair employer.

''That was...'' Matt shook his head.

I frowned at the door through which Jeremy had just exited. ''I just hope he's okay.''

* * *

It was like time was standing still. Even though the sun was out and it was summer break, the Grill was quiet and business slow.

He had a sour look on his face. ''Can we switch sections?''

''Why?'' I asked.

''Caroline and Tyler just sat in mine.''

''Oh.'' It took me a second to realise that he didn't want to see Caroline with Tyler. He'd been a little bitter about that for a long time now, and I didn't want him to get more stressed out or angry about it than he already was. ''Yeah, sure.''

''Thanks,'' he muttered.

Matt had the tables outside, in front of the Grill. When I came out, Caroline and Tyler where engaged in an intense conversation.

''Hey guys!'' I greeted them with a smile.

Caroline saw me and rolled her eyes. ''Did Matt make you switch sections?''

''I think he thinks you're dating,'' I said. ''So yeah.''

Tyler shot Caroline a meaningful look. ''So does my mother.''

''What?'' Caroline's eyes grew wide.

''We're together all the time, it's not a leap,'' Tyler shrugged.

''That's crazy,'' Caroline said. ''That's crazy, right?'' she turned to me.

''If you say so,'' I shrugged. ''Do you guys want something?''

Caroline ordered an ice tea under her breath, and I was pretty sure she was somewhere far off in her thoughts. I wondered if vampires could actually enjoy normal food, I mean I'd seen them eat. But did it taste anything? I took Tyler's order as well, and left them alone, going back into the restaurant, grabbing a tray to pick up dishes on the way, and contemplating vampires and human food. I couldn't believe I'd never asked anyone that before.

In the corner of my eye, I noticed that someone had occupied one of my tables by the wall. At first, my heart jumped when I saw a dark clad torso, and a dark set of hair, but then I realised that it wasn't who I thought it was. I really wish my mind wouldn't play tricks on me like that. Why was I even thinking of him sitting there? The plate clanged against the tray when I, a little to forcefully, put it on top of another one.

Maybe Matt was right. Maybe we all were a little messed up. I thought I'd put Elijah out of my mind by now, but I guess he'd made a bigger impact than I thought he would. He wasn't a man easy to forget. Every angsty thought about that horrible night somehow always led back to the fact that he'd shattered everything everyone worked for. A bitter but caring part of me wondered if he'd gotten what he wanted – if he'd gotten his siblings back.

''Hey Ev?'' Matt asked when I brought him the dirty dishes. ''Are you going to Elena's party tonight?''

''Yeah,'' I said. ''Because I know there won't be any underaged drinking going on.''

Matt smiled at me, his eyes twinkling. ''Don't you think it's weird being human in all of this?'' he asked.

Right. Here's the thing. Matt knew I knew about everything, but he didn't know about me. That had been my secret to tell, in everyone's opinion, and I hadn't told it. Sure, I was human, but when Matt said human he meant _normal_. Which I wasn't. And I felt bad keeping it from him, but somehow, I wasn't really at the point where I could or wanted to tell everyone involved my secrets yet. Especially when there, apparently, were powerful things out there that wanted to know.

''I guess,'' I said quietly. ''Come on, let's get all this stuff done so we can get out of here.''

* * *

The Salvatore house was packed when I got there. At least this was one of those scenes when I was overloaded by happiness and euphoria rather than fear and anguish. After weeks of trying to expose myself, it was getting easier to control this side of the spectrum. The sad part, not so much improvement. I was happy that I hadn't had to be exposed to those kinds of emotions in a while. Both for my sake and other's.

The music was so loud I found myself hoping everyone was wearing earplugs, and I wasn't even in there yet. I found Alaric sitting outside the house, with a look on his face like he'd rather be anywhere else but there.

''Hi,'' I said, and joined him on the balustrade.

''Evangeline,'' he said. ''Hey.''

''Enjoying the party?'' I asked with a laugh.

He hid his face in his hands and groaned. ''I am every parent's worst nightmare. I am the chaperone teacher from hell.''

''I feel you,'' I said. ''But I'm here for Elena.'' I thought about the gift I'd left in the car. It wasn't much, but I always tried to be considerate when it came to gifts. I _tried_ to pick thoughtful ones.

''I love high school parties,'' Damon suddenly appeared, startling me a little. ''Moreau, doesn't this go against your goody-two-shoes morality?''

''It's Elena's birthday,'' I said, ignoring his comment.

''Speaking of the devil,'' Damon sang. ''Hello birthday girl!''

Elena came out, looking anything but happy. ''Drink,'' she demanded, and grabbed a glass of whiskey from Damon.

''What's wrong?'' I asked, pretending to not notice her drinking.

''Jeremy's smoking again,'' she muttered.

I knew Jeremy had done stuff like that after their parents died. It wasn't a big secret, especially not in a small town like this. Good or bad, people talked. But that was what, two years ago now? If he'd gotten back into it, something had to be wrong. He'd lost his place at the Grill, too. Maybe something was off between him and Bonnie. I knew they were together, but Bonnie was spending the whole summer with her dad's family.

''Is his stash any good?''

''Damon!'' I exclaimed. Klaus' blood might've cured his werewolf bite, but he came back his same brash self.

''You're an ass,'' Elena glared at him, before turning to Alaric. ''Talk to him, please. He looks up to you.''

I followed her when the stormed off, deciding that drunk and angry probably wasn't the best combination.

''Hey, Elena!''

I don't think she could hear me, and she was dead set on the stairs so I followed her to the top floor. The music was almost as loud up here as downstairs. Couldn't escape it anywhere, it seemed.

''You're not in a good mood,'' I noted, when she stopped, leaning against the wall with a sigh.

''You can feel that?'' she asked sourly.

''No,'' I said. ''I can tell, because I'm your friend.''

She sighed and hid her face in her hands. ''I'm sorry.''

''Don't worry about it.''

''None of this...'' she stopped, sinking down against the wall. ''None of this seems important.''

I walked up to her and joined her on the floor. ''I get it.''

''I'm not going to give up on him,'' she said quietly. ''I'm not. I _can't._ ''

''You love him, Elena,'' I said. ''I'd be surprised if you could. But, you know, sometimes it's okay to take a few hours for yourself.''

''All I want is to find him.''

''I know,'' I murmured. ''But I just thought you should hear that.''

''I need to talk to Damon,'' she said suddenly. ''I'll see you later.''

She pulled her dress down as she got up, and walked down the hall with determined steps.

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. Where on earth was all of this going to take us?

* * *

A little while later, I was still sitting in the same spot when I heard someone call my name.

''Ev!'' Elena appeared through a door further down the hall. ''You're still here.''

I got on my feet. ''Yeah, well, parties aren't really my thing.'' My attempt to avoid the mass of dancing, drunk students downstairs resulted in me staying where she'd left me, playing on my phone.

''You need to see this.''

When I entered Damon's room, Elena grabbed my arm and pulled me towards a closet.

''What do you make of this?'' she asked.

The door was filled with newspaper cuttings, placed on a map of the whole country. Someone had placed post-its on some of them.

''Klaus,'' I said, reading Damon's handwriting. ''Damon's been tracking him?''

''Without me,'' Elena said bitterly. '' _The whole summer_! I went to him with leads, and thoughts, and he just...''

My eyes stopped on the newspaper clips marked with Stefan's name. Dead bodies found. Mutilated bodies found.

Elena really loved Stefan. So much that she couldn't see what was right in front of her. At least, if Damon was right about this. If he was, then...

''Elena...'' I began, not knowing what to say or do.

'' _What are you doing here_?'' Damon's voice rang from behind me.

''Why didn't you tell me?'' Elena blurted. ''Why did you keep it a secret?''

''Can we not do this right now? I'm having a really bad night.'' I heard them speak behind me, but my eyes were still scanning all the news clippings and notes.

''All summer,'' Elena said. ''Every single time I came to you with a lead, you made me feel like an idiot for having hope.''

''You were an idiot,'' he spluttered. We both were.''

''Tell me what you know, Damon,'' Elena demanded.

''Elena...'' I tried again, turning around. Sure, Damon got his points across, but he wasn't known to be gentle about it.

Damon's eyes went to me. ''You get it, right? You're not blinded by the past Stefan like this one?''

I nodded weakly. I didn't want to believe it myself, but Damon wouldn't lie about this.

''See, Elena?'' Damon said through gritted teeth. ''Even Evangeline can make it out, just by looking at that door.'' I don't think he meant it as an insult, so I decided not to take it as one.

''What's he talking about, Ev?''

''You've been there?'' I asked Damon, looking at one of the clips that mentioned two dead women.

''Yeah,'' he said, his blue eyes piercing into mine. I knew what he meant.

''We're supposed to be in this together. Why didn't you tell me that you've been tracking Klaus' victims?''

''Elena,'' I paused. ''Damon...''

'' _Because they're not Klaus' victims, Elena, they're Stefan's_!''

A chill ran down my spine. It was one thing realising it, and another one completely to hear it admitted out loud.

''What?'' Elena whispered.

''He's left a trail of body parts up and down the eastern seaboard,'' Damon said through gritted teeth.

''No,'' Elena's shook her head. ''You're wrong.''

''I've seen it happen before. He's flipped the switch. Full-blown ripper.''

''Stop it, Damon,'' Elena's voice trembled.

''No, you stop, Elena!'' Damon burst out angrily. ''Stop looking for him. Stop waiting for him to come home. Just stop! Stefan is gone and he's not coming back.'' He paused. ''Not in your lifetime.''

Lips pressed into a tight line, he looked at Elena one last time, storms in his eyes, before leaving.

Elena had slowly, but surely, started to fill up with sadness. It was seeping out of her and in to my pores, but it was a dull sadness. Easier to handle than complete anguish.

I could almost feel her tears start to fall before I could see them. Hesitating, still a bit put off by touching people, I placed my hand on her dress-covered back.

''I don't want to believe it,'' she whispered through the tears.

''I don't know what to say,'' I mumbled.

''He still cares,'' Elena said. ''He has to.''

''Of course he does,'' I said. ''Feelings can't just go away, there's... there's no way. You can't shut out love but keep anger.''

''He can't be gone,'' she cried and hugged me. I was careful with my hands, but even if I did come in contact with her skin I was much better at handling it now.

''Damon kept this from you so you wouldn't have to see Stefan's bad side,'' I said, and at the same time wondering how the nice guy I somewhat knew could possibly have done things like that. ''You know that, right?''

''He shouldn't have,'' Elena mumbled.

''Maybe not,'' I agreed. ''But you're in on it now. We can still find him.''

''You shouldn't have to get involved in this too,'' Elena sniffled as she let go of me to wipe her eyes.

''You're my friends, Elena,'' I said seriously, hoping she'd realise by some time that I cared enough for her to be kind of stuck with me. ''I'll help you. However I can.''

She offered me a small, bitter, smile. ''I just wanna go home right now.''

''I can take you,'' I offered. ''I got the car for once.''

* * *

The ride back to Elena's was pretty quiet. I was stuck in my mind, thinking about feelings. _Humanity_ , as everyone called them.

We didn't know if Stefan had turned his switch off or not. I didn't know how it worked, and to my knowledge I hadn't run into any vampire that had 'turned it off', but my guess was they could be just as bad with it off as with it on.

Somehow, I was struggling to wrap my mind around the switch as either black or white, on or off. Emotions could be too strong for that to be possible, right? You don't just 'turn off' feelings that powerful for more than a little while. They had to be there, still. Even with everything I could do, I don't think I had the powers to manipulate my own feelings... other than opening up to other's emotions on purpose, I suppose.

''Hey, wait,'' I said as Elena moved her hand to open the door when I'd parked outside her house. I leaned over and grabbed the gift from the backseat.

''Here.'' I handed it to her. ''Maybe it hasn't been the best one, but... Happy birthday.''

''Thanks, Ev...''

''Keep your head up,'' I said, mustering up what I hoped looked like an encouraging smile. ''I'll see you, alright?'' She nodded, and got out of the car.

The absent look in her eyes stuck in my mind almost all the way home. I was kind of worried how what had happened tonight was going to affect her. Granted, I didn't know what it was like to love someone like she loved Stefan – but love was the same nonetheless, right? And, you couldn't just snap your finger to make it go away... so of course I didn't blame her for having hope. She should have.

I made a mental note to talk to either Damon or Caroline about this whole switch thing. _If_ Stefan had turned his off, and if we ever found him, there had to be some way to get him back... because, with everything I knew about emotions, I just couldn't believe it.

You don't just turn off love.

* * *

 **Okay. Like I said, for some reason this chapter was slow in the making. It seems filler-ish, I suppose; but, as I've said too many times before, and as a certain idealistic outlaw would say – I have a plan (thumbs up to those who get that reference). And I have my endgames – but I won't divulge that information just yet...**

 **(Also, I'm planning on linking the playlist when I post the next chapter).**

 **Let me know how you liked the chapter :)**


	31. Chapter 29

_**Paris, la France, le monde... je suis vraiment désolée. C'est tragique. Je suis devastée.**_

* * *

 **LeaValdez23: Nice :)**

 **ahyeon: Thank you!**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, only my own characters and plots**

* * *

 _''I used to dream about escaping my ordinary life, but my life was never ordinary.''_

\- Ransom Riggs

* * *

I checked my phone for what must've been the tenth time in only a couple of minutes. I didn't know if Elena and Damon were alright, if they'd found anything, if they were on their way back... Could I have gone with them? Yes, I guess. But _should_ I have gone with them? Probably not. So I just had to get myself together and deal with the not knowing.

The sudden vibration from my phone had me on high alert, and I answered breathlessly:

''Hello?''

''Hello, Evangeline,'' a familiar voice sounded through the phone. ''It's Carol Lockwood.''

''Mrs. Lockwood!'' I said, my heart dropping in disappointment. She didn't call me often – never, actually. ''How are you?''

''I'm good, dear, thank you,'' she said. ''Look, I was hoping for a last minute favour.''

''Okay...?''

''The Night of Illumination is coming up, as you may know. I need someone to compile appropriate posters.''

''Okay...'' I paused, thinking that asking _why_ might come off as impolite, but before I even got to consider it further she went on.

''You're certainly qualified,'' Mrs Lockwood said. ''Those summaries you wrote for the Historical Society really were wonderful.''

''That was in high school,'' I replied. ''I haven't written anything for you guys for years.''

''Oh, I know, but I was really hoping you would say yes.''

I knew she had other people she could ask, but she obviously knew I would say yes without almost any fuss. That had to be why she called me, and not someone else.

''Sure, I'm there to put up lanterns anyway.''

''Oh, that's great,'' she said, sounding thrilled. ''Thank you very much!''

''No problem,'' I said, and after we hung up I tried my best to keep myself occupied. Soon, though, I didn't have to make too much effort on my own. As soon as I heard the front door open and my mother call from the hallway, I scuttled down the stairs.

''Guess who just called me?''

My mother greeted me with a smile, and put a couple of grocery bags on the floor. ''Selma from housewives?''

''In your dreams. No, Carol Lockwood.''

She frowned. ''What did she want?''

I grabbed one of the bags and brought it to the kitchen. ''She wanted me to fix a bunch of things for the lightening ceremony,'' I said, opening the fridge.

She hesitated. ''That's... fun?''

''I guess.''

Panting slightly, she carried the last of the groceries into the kitchen. She gave me a hug and sat down on a chair, letting out one of the loudest sighs I'd ever heard.

''You okay?'' I raised an eyebrow at her.

''Mhm,'' she hummed, closing her eyes. I chuckled.

''Here,'' she said suddenly, and reached out her hand. ''Hold my hand.''

I took a deep breath. ''Okay.''

After opening up to my mother about wanting to practise, and then actually going through with it, things were going really well. It still put me off though, and I got these strange twitches when my brain told me to touch someone before I could register what I was doing.

I grasped her hand, and focused.

''So?''

''Can't feel a thing,'' I said, filled up with pride. ''I don't even have to focus as much as before.''

''I'm glad,'' my mother smiled. ''Now, please make me some lunch.''

Shaking my head, I let out a laugh, and started making a salad.

* * *

Later on that day, I was sitting by the computer doing one of my searches again when my phone rang. I'd actually managed to put my mind to other things long enough to be surprised when I saw the caller id.

''Elena?''

''Ev,'' she said. ''Can I come over?''

''You're back?'' I asked in surprise. ''Yeah, sure.''

A little while later I sat cross legged facing her on the floor in my room.

''How did everything go?'' I asked her, eager and anxious at the same time.

She shrugged. ''Well, we found them.''

* * *

A knock brought us out of Elena's retelling of her and Damon's trip to Chicago. I turned my gaze and saw mum's head peeking in through the slightly open door.

''I thought you girls might want some snacks,'' she said, and entered with a tray in her hands.

''Where did you hide that?'' I accused her and looked at the chocolate bar. ''I didn't know we had any.''

My mother shrugged, a sneaky smile on her face. ''I've changed the hiding spots.''

Elena looked between my mother and I with an amused look on her face.

''Thanks Mrs. Moreau,'' she said with a grateful smile.

''I've told you to call me Janine,'' she scolded jokingly. ''By the way, do you want dinner?''

''Sure,'' Elena replied.

My mother nodded. ''Okay. I'll leave you guys to... whatever boys you're discussing.''

''Wow, mum,'' I said. ''Assume we talk about boys? When there's so many other things girls our age could discuss-''

''Sorry,'' she apologised sheepishly. ''Makeup? Singers? School?''

''Exactly!'' I cheered. ''Thank you.''

She shook her head and laughed before she left my room.

''I know I've said it before,'' Elena said as soon as we were alone, ''but your mum is so nice.''

''Yeah,'' I frowned. ''But I can't believe she hid these from me.''

Elena giggled. ''One second you're super close friends-''

''And the next she's a parent again,'' I finished. ''Don't worry, we get a long really well, but she's still my mum.''

As we dug into all the good stuff mum had left for us, _I-want-to-say-something-but-I-don't-know-if-I-should_ was written all over Elena's face.

''Okay,'' I said. ''Out with it.''

She made a face. We knew each other pretty well by know.

''I never asked you,'' Elena began. ''I mean... I never asked you about Elijah.''

I closed my mouth and let my hand sink to my lap, all thoughts of chocolate out the window. ''What about him?''

She gave me a look. ''He never came to see you after the ritual?''

I shook my head no. ''It was a little strange, sure, but why would he?''

''I just thought that... I don't know. He seemed so interested in you.''

Grimacing, I pinched the bridge of my nose. ''By asking me about it everyone seems to suggest he means something to me too.''

''He doesn't?'' Elena asked. ''Not even in that 'interested' way?''

''I don't know!'' I said, exasperated. ''Not at first. But then... a little, I guess.''

''I'm not trying to force a confession or something.''

''I know,'' I sighed.

''What would you do if he came back?''

I thought about it for a short while. ''You know what he did,'' I finally said. ''And I know why he did it.''

''That's it?''

''That's it.''

Rearranging myself so that I had my back to my bed, I stretched my legs out.

''I saw him,'' Elena said suddenly. I wasn't prepared for her sudden mood shift, so I struggled a little to breathe normally when it washed over me. ''I talked to him.''

''Stefan?'' I pressed. So far, she'd only given me the overview of everything. She hadn't went into much detail, and I hadn't pushed her; but she never got as far as to tell me this.

''He said...'' her voice faltered. ''He doesn't want to come back. He doesn't want me.''

''I don't believe it,'' I said, bringing my knees up to my chest and resting my head on them. ''Don't think like that.''

I think all of us had been so convinced on Elena's hope that the thought of it faltering never even occurred to us. It caught me by surprise, to say the least.

''Has he switched?''

''I don't know,'' she replied in a murmur. ''I don't think so, but I don't know.''

''Elena,'' I paused, trying to find the right words. ''Can I tell you something?''

She drew a shaky breath, and nodded through the tears that were filling up her eyes and escaping down her cheeks. She angrily wiped them away.

''Do you remember what I told you at your birthday? Stefan loves you.''

''He loved me, you mean,'' Elena whispered.

''No, in present tense,'' I said. ''He loves you.''

She still looked like she didn't believe me, so I continued.

''I'd like to think I know a thing or two about emotions, okay? And, like I said, they don't just go away like that. Isn't nature all about balance?''

''Bonnie talks about that,'' Elena added quietly. ''With magic.''

''See?'' I smiled excitedly. ''Look, I still don't really understand this whole switch-business, and I don't think I ever could – I mean, completely – unless I was a vampire myself... But, if someone shuts it off, there has to be something fighting against it, no?''

Elena shrugged. ''What if he's compelled?''

''You said it yourself, you don't think he's turned it off,'' I reminded her. ''Besides, I'm just speculating. And if it goes for the switch, shouldn't it go for compulsion as well?''

''Isn't vervain the, like, counterweight to compulsion?'' Elena asked with a frown on her face.

''Sure,'' I said. ''It's one. But listen, emotions and free will and all that – that's way too complicated. There has to be other ways than just a plant.''

''You're getting too brainy, Ev,'' Elena said, the ghost of a smile on her face. I took that as a small victory.

''It makes sense though,'' I hesitated, ''right?'' My thoughts were racing. Even though I hadn't really provided myself with an answer. It somehow felt as if I was slowly putting together a puzzle, but I had no idea what the picture was.

''I don't know,'' she said, suddenly erupting into sobs.

''Hey,'' I tried to awkwardly comfort her by rubbing circles on her back. ''It's okay.''

Her whole body trembled in uncontrollable sadness, and I took a few deep breaths, feeling my hand twitch against her back.

''To cry, I mean,'' I added softly.

Elena made a frustrated sound and raised her shaking hands to her face, pulling at her hair. ''I-I'm only making it worse for you, I'm s-sorry.''

''I'm fine,'' I said, and it wasn't a lie. I was coping better than expected.

I tried my best to make her feel better. I knew her sadness wouldn't just disappear, and she deserved to let go of everything she kept locked up inside.

* * *

We spent the rest of the night talking, watching movies, and clearing the freezer of ice cream. My thoughts were still concentrated on what I'd come to realise, but we'd both silently agreed to not talk about anything related to the supernatural from then and on.

I'd dragged an extra mattress up the stairs, figuring I'd sleep on that and offered Elena the bed, but she'd refused.

When I stifled a yawn for the third time, she decided that we should cut the lights.

''You're not tired?'' I asked, looking her over. She had dark bags under her eyes and she looked rather pale, but her eyes seemed alert.

''Not really. I mean,'' she added, ''I haven't slept very well lately.''

''One would think that should make you tired.''

She laughed humourlessly. ''Yeah.''

Once we both had gotten settled in, lights off, the only sounds I could hear were faint voices from the TV downstairs and Elena's not so steady breathing.

''Ev?'' her voice cut through the dark.

''Yeah?''

''I...'' she paused. ''Do you think you could help me sleep?''

I leaned up on my elbows, looking towards the end of the bed. ''I can try,'' I said. ''If you're sure.''

''I'm sure.''

Swinging my legs out from the covers and over the edge, I turned on the lamp on my desk, spreading a dim glow throughout the dark room.

''What do I do?'' she asked when I came over to her.

''Just make yourself comfortable, I guess. I think you won't even realise it.''

''Ev?'' she mumbled, her eyes closed and head on the pillow.

''Yes?''

''Thank you.''

''You're welcome,'' I replied softly, and gently placed my hand on her hand. After wishing her to sleep, I saw her body relax. It worked.

I put the blanket I'd offered as a makeshift cover over her and sneaked back into bed. Not that I needed it at the moment, but I thought it would be nice to be able to do that for myself.

* * *

A few days later, I found myself dressed up in a flowy summer dress on Lockwood grounds. If there was one thing besides supernatural beings that this town didn't have any shortage of, it had to be founder's parties. Thanks to them, I had ten dresses in my wardrobe rather than three.

It was sunny and warm outside, but out of politeness or custom or something you went through the house first. My mother had imprinted that in me so well that I felt itchy all over at the thought of going around the house rather than through it.

''Evangeline!'' Carol Lockwood greeted me with a big smile on her face. She'd caught me by the back doors, scouring their massive lawn for any sign of my friends. ''I'm so glad you could come!''

''Hi, Mrs. Lockwood.''

''How's your mother?'' she asked.

''She's fine,'' I replied. ''She's working.''

''Of course, of course... How are those posters going?''

''They're coming along fine, Mrs. Lockwood, '' I replied politely. ''I'm practically finished.''

''Wonderful! Well, let me know if you need anything,'' Mrs. Lockwood kept on smiling, and with that, the small talk was thankfully over.

I didn't really know what to do at events like these, but I knew Elena should be around, and Caroline never missed out on these sort of things. Bonnie was back from her dad's, too, but I didn't know if she'd be here or somewhere off with Jeremy.

Eventually, I found all three of them on a bench in the gardens, away from the crowd.

''I have an identification spell that might be able to tell me what magic affected the necklace,'' Bonnie said as I approached them from behind.

''Magic? What'd I miss?'' I asked. All but Caroline jumped in surprise, but relaxed as soon as they realised it was me. Bonnie had a grimoire spread out in her lap, and a necklace in her hands.

''My necklace burned me this morning,'' Elena explained. She was still looking slightly sleep-deprived, but had the same glow and determination in her eyes as always.

''That's weird.''

''It's going to take a while, so tell me if anyone's coming, okay?''

While Bonnie focused, I went and stood in front of them instead; both to make conversation easier but also to pose as a lookout. Caroline was probably enough, but still. There was no room on the bench.

''So, you're not, like, switching Salvatores, are you?'' Caroline asked Elena.

''What?'' Elena choked.

''Caroline,'' Bonnie mumbled, eyes closed.

''Stay focused,'' Caroline chided her. ''As your friend who worries for you daily, what is the deal with you and Damon?'' She turned to me. ''You can tell, right? Can you feel anything?''

I shrugged. ''I can't feel. But he cares about you. ''

''See?'' Caroline turned back to Elena. ''There you have it.''

Elena had a exasperated frown on her face. ''Why are we even talking about this?''

''Hey, guys,'' Bonnie interrupted. When I turned my eyes to the left, Elena's necklace was floating in the air in front of Bonnie.

''What are you doing?'' Caroline asked curiously.

''I'm not doing anything,'' Bonnie said. ''It has its own magic.''

''That's...'' I gulped.

Caroline's head turned faster than I thought possible. But, she was a vampire. ''Someone's coming.'' I looked over their heads and saw a couple wandering towards us.

Bonnie smacked the grimoire close and grabbed the necklace. ''I need to look into this.''

''If I can't ask about Damon,'' Caroline began, as they got up and we slowly made our way towards the house. ''Can I ask about Elijah?''

''You too?'' I sighed.

''What?'' Caroline stared at me, wonder written all over her face.

Elena nudged her gently. ''I've already acted inquisition.''

''Well, there had to have been more than one inquisition,'' Caroline said. ''More than one inquisi... inquisitor.''

''There was,'' I said, a smile tugging at my lips.

''He hung around you a lot,'' Caroline continued, when she realised that I hadn't cut off her opportunity to dig into it completely. ''That was strange, right?''

''Yeah,'' I replied. ''It was. I figured he just wanted to know what I am.''

''He could've done that so easily though,'' Caroline said.

I shrugged. ''I have no idea why all that happened. But that's over now, right?''

''We can hope,'' Caroline said with a sigh.

''You okay?'' I prodded Elena with my elbow. She'd been so quiet.

''I guess.''

''Hey, did Stefan ever tell you where he got the necklace?'' Caroline asked.

''No,'' Elena replied quietly. ''And I never asked.''

After mentioning Stefan's name, Elena shut herself out of our conversation completely. When I glanced at her, she had a deep frown on her face and she kept her gaze down to the ground. I'm not sure if Caroline noticed or if she was too engrossed in discussing the upcoming school year – her ever favourite topic these days.

''Bonnie, Caroline, can I ask you guys something?''

''What's happened?'' Bonnie asked me, misreading the look on my face.

''No, nothing's wrong,'' I shook my head. ''But I have something I need to know.''

''Okay...''

Caroline nodded in agreement. ''Shoot.''

''What do you know about that vampire switch-thing?''

''Well,'' Bonnie began, and looked around to make sure we were still away from anyone's earshot. Elena was still in a world of her own. ''Not much more than any of us, I think.'' I looked at Caroline, who shrugged. ''Why?''

''I've just been thinking,'' I replied, biting into my lower lip.

''Have you asked Damon?'' Caroline piped up.

''No,'' I replied. ''I haven't had the chance yet. Could you guys maybe help me find out whatever we can? It's important. I mean, I think it's important.''

Bonnie looked at me incredulously. ''Sure. I'll look it up – see if there's anything.''

''I've just...'' I frowned. ''I've got this feeling.''

''Then I guess I should _definitely_ look into it?''

I smiled. ''It would be appreciated.''

When we went among the rest of the guests things never did end up feeling quite normal. Out of the four of us, Caroline had it easiest to move on and focus on everything else. Bonnie and I discussed the switch, and I filled her in on my thoughts I'd already shared with Elena. The latter stayed quiet apart from some brief and polite smalltalk with some of the other guests.

The start of term was fast approaching. I knew that I'd have enough money saved soon to get out of Mystic Falls if I wanted to. I'd always had conflicting feelings when it came to leaving. I wanted to go to school, but I had also gotten into a somewhat comfortable routine here. And now, with everything that was going on, I was starting to feel even more conflicted. I had ties here that I couldn't just break.

I turned hands, palms facing up, and stared at them. They looked just like any other pair of hands to me. Even when I tried to find something strange about them – because there should be – I couldn't. I had too much unfinished business here to go to college next spring. I supposed it could wait. Maybe I should just leave it up to time to decide where I was going. _When_ I was going.

* * *

 **Whenever I see or experience a mother bringing snacks on a tray I can't get Mean Girls out of my head.**

 **I'm not sure I like how this chapter turned out, but oh well... Next chapter will be a somewhat special one!**

 **Also, I tried to paste the Spotify link in my profile, but for some reason it doesn't work? I mean, it's there when I edit my profile, but it's never in the update. Any thoughts?**


	32. Chapter 30

**Writer's block is a pain... Sorry for the delay :/ Summer's here, and we've had 25-30°C the last couple of days (ugh), and not a lot of rain this spring either (wrote this after I wrote the chapter, so now I really recognise the feeling from the first paragraph...). Hopefully we don't get a repeat of last year's wildfires, because that was horrible.**

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 **The Battling Bard: Yeah, I agree – While Elena's never been my favourite character, I don't think she's often treated fairly**

 **ahyeon: Thanks, as always ;)**

 **Red red red ribbon: Thank you for your review! Hope I got the amount of reds right there :)**

 **Innieminnie: Well, I suppose it would. It did when I did a quick search, haha. But, for the sake of the story, it's not really in focus – also, I think if it would pop up, she would treat it the same as the HSP results bound to show, and not think of it as an actual power but more of a personality trait.**

 **Guest: I'm not confirming nor denying anything, because I've thought about what would happen too, but I like your ideas and they are entirely plausible :)**

 **TheComprehensiveJellyfish: First off, I love your username XD I'm glad you think so, I don't think falling in love with a man instantly, right after seeing him decapitate someone, is quite realistic either. I sure wouldn't, no matter how handsome he was**

* * *

 **If you're interested in the playlist/soundtrack, my Spotify username is bookworm96 (original, I know). It's got the same name as the story.**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries, only my own characters and plots**

* * *

 _''You've got a habit of using people_

 _You get what you want no matter what the cost_

 _You've got a habit of using people_

 _You seem in control but inside you're lost''_

\- Gabrielle Shonk

* * *

The following week passed in a blur. The warmth that came with the beginning of June had been persistent throughout the whole of the summer, and we'd had very little rain. The whole town was tired, sleepy, almost. The abnormally hot weather made everyone irritable eventually, the heavy air smothering people's energy and at times testing even my mood.

That's partially why I'd signed up for training with Elena and Alaric, to let off some steam. The other reason was that I, besides the progress I'd made, still felt distinctly human. I was stuck with human strength and human speed. Elena wanted to learn how to defend herself properly – and also relieve herself of some pent-up emotional stress, I think – and when she suggested the idea to me, I didn't need to think twice about it.

So, in the early hours of the first day of school I found myself in the middle of the woods with the two of them. I had, thankfully, been guided there. Otherwise, I would've probably ended up lost.

'' _Are you serious?_ ''

''Yup.''

I don't think my reaction measured up to what I was actually feeling. I was lowkey relieved that I wasn't a senior. I was worried. I didn't know how to react, how to think, what to say.

''That's three,'' I said after a while.

''Huh?''

''That's three,'' I repeated. ''Three Original vampires.''

''And not one is particularly nice,'' Alaric muttered, throwing the bag he'd brought with him on the ground, unzipped it, and went through its contents. He pulled out a small crossbow, and then a couple of strange looking objects.

A part of me wanted to ask if there had been any mention of Elijah, but I kept quiet. The only reason I thought that was because something in me, apparently, was still interested in knowing; despite the time spent to move past all that.

''How is everyone?'' I asked, thinking mostly off Matt and Tyler, who'd both _died_. When I'd first heard it, my legs almost gave out. Tyler was a hybrid now. Elena was a walking blood bag. To Klaus, that is. I cringed even when I thought the word.

''Good,'' Elena said with a sigh. ''Considering.''

She was obviously _not_ fine. I kept my walls up, but the frustration was clear in her eyes, her harsh movements, and her tone. Now was not the time to pry.

While Alaric strapped a dummy to a tree, Elena bent down and grabbed something looking like stakes on a wristband, trying fastening it to her lower arm. ''How does this work?''

''Well, you've got half of it right,'' Alaric said and turned to adjust it for her. ''The pressure of your punch ejects the stakes.'' He grabbed another one of the same kind and put it on his arm. ''So, you punch-'' he slammed his fist into the dummy, the stakes penetrating its chest, ''and voilà.''

Elena pursed her lips, determination on her face. ''Okay,'' she said, and took a deep breath. She threw a punch, but the stakes stayed in place. She tried again, but didn't manage that time either.

Angrily, Elena unfastened the device from her arm and handed it to me. ''You try.''

I struggled a little with putting it on. The leather was unfamiliar against my skin, and it made my whole arm feel a little stiff – almost as if it was splinted or something.

''You should start lift some weights, put some meat on your bones,'' Alaric said, earning a glare from Elena.

''Here it goes,'' I mumbled, took a stance, and punched. It didn't work.

''Try again,'' Alaric encouraged.

I loosened my fist and wiggled my fingers a little before closing my hand again. I put some more focus behind the punch this time, and it worked.

''Whoa.'' I let out a surprised laugh. It made me feel strangely powerful.

''Good,'' Alaric praised.

''Lucky you, no weight lifting,'' Elena smiled, seemingly not looking forward to it. I think she was a little sour that I'd managed to do it but not her.

''I guess that could be useful anyhow,'' I said, looking at something else Alaric had just pulled out of his bag. ''What's that?''

''It's a vervain grenade,'' Elena said quickly. ''I've used one before.''

Alaric turned it in his hands. ''Then you know... the element of surprise is your only advantage when it comes to a vampire.''

Then he pulled the pin on the grenade and threw it to Elena.

''Surprise.''

''Holy-'' I yelped. Luckily, Elena acted quickly and threw it away before it exploded. She turned to our teacher for the day with a glare.

'' _This isn't a joke to me, Ric_.''

''You think I'm joking?'' Alaric replied harshly. ''Vampires will take whatever they want. They will hurt whoever they want. And they'll do it without remorse. It's in their nature.''

I couldn't help but think back to Elijah. He hadn't taken what he obviously wanted. And I had no idea why. Alaric was slightly biased on purpose, I think, to get more out of Elena. I didn't pay very much attention to their jibes, as I was still slightly dazed from almost getting blown up.

''You don't have to use pronouns,'' Elena muttered. ''You can say Stefan.''

Alaric sighed. ''Look, I get why you're here. Stefan hurt you. You don't want it to happen again.''

''But you think I'm crazy,'' Elena said. ''To believe that I can protect myself from a vampire who's flipped the switch on his,'' she glanced at me, ''humanity.''

''I think you found a way to get out of bed this morning. And that makes you the strongest person I know. I think you can do pretty much anything.'' His words were sincere, but I don't think Elena took particular care at the moment. She muttered something inaudible, and grabbed a normal stake from the bag.

When she hit the dummy this time, the stake tore straight through its chest.

* * *

After training – as soon as they'd escorted me out of the woods – we went our separate ways. When I thought about what was left of the day, all that filled me up was exasperation. It almost felt like going back to the beginning of all of this, when I was just their substitute teacher without a clue.

I still felt a little like I had no clue about everything. The summer had been pretty uneventful, but last night had changed that. I tried to wrap my mind around it. Two Originals gone, but one left behind in Mystic Falls. I hadn't even met her, but from what Elena had told me, she was just as ferocious as her brothers, if not more.

And then there was Stefan.

Well, he was back, apparently. But he was probably in a worse state than he left in. I don't know whether having the state of his switch confirmed was a good thing or not, partly because someone running around ripping people apart _without_ dulled emotions seemed somewhat worse.

* * *

Mystic Falls High was practically buzzing. The halls were filled with chatter, tanned kids, and that unintelligible excitement that would disappear as soon as the first week had passed.

I greeted a few familiar faces as I passed, my smile getting wider and wider at everyone's eagerness. When I'd reached the teacher's office I had trouble wiping the grin off my face.

Quick as I could, I went to go through the information left for me. Not that there was much to do, the first day back. Some teachers started the course instantly and almost forcefully the first lesson, but some just did an introduction and then let everyone go. Seemed Mr. Davis wanted me to do the latter.

I grabbed the handouts someone had printed and placed in a neat pile on his desk, and headed to the door, sending a silent thank you to Mr. Davis for being organised. He'd probably sent someone an email from his cabin and had them fix everything. It wouldn't be a surprise. As I went to grab the handle, I had to quickly jump back to not get hit by the door when it swung open.

'' _Jesus_ ,'' I breathed, and frowned when I looked up to see who it was. ''Stefan.''

''We're far from synonymous,'' he said, taking a few steps closer. When I instinctively backed up, he smirked.

''What are you doing here?'' I asked, trying my best to ignore my racing heart, because I knew he could hear it.

''I go to school here, professor.''

''Funny,'' I retorted.

''I'm here because Klaus wants me to keep an eye on Elena while he's gone,'' Stefan said, and leaned casually up against the door, consequently blocking my exit. I thought to ask him where Klaus had gone precisely, but decided against it.

''That's the only reason?'' I asked him, not letting my eyes wander away to where I couldn't see him.

''Why would there be another one?''

''Yes,'' I said slowly. ''Why would there?''

Stefan frowned, and I couldn't believe it. ''What's your game?''

''No game,'' I said, contemplating his failure at keeping face.

''You always were observant,'' Stefan said. ''Scheming.''

'' _Scheming_?'' I laughed. ''Now you're really reading into things.''

''Am I?'' he said, boring his eyes into me. I tried my best to keep a straight face. Lying sure didn't come easy. If this could even be considered lying.

''If you don't mind, Stefan,'' I said, and stared him straight in the eyes, ''I have places to be.''

''Go ahead,'' he said, and made a gesture with his arm.

Letting out a small sigh, I held onto the material in my arms a little tighter, and made my way past him.

I wished that I had gotten to know him better than I had. Somehow I seemed to have had more conversations with Damon than Stefan. That's just how it had happened, I don't know why. When this had all started I hadn't even particularly liked Damon. Stefan seemed more talkative now than he was before, but I would obviously prefer his past self. Now, he was like a ticking time bomb. Cut the wrong wire – say the wrong thing... _Boom_.

Weaving through the mass of students in the hallway, I hurried to the classroom reserved for French. I had kind of hoped that no one would have gotten there yet so I had some time to collect my thoughts, but some of the students were already there.

''Bonjour,'' I greeted them, slightly out of breath. I got a few smiles and nods directed my way, and when they realised I wasn't going to begin the lesson just yet they went back to whatever they were doing.

I sat down, picked up one of my pens and twirled it between my fingers. Being back in Mystic Falls High was strange, to say the least. I almost felt more comfortable seeing all of my friends outside of school – they now seemed somewhat out of place in class.

It was a little easier getting back to normal, so to speak, when I had classes without them. French was one of those classes. The only, as I was usually called in for History or English.

''D'accord,'' I said when the clock struck nine. Standing up, I folded my hands in front of me and let my gaze sweep across the room. It was a small class this year, only a handful of students. Not everyone took French through all four years. ''Ça va?''

I made it through the introduction Mr. Davis had wanted me to do by pure routine. I was somewhat aware of what I was saying, or, well, I was – but it was as if the words came out of my mouth without me thinking about them. I wasn't quite there.

When I'd made it through the first fifteen or so minutes of the lesson, still in my zombielike state, something happened that pulled me straight out of it and had my nerves on high alert.

The door slammed open with a bang, and walked a blonde girl with a blank expression on her face.

''Yes?'' I asked expectantly. I hadn't seen her before, not even around town. Slowly, a chill ran through my body when I started to realise who she probably was.

The girl walked over to an empty seat and sat down, crossing her legs with a defiantly bored look on her face.

''I'm new,'' she tilted her head and forced a smile.

''Et votre nom?'' I asked her, wanting to confirm my suspicions after also hearing her accent; and even if I knew what was coming, my breath still caught in my throat when she opened her mouth and said:

''Rebekah.''

* * *

It was my lunch break when I saw her the second time. It wasn't a big school – and when everyone fawned over the new girl it wasn't difficult to spot her in the centre.

The seniors had P.E., so when I was on a stroll around the grounds I passed them by the stadium. Rebekah was in the middle of the cheerleading squad, and Caroline wasn't looking too happy about it. Rebekah, on the other hand, seemed completely at home.

I watched her from across the field. Just looking at her, she could pass for any young and popular girl out there. You would have no idea what her true nature was like.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a text from Elena, wondering if I was alright. Seemed Rebekah had joined the seniors. Why an Original vampire would do such a thing was beyond me. Her two brothers appeared to spend most of their time forging diabolical plans, but so far, all she seemed to be busy doing was becoming the resident queen bee.

Throwing a glance towards the field again, I quickly typed a reply to Elena, and then slipped the phone back into my pocket. Rebekah was doing cartwheels and somersaults like she'd done nothing else since the day she was born, and when she landed after a long combination, she had a big smile on her face. It was completely absurd, and completely intriguing.

* * *

The last class for the day was senior English. That meant that I'd have all my friends, plus Stefan and probably Rebekah, and I wasn't really looking forward to it. Stefan still felt like a ticking time bomb. He knew about me, and there was no telling whether he'd rat it out or not.

Safe to say, I was an internal mess by the time I was heading from the teacher's lounge to the classroom. When I entered, I was met by Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie.

''You're early,'' I said, and went to place all my things on the table in front of the class.

''Have you met Rebekah yet?'' Elena asked.

''Yeah,'' I said with a nod. ''She was in my French class. Why on earth has she enrolled in _high school_?''

''She told me that she wanted _my life_ ,'' Caroline grumbled, and the hairs on my arms stood up. ''She's probably gonna have a go at Tyler, and – _ugh_!'' She pressed her lips into a thin line and was practically seething.

''Apparently, Klaus took off without her,'' Elena said, eyeing the angry Caroline with sympathy. ''And now she's here.''

''But...'' I paused. ''Why?''

Bonnie shrugged. ''Who knows. Maybe he left her to keep an eye on Stefan?''

Speaking of the devil, as soon as his name escaped her mouth, the door burst open, and in stepped Stefan. He crossed his arms across his chest, and leaned against the wall with an arrogant look on his face.

''Stefan.'' Elena looked anything but happy.

''What are you guys doing?'' he asked, looking between us, still smiling.

''Waiting for class,'' Elena replied coldly.

''Oh, well then I'll wait with you,'' Stefan said and clapped his hands together, as if it was a cause of celebration.

My eyes darted between the others. Caroline had a grim look on her face, and Bonnie's pokerface was almost flawless were it not for her rigid posture. And Elena, well...

''Stefan, you can't tell anyone about Ev,'' Elena said suddenly. Nervousness had been nagging me all day, ever so slightly at the back of my mind. He knew about me, and he was ticking. I was grateful for Elena's backup, because I don't think I would have said anything about it myself, at least not yet.

''Why?'' he shrugged, a smirk tugging at his lips.

''Because,'' Bonnie said, her voice firm, ''she doesn't want anyone to know unless they have to.''

''If she's in on all this,'' he gestured towards the other girls, ''why does it matter?''

''It matters because I don't even know what I am,'' I told him angrily. ''And I don't want to throw it around like it's nothing.''

''If you're in it...'' Stefan trailed off.

''No, Stefan,'' Elena snapped.

He smiled, but didn't say anything else. Other students started coming in – our cue to break it up – and Stefan was in his seat before any of the rest. As the classroom filled up, my eyes wandered to him. He was staring right back at me, still smiling. It wasn't a kind smile, even if my gut didn't warn me it was evident in his eyes. But it wasn't dead cold, either.

''Miss Moreau!'' a familiar voice called from the door, and redirected my attention. A grinning Isaac was standing in the door, his arm stretched out in a greeting gesture. ''You're alive!''

For a second I thought about all the things that could actually, potentially, have taken my life, and my thoughts were way too serious than that comment should have made them. Not coming up with any words to give back, I simply welcomed him with a smile before I turned to the whole class.

''I've got orders from Mrs. Cooper,'' I said, while handing out the worksheet from the folder she'd left on her desk. ''She wants you to do a diagnostic.''

Any other day and I think the rooms would be filled with more protests, but that was the joy of the first day back. Everybody had the energy to do almost anything. I, on the other hand, was starting to feel the repercussions of getting up so early.

I threw a worried glance at Stefan, and was met with a smirk. But he kept his mouth shut. Of course, that didn't mean he wouldn't give me away later. The door opened another time, and Rebekah stepped in.

''Take a seat,'' I said, and she plumped herself down in one of the chairs closest to the door. I handed her a worksheet, looked at the clock on the wall, and waited until it struck an even digit. ''Alright, go ahead.''

The room was instantly filled with the sounds of rustling paper and the scribbling of pencils. Rebekah took one look at the sheet in her hands before dropping it on the desk. ''This is ridiculous.''

Ever since I'd become friends with Elena and the rest, it felt a little as if I'd lost whatever authority in the classroom I had over them, and Rebekah... she was on a whole other level. I knew I had to deal with it as any sub would, but it was like I'd momentarily forgotten how to do that.

''Well,'' I said, and cleared my throat uncomfortably, ''it is what's required. So I'd suggest you do it.''

Rebekah mustered up the sweetest smile she could, but I could see her eyes darken when they bore into mine.

''It's not a problem,'' she said, not as a reply, but more as an order. Even if the other students weren't all looking at us, they most definitely were listening.

''You do it now, or when Mrs. Cooper is back,'' I said slowly. ''Either way, you're doing it.''

Maybe I was stupid. Maybe she wouldn't kill me for resisting her compulsion. Maybe she couldn't know if I were on vervain or not.

She huffed, but grabbed a pencil and started scribbling down answers.

I was completely baffled. She was actually writing something down. It could be insults or rambles, but still. Why was an Original vampire in school, in class, and taking instructions from a substitute teacher?

The rest of the class was still writing when Rebekah stood up, went up to my desk, and put down the worksheet right in front of me. She looked at me daringly, then turned around and walked straight out of the classroom.

Her handwriting was extremely elegant; her letters old fashioned, swirly, and beautiful. All her answers were correct, and there was no jabbing comment to be found anywhere on the page.

My eyes went to the door she'd just left through, because I really couldn't believe what had just happened.

* * *

When the classroom had emptied of students, Bonnie came up to my desk and said without hesitation:

''I've got an idea.'' Her words were quick and short. ''About the switch.''

We'd both had a couple of days to think about it, and I hadn't pressed her for answers. I mean, I hadn't come up with anything useful, so I wasn't going to stress her out by putting all of the work on her. Patience was a virtue I did possess.

I put down what was in my hands and eyed her with interest. ''Okay?''

''You can manipulate emotions,'' Bonnie began.

''Yeah,'' I said and made a face, ''but I don't really like the term manipulate.''

''Do you think you could turn someone's switch back on?''

''I-'' I paused, marvelling at the idea. ''I have no idea. I don't know how it works.''

''I'm still not completely sure either,'' Bonnie said. ''But, let's say the switch is reliant on emotion. What if you could, like, kickstart Stefan?''

''But... I mean,'' I stopped. ''Like I said. There's no way there are _no_ emotions inside of you.''

''But you should be able to enhance something, right? Couldn't that trigger their switch?''

''I don't know,'' I bit my lip. ''And if I could try it, maybe... I don't know. But who knows what Stefan would do if I tried to do that to him?''

Bonnie grimaced. ''Yeah, but let's just play with the idea... what if we got him tied down?''

''There's no harm in trying?'' I said, not completely sure, and certainly not liking the idea of an angered vampire and what he could do that was now forming in my mind.

''That's what I'm thinking,'' Bonnie said. ''We need a plan.''

* * *

 **Harbouring a long-time crush on Tom Hiddleston is slowly but surely breaking my heart. Seriously, it's been years. Help.**


End file.
